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I just need to vent. I received an email here from someone I have never had any kind of contact with that really upset me today. First, he called me honey. I am NOT his honey. Second, he told me black men don't listen to CCR, Bob Seger, and the Eagles, so I should stick top my own race. He told me not to make a mistake that would embarrass my family by dating outside of my race. WHO THE HELL IS HE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?? WHO IS HE TO TELL ME WHO TO DATE AND WHO NOT TO??? I have no idea who this person is, but he is obviously an asshole. It is white men like him who make me enjoy the company of black men all the more! Thanks for letting me vent. By the way, he was immediately blocked.
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People
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Posted:Dec 9, 2010 9:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2011 2:40 am
2514 Views
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I am absolutely appalled at the "human" race today. No one has any consideration for anyone but themselves anymore. Just go shopping! They just stop, take 10 minutes to figure out what kind of shampoo to buy. All the while blocking the whole damn isle so no one else can go anywhere. Then they look at you like you are invading their space! I stop to let an old man cross--IN THE CROSSWALK--and the guy behind me is beeping for me to go! You send 2 Thanksgiving e-cards to someone--know they have received and read them--and don't even get a "thank you". Mom was so right--actions speak so much louder than words ever could. "Friends" you don't get a text from for weeks. It doesn't take all that long to text someone to say "Good morning" or "How are you doing?". Maybe 30 seconds. Just might make someone's day. Make them smile. Guess it's not worth your prercious time. Absolutely amazing how wrapped up in themselves and their tiny world people are. Step outside that world--JUST ONCE. Might make someone's day. Their week. Put a smile on their face to know you are thinking of them and you cared enough to be bothered to send a quick text. People are absolutely amazing. And it only seems to get worse. I am just floored at the complete lack of consideration some people have. No wonder why I become more secluded every day.
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Boiling point
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Posted:Nov 26, 2010 3:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2013 2:47 pm
2474 Views
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Every now and then in life you reach the point where you realize some things and, more importantly, some people just aren't worth the pain inflicted.
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So true
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Posted:Nov 7, 2010 9:07 am
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2010 4:13 pm
2310 Views
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Nobody is worth your tears and the one who is would never make you cry!!! Saw that somewhere and it makes perfect sense to me. It is so true-- the one who is worthy of my tears would never make me cry in the first place. That simple truth has awakened me emotionally. NOBODY is worth my tears. NOBODY. If they are, they wouldn't make me shed a single tear. It's amazing how you can strain your brain trying to come up with reasons why someone did something or how they can be so callous and uncaring--then you hear something simple that makes so much sense. So simple, yet so true. Just not worth the salt in my tears. No more. Never again.
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Shocking to realize
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Posted:Oct 16, 2010 6:04 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2010 10:27 am
2576 Views
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Going through my messenger list and contacts in my phone, it is totally shocking as to who matters and who doesn't anymore--or never did. There is maybe one person on my messenger list I care about. One. The rest are just there. Couldn't care less if I ever hear from them again. I do not even know who some are!!! Started deleting. Same way with my phone. It's shocking to me who matters, who doesn't anymore, and who never did, or never should have. I guess there is a reason why they are not part of my life now. Maybe they never should have been part of my life. Growing experience maybe. If I haven't heard from the in a while--knowing they are online--then maybe they should be deleted. Doesn't take long to send an IM saying "Hi". If I'm not worth the time it takes to say "hi, how are you?", screw. They aren't worth it either. Not wasting my time--or my emotions. Delete, delete, delete.
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"friends"
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Posted:Sep 24, 2010 2:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2010 4:34 pm
2281 Views
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I am amazed at what some people call being "friends". On here every day, but can't find time in the busy schedule to text you, email you, phone you just to see how you're doing for weeks on end. Guess you're wellbeing and/or friendship isn't all that important to them. Come over and help you move a couch and expect a piece of ass. Not like he got it. Or ever will at this point. But knowing someone for quite a few years and nothing??? It doesn't take all that long to text someone to let them know you are thinking of them. Really not that difficult, Especially if they have time to be on here everyday. Obviously they have time for that. Doesn't make you feel all that important. Not important at all. I have my phone with me at all times. Can get textes, emails, and calls. How difficult is it to let someone know you care??? Just might make someone's day. Take the time to say "Hello", "How's it going?" Take a few precious moments out of your oh so important life. Think of someone other than yourself once in a while. Might just do you some good, too.
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Very good advise
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Posted:Sep 24, 2010 4:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:8 pm
2111 Views
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"Don't worry about people in your past. There's a reason they didn't make it to your future!!!" A friend of mine told me that, and how true it is! Never really thought of it that way until he said it. Very wise man.
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Done!
