7 Things Your Husband Wants To Tell You
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Posted:Jul 20, 2011 8:48 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 3:33 am
4284 Views
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So I thought this would be pretty interesting to share. It uses husband but I for one think it could be used as either way. It's communication. I am sharing this from yahoo.
1. A small "thank-you" makes a huge difference.
You might think, “I do plenty around here, so why do I have to say 'thank you' whenever he pitches in?” But he probably doesn't agree: “I’d cook, clean, do the dishes and laundry much more happily if my wife said ‘thank you’ more often,” says James.* Just like you, he needs appreciation and, yes, a little ego-stroking. “Studies have shown that happy couples give compliments often.
if all you want is a sympathetic ear. Dave* encounters this often: “The other day my wife was venting about a problem. Every time I came up with a solution or suggestion she would interrupt and dismiss it. She thinks I’m telling her what to do, or implying that she can’t think of solutions on her own.” Know that when he gives you advice for handling that bad boss or overbearing sister-in-law, “that’s how he shows that he cares,” says Dr. Lewis. Try not to confuse his advice with criticism, but don’t be shy about telling him, “You know, I’ve tried that, too. I think what I really need now is to just vent!”
3. If you want a chore done by a certain day, tell me that.
You asked him four times to fix the wobbly cabinet door to no avail, so your complaints about him not doing it seem justified. “My wife does this all the time. I know I have things on my mental to-do list that she wants me to handle, and I will! But unless she tells me it’s urgent, I’m going to get to it when I can,” says Don.* When he hears you ask for a task or chore to be done, all he’s hearing is that you want it done—not that you want it done based on a time line you've set but haven't shared with him, says Dr. Lewis. “He wishes you knew that he’d be very happy to fix whatever you want fixed, so long as you’re specific: ‘It would be great if you got that cabinet door fixed by the time my parents arrive on Sunday.’”
4. Tell me directly what’s bothering you.
Since human beings lived in caves, men have probably sat around bewildered by their mates’ fluctuating moods, wondering why she won’t just say, “I’m pissed off at you because...” instead of, “I’m fine” through clenched teeth. The thing is, he knows there’s something wrong, thanks to the exaggerated sighing and stomping around. “You may think you’re not communicating, but you are. What you feel is being transmitted,” says Creager, just not in a healthy way. The key is to express it directly––“I’m upset that you came home and went straight to the computer”––rather than being passive-aggressive.
5. Please don’t ask me how you look in that dress.
First of all, there’s no right answer to a question like, “Do these pants make me look fat?” Then there are the times you ask his opinion even though you’ve already made up your mind: “My wife seems to ask things like ‘Should I buy that dress?’ to confirm her choice, not to get my real opinion. And if she asks me how she looks in a dress, I know well enough to say ‘I love it!’ no matter what I really think,” says Alex.* So either don’t ask at all, or be specific, advises Dr. Lewis. “Ask him, ‘Do you think these shoes match this dress?’” And definitely think before you ask things like “Does my butt look big in this skirt?” If you want a blanket “You look great to me all the time, honey!” then you’re fine as long as your husband's willing to play along. But if it’s honesty you’re after, be careful what you wish for.
6. I wish you didn’t think we had to talk all the time to be close.You both get home from work, or finally get the into bed, and then you just sit there watching television. You call this togetherness? The truth is that he does, even if to you, it’s not “being together” unless you’re actively having a conversation. “The silence in the room, and just your presence, feels like closeness to a man,” says Dr. Lewis. “He doesn’t necessarily need, as you might, to be engaged in conversation in order to feel connected to you.” So every now and then, reach out and squeeze his hand, and if you want to talk, say so––but don’t assume that silence equals lack of interest.
7. I wish you wanted sex more.You may be thinking that your hubby always wants sex, but what you don’t understand is that by rejecting him you’re making him wonder what he’s doing wrong. “Many men think, ‘I must not be so good at it,’” says Dr. Lewis. It’s not just about his needs; it’s also about pleasing you. “Both men and women want to feel intimate with each other, and what women need to understand is that men often derive intimacy from sex––whereas oftentimes women need intimacy in order to have sex. So talk about what you both really want, and find compromises that work for you," she adds. And if you are in the mood? Act on it! He'll not only love that you initiated it, but also appreciate feeling desired by you.
