Can u keep a on
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Posted:Jan 27, 2009 4:02 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2009 4:30 am
1792 Views
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One of my friends sent me a text..."Youll be reported for too much realism in your blogs Mari"..lol...Never talk about sex, politics or religion so the saying goes...Well I am interested in the first two of those and so blog on them...
My 11 year old sons father is a Senior Network Consultant in the pharmaceutical industry...He earns £60,000+ pa...The CSA has in their reprehensible teethless inadequacy assessed his support contribution to be £7.35 a day...
It is 10 years he has hoodwinked and cheated via the CSA on his support. I am told by the CSA I am lucky to get anything as so many dont..
Hats off to all the Daddies I know thru the site who never let their go without, ensure they provide anything the mothers cant provide, take their away on holidays and trips alone, make their feel they have the same quality of life as their peers, dont let them miss out on experiences other have, even tho they are single provide Christmas for their ...They conscienciously and happily spend all of their weekends with their to the detriment of their own social and dating lives...
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Under the Thong....
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Posted:Jan 23, 2009 3:50 am
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2009 7:52 am
1851 Views
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"You made me really let go, uninhibited...hard, warm, engrossing, completely taken away with you to a completely different level..After you sex is just not going to be the same...You are a very special lass Marianne"
I appreciated Pauls opinion even more cos hes a mature man who has been an active swinger for some years..so he knows his sex...
MENS top 10 desired female sexual attributes:
Randomly:
**** A clit the size of a small cock that sticks out erect
**** Squirting freely and heavily
**** Cumming like a man, thick, white and spraying
**** Big tits
**** Phat bubble bum
**** Multi-orgasmic into double figures
**** Cums with oral
**** Stamina of a ..unlike any woman previously
**** Anal/DP
**** A Pussy that is tight, juicy, feels like a Dyson
**** Mouth that sucks like a Dyson
**** Insatiable
**** Swallows cum
**** Bisexual..eats pussy
You may have noticed theres more than 10 listed of the things you need to have and offer men as a woman..and im sure there are those I have left out aswell...
WOMENS top 10 desired male sexual attributes:
Randomly:
**** He Turns up!
**** A nice cock of the right size that functions well
**** Stamina and repeats
**** A cute face
**** A fit body
**** A cute bum
**** Knows how to use cock and tongue to produce orgasms
**** An ability to make a woman squirt (very hard to find)
**** A nice person
You may have noticed a slight imbalance in female sexual requirements compared to the mens!...and I ran out of things to list as I only got to 9 and then i was struggling!!!! Most of those things/skills are easily achievable and deliverable...and many are personal characteristics anyway..
Just goes to show how much more is expected from women sexually by men...they tirelessly seek women who supercede sexually the previous ones...
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Humanitarian Leader in Da White House...
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Posted:Jan 21, 2009 4:01 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2009 5:28 am
1799 Views
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A man to inspire and empower all of us...thank god for that!
Just when the US looked like a tired old last-century has-been regressing and terminally ill within its narrow straight jacket of religion, bigotry, conservative moralism, republican values, ecological blindness, war mongering, ecomonomic disaster, disenfranchisement of the poor and black people.. basically a recipe for digging its own grave globally...Somehow or other the white liberal democrats of America didnt see colour as an obstacle when they voted and glimpsed a new phenomenum, a black US leader, a man of substance who would amalgamate and unite the democrats, capture the disillusioned republican and floating voters, represent the hopes of the poor and make the vote of black people really count...See what you can do with the inclusive nature of socialism...46% of Americans voted for President Obama and I wonder how many of those usually didnt bother to vote as they felt disaffiliated from society and their views unheard and unrepresented by politicians...
Out with the turgid politics of repression and force even tho Obama is centrist and I imagine he will be walking carefully over hot coals until he gets some major changes enacted quietly...
He represents the diversity intrinsic in the ethnic mix of peoples within the US...all that potential waiting to come to fruition with the right encouragement...The ideal of the American Dream and he 'had a dream' this young, professional, educated, intelligent, goodlooking and black charismatic leader...a shining very visible role model to all black men and women everywhere... black culture was already in ascendancy and will reach even greater heights now ...Because the improbable the impossible the inconceivable has just happened...The most powerful man in the world is a black man...
The weight of history, slavery, repression, white violence, rascism, all because a man was black has begun to be overcome...
God Bless him and the new America..
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Fuckability ...
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Posted:Jan 20, 2009 6:47 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2009 2:32 am
1927 Views
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Certainly Barak has it!! Not in the least because of his election tho...US Presidents havent ever been sexy men until now...men in power also dont do it for me...Man Its your sweetness Im thinking of!
