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Happy 15th?
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Posted:Apr 15, 2010 6:07 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2010 7:45 pm
3301 Views
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Woah, a depressing day for holidays.
Tax Day
Income Tax Pay Day
National High Five Day (ok, this one isn't bad)
National That Sucks Day
Anniversary - Titanic Sinking
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Do you have sex on the brain?
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Posted:Mar 28, 2010 6:42 am
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2010 5:17 pm
3517 Views
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I was out perusing websites and came across this interesting tidbit from the Kinsey Institute.
"54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month."
"19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month."
I bet the majority of us on this site are in the higher percentage for each group. What do you think?
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Motiviation to excercise
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Posted:Mar 26, 2010 3:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 8:10 am
3084 Views
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Ok, no more excuses, winters, over, weathers turning nice, spare tire is 10lbs more... gotta get back out and get back into shape. Started yesterday by getting a haircut... that I'll count as an ounce off. Yeah!!!
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Off we go, into the wild blue Yonder
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Posted:Mar 24, 2010 3:50 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 8:10 am
3082 Views
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Just wanted to express my appreciation to the USO (United Service Organization) and other organizations that give their time to helping active duty military and Veterans. Most of the good deeds seldom get noticed as these usually take a side line to the violent portions.
So if any of you served in the military, volunteered services, or have just shared your appreciation in some small way, A thank you to you.
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Howdy Friends!
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Posted:Aug 8, 2008 9:43 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 8:10 am
3150 Views
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Hello friends, Hope all is well with you. A special hello to those recent invites. I'm in the group OKC and surrounding areas a lot so stop in and say hello..Best wishes....
Hola compadres
Hola los amigos, esperan que todos estén bien con usted. Un hola especial a esos recientes invita. I' m en la parada del grupo OKC and surrounding areas mucho tan adentro y dice hola. Recuerdos….
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Quote for the day
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Posted:Aug 4, 2008 6:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 8:10 am
3170 Views
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The early bird may get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
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Computer Frustration
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Posted:Aug 4, 2008 6:52 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2010 9:11 am
3257 Views
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As a computer tech there are few things that are worse than virus' on you system but let me tell you about my latest headache.
Lightning storms!!! A virus you can wipe out... you may have to wipe out the complete operating system but at least you can recover...
Let me tell you about lightning.... If it hits real close, you know your computer is toast... end of story, buy a new one... However, sometimes it doesn't fry your system... maybe your modem/router bought it but your pc seemed to recover ok.... wrong..
Customer wants it fixed but doesn't want to replace the system and keep it cheap to boot! The computer still suffered damage and causes intermitant problems....however programs work ok for the most part....Trying to discover where the problem actually lies is the tricky part..
Hardware passed all tests, backed up data and replaced Operating system/motherboard firmware... Still an issue... Oh well.. time to start replacing parts... l8tr
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When I was....
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Posted:Apr 29, 2008 3:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 8:10 am
3262 Views
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There was this guy who really took care of his body and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and admired his body and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis, which he readily decided to do something about it.
He went to the beach, completely undressed, buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out. About that time two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane.
On seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, she began to move it round with her cane, remarking to the other little old lady saying,
"There is no justice in the world."
The other little old lady said, "What do you mean by that?"
The first little old lady said, "look at that."
When I was 20..... I was curious about it
When I was 30..... I enjoyed it
When I was 40..... I asked for it
When I was 50..... I paid for it
When I was 60..... I prayed for it
When I was 70..... I forgot about it
And now that I am 80, the damned thing is growing wild, and I'm too old to squat."
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Jodies
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Posted:Apr 13, 2008 7:30 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 8:10 am
3480 Views
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Ahh, jodies. A fond memory for most military folks. Many lost throughout the ages, forgotten, meaning lost, or completly obiliterated from military life by political correctness.
If you happen to know any, please add it to the comments!
To those that don't know what I'm talking about...In the armed services, a military cadence or cadence call is a traditional call-and-response work song sung by military personnel while running or marching.
One of my favorites I kept over the years (and was removed due to political correctness) used some of the following verses below.
After each verse, usually sung by the leader, but sometimes everyone sung together, the chorus was used. It was lots of fun to sing when marching and passing a marching female group.
Chorus - Hey pretty lady, whaddaya say pretty lady?
Versus -
If all the young ladies were teachers with class
I’d get all my A’s by pounding their ass
If all of the laddies were tellers at banks
I’d be a thief and steal all their francs
And all you young ladies who ain't had a scholar
Step into my class, and I'll make you hollar
If all of the laddies were policemen so strong
I’d take care of their needs all the night long
If all the young ladies were trees in the wood
I'd fill all their knotholes as long as I could
If all the young ladies were deep as a well,
I'd fill them up slow (and I'd never tell)
I once knew a girl, a teller and banker
I kept her bum red, ‘cause she begged me to spank her
If all the young ladies were tellers in banks
I’d make my deposit from the end of my franc
If all the young ladies were tellers of fortunes
I’d be the future that eased all their tension
If all the young ladies were so wild and thorny
I’d be the one who’s there when their horny
If all the young ladies were welders of steel
I’d be the rod that made them all kneel
If all the young ladies were chickens and hens
I’d be the cock for which they all yen
If all the young ladies were witches of magic
I’d be the wand that made them go spastic
If all the young ladies wore leather and lace
I’d be the tailor that covered their space
If all the young ladies were sheep on a lawn,
Well, I'd be a Scotsman from dusk until dawn
If all the young ladies were drinkin’ mead wine
I’d give them a taste from this keg of mine
(And yes Rose.. it can be used as a sippy straw)
I wish all of the girls were fish in a pool
And I was a whale with a waterproof tool.
