Latest Update
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Posted:Dec 30, 2014 6:46 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2015 6:46 pm
14573 Views
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After meeting with the urologist, he informed me surgery under general anesthetic was probably my best option. He did inform me that I could take a wait and see approach since the pain was managable.
I scheduled the surgery for next Tuesday but found out that my current insurance plan will not cover the surgery. So, I had to cancel the procedure. I am shopping around for coverage under the federal marketplace and keeping my fingers crossed that I can get coverage in place quickly so I can reschedule the surgery. That's one of the perils to being self employed!
On a side note, I had to cancel my NYE plans. A significant winter storm hit my area today and roads are not so good. It looks like I will be spending a quiet NYE at home with my this year.
I am continuing to run. I logged 8.5 miles today and saw this afternoon. I am looking forward to having tomorrow morning off so I can work on a creative NYE HNW photo for you all!
P.S There is a blogger that I can't stop thinking about. Lately he has been the focus of some pretty sexy fantasies. Totally random, I know.
Hope you are having a sexy evening. Stay warm my friends. xoxo
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8
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Things Just Keep Getting More and More Interesting
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Posted:Dec 29, 2014 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2015 7:03 pm
14108 Views
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For those that were wondering..
The CT scan I had today revealed a 9mm mass (kidney stone) that is floating around my left kidney. Bad news is I can't pass it due to its size and my left kidney has become slightly enlarged. I have an appointment with the urologist tomorrow morning.
The urologist more than likely will do a procedure called a lithroscopy which uses sonic waves to break up the stone under general anesthesia so it can pass. The doctor once again asked me to rethink getting a script for narcotic pain medication which I once again DECLINED. Why are doctors so willing to divvy this shit out?
The good news is the doctor says as long as the pain isn't bothersome, I can continue to run. So I ran 5 miles today which helped almost to eliminate my pain. Interesting, right? Doctor said this could be due to the endorphins produced by my runs which can help to decrease pain. What also made today's run extra motivational was the hot guy running on the treadmill next to me at the gym!
Luckily, I haven't needed to take anything more than 2-4 Ibuprofen and the pain is very managable at this point. I even went to work and saw a few today.
As for NYE, that is still up in the air at this point. I really want to enjoy myself but I will need to get more details from the urologist. One burning question I have for him is if I can have sex because that is definitely on my agenda!
Thanks to all who commented and expressed support and concern on my previous post.
XOXO,
myelin {=}
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Welcome to my World
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Posted:Dec 28, 2014 6:20 pm
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2014 4:14 pm
14408 Views
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Disclaimer: you may want to pass on this post if TMI has you running for the hills screaming in disgust. I usually refrain from posting blogs about extremely personal stuff but I am in need of some moral support.
Last week, I began to notice some pain in my lower left abdominal and back area. I figured I pulled a muscle doing yoga and thought little of it. The pain woke me up at night so I began taking a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory.
I ran 5 miles on Monday, 7 on Tuesday and 7 more on Wednesday, as per my usual. After each run, intense left side and back pain accompanied by unexplained bleeding.
I got through Christmas thinking probably a case of dehydration and perhaps a UTI so I began homeopathic treatment. If you haven't heard of D Mannose, for UTI's, and you suffer from them, I suggest you research it. It has been very helpful for me. I took Thursday and Friday off to rehydrate and allow my body to heal.
Saturday afternoon I went on an easy 5 mile run. Toward the end of my run, my back pain was pretty severe. I upped my Ibuprofen regimen but like clockwork, 4 hours later, the pain returned almost worse than before, along with lethargy and a foggy-headed feeling. I made a mental note to go to urgent care if I wasn't feeling better by Sunday.
Woke up in pain this morning and said to myself, "fuck this." I went to urgent care and the UA sample showed no presence of WBC's potentially ruling out my hypothesis of a UTI or kidney infection. The Dr suspects that I may have a kidney stone. A kidney stone is something I have never had nor has anyone in my family. Weird. She wanted to send me to the ER but I declined so she set a follow up imaging appointment with my PCP.
I am scheduled for a CT scan tomorrow so they can assess the situation. I absolutely refused prescription narcotics (there is a story there) so the doctor sent me home with Cipro just in case the UA gave a false negative.