However my real subject in this blog is What Makes One Man A Better Fuck Than Another...as we ARE in the sexual Olympics here..I thought Id offer my very experienced female personal opinion and maybe help some men to understand the differences between what may be considered an average sexual encounter albeit better on this site than in the vanilla world ...the bar is constantly being raised...and great sex!!
I think the similarities in male sex are more striking than the differences...Ive done my research... So to stand out is even more important and difficult for the guys...The differences being in subtleties in skills, personal interpretation of the basic manuoevres and mental attitude rather than huge variations on the basic theme....Men always imagine other men will be better than them sexually or they think they are the best! I dont think it occurs to them that sexually men are pretty uniform...And I think that not because I havent met YOU yet!!!!
The plethora of cocks on this site...just indicates to me theres a lot of misinterpretation of sex by men...your cock will be the ultimate thing I shall be interested in and that will be at the point of penetration!! Up until then theres a hell of lot of other factors you need to make work for you to get to the joy of penetrating pussy!
Women need a reason to have sex men only need a location...oh so true...
How to stand out?
REALISE its your personality that counts the most...and acknowledge that what you do from the very start of your contact with a woman will influence the sexual outcome...the mental connection and your ability to communicate in a chatty lighthearted way with a woman and make her laugh is really important...for me thats from the very first email and then later whether it occurs during the first phone call...I can actually visualise on the phone whether I wish that man to kiss me and whether I wish him to be inches away from my face...and what I find fascinating and intriguing about that is that I havent seen these men in the flesh at that point but mentally im responding to them sexually or not as the case may be....My mouth fills up with saliva on the phone if im interested in them....Your physique comes as a secondary factor, if you are fit thats great and your approach to women should be relaxed, warm, empathetic and consistent....keep in touch by phone as theres a lot of men in the arena.....
It may seem obvious but on the date/meet do dress up yourself and make your date feel desired and take an interest in her appearance and wellbeing during the date...Ive had a sex partner who didnt know how to compliment a woman on her appearance and took it as a sign of female insecurity for wanting it!....How mistaken is that! Devour her with your eyes...make her feel special...Despite knowing that sex will take place dont eliminate all the important flirtation and foreplay...Lust can be present and built into NSA sex...
Pay Attention to Foreplay....This is the important bit...Never rush the kissing, breast sucking, massaging, back and front, with hands tongue and your entire body, undressing her yourself slowly, (noone has done that here to me) covering her entire body with stimulation...Remember how you made love to a woman when you were in love and reenact it...bring those feelings to the NSA sex...dont forget all the tenderness, the softness, the intimacies that great sex has!! Make sure your touch is as soft and gentle as possible... Rough touching is one of my instant turn offs...I know this all sounds very very basic but I can assure you I havent met any men from this site who actually spent the time they should on the foreplay and there has been an incredible lack of foreplay with some lovers who had none whatsoever...! Those were the men who went from me giving them oral endlessly to penetration immediately...tut tut! Schoolboy error!
Defer touching her pussy with your fingers, tongue or cock until she is dripping with juice and begs you to fuck her and she will be desperate for you by this point!
So a few hours (!) later you will get to the Oral!! Giving oral to the woman first...I prefer one at a time oral rather than 69...I can concentrate on giving and receiving better like that...Once youve prepared her properly putting your tongue on her clit should be explosive...Lick her outer and inner labia...make her clit really really wet...put your tongue and finger gently on her clit at the same time...thats s e n s a t i o n a l!!!!
The true Black accomplished oral lovers have been few...and they demonstrate themselves in several ways...They can make a woman cum with it...and pretty quickly too...not going on forever with no results...if its not working for you do something else...I had one lover who insisted he had to have a certain amount of time on oral and any less wasnt going to be satisfactory! What each individual woman wants should be the yardstick...
Secondly a true oral lover goes down on you, over and over and over during sex, interchanging oral and penetrative sex, finding more and more orgasms as he goes...He wont be asking you to jump up and wash between each session cos he loves the taste of your sex and juices intermingling as sex progresses...He never lets your pussy be away from his face for very long! The woman will slide up and down your face and head like a ski slope!! He emerges with a white cum beard! Obviously women need to be scrupulously clean and freshly washed prior to sex...
Avoid putting your fingers in her pussy during oral...until she begs you to fuck her with your cock...make that pussy cock and sensation hungry...rub and tease her with your cock all over her face and body but until that point you havent penetrated her with anything and so she will be truly longing for it...
