Jan 29th 2014
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Posted:Jan 29, 2014 7:01 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
6398 Views
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Its been awhile since I have blogged. Still staying busy and can't wait till the wheather gets better so I can start jogging again. Cold weather and me just don't get along. Still with my mate, and have committed to him sexually, still emotionally find it difficulty, becuase when I think I am ready something happens that scares me in the committal department. I know he would like to have more from me but due to circumstances in both of our lifes it is just not possible at this time, but as he says you never know what the future will bring, patients, trust, and understanding is what we have going for us at the moment. My ex fling found out that I was seeing him, and how fast I started hearing from him again. But I have to say it was good seeing him, showing him that I am happy, and that I have made changes in my life. But I did let him know that it might not be a good thing for him to come to my house any longer. I also told my mate and he agreed that I should of seen him one last time to see if there was any feelings for him. In the end my ex fling chose his life and I am chosing mine I wish him a world of luck in his future. I enjoy blogging on here and throughout the years this has been the main place to do it, due to I can always express myself openly, not only emotional but sexually as well. My mate tells me he has never meet someone like me that can be such a lady in public, then such a freak in private, and the frequency in which I want it. So for now TTFN
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10/16/2013
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Posted:Oct 16, 2013 6:49 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
7208 Views
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Wow it has been a while since I blogged last. Work is busy and still traveling quite a bit. Sad to think no more camping at the lake until spring well unless a camper is involved. Still have my mate in which he calls me his girlfriend but I don't see it that way really. Just really good friends that share mutual things together, although I have committed myself to staying at his house and Saturdays now in which he is pleased and he is amazed on how high my sex drive is. Not had alot of time for a computer these days because he keeps me busy other wise. Going out and doing alot more things which feels good. Been loosing weight about 40lbs since I started and happy to say I am in a size 10. But will be happer for that size 8, then I don't think I want to get any smaller I like my curves. My friend said I will be just right when he can pick me up and get my against the wall. Told him that may never happen but he says it will, I do get a great workout with him for sure. everything else is just about the same. Nice to see the weather change so there can be some good cuddling going on. But tonight it is nice to be home in my own bed for a change.
TTFN
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July 16th
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Posted:Jul 16, 2013 7:27 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
7458 Views
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Been super busy since I last blogged. Working in Beaumont at the moment, not real fond of hotel life, but I do manage while I work out of town. Been spending alot of time down at the lake camping and playing in the water I have to admit my tan is looking pretty good this year. Still have my friend we do try to spend as much time together but it can be difficult at times. It is nice to have a steady partner at time but at this time he could never fully give his self, and I think I have been betrayed for so long it is hard for me to give myself fully. So it is what it is for right now. Work is going well, I am happy for the most part, but still at times feel I am missing something.
TTFN
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April 13th
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Posted:Apr 13, 2013 9:25 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
8408 Views
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I had a wonderful time on vacation, but seriously been playing catch up at work since I been back. But the good part of it all is I now work 4 10 hour days unless I screw something up then I will be back on 5 8's lol. Home life is still the same, my weekly thing is still going on. But I am trying to go out to see if someone will capture my attentions, if that happened the weekly thing would probably stop, but it would take a while. Been on a couple of dates they were nice, but I was only into them as a friend would be and yes there was no sex of even a kiss in the end. It would be so nice to meet someone in real time and get to know them first, and then go from there. I just don't get much luck from the internet thing. Beautiful weekend off to make the most of it. TTFN
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March 25th
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Posted:Mar 25, 2013 4:51 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
8648 Views
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Well the time has finally come, vacation working on my house and maybe slipping off to where I don't know before this vacation is over. Still no excitment going on still have the weekly thing going on but becoming a bit bored with the once a week thing. Im thinking I would like more, but can I get over the thought of seeing the same person day after day after day. I guess if it was someone that was spontaneous, excited me and we have chemistry maybe. I don't know a grown ups life can be difficult on so many levels, but it is not beyond me to set you free if I can't find that happy ending in the end. Can I seriously go without sex, yes I guess I could. Would I like it heck no. They say be patient and someone will come, but gonnitt how patient can a girl be. How many ways can I please myself, why can't I just be pleased by one person. I don't know maybe I have the problem. I just can't figure it out.
TTFN
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Feb 16th
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Posted:Feb 16, 2013 4:51 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
9496 Views
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Nothing changed since I last blogged work work and more work, but it hasn't been to bad. Finally got a schedule worked out with my new friend to come over once a week for a bit of adult fun and it helps on so many levels, it just amazes him that there are girls out there that can always be in the mood. I tell him that I have to think of happy thoughts to get me from one week to another. I sometimes wonder if I will ever have someone in my life sometimes. My was telling me about a few people who are couples and I ask her sometimes what the heck is wrong with me, she tells me I won't settle for second best, and these women hook up for security I understand that in many ways but still wonder if I can ever pass that obsticle and find someone who would want me for just being me who knows. Well I am off. Going to do some floating on my walls and maybe begin to paint a bit on the projects that I have been working on. Its nice to know that if I put my mind to things I can make things happen.
TTFN
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Jan 25th
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Posted:Jan 26, 2013 5:32 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2013 6:57 pm
10043 Views
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Wow I can't believe it has been this long since I blogged anything. Been so busy, I finally think my stalker has finally stop bothering me, although time will tell. I do finally have a steady non committal something something going on a few nights a week, better than nothing though, I don't think he even knew how much I work though, heard a little grumble from the bleachers the other day. What am I doing this weekend working of course but from the house is not to bad, a man gots to do what a man gots to do in order to take care of buisness. Can't believe my is going to be 19 next week, it has made me feel all about 30 now lol no I am happy being 47 and calming a tad bit, I like taking things a little slower these days and taking my time on getting there. Have a nice weekend.