So, like an idiot, I decided that I just needed to go for another run this afternoon. As most of you know, running is my way of coping with stress. I managed to get 4.5 miles in before I threw in the towel. I have a pretty high pain threshold (from 2 natural childbirths) so I am not lying when I say that the pain was pretty intense.
Anyhow, this kidney stone issue has the potential to fuck up my plans for this week. If it does turn out to be a kidney stone that needs to be removed, I will have to cancel my awesome NYE plans I have in Kansas City.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the doctor was wrong and the Cipro will work its magic and I will be feeling better. Definitely needing good thoughts right now.
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Signs You Need to Get Laid (For Women)
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Posted:Dec 28, 2014 7:52 am
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2015 6:48 pm
13569 Views
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Dry spells are never fun, but hey, they happen! And sometimes for good reason—like maybe you just got out of a long-term relationship and need some time to heal on your own. In other circumstances, you know when you need to get laid. But just in case you need a friendly reminder, here are some telltale signs that your sexual frustration is at an all-time high:
19. You got excited when your hot co-worker texted you the eggplant emoji. Ohhh. You meant we should order eggplant for lunch. Got it. Next time, use your words! Also, please refrain from the banana emoji... and don't even get us started with the lollipop.
18. Your Internet browser has more X-rated searches than anything else. If you type the letter "p" into a search engine and it auto-populates PornHub instead of Pandora... 1. Clear your search history (no one needs to see that), and 2. Step away from the computer.
17. You got a little turned on by your beef burrito. Whoa. That Chipotle tasted so spicy that you almost forgot how hot sex can be! Yeah, there's no real correlation between the two, but the lack of sex is really messing with those synapses in your brain.
16. You made your friend spill every detail of her last date. Nothing is off limits, because you demand (and need) to know everything: what foreplay was involved, which positions they tried, how long it lasted. It's like listening to Fifty Shades of Grey as an audiobook.
15. You actively searched through your phone to find someone to sext. OK if a sext requires work, then it's probably not a great idea. Another word to the wise: never sext someone just because you feel obligated to. But hey, if hitting up hot bartender from last summer for a textual quickie is what you have on the agenda for tonight, who am I to stop you?
14. The last date you had was with your Rabbit. We love sex toys just as much as the next lady, but if you've been logging more time with a vibrator than another human being, it's probably time to take a break.
13. You may or may not have forgotten what exactly counts as sex. It's an honest mistake, but here's a clue: a one-night stand is not something you can find in IKEA.
12.You start to really appreciate the story lines in porn. Have you forgotten what really happens during sex? Let us remind you that porn is a fantasy: Most people can't last for 23 minutes and 24 seconds.
11. Your mailman is looking hot. Did he get a new haircut? Has he been hitting the gym? Hmmm. Either way, he and Craig from accounting are basically eye candy at this point.
10. You snapped at the barista for spelling your name with a 'Z'—AGAIN! COME ON. How many names really have a "z" in them? Are the odds of me having super quirky parents really that high that you decided to just go for it? Am I being punk'd? No, this outburst isn't PMS—this is sexual frustration.
9. You accidentally forgot to take a few birth control pills this month and DIDN'T panic. One of your pills just rolled under your nightstand and into a crack and you'll never see it again? Eh, no biggie. You haven't had sex this month (or for the last several) so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you're safe.
8. You start to reconsider your horrible ex. Is he single? The relationship was toxic, but the sex was fantastic. Worth it? Repeat after us: No, no it's not.
7. You haven't worried about STDs since the summer Olympics. Since your last checkup, the only strange fluids to enter your body recently came from that kale smoothie you bought at that sketchy street vendor down the block. It may or not have had a hair in it.
6. You've had sex dreams with Channing Tatum seven times this week. Damn you, alarm clock. Why does it always wake you up just when he was about to whip out some Magic Mike moves?
5. Your sexy underwear hasn't made it into rotation in a while. We get it; why throw on the all-lace black panties when the hottest thing you'll be doing today is bikram yoga? But come on, don’t you miss them?