Good oral is rare...its exquisite and excrutiatingly sensational, so the lovers who can do it well are my favourites....Ive encountered even fewer men who could manually stimulate my clit to orgasm...Sex without oral from the man would be without a major element of pleasure...and those who just do a bit as a token gesture...just dont really impress!
Size of cock...i have to mention this...as all men seem obsessed with the question...size matters to some women and not to others...is the real answer..Not every penny fits the slot...but men with smaller cocks probably get anal more!
To me its not only size, 8 or 9 inches being my ideal, but shape, suckability, responsiveness, erections, hardness, repeating ability, willingness to orgasm, ability to stay hard, knowing how to use it considerately if the guy is very big, stamina and understanding when enough is enough, cleanliness and using condoms...and I love big cummers...spraying everywhere...some men train themselves not to cum but I am not satisfied fully unless Ive made my sex partner cum either from oral or penetrative sex...I like to see him cum loudly and hard in my mouth, over my face or over my tits and arse...
Blow jobs...Dont expect women to know how to suck your cock well...Every man Ive ever asked about sucking his cock better has always said "I dont know...whatever you want to do is fine...the women just do it...Im not sure what they do"...Men tell me its hard to find a good blowjob...I can see why!!
Many women would be happy to be talked through the details of pleasurable responses to cocksucking and then they would know exactly how to do it and see the man cum...
Its one of my specialities!
Black guys do love missionary and doggie ...I like all positions especially those in full skin to skin contact and some more than others but I think its important to try as many as possible...to see which ones go down better than others...and I love to alter sexual positions frequently during sex according to when and how I need more stimulation...I had one lover who was an imposing 6ft 7" tall and with a 10 inch cock...and he had a sexual technique which involved holding me down firmly in missionary position and no matter how much i indicated i wanted to move and change position he wouldnt let me do so...we werent sexually compatible!
I hope some of my fuckability advice may be helpful or at least entertaining!
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Offer me more than your cock!
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Posted:Jan 15, 2009 4:21 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2009 10:59 am
1794 Views
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Beautiful as that is too!! Just a quick reminder about who and how I am interested in meeting as I am getting a lot of mail since the New Year...
**** UNATTACHED SINGLE MEN ONLY
**** BLACK MEN between 25 and 48 Educated and professional
**** DATES ONLY No quickies or one off shags OR sex taster sessions offered
**** BEFRIEND ME I am not a free sex service
**** IAM LOOKING FOR A FUCK BUDDY/FUN DATES OUT/BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
**** TOTAL HONESTY GIVEN AND EXPECTED
**** NON RETURNABLE DEPOSIT! ..A SENSE OF HUMOUR ESSENTIAL...
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Sensual Gangbang...
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Posted:Jan 14, 2009 9:49 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2009 2:52 pm
1919 Views
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Contradiction in terms perhaps???? Well this is what I am hoping to find in 2009...
I have experimented with group sex in 2008 and know what I like for an MFF and had a few group sex encounters at swinging clubs...
Ive learned that the more you know the sexual participants in the group the better the sex will be...and the groups dynamic...I think MMMFF is probably the best combination to have...But the groups I experienced still felt a little like separate individuals who swapped around for 1 on 1s rather than a well organised fully physical and sexually engaged group...I have come to the conclusion its best if the men know each other as straight friends as they need to organise themselves sexually and creatively and move the women into positions that benefit everyone simultaneously...
Ive noticed in swinging environments men often leave it up to the women to direct them but frankly when you are being fucked well and in the orgasm zone which woman is capable of organising men aswell!! I know we are multi tasking multi orgasmic sex goddesses but hey theres a limit to my abilities!! Noone likes to be stopped in midflow by conversations or directions or anything actually which distracts from sexual pleasure...
I think the very best group sex for me would be with bisexual men...As Ive always wanted to be fully physical, kissing everyone, licking everyone, sandwiched between two black guys...mmmmmmmmmmmm everyone entwined and not able to tell where one person starts and the others end...Ive always wanted three way kissing...two cocks round my face, in my mouth...This very sensual sex I desire is probably why I havent found two men in anyone place to have a MMF that I fancy and who are bisexual...its hard to find bisexual black guys...
Group sex with straight males does mean theres a lot of standing back and not touching other males bodies and avoiding any genital contact and subsequently it does make for an awful lot of space and gaps between people and a reduction in pleasurable contact...One man at one end of the woman and another man at the other....
