Contemplating
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Posted:Jun 23, 2010 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2010 1:50 am
11686 Views
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I used to sit here and read through posts and blogs and used to wonder at how people allowed this site to take over their lives, or to become such a part of their life that it could upset them, or make them question or doubt themself. So many times I read posts and thought, Oh get a life.....
Im thinking now its time for me to get a life. i dont mix too much, dont chat in the chatrooms as i could never get my head round the catty behaviour and bitchyness that i saw no point in. i have met a few people from here, more quality than quantity. i have made a couple of good friends here (one very special one who knows who she is, i have your number and know where you live so you cant hide), some some lovely guys (definately in need of coffee break soon...and some help with my parking and directions). without HotMatch.com i wouldnt have met these wonderful people. now though im starting to question myself. why am i here, what is people's opinion of me...do i care...well yes, if im honest i do. i'd rather didnt think about me at all than think bad of me. i've had a tough week, events have made me think of things, put things into perspective. perhaps its time to see about getting the patches to help with the quitting process.
perhaps im just feeling a bit sorry for myself. perhaps life is just not as good at the moment as i'd like it to be. perhaps i should just go walk the on the beach and give myself a good shake. when i delete my profile it will be for good. no point in coming back as someone else, too bloody lazy to reinvent me.......think its the beach for now, clear the head, think of what i want, then just do it.
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15
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Contemplating
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Posted:Jun 23, 2010 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 12:35 am
10046 Views
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I used to sit here and read through posts and blogs and used to wonder at how people allowed this site to take over their lives, or to become such a part of their life that it could upset them, or make them question or doubt themself. So many times I read posts and thought, Oh get a life.....
Im thinking now its time for me to get a life. i dont mix too much, dont chat in the chatrooms as i could never get my head round the catty behaviour and bitchyness that i saw no point in. i have met a few people from here, more quality than quantity. i have made a couple of good friends here (one very special one who knows who she is, i have your number and know where you live so you cant hide), some some lovely guys (definately in need of coffee break soon...and some help with my parking and directions). without HotMatch.com i wouldnt have met these wonderful people. now though im starting to question myself. why am i here, what is people's opinion of me...do i care...well yes, if im honest i do. i'd rather didnt think about me at all than think bad of me. i've had a tough week, events have made me think of things, put things into perspective. perhaps its time to see about getting the patches to help with the quitting process.
perhaps im just feeling a bit sorry for myself. perhaps life is just not as good at the moment as i'd like it to be. perhaps i should just go walk the on the beach and give myself a good shake. when i delete my profile it will be for good. no point in coming back as someone else, too bloody lazy to reinvent me.......think its the beach for now, clear the head, think of what i want, then just do it.
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the road to recovery
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Posted:Mar 16, 2010 1:35 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2010 7:27 am
10223 Views
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i think i must be on the mend. my head is starting to clear and today when someone said what perfume are you wearing i didnt reply eau de vick.....
i think what i need now is to get out and get some exercise. the last couple of weeks have turned me into a lazy lump and now i need to get into the spring feeling.
hope you all have a really good St Patrick's day.
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I just hate it
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Posted:Mar 9, 2010 11:11 pm
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2010 1:52 am
11658 Views
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i hate being sick. i have the flu now for the past few days and instead of getting better im feeling as bad now as i did the first day.
im popping pills, lathered in vick, house stinks of olbas oil, hot water bottles in the bed, and none of it is working. if i drink any more honey and lemon i will get sick (more sick!!!). i cant sleep because im so stuffed, my head aches despite the pills,,,,i just want to be better, go back to work, be normal. supposed to be at work this afternoon but really dont know if i should be out spreading my germs to the wide world. i just want to get better NOW.
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4
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PMA
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Posted:Jan 26, 2010 12:20 am
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2010 7:28 am
10801 Views
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Today Im in Positive Mental Attitude mode.
There is a big bad world out there, but Im fecked if its going to beat me.
Have a great day all x
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4
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Why
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Posted:Jan 24, 2010 3:09 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2010 5:06 pm
10393 Views
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Why is it that those we care about most in our lives are the ones that hurt us the most. I sometimes wonder do they realise just how much it hurts, do they do it deliberately, or are they really that thick that they dont know what they are doing.