4. The neighborhood cats are getting more action than you are. It may not be mating season in your house, but it certainly is in nature. All that howling and screeching you hear outside at night? That's just their way of telling you they're having sex and you're not.
3. Your bedroom is not exactly in might-bring-a-date-home-tonight shape. A mountain of dirty laundry? Check. Shoes scattered in every direction? Check. A little bit of leftover food? Check. It's time to put some sex on your schedule—if only for the motivation to clean.
2. You kinda let that whole grooming situation go down there. Sure, bush might be making a comeback. But if you've just downright neglected your nether regions, you're probably not feeling your sexiest.
1. You haven't had sex since Britney Spears dated Justin Timberlake. This isn't a dry spell—it's a full-on drought. Stop reading now, and alert the Weather Channel.
How many of these are you guilty of? For me, 19, 18, 17, 15, 14, 11, 10, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4. My house is immaculate because I clean constantly to keep my mind off sex!
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7 Reasons Most People Are Afraid of Love
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Posted:Dec 26, 2014 6:28 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2014 5:08 pm
14122 Views
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The story of lost love is one most of us can tell, and the question, "Why do relationships fail?” lingers heavily in the back of our minds. The answer for many of us can be found within. Whether we know it or not, most of us are afraid of really being in love. While our fears may manifest themselves in different ways or show themselves at different stages of a relationship, we all harbor defenses that we believe on some level will protect us from getting hurt. These defenses may offer us a false illusion of safety or security, but they keep us from attaining the closeness we most desire. So what drives our fears of intimacy? What keeps us from finding and keeping the love we say we want?
1. Real love makes us feel vulnerable. A new relationship is uncharted territory, and most of us have natural fears of the unknown. Letting ourselves fall in love means taking a real risk. We are placing a great amount of trust in another person, allowing them to affect us, which makes us feel exposed and vulnerable. Our core defenses are challenged. Any habits we’ve long had that allow us to feel self-focused or self-contained start to fall by the wayside. We tend to believe that the more we care, the more we can get hurt.
2. New love stirs up past hurts. When we enter into a relationship, we are rarely fully aware of how we’ve been impacted by our history. The ways we were hurt in previous relationships, starting from our childhood, have a strong influence on how we perceive the people we get close to as well as how we act in our romantic relationships. Old, negative dynamics may make us wary of opening ourselves up to someone new. We may steer away from intimacy, because it stirs up old feelings of hurt, loss, anger or rejection. “When you long for something, like love, it becomes associated with pain,” the pain you felt at not having it in the past.
3. Love challenges an old identity. Many of us struggle with underlying feelings of being unlovable. We have trouble feeling our own value and believing anyone could really care for us. We all have a “critical inner voice,” which acts like a cruel coach inside our heads that tells us we are worthless or undeserving of happiness. This coach is shaped from painful childhood experiences and critical attitudes we were exposed to early in life as well as feelings our parents had about themselves.
While these attitudes can be hurtful, over time, they have become engrained in us. As adults, we may fail to see them as an enemy, instead accepting their destructive point of view as our own. These critical thoughts or “inner voices” are often harmful and unpleasant, but they’re also comfortable in their familiarity. When another person sees us differently from our voices, loving and appreciating us, we may actually start to feel uncomfortable and defensive, as it challenges these long-held points of identification.
4. With real joy comes real pain. Any time we fully experience true joy or feel the preciousness of life on an emotional level, we can expect to feel a great amount of sadness. Many of us shy away from the things that would make us happiest, because they also make us feel pain. The opposite is also true. We cannot selectively numb ourselves to sadness without numbing ourselves to joy. When it comes to falling in love, we may be hesitant to go “all in,” for fear of the sadness it would stir up in us.
5. Love is often unequal. Many people express hesitation over getting involved with someone, because that person “likes them too much.” They worry that if they got involved with this person, their own feelings wouldn’t evolve, and the other person would wind up getting hurt or feeling rejected. The truth is that love is often imbalanced, with one person feeling more or less from moment to moment. Our feelings toward someone are an ever-changing force. In a matter of seconds, we can feel anger, irritation or even hate for a person we love. Worrying over how we will feel keeps us from seeing where our feelings would naturally go. It’s better to be open to how our feelings develop over time. Allowing worry or guilt over how we may or may not feel keeps us from getting to know someone who is expressing interest in us and may prevent us from forming a relationship that could really make us happy.