As a bisexual woman I now realise I am a crucial all round link in group sex...My sexual menu is extended by being into men and women...Straight woman are restricted to only FMM or FMMMs
The men all want FFM which must rate as one of mens number one fantasies..Men want to see women having sex together...eating each other out, kissing each other and I lick pussy and cock together during penetrative sex while they are fucking the girl...which is something I love to do and is really pleasurable.for everyone..I have actually found myself physically stuck underneath on occasion and not able to move or attract anyones attention that I needed to get out!!
The women have to be both totally bisexual for good group sex...not bicurious as so many seem to be..I have had group sex where I was the only female out of the two of us willing to go down and men in swinging club situations are reluctant to muff dive...
The coordination of the sex is important...Ive seen a white husband managing the sex which several black guys had with his wife at a club...He sat at her head, kept in physical touch with her..He then instructed the guys how to fuck her as they went along..as he obviously understood his womans needs and feelings and reactions during the gangbang without her words and he ensured she got only what she wanted and needed and no more than that and how she had it...this seemed to me like a really good way to experience a gangbang...
I am not into pounding sex to an inch of my life (altho I do like a bit just enough to gush with) which with very large cocks can border on pain...I like maximum 10" cocks ...So im looking for a sensual gangbang with 4 well endowed black guys...It would differ considerably from the normal type of gangbang as noone would be hanging around doing nothing much...or watching while others fucked...or just taking it in turns to pound hard...everyone would be involved continuously with all their hands on me and one man would give me oral or fuck me, while one would get a long gentle b/j, one would suck my nipples and the other would massage my body, stroke my hair, rub his cock all over me, move and lift my body onto the other guys...they would all kiss me all over and then swap around taking it in turns to do all these things, keeping up the momentum and with them all shooting their loads over me...
Any offers????
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Women Pressurising Men for Sex.!!!!..
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Posted:Jan 12, 2009 4:23 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2009 3:20 pm
1971 Views
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Seemed incredible to me in a swinging environment where sex is readily available to anyone who wants it...but I kept on hearing reports back from various men about the predatory and unscrupulous techniques used by some women to pressure men to have sex with them or their friends...These are middle aged white women and younger black men...in the interracial swinging scene...
Then I heard about a couple on the party scene who have been offering black men money in order to have sex with the wife...I hadnt realised pimping for was present ....Also if the couples sexual target for that night turned the wife down they would then enlist the help of prominent female members to try to "persuade" the man to have sex with the wife...
Predatory women at parties, I am told, sometimes wont take no for an answer when they expect the black guys to fuck them just because they want them to...
Some return over and over to the same guy on different occasions even tho the man has categorically said not interested previously...and when turned down politely...the women become insistent demanding Why not??? Verbally coercing...Usually the reason is because he never really fancied the women in the first place and just acquiesced on one occasion cos sex was being offered...but wouldnt wish to repeat the mistake!
If the men are not interested in full sex with the women they then offer the men b/js in order to have a sexual "hold" or knowledge of them to return to later....the thinking is maybe he will then have full sex the second time hes asked...and they have a greater lever on him because of it...
These women offer favours, other than sexual ones, like paying for the entrance to a club for a guy, or driving men to parties...and favours in everyday life aswell...anything which will get an interest and an ability to influence the men..which will hopefully translate into sex for them or their friends later...
Some female predators become so inflated with ego and carve positions of power and influence over so many men involved in the scene they forget that the men are individuals with their own right to control their sex lives, hold their own opinions and exert their own sexual choices...and to say NO..and be heard and respected for it....These women try to manipulate and control the men...as if they own them. Ive heard reports of women trying to persuade men not to have sex with other women they do not like...by offering their own sexual favours if they do not have sex with a particular person...Also these women try to have sex with every single black man in order to have their "hold" on all of them...and recommend their friends to the men after that...the loop of sexual ties and patronage is established...
One report I was told by a young man when he was staying at a womans house, in a platonic way...was particularly appalling...
An unknown female friend of the woman came round..The young man went up to his bedroom to change his clothes to go out..The womans friend followed him to his bedroom, knocked on the door, came in asked him if he would like sex with her...Well this guy finds large ladies totally physically offputting and unattractive and this lady was the size of Dawn French...He explained to me in very derisory terms how uncomfortable he felt by this situation...He said a polite no thankyou to the sex on offer...and that should of been the end of the matter ...the woman should have left...but NO...the woman wouldnt take no for an answer and pressurised the young man further...she then offered him a b/j...well he told me he felt he couldnt say no to a woman twice...raised to be polite and courteous to women and being young made that difficult..and that he very reluctantly had a very brief b/j against his will until he could make his excuses and run to get his train.....