TTFN
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December 2nd
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Posted:Dec 2, 2012 12:25 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2013 5:23 am
10446 Views
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Well this has been a week of good byes to a few people in my life, im afraid I have a few more that I will be doing that to by the end of next week. I did not see Eddie while he was home, not that is was my choice but I assume it was his, we needed to end things along time ago, but with recent events and me walking out of peoples lifes it wasn't to hard to totally let go this time. Yes I still care for him, but have you ever been with someone you knew that was toxic to you and you just could not let go. That was me and him in many ways just this time it was easier, long distance would have never worked anyhow I was just not willing to do that all over again. But I feel we will remain friends in the end. Work is going well, been doing it alot to duck and hide from people that I just don't care to see or be around. Starting to wonder about social networking, and if it is for me or not, Im thinking I might step back and well even though I haven't had much success at it try to meet someone in real time. When I find out where all the single men are. lol not to much exciting but hey still can't complain.
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Thanksgiving
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Posted:Nov 22, 2012 7:41 pm
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2012 12:15 pm
10553 Views
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Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine was quite but for once that is the way I wanted it. Did my volunteer thing with the Salvation Army today and loads of hungry people. Worked in my yard until it turned dark, and found out my are coming to see me this weekend. The fact Eddie is coming home from Virginia is such a added bonus for sure. I just feel there is going to be some changes coming up soon. I think I actually like taking some time off from work this go around.
TTFN
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Oct. 27th
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Posted:Oct 27, 2012 12:15 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
10617 Views
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Well the light bulb has come on after a few weeks of reflection on things over the past few months. Finally I go fully released from surgery. One of my friends who probably knows me the best, as me to forgive him because he realized he was wrong for the mean things his wife said, but he does not know how to make things better. He can't I told him this is something she has to find out on her own. and well it may be to late. removed her from social media site so she will not be able to know any about me any longer. I am guilty however about letting my self be so weak at the moment and letting my self esteme become an all time low, and it could have been the whiskey, but just don't know how it happen. But we had makeup sex and it was good damnitt I said it. known this guy for years and never let feelings like this get in my way like that before. He also said it was outstanding sex for him as well and wanted to know if we could do this on a regular basis. I told him I am not thinking this should ever happen again due to the nature it happened in the first place. Man I just wish sometimes I would meet a guy and just start dating so this mad monkey sex thing wont happen again. hmmmmm
TTFN
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Oct. 21
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Posted:Oct 21, 2012 5:52 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
10559 Views
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Sitting at home this morning, thinking about the piles of work sitting on my desk I need to gander at. I reflect about the events that has gone on in the past few weeks, and what had happened yesterday was pretty amazing. The old saying is that you have few true friends and many associates, but I knew he would come by one day and we would discuss some of the events that surrounded the drama of the past few weeks. He told me finally what I was being accused of, and gave me opportunity to prove him wrong. He told me a true man would admit his mistake and say they are sorry. He was truely sorry and could not bare the hurt in my eyes. I accepted his apology and sealed it with a kiss, he is truely a very close friend. We share many things and I felt like I got alot of much needed things off my chest. The weird thing was I think he likes to kiss me because he would not stop after that, and then he touched my hand and said it would be all right, then told me my skin was so very soft he never realized. Well ummmm horney by nature is what I am guilty of and not having sex since the second week of Aug. you kinda getting the picture that with evey kiss and every touch my heart was racing, but he is your best friend and you don't do things like that with your best friend, but I don't want him to stop either wonder how I am going to face him if he decides touch other things. " I need more consistant friends " then I would not be in this situation. I hear his breathing become heavier that wicked smile he gets when he is up to no good, and he did it touched my breast and pulled my shirt down just a tad to see what bra I am wearing today, Ok I like nice under cloths what can I say. He liked my bra very much and how it pushed my brest together forming a heart in the middle of my chest. Well anyone that truely knows me knows that when you get to that point and have me all sexually confused the next step was I guess to make up. So after 10 weeks of being sexually frustrated and drama of some very uneducated people that think they can read my mind and speak and accuse me of things that I have not done. I had make up sex for the first time. Crap I wanted to start a fight to do it again.
TTfN
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Oct. 11th
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Posted:Oct 11, 2012 4:48 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 7:11 pm
10597 Views
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Not much going on this week. The doctors said I should be ok by now. Just go slow with things. Still having issues with those people, but the good part of life is you learn and put things behind you. Work has been pretty busy so I don't have much time to ponder or whine about things that are out of my control. Think i will stick close to the house this weekend and do some things that I have neglected.
TTFN
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Oct 7th
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Posted:Oct 7, 2012 9:36 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2012 4:58 pm
10640 Views
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What a most stressful week my friend who was 88 passed away yesterday, and it has broken my heart. What more was during the process I find that who I thought was my friends were really not. No call, no comfort in what is a sad situation no nothing. So the feeling of having no friends and very few aquantices has made me depressed to unimaginable depths. I don't care about work, sex, or opening myself up to meeting new people more less opening my my heart to just get broken. My first thought was just to leave, move find a place who can accept who and am. I know I am going to have to get past this I can't bare solitude it can truely drive a person mad. How do I get past this feeling I do not know.
TTFN
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