6. Relationships can break your connection to your family. Relationships can be the ultimate symbol of growing up. They represent starting our own lives as independent, autonomous individuals. This development can also represent a parting from our family. Much like breaking from an old identity, this separation isn’t physical. It doesn’t mean literally giving up our family, but rather letting go on an emotional level – no longer feeling like a and differentiating from the more negative dynamics that plagued our early relationships and shaped our identity.
7. Love stirs up existential fears. The more we have, the more we have to lose. The more someone means to us, the more afraid we are of losing that person. When we fall in love, we not only face the fear of losing our partner, but we become more aware of our mortality. Our life now holds more value and meaning, so the thought of losing it becomes more frightening. In an attempt to cover over this fear, we may focus on more superficial concerns, pick fights with our partner or, in extreme cases, completely give up the relationship. We are rarely fully aware of how we defend against these existential fears. We may even try to rationalize to ourselves a million reasons we shouldn’t be in the relationship. However, the reasons we give may have workable solutions, and what’s really driving us are those deeper fears of loss.
Most relationships bring an onslaught of challenges. Getting to know our fears of intimacy and how they inform our behavior is an important step to having a fulfilling, long-term relationship. These fears can be masked by various justifications for why things aren’t working out—but we may be surprised to learn about all of the ways that we self-sabotage when we get close to someone else. By getting to know ourselves, we give ourselves the best chance of finding and maintaining lasting love.
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7 Reasons Running is Better Than Sex
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Posted:Dec 24, 2014 5:06 pm
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2014 3:40 pm
14323 Views
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There are many reasons to LOVE running; you get a great buzz, you can do it on your own, you can do it with a partner (or two)....Sound similar to a certain other activity?
I thought this was interesting.
Here's 7 reasons why running MIGHT just be better than sex.
1. You won't lose your friends if you ask them to join in a group session
2. You can do it in public without fear of being arrested (unless you run naked, that is)
3. If your partner catches you with someone else, it’s way less serious (for most of us)
4. You don’t have to be ashamed if you mostly do it on your own
5. Your partner won’t mind that you’ve been looking it up on the internet
6. Your partners are impressed if you finish much faster than anyone else they’ve ever done it with
7. It’s way more acceptable to post pictures of yourself doing it
What do you think? Is this enough to convert you to being a runner yet?! 
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9
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HNW: Twas the Night Before Christmas
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Posted:Dec 24, 2014 6:17 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2015 1:39 pm
15085 Views
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Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
Except myelin
Quiet as a mouse.
The stockings were hung
Filled with dildos and
sex toys
I looked wide eyed
My loins filled with joy
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a sexy night!
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9
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Forgiveness
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Posted:Dec 21, 2014 12:51 pm
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2014 2:48 am
13551 Views
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I forgive you
Not for you
But for me
For I fear
That if I don't
Forgive
I will never
Forget
And if I
Don't forget
I will never
Be able
To let go of
What once was
And relieve myself
Of the anguish
Which I have
Come to know
As loving you.
-Antonio M Arce
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2
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Never Judge a Book By its Cover
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Posted:Dec 20, 2014 6:26 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2014 6:28 pm
13865 Views
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Re·al·i·za·tion
noun
1. The act of becoming fully aware of something as a fact.
"The realization of who your true friends and allies are."
Last night I had an informal holiday gathering at my house. I invited several friends, including former and current work colleagues. I received approximately 10 confirmations. What surprised me the most was the lack of enthusiasm I received from my current work colleagues. None of which attended. (Probably something I should explore in a future blog post).
To my surprise, those that attended were mostly staff from my former job that I was not very social/friendly with. These were colleagues I mainly kept on a professional level.
One of these colleagues was a Physician's Assistant that I had been somewhat aloof to at my former job due to comments from that led me to speculate about her professional character.
Since leaving my former job, this colleague has repeatedly defended my professional reputation to misinformed who were lambasting me. She has made referrals of new and previous to my new practice which could get her terminated if my former employer were to discover. She has become a friend, supporter and ally.