This account was seriously alarming...If the sexual genders had been reversed and it was a man who wouldnt take No for an answer then it would certainly be considered a case of male sexual harrassment...and had the man gone on to sexually touch the woman after No was said the first time it could be even sexual assault...
Young men who first enter the scene are easy prey for these women. Not only do they often need a "helping hand" to make the first step across to swinging which the older women of course realise, they are also sexually impressionable and want to make their sexual mark in this highly matriarchical group context...So the men usually agree to have sex with anyone who offers it regardless of whether they actually fancy these women at all...later on, once established they start to be more discerning, assertive and confident in the scene and dont return to these women who probably would not have been their real sexual choice at all...
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Serious Contenders...
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Posted:Jan 10, 2009 5:59 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2009 5:56 am
1898 Views
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Ive met a few men from the site during the past two years...and whilst my tastes are still eclectic I have to say that my preference since summer 2007 has been for black men...Its not just sex...Its the best sex!!!!!!!!!!!
I love Nigerian and Ghanian men in particular...what sensational sensual lovers "the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice" and very sweet loving gentle people they are ...culturally very respectful, educated, highly intelligent and i am proud to be their friend...one day I would like to visit West Africa on holiday or with VSO...
However another group of men stand out as Serious Contenders ...and these go back to my roots...they are the Souf London Black Boyz...SLBB..
Surprisingly maybe, as this group have had a lot of bad press from the media and have been scapegoated because of it and dont get alot of credit ...
Well in my book and experience here they are coming out on top...The Souf London Black Boyz have many many qualities...They may not talk proper and speak a bit loiike thaaaaat but they sure know how to treat a lady...They are rough diamonds and little gems...and they take the piss out of me and my accent sumfink rotten..but I love to be teased! They take care of me...
I originate from South London, infact I was born in the very street, one of my favourite friends, ER, lives in...He has all the best qualities of the SLBBs...and typifies them...Massive heart which he wears on his sleeve, salt of the earth type of bloke, suffers no fools, knows his Manor well, can turn his hand to anything, not afraid of hard graft, streetwise, peoplewise, popular, loyal, would do a favour for anybody (but is no fool) goes out of his way to help others and is a perfect gentleman...Oh and did I mention sense of Humour!!!
He is cheeky, confident, dresses well, likes nice fings, a bit flash in a good stylish way, (good job ER you decided against the pink linen trousers and prince of wales check jacket that night) EXTREMELY funny and fun to be with, has a unique, wicked sense of observational humour, his impersonations of sex are hilarious, we laughed and laughed...
He is a gentleman through and through and as such he understands what a lady likes...Considerate, attentive, kind and generous with himself and money ....He wouldnt dream of economising on birds!!...like so many others have demonstrated on the site...He will happily drive and travel without complaining unlike many here...He appreciates the good things in people...and gives very sound advice...He told me I need to realise fully the effect and value of my femininity on men...I know what he means...
He kindly invited me to stay at his home even tho I was the first person to be invited there ...and we made an unlikely couple, Posh Bird and SLBB...but what a great nite out together and I am chuffed by our subsequent friendship...The sex was great too as hes not on the scene and he knows how to make love to a woman properly...He likes a good "nosh"...and thats not only the allday breakfast he cooked me!!..
And then theres another SLBB...
Mr Peckham epitomises all the same admirable solid and adorable qualities...Hes my Daddy...He looks out for me too...Hes always in touch...solid as a rock...When I chat to him I think I have slipped into another dimension...Im in an episode of Only Fools and Horses chatting to Delboy...I must be Rachel!!! Seriously MrP sounds EXACTLY like Delboy!! He also displays many Trotter mannerisms and traits...He runs several businesses...is a bit of a wheeler dealer...His bedroom is full of boxes of collectables to sell...Likes his bling...Lives to the full...Gives great advice and is killingly funny in everyway...He tells me I will need a visa to come to Peckham...my application is in the post Mr P!...
Mr P admires my blogs, thats how we first met...He doesnt know it yet but he is very talented himself...in writing, speaking and as a natural comedian...hes got raw talent...We laugh and laugh on the phone...I am not as funny as him, no where near...but he sets me off....He is funny with every word!
So any men who think they will mess me around on here watch out the Souf London mafia will get you!!
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So Michael what happened to you on the way to....
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Posted:Jan 8, 2009 6:16 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2020 11:41 am
2243 Views
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our date?????