*These names have been changed.
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Holidays Seem Lonely
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Posted:Jul 1, 2011 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2011 11:25 am
4131 Views
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Ever since I was 12, it's always seemed like holidays are just another day. I know I have my and I try to make them special for him. Depending on the holiday it is, he can just be overwhelming for me. I don't know really what it is about a male figure, but when they are around he sometimes can be a lot calmer. Perhaps cause it reminds him to be calm. The whole aspergers thing is still a work in progress. Learning his ways to deal and handle situations. My is my life but makes other things about life so hard. Than again is anything in life easy? Of course not.
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Men and no caressing
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Posted:Jun 20, 2011 9:03 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2011 11:27 pm
5045 Views
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So I know not all females are the same and we each respond differently. But honestly, if the person you are with is just going to lay there and not caress you or kiss your body at all how much are you going to get turned on. He just tries using his fingers to play with your clit, like um hello perhaps you may want to add a little more excitement to that.
Guys need to learn to explore. This is the way I think of it. Usually what I do with my partner is the things that would turn me on. So in a way I am showing him/telling him. If I am kissing his back usually means that might do something to me. And usually a smart one will understand the meaning.
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Loneliness
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Posted:Jun 5, 2011 10:36 pm
Last Updated:Jun 29, 2011 12:22 pm
4095 Views
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After awhile of being without anyone you start to be ok with it, or do you? Perhaps it is just the night time that seem the hardest. A mind can be ones own worst enemy. To let one think they could somehow vanish and no one would notice. It takes some different self talk to change that.
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Sharing in a blog
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Posted:May 14, 2011 3:14 pm
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2011 7:28 pm
4373 Views
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Over the last week or so I've been thinking it would be nice to have a place to blog or write. Sure I have here, but really how much would one really want to put out there on a site like this? Honestly, it's not that I myself have a problem with people know things about who I am and what not. I guess to me blogging is a way to get things out, to vent. Maybe I really need to stop thinking so much about what others think and just do. Because around here, worrying about what someone thinks gets me no where. And when I am open and say what I feel, I just chase them away.
Sometimes someone can look good and still have flaws, looks will fade the person inside usually will not. So I don't want someone to want me just for my looks.
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Who Finishes Last (not bedroom either)
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Posted:Apr 29, 2011 4:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2011 10:08 pm
4477 Views
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So the saying always goes "nice guys finish last" but you know what. Why is that statement generalized as "guys" I've had guys say woman don't want nice guys they want the bad boys, the assholes. Well, what the heck would I want another one of them for I've dealt with that for many years. I'm starting to wonder though where really does being nice get you? Being nice gets you told "hey, you're really nice, but______." I finally said to someone, yeah I'm so nice I'm such a little shit.
Then again people will say good things come to those who wait. Maybe if I come back in my next life as barbie it will work better.
Some people cant even seem to handle a simple conversation over the internet. Like it is to much.
But hey that is ok, I remind myself it's only their lose.
I'm not going to start mistreating people to get what I want, that will never be who I am.
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Time Away
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Posted:Apr 15, 2011 12:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2011 11:17 pm
3720 Views
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As some may have noticed I am not spending so much time on here anymore. I guess perhaps I am off in thought mode. Trying to figure out exactly what if anything I look for in life. Instead of sometimes walking around feeling lost.
To figure out ways to be ok with asking for things and saying what I need without feeling bad, when so many other people do it.
I guess my heart has just been to big and I've let to many walk on it so I'm taking time to really look at things. I will check in once in awhile.
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Bills
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Posted:Apr 1, 2011 11:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2011 8:14 pm
4132 Views
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I dont usually get so personal about this subject but gotta vent. One would think that from previous experience that I wouldnt want to have happen again, Right. Well guess not.