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Posted:Jun 23, 2010 6:55 pm
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2013 2:46 pm
2972 Views
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I think I'm pretty much done. The guys I have met here lately have NO IDEA what a gentleman is. It's amazing. They think I'm going to invite them to my place to "fuck" without even meeting them first??? Are they insane??? They don't even have an iceberg's chance in hell with me. The one man i did meet and fall in love with from this site has done nothing but lie to me for almost 3 years. Started the day we met. The day we met, he told me he would be divorced within 6 months. That was almost 3 years ago and he is still married. He says he STEP needs his health insurance. BULLSHIT!!! Let her MOTHER provide health insurance. Hell, she's 21. Let her get a job and get it for herself. What a crock of shit. He just wants a piece of ass waiting wherever his job takes him. And he's out in California for a week "visiting his and working". Another crock. He may be visiting his and possibly working, but he is with his WIFE as well. When I asked if he was going to get divorced while out there, he emphatically said no. I may not be here when he gets back and I told him that. He never texted me back. Didn't care or too busy with his wife, I guess. Why should I be here for him? He is just using me. I never really saw it until a couple months ago. I never wanted to. Now I find it so hard to believe anything he says. I guess there's really nothing left. The sex is definitely not as good as it once was. The feelings are gone. He was never my "most greatest" lover, but being in love with him made the sex that much better. Now, it's not. All that's left are his lies and my jealousy. I was never jealous until I caught him cheating. That broke it all to hell for me. It's time I move on. So why am I finding it so hard to finally end it? I have a million times in my head, just can't bring myself to actually do it. WHY??? Could I be that desperate???Do I have that little self-esteem??? Find an honest man. That is so hard to find these days. I truly believe everyone lies now. I don't believe anyone anymore. I used to and all it got me was hurt. There's no point anymore. I am a very open and honest person and I expect the same from people in my life. Just so hard to find an HONEST GENTLEMAN these days. This site is probably not the place for me. I understand it is a sex site, but guys can be gentlemen about it. Treat me with the respect I deserve. Is that really too much to ask for? The quality of people has gone downhill. There are a few decent people, but they are far and few between--just like in all aspects of life. And if that's the case, then what's the point? There is none. Not anymore.
I lost my job about a month and a half ago. I am down to my last $100.00 and obviously won't be able to cover the rent. Unemployment doesn't even cover the rent each month--never mind the other bills. The way I see it, I have 3 choices. Be homeless and live out of my car. Move down to Florida and live off my brother until I find a job. Or suicide. Living in my car is a last resort. If I move with my brother, 95% of my possessions will end up in the dumpster because all I have is a car to move with. And I will never see him again. There is no Naval base near where my brother lives and God knows he would never be bothered to make the effort. I'm not worth it. Maybe that would be a good thing. A new start without him. However, there's always the wonderful thing called technology. How can I get over him completely if I see him every day online. He has told me twice he has deleted his profile here. Another lie. I HATE technology. HATE IT!!! I wish there was never anything like it. I would have never met him. Never caught him with other women. Of course, if he didn't want to get caught, he should have never left such wonderful testimonials about them for me to find. "Google, baby, google". That was the beginning of the end.
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My handsome man
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Posted:Jun 15, 2010 4:30 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2011 10:50 am
3098 Views
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I finally had to do it this morning. I euthanized Oreo, "my handsome man". His health was quickly deteriorating and I didn't want him to suffer. He wouldn't eat all weekend. 4 days. I tried everything. Baby food, tuna, cheese, chicken breast. Nothing. He was hiding the whole weekend. Wouldn't even come down to see someone who stopped by. Wouldn't sleep with me. After 17 years it was an extremely difficult decision to make. But I loved him enough to make it. All I feel is alone. I still have Emma--my 4 year old, one-eyed Peke--but I miss Oreo--terribly. My home feels empty. So does my heart.
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Time for a change?
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Posted:Jun 11, 2010 2:49 am
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2010 2:19 pm
2990 Views
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I'm thinking it might be time for some major changes in my life. Start completely all over. My life has pretty much hit rock bottom. Personally, financially, occupationally. Rock bottom in all aspects of my life. Obviously I'm doing something terribly wrong. Not sure what, but it's painfully obvious to me I am. So, maybe it's time to change up everything. Start from scratch. Get rid of people in my life that just aren't worth it anymore. That just bring me down and make me feel like a worthless piece of shit. The bad definitely outweighs the good. Find some good people to have in my life. Only people who bring me up, not down. Maybe just pack my car with what will fit, grab my and cat and go. I could go to Florida or North Dakota. Have people in both places that would let me crash on their couch until I get back on my feet. Hell, I have even considered going to church. I figure it can't hurt. I don't know. All I know is this life just isn't working for me anymore.
"Cause what I'm doing must be wrong,
Pouring my heart and inner song.
Owning up for prosperity, for the whole damn world to see.
Quietly now, while I leave the stage.
Act one is over,
without costume change.
The principle would like to leave the stage.