I dont think the casual male or female observer of this site would have ANY idea about the frequency with which men disappear on the way to a date!! Ive been in the chat rooms a long time so Ive heard all about it from many women... Ive personally had men falling down the stairs, deaths of relatives, non fatal car accident on the way to my house...the men seem to be very accident prone...or even worse...they just vanish off the face of the planet, uncontactable suddenly by text or phone...
I needed a good date this weekend...to restore myself after the last few weeks and events on this site...and all was set..we promised to be really lovely together and have a great time for the whole weekend....until yesterday...the ominous silence arrived...
Michael was the rare individual I encounter infrequently on the site who actually related with me on an instantly lustful mentally stimulating and deeply relaxing way as people....we clicked very well...too well! He liked lots of very long phone convos, everyday, with lots of interesting subjects, not solely sexual, we sparked off each other and all looked great for us to meet...we were well matched in many ways..I was genuinely excited about meeting him as a person...
Until yesterday...when he became invisible..
This sort of thing has been happening since I joined the site especially in the first year of being on the open site before I realised it was endemic here and its characteristic of inexperienced men on the site, often young men, those in relationships, cammers and those who are fantasists only and just want photos, telephone convos, some personal company and/or sexual attention by phone for a short while...its very hard to spot them and therefore not indulge them...when they go through all the preliminaries prior to the date, want lots of chat to get to know each other as people, often not sexually really and they are totally credible in all details until that point of making final arrangements for the date...
I am always on the look out for fakes and phonies cos I can usually through experience notice the gaps in the way the convos are conducted to pick them out now...but Michael was goooood....He had me fooled..
If, as in Michaels case, we connected really well as people its seductively impossible to resist...and the let down feels more than disappointing rather than just an annoyance...on other occasions I would pick up the phone and make another date for Saturday night but I actually felt a real attraction for him on a different plain ... so in my mind hes not easy to find a replacement date for...
Hey ho another one bites the dust!
Lesbianism, as i swing both ways, is looking strangely more appealing...as i work my way through the men on the site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Miss Independance...
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Posted:Jan 7, 2009 3:15 am
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2009 3:40 am
1826 Views
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As the temperatures plummet it reminds me of how Ive been outside working as a professional gardener in 3 degrees farenheit during January for several years past ...5 layers of clothing and still chilled to the core at the end of the session...I loved my job in all its extremes of physicality!! Extreme summer heat harder to bear in reality...but that actually typifies for me one aspect of the level of independance that my female experience of single life has produced...
So when I hear about mens desire for independant women...it makes me consider what that means exactly...Do they mean emotionally independant? Financially independant? Living in separate houses? Semi detached? Women putting their careers before their men? How would female independance demonstrate itself?
Are the men themselves so independant from women upon closer scrutiny? Who picks up their pants off the bedroom floor? Who does 75% of all household chores? Who organises all the social, family events and makes Christmas happen? ...Just to name a few...Women provide the backbone of family life which afterall is the basis of stability, growth and harmony in our society...
If Miss Independance adopts mens message about the type of women they say they want and then doesnt or chooses not to in future, couple up with men and undertake having , making families and running them in favour of her career and independance ...then I am afraid men will be experiencing in future a lot more enforced independance of their own and solitary lives than before...be careful what you wish for!!
If men give the message to women they dont wish to have casual commitments like a girlfriend for example as so many young men in their early thirties I chat to say they havent got time for or inclination for any emotional involvement...thats fine as long as they realise it takes many years to find someone to love, establish a good relationship with then years more to reach a stage to have ...If they dont practice having girlfriends in their twenties and thirties they wont know how to have a proper relationship when they decide to ....girlfriends are the training ground..leave it until you are approaching 40 and its all so much more difficult to find...the ball game suddenly changes...
Ive been independant through choice and circumstances for the larger part of my adult life...Ive lived as a single woman abroad and in the UK since I was 18 ...Financially independant, I own my home, manage my own business, run my family...independance is overrated...much more can be achieved with two people working harmoniously together...
I consider single parenthood as the pinnacle of female independance...the personal qualities needed for it are far far in excess of those women in good two parenting situations require ever...It puts you on the line!
So I think Ive earned my Miss Independance stripes now let me have some total dependence please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The man Im looking for will have superceded all notions of who does what, who earns what and how independant each of us is...teamwork and mutual understanding is everything...Its not a competition...
I always think of him like this ...He will feel like my favourite pair of old slippers, be like an armchair to rest in and have a swimming pool of a personality and mind big enough for me to swim around in...
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No Means NO.....
