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Real Men/Women of Genius is meant to poke a bit of harmless fun at the not-so bright members of this site. Disguised as playful rants, the nobler side of these posts holds the hope that some light will be shed on the sometimes irreparable mistakes that men(and women) make. What makes me the expert? I'm not, but there are two ways to learn from mistakes. By making your own, or by watching others. I've made plenty of mistakes, and seen plenty of them, and I have learned a great deal, and I wish to share my knowledge. I usually post once a week, on what I affectionately call Bloody Sunday. Check back for new posts!
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 6
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Posted:Mar 30, 2008 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 7:16 am
1995 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 6
Today, I salute you, Mr. I Don't Handle Rejection Well
Defying all semblance of logic, you, when faced with a 'no', rather than walking away with your dignity intact, you choose to provoke a confrontation with the lady who politely declined your invitation. You conjure up all manner of insults, possibly in the hope that guilt will suddenly instill a change of heart.
I'm just curious. What was your opening line? "Wanna fuck?"
Not exactly James Bond, are ya?
Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question.
If, by some miracle, you had a creative bone in your body, you could've pretended for a moment that you're British. Hell, "How's about a bit of Rubby-Bumpy?" might just make her LAUGH her way into your bed. Couple that with a poorly acted, jokingly fake British accent, and...you get the picture.
But surely, you resorted to the stale pickup lines, clinging to the hope that maybe this time they'll work...leaving her shaken...AND stirred.
Sadly mistaken are words that fall gravely short of describing you at that moment. Perhaps it is the fact that you suddenly discovered a way to divide your age by ten that denied you the means to see the error of your ways. Your ways that incurred the wrath of not only your intended target, but that of her friends, which, when scorned, are found in abundant supply.
Your lack of discipline has made the ignore button a staple in the diet of the everyday chatter, allowing them the option of either reading the petty, predictable, insecure comments your feeble brain has to offer, or block them altogether.
Personally, I think it's free entertainment seeing the depths that one will sink to, desperately seeking some elusive form of validation for their actions. She won't let you love her, so your only other option is to hate her? Are you kidding me? Is that the best you can come up with?
Here's a tip: If a woman doesn't LIKE you, she's NOT going to sleep with you.
Write that down.
Alas, Mr. I Don't Take No For An Answer, let me try to find meaning among the madness. If you didn't cause all the trouble that you do, customer service would probably become bored with the monotony of dealing with fake profiles.
As far as the rejection is concerned, you'd better get used to it, because it will happen again.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 5
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Posted:Mar 23, 2008 9:07 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 7:09 am
2950 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 5
Today, I salute you, Mr. I Can't Get Laid on This Site.
Forget the obvious reason why many, if not most members are here. They are looking for sex. They aren't shy about admitting it, and neither are you. You would think it would be a no-brainer.
So why then, is it so difficult to get your Tab A into her Slot B? That's just it. It's more than that. Granted there are some women who really just want you to bang 'em and leave 'em, but most women really expect more than a stiff member.
Bottom line is, if you treat a like a dog, then it will offer little more than the occasional pat on the head. If you treat the like a friend, then you will have a friend. Maybe even one with benefits.
By the way, I hope that the analogy doesn't stray you away from treating women like the exquisite pearls of beauty that they are. So don't go patting them on the head.
Oh, and the shouts about not being able to get laid, well...that's like a huge, brightly-lit billboard saying, "Please, don't have sex with me! No one else wants to!" Believe me, it's bad publicity for any member.
So, give it some thought, Mr. This Site Doesn't Work. Better yet, give it a LOT of thought. Because if you don't stop screaming about your LACK of a sex life, you won't even be able to get laid in a non-profit brothel.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 4
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Posted:Mar 16, 2008 8:50 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 7:08 am
1954 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 4
Today, I salute you, Mr. Overused Compliment User.
Friday comes along. Date night. You see an attractive woman walking toward the elevator. You wonder if she is a model. You think to yourself, "Wow! She's hot!"
You, and the other ninety-nine men that had the pleasure of gazing upon her beauty today thought the exact same thing. Here's a summary of how her day most likely came to pass:
Guy #1: "You're hot!"
Her: "Thank you."
Guy #2: "You're hot!"
Her: "Thanks."
I'll skip to the end for now.
Guy #99: "You're hot!"
Her: "Thanks."
Is there some sort of pattern starting to form here? Same old compliment a hundred times a day from men who fall at her feet at the very sight of her. No originality. No creativity. I'm surprised it never inspired a song. Ninety-nine overused lines on the wall...Ninety-nine overused lines...One more clown...Shot himself down...Ninety-eight overused lines on the wall.
That one would've been a hit.