Right now I am hating myself. Why. Well over the past two days I have been hurt by the action of two people who are important in my life. The reason I hate myself right now is because I know that I shouldnt let them make me feel this way. One I guess Im kind of stuck with (my mother), the other I could walk away from, but cant.
My mother made comments yesterday that if you were to pull her up about them she would turn it round and make out that I was paranoid, that she was talking about other people, and didnt include me in it, even though she knows that the subject she was talking about cuts me to the bone. she casually drops these remarks in, especially when there are others there that she knows i wont make a scene in front of. so what do i do, i take it, walk away feeling like shit, and then cry when Im on my own.
the other person can make me feel like the most important person in the world, i cant imagine them not in my life. yet, has a habit of making me feel like total shit. the worst part is, that unlike my mother they know that i feel like shit, but think that i am just an over-emotional female. as far as they are concerned life is the way it is, get used to it. why complicate it. why want more than you are getting. they have two ways of dealing with it. they either pretend that its not happening, or else have a row and leave me feeling like its all my fault.
right now im going to head off to bed, have a good cry, get up early in the morning, walk the dog, and start a new day. hopefully tomorrow i wont be crying, i will do what i always do, put it behind me and get on with it.
what it does make me wonder though is. do i ever make anyone feel like shit. do my , or my family, or my friends, ever leave me,or come off the phone from me and cry because I have make them feel so bad. my god I really hope not..........
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5
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Why
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Posted:Jan 24, 2010 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2010 12:19 am
10046 Views
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Why is it that those we care about most in our lives are the ones that hurt us the most. I sometimes wonder do they realise just how much it hurts, do they do it deliberately, or are they really that thick that they dont know what they are doing.
Right now I am hating myself. Why. Well over the past two days I have been hurt by the action of two people who are important in my life. The reason I hate myself right now is because I know that I shouldnt let them make me feel this way. One I guess Im kind of stuck with (my mother), the other I could walk away from, but cant.
My mother made comments yesterday that if you were to pull her up about them she would turn it round and make out that I was paranoid, that she was talking about other people, and didnt include me in it, even though she knows that the subject she was talking about cuts me to the bone. she casually drops these remarks in, especially when there are others there that she knows i wont make a scene in front of. so what do i do, i take it, walk away feeling like shit, and then cry when Im on my own.
the other person can make me feel like the most important person in the world, i cant imagine them not in my life. yet, has a habit of making me feel like total shit. the worst part is, that unlike my mother they know that i feel like shit, but think that i am just an over-emotional female. as far as they are concerned life is the way it is, get used to it. why complicate it. why want more than you are getting. they have two ways of dealing with it. they either pretend that its not happening, or else have a row and leave me feeling like its all my fault.
right now im going to head off to bed, have a good cry, get up early in the morning, walk the dog, and start a new day. hopefully tomorrow i wont be crying, i will do what i always do, put it behind me and get on with it.
what it does make me wonder though is. do i ever make anyone feel like shit. do my , or my family, or my friends, ever leave me,or come off the phone from me and cry because I have make them feel so bad. my god I really hope not..........
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sad
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Posted:Jan 18, 2010 2:43 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2010 4:42 pm
10340 Views
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i got an email from a guy the other day. he said he had come on my profile while flicking through the site and remembered we had emailed a few times before, even chatted about possibly meeting up (then i broke my leg and was out of action for a while). anyway he just thought he would say hi seeing as i was still hanging around.
ah,,, thats nice,,,,
when i scrolled down to the previous emails at the bottom of his mail i discovered that we last spoke in 2005. feck sake. that means im here around five years. bloody hell. you'd think by this stage i would have either gotten sense, fallen in love, met a rich old man, or or or or.............
how sad is that..........
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2
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sad
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Posted:Jan 18, 2010 2:41 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2010 12:19 am
10069 Views
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i got an email from a guy the other day. he said he had come on my profile while flicking through the site and remembered we had emailed a few times before, even chatted about possibly meeting up (then i broke my leg and was out of action for a while). anyway he just thought he would say hi seeing as i was still hanging around.
ah,,, thats nice,,,,
when i scrolled down to the previous emails at the bottom of his mail i discovered that we last spoke in 2005. feck sake. that means im here around five years. bloody hell. you'd think by this stage i would have either gotten sense, fallen in love, met a rich old man, or or or or.............
how sad is that..........