What I discovered from last night's gathering was that people who I considered and thought were supporters and friends, actually were the first to jump ship and distance themselves. Maybe the hostile, litigative work environment at my former employment contributed to this. Or maybe it's the fear surrounding cohorting with a former employee "judged to be the enemy" by my former agency.
In any event, I learned a valuable lesson about the importance of never judging others (even if it's only internal judgment). The person you are judging may actually turn out to be a true friend and supporter.
A question, Was there ever a time that you incorrectly judged a person who turned out to be an ally or a friend?
The holidays are a perfect time to reflect upon people who you have distanced yourself from. You never know the impact that the small gesture of reaching out may have on someone's life.
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It Has Been a Hectic Month
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Posted:Dec 17, 2014 8:07 am
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2014 11:13 am
14830 Views
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I have wanted to blog more this month but several things have prevented me from doing so.
First, a certain "friend/ex" continues to have access to my blog. I have honestly thought about limiting his access because it prevents me from being completely open in this forum for fear of hurting him.
Second, I have been very busy preparing for a holiday party that I am hosting this Friday for former and current colleagues and friends. I have been baking cookies. This morning, I baked peppermint kiss blossoms
and sugar cookies with crushed peppermint baked into the batter.
I also made cream cheese/tortilla pinwheels infused with feta and cranberries. I am serving hors d'oeuvres, wine, and a holiday sangria made with cranberry juice, 7-Up and Moscato wine.
I've also been busy attending a few concerts. I went to see the Tran Siberian Orchestra concert on December 5th and last night, I went with a friend to see Michael McDonald's Christmas concert.
On the sexual front, I crossed an item off my bucket list last weekend. I won't go into detail here but if you are curious, feel free to shoot me an email and I will disclose all the details.
I am gearing up for a half marathon in two weeks. It is a virtual marathon for the "I Run 4" organization that matches runners with special needs to inspire and give hope. I currently run for an 8 month old girl that has Down Syndrome. It's a wonderful organization and has really upped my game as a runner knowing I am inspiring a and her family.
Finally, I will be spending a quiet Christmas at home with my this year. I usually travel to visit family but decided it was more important to focus on keeping things simple.
For those of you that were wondering "Where's myelin's HNW photo?" I really wanted to post a HNW photo today but this week's theme was a little out of my comfort zone. You will just have to settle for photos of cookies instead. Not much of a consolation, I know but I will pick back up next week.
Here's hoping your holidays have been stress-free and enjoyable thus far.
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Naughty or Nice?? What's on Your Christmas Wish List?
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Posted:Dec 13, 2014 12:27 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2014 11:15 am
15391 Views
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Dear Santa,
I've been a naughty girl this year but I think I can redeem myself with this:
Pretty pretty please can have the following:
and this
and this
Sincerely,
Your Naughty Slut
myelin36{=}
Naughty or Nice?? What did you ask for or what are you hoping to get this Christmas?
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14
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HNW- Morning Routine
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Posted:Dec 10, 2014 5:43 am
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2015 7:35 am
16320 Views
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Welcome to my morning!
First things first. Coffee:
Then some strength training. (I'm really into resistance bands right now):
After getting all hot and sweaty, nothing beats a warm shower!
Won't you join me? 
Happy HNW!{=} myelin
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16
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The Stranger
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Posted:Dec 9, 2014 6:03 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2014 5:28 am
14469 Views
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Does it make you crazy?
To think he saw you- his eyes passed over you and if only there had been some small mishap in that pivotal moment. A spilled drink, a stumble through the door-his hand reaching out to steady you and it would have happened. A whole new world would have opened up like a vortex to swallow you both into blissful delirium. But you turned away, out of shyness or indecision and by the time you turned back, he was gone.
How do you explain it without sounding unsound? That click you felt when your eyes met his, like the switch of a train track, transporting you for one miraculous moment, to what might have been.
Then reality intervenes and with a shake of your head, you tell yourself to stop chasing shadows. But I can tell you now-- that click you felt, it was real--and you must not ignore it. For it is the sound of your fate beckoning. It is the voice of your destiny calling. Sometimes it only calls once.
-Lang Leav
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To link to this blog (myelin36) use [blog myelin36] in your messages.
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