Now, you, number one-hundred, step up to her, and by some miracle managing to form a coherent phrase, babble out the words, "You're beautiful."
Can you form the phrase, "Crash and burn."? You just did, and got tossed on the pile with the rest of the men who acted like they had never seen a beautiful woman before.
Here's a hint: "You're hot." and "You're beautiful." mean the SAME THING.
After a less-than-heartfelt "Thanks.", she walks toward the elevator, and even though she's carrying a briefcase in one hand, and her coat in the other, she still makes an attempt at pressing the button.
"Allow me." says a well-dressed gentleman as he presses the button for her. This time her "Thanks." sounds distinctly different.
"Ah, Friday at last." says the gentleman. "Any big plans for the weekend?"
"Not at the moment." the lady replies as the elevator opens.
"Ladies first." the man says, gesturing forward.
They both enter the empty elevator, and as the doors begin to close, you manage to hear the man say, "By the way, my name is..."
The doors close, not only on the elevator, but on your slim chances with her. You try hard to fight away the idea that her weekend plans are about to change. All because of a simple and very learnable talent called conversation.
Not entirely original, but entirely genuine.
Conversation. You should try it sometime. You may be surprised at the doors it has the power to open.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 3
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Posted:Mar 9, 2008 1:13 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2008 8:48 am
1896 Views
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Today, I salute you, Mr. Chatroom Chatter Insulter.
Taking every other civilized option available, and pushing it firmly aside, you choose to insult, degrade, and otherwise offend those of the fairer sex who haven't a clue who you are, and now thanks to you, they never will.
Perhaps you thought, "Maybe if I piss her off, she'll sleep with me. If the bad guys in the movies can do it, so can I."
I can't blame you for your momentary lapse of reason. The bad guys on the silver screen do get some smokin' hot women...albeit often against their will.
However, the flaw in your strategy is that in the end the bad guy always loses, and the good guy gets to do the "victory dance" with the bad guy's girl. I'll give you one guess where.
Ah, sweet, sweet justice.
The swift hand of which will not hesitate to extend a gratuitous slap in the face when mutual friends are violated. Oh, and do turn the other cheek. Justice doesn't mind the practice.
So, O' Roamer of the Rooms, the next time you and your lack of courtesy decides to step into chat, keep in mind that everyone is willing to provide you with a religious experience. The decision left up to you is....Heaven or Hell.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 2
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Posted:Mar 2, 2008 10:48 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 7:03 am
1873 Views
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Today, I salute you, Mr. I'm Proud Of My Cock-Shot Guy.
You stand there comparing recent pics of your cock and your face, and in all the infinite wisdom of both heads combined...you ultimately make the clearly unanimous decision to post the image of the less-than-photogenic OTHER head...the one WITHOUT the brain.
As you sit there naked in front of the computer, mouse in one hand, yourself in the other, you browse women's profiles, ignoring the repeated requests for no cock shot, and obviously the little head is clearly the one doing the thinking, proudly sending them nothing less than...a cock shot.
Not to worry. I'm sure that pic of your modestly-sized member will do away with of all her annoying doubts that you have something resembling a personality.
So hold your head high, and make sure the one-eyed monster smiles at the camera, oh Swami of the Snake. You have obviously presented a perfect example of when two heads are NOT better than one.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius?
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Posted:Feb 24, 2008 11:23 am
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2008 3:18 pm
1780 Views
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Today, I salute you, Mr. Ridiculously Obvious Pick-Up Line User.
Only you have the uncanny talent to disregard dignity, common sense, and any measure of self-respect, keeping alive such phrases as, "Wanna hook up?", "I'll do anything you want.", and the immortally popular "Wanna fuck?"
Contrary to your wishful thinking, few women, if any, want to have an anonymous membership with an anonymous member's member. Surely, you haven't even gone near the thought that she might actually want to know anything about you.
So, forget the fact that pick-up lines never work, and keep those chat rooms buzzing oh Layman of the Lines, because even though history and the odds stand firmly against you, you can always find a tiny glimmer of hope in the knowledge that even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut.
GLC
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Profiles
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Posted:Aug 27, 2005 10:38 am
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2007 9:33 am
1840 Views
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I just updated my profile, and I was thinking. A lot of people write a whole lot of lines about themselves, and when you meet them, it isn't the same. It's as if they don't know themselves as well as they may think. I try not to write too much, because I gotta keep a little mystery, ya know. I would like to hear other's opinions and thoughts about profiles. Too much? Too little? How much is enough? Especially the additional questions. How honest is everyone when they answer them?
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To link to this blog (goodlookincookin) use [blog goodlookincookin] in your messages.
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