The crowd don't understand."
-- "I Was Only Joking" by Rod Stewart
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Childhood dreams
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Posted:Jun 8, 2010 10:23 am
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2010 6:08 am
2457 Views
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Whatever happened to childhood dreams? My life is NOWHERE I thought it would be. I always thought I would get married (no ), have a house, a husband who loved me, have maybe a farm with a bunch of animals. I pictured my husband loving me like no other. A lot like Joe DiMaggio loved Marilyn Monroe. Every year on her birthday and death day, he would go to her grave and leave flowers. No man will ever love me like that. I will never find that. I will never have a farm. Hell, I will never marry. What the hell happened? What did I do so damn wrong? I can't figure out why I have been so cursed (for lack of a better word). Just can't figure it out. All I have ever wanted is a man who loves me--AND ONLY ME. Someone who will love me for me. Someone who TELLS me they love me--not just in words. Someone who will be there to listen. And someone I can do the same for. That's all I have ever hoped for, dreamed of, and prayed for. Life isn't worth living alone.
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Quality of people
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Posted:Jun 6, 2010 12:33 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:41 pm
2686 Views
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Am I the only one who has noticed such a decline in the quality of people--not only here, but everywhere? I am shocked by the lack of consideration for others, some people's behavior, and their self-centeredness. There is such a lack of respect for others today. Some of the emails I receive are disgusting. Obviously, they don't even bother to take the time to read my profile. It doesn't take that long. It's not War and Peace. It states CLEARLY what I am looking for and what I am not. I believe no man understands what it means to be a gentleman anymore.
When I first joined this site (1/05), there seemed to be many more decent people. I met quite a few genuinely nice guys. I met the greatest lover I have ever had. We were "buddys" for about 4 1/2 years, until he moved. My pleasures, my desires, my needs, my wants were always his first concern. Anything I wanted, he was more than willing to provide. He knew he would get more than he could handle from me because of it. He knew he would be satisfied if I was. This man was incredible!!! Not only did he know how to treat a lady with respect, but he knew how to satisfy her in bed. Whatever happened to that kind of man? Whatever happened to a man who knows how be a gentleman? Knows how to treat a lady right? I am more than willing to give a man what he wants, as long as he treats me right? Why does this seem so damn difficult to find? I just don't get it. I'm so sick of people at this point.
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Friends of friends
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Posted:Jun 1, 2010 4:57 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2010 6:09 am
2896 Views
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I've been thinking about this for a while. If someone in your life and on here has added some friends that you found repulsive, would you want anything to do wityh them anymore? Their profiles, their language, what they are looking for, their testimonials. Definitely NOT ladies. Disgusting sluts. I would think his standards must really be dropping off. He has obviously been the one to invite them since he is a gold member, they are standard members. If that is the kind of "person" he wants in his life and in his bed, that's fine--for him. If those are the kind of people he is inviting into his life in any capacity, then maybe I don't want to invite him into mine. My mother always said: "You're known by the friends you keep." It's true. Having those kinds of friends says something about that person. And I'm not so sure I like what it's saying. His standards have definitely taken a huge decline if those are now his friends. I know there is a difference between real life friends and online friends, but when you know for a fact they have slept with 2, "met" another, the odds are pretty good, especially when there are only 5. And one of the two he slept with spread it all over her profile how good he was. The one he "met" left a wonderful testimonial on another website. Things that make you go HHHMMM!!!
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People are fucking insane!!!
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Posted:May 25, 2010 6:13 pm
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2010 5:08 am
2851 Views
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There are some really fucked up people in the world! A good "friend" of mine, a man, showed up at my door Saturday evening and told me he has been lying to me throughout our 5 year friendship. (And for the record, I Said FRIENDSHIP. There was never anything sexual or romantic between us--not that he didn't try)He told me he was married with . This is after 5 years of telling me he wasn't and didn't have because he never wanted them. This comes from a guy I trusted enough to give my house key to. To walk my dog (MY ). To set up my computer. He would fix my vacuum when I broke it. All kinds of shit--when I was home or when I wasn't. He borrowed money. Now it turns out he was hiding a secret bank account from his wife. Spending money on hotels for other women. His wife walked in and caught him with another woman--NOT ME. But, his wife is a fucked up as he is. Even though she has caught him with "14-15" other women, found all his secret bank accounts and cell phones, found him on sex/dating websites (including this one)--SHE WANTS TO TRY TO SALVAGE THE MARRIAGE!!! What marriage?????? They deserve each other. They are both FUCKED UP!!! His wife and I had a long conversation (via instant messenger since she has changed all his passwords). I told her to give him the boot. When she said she wanted to work it out, I told her "Be my guest". What kind of woman would want a man like that??? Obviously a very desperate one. Yes, I have my key back. They deserve each other. I told him he didn't lose me and our friendship by being married or having . He lost it by lying.
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