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Posted:Jan 4, 2009 8:16 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 4:34 am
1848 Views
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The beginning of 2009 brought me a timely reminder that its not all roses in the swinging garden...Women really do have to take such great care and precautions about who they meet off the internet, how they meet them and dont take men purely at face value...Spending time checking out as far as possible the men for safety and suitability is an important aspect before allowing anyone into your bed...your home or your personal space...
I started on the site two years ago very very cautiously. I still take measures to know as much as I can about the men before a date...Thats one reason why women should chat to men a lot before meeting you and ask as many personal questions as possible...I am aware that when it comes to sex mens usual behaviour and conduct can change dramatically and seemingly pleasant rational men could be hiding a sexual deviancy or dangerous sexual psychology...
As a swinger I have seen men undergo personality changes at swinging clubs..previously displaying reliable gentlemanly behaviour, considerate, kind and concerned, attentive to their date transform into rude, aggressive, bullying, nervous, cold, uncooperative, dismissive, uncommunicative and blinkered behaviour towards the date... a complete transformation...all because sex is on offer..so the person you set out with for the evening isnt recognisable anymore...
My NYE date was known to me, known to mutual acquaintances, educated, good job, loving father, to all purposes a respectable and respectful person and he promised to be an excellent choice for a good nite out together...I said I felt in good hands and we were both excited about meeting each other...
On the way to the party I felt a slight shift occur in his attitude towards me..more business like, impersonal less warm..He arranged to meet a friend of his en route to the party just to say hello...He explained the friend wanted to see me...After meeting briefly for a chat he said his friend would like to have sex with me...I said I wasnt interested in anyone but him tonight and No I dont want to fuck your friend...I also explained how selective I am and I need to feel attraction to the man before I have sex with anyone...I do not have sex with any black man cos hes black...far from it...This was all made clear...
After the party at 4 am we made our way to a friends of his house to crash for a few hours sleep...The place was extremely tatty in a rundown part of London...I needed to sleep so I thought okay its not ideal but Im with someone who i like and trust...soon after arriving he started to text and call the friend we had met earlier in the evening...He told him to come over...I insisted I wasnt interested in his friend...He ignored what I said, insisted he wanted me to have sex with his friend... I began to feel anxious about my situation...the man would not listen to what I said...the friend arrived about 5 am my date told him to get undressed, get into the bed...I was getting very concerned realising the situation could be extremely dangerous to me but somehow remained calm but firm in my communication...I told his friend I was not interested in him, to take his freezing cold hands off me and go away...the date witheld sex from me so I would comply with his order to have sex with his friend...He was evidently angry with me for not having sex with his friend ...after much verbal pressuring from the man I went on the date with and refusals from me the other man eventually after 2 hours got dressed again and went away...I felt totally scared by the situation I had inadvertently exposed myself to...I could have been , gangbanged or any other dreadful scenario...
A timely wakeup call for me as 2009 started in the worse set of circumstances I could imagine...
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Beauty....
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Posted:Dec 28, 2008 11:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2008 4:58 am
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....Beauty is only skin deep...Beauty is as beauty does....Beauty is shallow...
We have lots of phrases to put beauty in its place in England...and ive discovered an British cultural mistrust and suspicion of external good looks...not only on a personal level but in lots of attitudes and comments expressed to me by men on the site..and I perceive it in general society and how we view "beautiful people" in the media...
When the best dancer by far Rachel Stevens doesnt win Strictly cum dancing and when the second best dancer Lisa Snowden doesnt either...both happening to be very very beautiful women aswell as excellent dancers I just nod in sad understanding as the female viewers voted for the guy instead...
Ive spent most of my adult life being a little mouse of a woman..not dressing up to highlight my figure, not wishing to stand out in a crowd, dressing like so many women in this country all covered up in trousers and unisex type clothing not wishing to look sexual..wearing my hair in a short boyish style ...practical things really to suit a practical lifestyle..Theres a physical unease about getting our flesh out in public in Britain...apparently its considered tarty to expose your tits and legs at the same time on an evening out..so Im told by my hairdressers!!(I darent tell them what I wear out and where I go!) Anyway looking sexy wasnt a priority... I was a student, feminist, career girl and then wife and mother...I was always considered pretty not beautiful..During those years i didnt solicit much female animosity towards me and Ive always had very close female friends....It was only when I recently transformed myself into a highly visible deliciously glamourous woman that I noticed the sudden change in females reactions to me...and it was instantaneously tangible...everywhere I go and its unpleasant to experience..