I dont have many bills to pay just the usual, I try to pay them on time. Yet seems for several months something has been going wrong that I've had to pay for that and that other bill has gone unpaid. And now that bill is high. So now, what is it my pride that stands in my way of making a payment cause I can not pay it in full. Which I know isnt going to get me anywhere except something shut off.
I know this isnt me, I also know that if I cant pay something in full I stand back. Makes me pull my hair in frustration.
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Going down on a male
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Posted:Mar 28, 2011 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2012 7:43 am
4994 Views
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Ok blog world so a friend shared something with me and wanted an opinion. So I will share it like this.
Let's say you have Sue and Joe, after a little bit of foreplay Sue decides to go down on Joe and turns to 69. After about a few minutes Joe seems to go soft. Ok, now Sue has had guys go soft before but never from giving blow jobs, usually its from condoms.
So my friend is feeling like she turned him off. Any thoughts?
All comments will be private until I approve them
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Song I heard today
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Posted:Mar 23, 2011 1:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2011 6:40 pm
4052 Views
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Ok yes I do enjoy country but I also like other music as long as its words I can understand. Anyway, as I was running my to school this morning I heard on the radio a very good song. So, I had to come home and look it up. Thought I would share the words with the rest of you.
It is by Ronnie Dunn who use to be part of the group Brooks n Dunn.
The song is
We All Bleed Red
By Ronnie Dunn
Let's say we're sorry before it's too late
Give forgiveness a chance
Turn anger into water
Let it slip through our hands
We all bleed red, we all taste rain
All fall down, lose our way
We all say words we regret
We all cry tears, we all bleed red
If we're fighting, we're both losing
We're just wasting our time
Because my scars, they're your scars
And your world is mine
You and I
We all bleed red, we all taste rain
All fall down, lose our way
We all say words we regret
We all cry tears, we all bleed red
Sometimes we're strong, sometimes we're weak
Sometimes we're hurt, and it cuts deep
We live this life breath to breath
We're all the same, we all bleed red
Let's say we're sorry before it's too late
We all bleed red, we all taste rain
All fall down, lose our way
We all say words we regret
We all cry tears, we all bleed red
Sometimes we're strong, sometimes we're weak
Sometimes we're hurt, it cuts deep
We're all the same, we all bleed red
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Legend Elizabeth Taylor
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Posted:Mar 23, 2011 7:48 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2011 1:10 pm
3863 Views
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Hollywood and America lost another good legend this morning. Elizebeth Taylor. At the age of 79, she passed away of congestive heart failure at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she had been hospitalized for about six weeks. She was the first person to speak up on the importance of AIDS awareness.
I myself do not honestly know much about her but what I do know is spoke up for what she thought and believed. There will never be another one like her.
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Why does it need a title
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Posted:Mar 20, 2011 5:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2011 6:41 pm
3826 Views
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Mind has been rambling so just putting it in some kind of words, forgive me if it may not make sense. LOL
So we all know we are all different in many ways, yet sometimes we can come across people who can sometimes understand us, even though we may not understand ourselves.
There are some who act like assholes to try and push people away, but funny no matter once you see the persons face you know they are not really how they act. I will not ever say sorry for being the way I am, Im sorry that some people cant handle hearing things about themselves. I always listen openly to what people say to me. Am I perfect, nope not at all. And I always welcome others to tell me how they see me, because sometimes I dont know I do things.
People are always saying why dont you just say what you want. Over the last few days I have been going over in my mind as to why. Perhaps its fear that stands in the way. Cause when I do state what I want, it is always a response of no or one that is negative in some way. So then I went and looked up want and need and this is what I found.
1. Wants and needs are economic terminologies.
2. A need is something that is necessary for a person to survive. On the other hand, a want refers to something that a person desires, either right now or in the future.
3. Wants are desires that are optional, meaning that you will still be able to go on living, even if the want is not met. On the other hand, if a particular need is not met, it could lead to a person suffering from illness, or even death.
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