If all of the girls were bells in a tower
And I was a clapper, I'd bang one each hour
If all of the girls were fish in the ocean
And I was a wave (or whale) I'd teach them the motion.
If all of the girls were little white rabbits
And I was a hare, I would teach them bad habits.
If all the young ladies were B-29's,
And I was a fighter, I'd buzz their behinds.
If all the young ladies were bats in a steeple
And I were a bat---there'd be more bats than people.
If all the young ladies were bricks on a pile,
Then I'd be the mason and I'd lay them in style.
If all the young ladies were diamonds and rubies
And I were a jeweler, I'd shine up their boobies.
If all the young ladies were little white kittens
And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's
If all the young ladies were rushes a-growing,
I'd take out my scythe and set out a-mowing.
If all the young ladies were singing this song
It would be twice as dirty and three times as long.
If all the young ladies were up for improvement.
I'd give them some help with a ball-bearing movement.
If all the young ladies were wheels on a car,
Then I'd be the piston and go twice as far.
If all the young lassies were bells in a tower
And I were a clapper I'd bang every hour
If all the young lassies were doors of stout wood
And I were a knocker I'd bang 'em up good
If all the young lassies were like pies on the shelf,
Then I'd be the baker and eat them myself.
If all the young lassies were like statues of Venus,
I'd be equipped with a petrified penis.
If all the young lassies were locks on a gate
I'd be a key and insert and rotate
If all the young lassies were pure as they say
All the young lads would be happy and gay
If all the young lassies were sheep in the clover
Then I’d be a ram and I’d ram ’em all over
If all the young lassies were winds of the sea
I'd be a sail and I'd let them blow me
If all the young ladies were little white vixen
I'd be a fox an' I'd chase an' I'd fix 'em
All the young ladies were grapes on the vine
I'd be a plucker an' have me a time
If all the young ladies were little white rabbits
I'd be a hare and I'd teach 'em bad habits
If all the young ladies were sweet fruits and berries
I'd handle their melons and nibble their cherries
If all the were like cows in the pasture
I'd be a bull and fill them with rapture
If all the were like mares in the stable
I'd be a stallion and show them I'm able
If all the young ladies were pure as they say
All the young men would be happy... and gay!
I wish all the girls were like statues of Venus
I'd be a Greek with a petrified penis.
If all the young ladies were little red foxes
And I were a hunter I'd shoot up their boxes
If all the were like diamonds and rubies
I'd be a jeweler and polish their boobies
If all them young ladies was little white kittens
And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's
If all them young ladies was rushes a-growing,
I'd take out my scythe and set out a-mowing.
If all the young laddies became nice chew toys
I'd be the one who had trained all those boys.
If all the young laddies were bakers of pie
I'd be the bread yeast and make them all rise
If all the young laddies were barrles of whiskey rye
I'd turn on their spigots and drink they all dry
If all the young laddies were big as they say
Then nary a lass would be walkin' this day!
If all the young laddies were boards on the floor
I'd lay meself down and make them creak more
If all the young laddies were boats on the ocean
I'd be the wave, and I'd show 'em the motion
If all the young laddies were sailing through channels quite thin
I'd be the lighthouse, and guide them all in
If all the young laddies were jousters from France,
I'd be the squire and spitshine their lance
If all the young laddies were bells in a tower,
I'd be the clapper and *bang* on the hour
If all the young laddies were bricks in a pile
I'd be the mason and lay them in style
If all the young laddies were butchers so sweet,
I'd swing from their hooks and I'd pound on their meat
If all the young laddies were watches in bright shiny cases
I'd be the hands and I'd sit on their faces
If all the young laddies were bottles of beer
I'd give good head and they'd be of good cheer
If all the young laddies were bricks in a pile
I'd be the mason and lay them with style
If all the young laddies were butchers so sweet
I'd hang on their hooks and I'd pound on their meat
If all the young laddies were clouds puffy and gray
I'd be the wind and I'd blow them all day
If all the young laddies were coconuts sweet
I'd suck out their juices and chew on their meat
If all the young laddies were cows by a stream
I'd lay meself down and lick up the cream
If all the young laddies were fish in the ocean
I'd be the waves and show them the motion
If all the young laddies were flames in a fire
I'd be the bellows and blem them all higher
If all the young laddies were grapes in the sun
Id grab a big bunch, squeeze their juice one by one
If all the young laddies were grapes on the vine
I'd be the one to make them all wine
If all the young laddies were hounds on a spree
I'd be the fox and I'd let them chase me
If all the young laddies were keys to a gate
I'd be the lock, insert and rotate
If all the young laddies were little white flowers
I'd be a bee a suck them for hours
If all the young laddies were milk in a cup
I'd be a kitten and lick them all up
If all the young laddies were potter of clay
I'd sit on their wheels and rotate all day
If all the young laddies were sharks in the sea
I'd be a minnow and let them eat me
If all the young laddies were ships on the sea
I'd be the waves and I'd let them ride me
If all the young laddies were singin' this ditty
It would be twice as long, but just half as witty
If all the young laddies were singing this song
It’d be over too quick and it’d be half as long
If all the young laddies were steeds in a stable
I'd be the groom and mount all I'm able
If all the young laddies were Toms on the prowl
I'd be the kitten that makes them all yowl
If all the young laddies were watches in shiny gold cases
I'd be the hands and I'd sit on their faces
If all the young laddies were waves in the sea
I'd be the shore and I'd let them lick me
If all the young laddies were pies on a shelf
I'd be the baker and eat them meself
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To link to this blog (rm_CPL6364) use [blog rm_CPL6364] in your messages.
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