The British mistrust good looking people...they attribute attitudes to them...if you are good looking then you cant be a nice person aswell..Its obvious!!!! Isnt it??? How could someone good looking actually have a nice personality aswell ??? The two dont go together in the British mind...you must be vain and self centred and selfish and self obsessed and precious and high maintenance and spoilt and SHALLOW and superficial and thick... if you have beauty...I have heard those views expressed over and over by men on the site, readily reiterated by women and those women without conventionally recognised looks are attributed by men with being "nice people" instead...automatically...without any substance to the judgement!! Im told plain women are more willing to please men cos they attract fewer and have to work harder at it and have to develop their personalities.....
So being plain means you are a nice person and must have inner beauty and being externally beautiful means you must be flawed...thats how it goes in Britain...Which would you rather be?
I say Britain cos in Italy where I spent much of my late teenage years (lucky me) theres no such idea...or ambiguity about external beauty and internal beauty...as a nation they are totally comfortable with beauty...and value it and admire it, cultivate it and dont feel jealous of others with it...infact women and men are expected to aspire to look sensational and beautiful and they dont diss anybody for having good looks or consider them "not nice people" because they are...The fact they are a very beautiful nation of men and women helps...Life is enriched in Italy because of their love of beauty and the same applies to sexuality aswell...My Italian friends are incredulous that I have to resort to the internet to find men...In Italy it would be so easy...just walk down the street, do la passegiata in piazza, have a coffee, go shopping, eat lunch at a restaurant...Italian men waste no opportunity to chat to pretty women and arrange a date....
In British eyes its considered shallow to concentrate on external looks...!!! Shallow.. what does that mean??? We all spend a lot of time making sure our appearances are as good as we can make them...Women spend much of their lives doing it!! First impressions count...Beauty in many instances and circumstances is actually only required to be purely skin deep...The British dont understand their own personal physical attractiveness or rate it ...They carry insecurity about their physical selves...Men have no assessment of their own physical appearance, of what makes one man attractive to women as opposed to another nor any objective opinion of other mens attractivness...
Its not the done thing to come out and say Im beautiful...or I am considered beautiful...you have to pretend in Britain that you are not aware of possessing it...otherwise you would be considered conceited, arrogant, up yourself and unattractive as a person!! How pathetic is that!
Being pretty brings no additional benefits to the owner...women wont befriend you...wont invite you into their home to meet their family or husband..wont want you around them...wont see the real person inside of you only the outer skin...make snide comments to you...before you even get to the active bitching..and character assassinations which people are more likely to believe cos you are pretty...One of my admirers was told by a female who noticed him watching me avidly "Shes very pretty isnt she...but shes not a nice person"...and then spent the evening describing why!!! He was only deterred from her...
Men attribute characteristics to pretty women...such as she must be in great demand cos of her looks...she must be able to pick and choose men and the men self eliminate themselves at that point...she wouldnt be interested in me...they feel intimidated by very attractive women..they assume you must have everything you want in life..the number of times Ive heard men on the site say there must be a queue of men for me!!! If only! They dont believe it even when I tell them its not true...
Well for me external beauty is a reflection of internal beauty and internal beauty shines through...Its osmosis...
My own personal definition of true Beauty would be a state of mind and being... feeling safe, secure, cherished and loved in my life and see my beauty reflected in my lovers eyes....
Now that would be beautiful...
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The Argentine Tango
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Posted:Dec 16, 2008 1:38 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2009 9:03 am
1938 Views
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I am an enormous Strictly Cum Dancing fan as I adore dancing ...and love the dresses the women wear..infact I must find a dress like Racheal Stevens wore for her burning a hole in the floor Tango last Saturday night...the plunging back almost to the curve of her bottom, the black lace sleeves, the diamante collar and cuffs...OMG I must have one like that..
On occasion Ive made myself cum just by dancing alone without touching myself at all just from good pelvic muscle control...but thats another story..
I think one of the hardest facets of being a sexually active woman in England is actually intergrating that into ones everyday life, living it visibly for everyone to see, oozing sexuality from every pore, dressing to convey it and creating moments and situations of great excitement and pleasure and erotic intensity...dance captures all of that in its expression...
I wish to learn the Argentine Tango, infact any of the Latin dances, so if theres anyone who can dance it or would like to teach me, do get in touch...Or if you want to go to a Salsa club in London with me let me know...If you are Latin American or Afro Caribbean or Italian even better...I wanna do those guanchos!!..
I have the attitude, spirit, style, Latin looks, long long legs and passion necessary for this dance...
Peace and Love
Mari xx
Purely coincidentally, I was out partying on NYE and thats the second time someone has said to me you look just like Karen Hardy...one of the professional dancers on Strictly Cum Dancing...
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