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bloody typical
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Posted:Jan 7, 2010 8:14 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2010 3:08 pm
10419 Views
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i've had to do a fair wee bit of driving over the past few weeks through the snow and ice. i've always thought that i was a pretty good driver. some (males) have commented that i drive a little fast (i dont agree), although most would say that I am pretty careful and in control. i've had a few bumps over the years and honestly hold my hands up to one of them, totally my fault, the rest caused by bloody stupid people who shouldnt have been on the road.
anyway, off work today and managed to go get the and get home. was only popping into the house to deliver some stuff and heading out again so left the in the car and the car running in the driveway. ding dong went the door bell and standing there was all the little lads who live around me. all in a terrible panic. there was my car, no longer in the drive, but down in the street, kindly stopped by my neighbours car!!!!!!! did the lads care about my car, or my neighbours car, no they were all in a tizzy cos the was in it and they were worried he was hurt, lol. happy to say he was grand, sleeping happy as larry on the chair in front of a nice fire right now. my back bumper is bashed, my neighbours door is bashed, buckled and not opening so he has to use the passenger door.
feck it, thats what we pay insurance for. he was very understanding, just shrugged and said so what, worse could happen (although i think he might be wishing worse had happened to the instead of his car as he is a cat man and doesnt like my too much).
whats really pissing me off is looking at the damage to my car it looks like i reversed into something. so now when i drive down the road people will look and say "typical woman". oh well, not to worry.
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4
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to dress or not to dress
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Posted:Jan 5, 2010 12:20 am
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2010 8:17 am
10406 Views
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its quarter past eight and im still in my dressing gown, sitting with a cup of hot chocolate (mint flavour) contemplating do i attempt to go to work or not. Its snowed heady here last night. main roads seem to be passable, can hear traffic on them although cant see it, so the trial will be getting from the house to the main road. then there is the problem of getting home in the evening. if it snows more could i be stuck. i have a full tank of petrol, which is a bad bad omen. how come we only ever have accidents if we have a) filled the car with petrol, b) paid the road tax (i knew there was something i meant to do, or c) borrowed someone else's big fuck off car.
oh well, decision time. am i being safety concious or just bloody lazy. if the wont get out of bed on a morning like this, why do i have to.......
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4
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A new beginning ?????
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Posted:Jan 3, 2010 12:29 pm
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2010 2:42 pm
10827 Views
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Used to write little bits and bobs on North West Group, but as it seems to have run its course and for some reason cant seem to give up this place completely I thought I might try this blogging lark. Its a bit daunting, I have followed a few of the regular bloggers and do admire them and really not sure if I can do them justice, but will give them a try. cant promise that i will be here as often as some, life has a habit of getting in my way, but i will give it a go.
Well its back to work again tomorrow. Will be good to get back into a routine, i've gotten so lazy lately. I'm not one for new year resolutions, waste of time as I manage to break them pretty quickly. Still i guess i will go for the usual, watch the weight, walk the more often, and shave my legs on a regular basis (well thats probably the first one to be broken, who in their right mind shaves their legs in this weather, not as if anyone is looking at them). oh well if i manage two out of three i will be doing good.
A bit late but still would like to wish all my old friends from HotMatch.com (and those i have still to meet) a very happy and healthy 2010.
Anne
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5
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A new beginning ?????
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Posted:Jan 3, 2010 12:27 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 12:35 am
9967 Views
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Used to write little bits and bobs on North West Group, but as it seems to have run its course and for some reason cant seem to give up this place completely I thought I might try this blogging lark. Its a bit daunting, I have followed a few of the regular bloggers and do admire them and really not sure if I can do them justice, but will give them a try. cant promise that i will be here as often as some, life has a habit of getting in my way, but i will give it a go.
Well its back to work again tomorrow. Will be good to get back into a routine, i've gotten so lazy lately. I'm not one for new year resolutions, waste of time as I manage to break them pretty quickly. Still i guess i will go for the usual, watch the weight, walk the more often, and shave my legs on a regular basis (well thats probably the first one to be broken, who in their right mind shaves their legs in this weather, not as if anyone is looking at them). oh well if i manage two out of three i will be doing good.
A bit late but still would like to wish all my old friends from HotMatch.com (and those i have still to meet) a very happy and healthy 2010.
Anne
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Most Recent Comments by Others
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