oh god, Oh God, OH GOD! GOTTA GO!
|
Posted:Aug 12, 2013 11:15 am
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:27 pm
3699 Views
|
All of us have those moments, You know the ones I'm talking about. Those moments when the right word's don't come out or you happen to say the wrong thing at the most inopportune moment's? You happen to be in the right place at the wrong time or see something that you shouldn't have because you weren't paying attention? Well, I make a living doing these things I guess because it always seems to happen to me. Now, I only have my own self to blame for most of the maladies that befall me but, there are those times when it is really not my fault.
The earliest one that I can remember,(And I can't believe admitting to this, but hey, we're all friend's right?), was being caught masturbating in the boy's bathroom by the hall monitor because I was taking to long to go. But hey, when a young boy finds out that something other than pee comes out of him, he becomes infatuated by it, and hell, it feels good and if anybody say's anything different they're lying!!
Another time was when I was taking the to Disneyland and we were somewhere around Mt Shasta and it was about 2:00 in the morning when my little boy said he had to go to the bathroom and couldn't hold it. So being a good parent I pulled over to the side of the road and we got out and both began to relieve ourselves when the only car for miles to be seen pulls up, and of course you guessed it, it was a State Trooper. After explaining the situation and getting quite a chiding from the Officer he shook his head and sent us on our way.
Then there was the time at work when I had to use the restroom. At my place of employment, the restroom is unisex but can be locked when your inside. So, if you try the door handle and it doesn't turn then it is occupied otherwise then it is open. Well, once again I had waited too long before going and had to really go so I headed to the bathroom and turned the handle and walked into a young lady standing there completely naked and changing her clothes. You know that nanosecond where the information being seen has to be processed by your brain? Well it seemed more like an eternity as I just stood there and stared like a complete moron that had never seen a naked woman before. Or at least it seemed that way and the only thing that I could muster to say was "Nice Tattoo" which at least made her smile before she said excuse me and I left embarrassed as all hell! To this day we have never talked about that moment which is OK by me!
These are just three of the countless embarrassing moments in which I've found myself in over the years but, at least I can laugh at them as no one got hurt except maybe my ego and pride just a little bit!
I've found that if you can't laugh at yourself first then you have no business laughing at others!! 
Think about it!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Shhh!, Get Ready, Here Comes Another One!
|
Posted:Aug 11, 2013 7:38 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:17 pm
4347 Views
|
Gullibility, Are we not the most gullible people in the world? I mean really think about it. Where else in the world can you find such items as Topsy Turvy Tomatoes, The AHH Bra, Flex Seal, The Boom Cube, and a host of other products designed to prey on the gullibility of the masses. Now, I'm sure that most of these fine products are worthy of purchase and I have purchased my fair share of the thousand's of item's out there on the market. This isn't about them to some extent. As I sit here and write this in my media room, (when did family room change to media room?), I look around me and chuckle and laugh at all the gadgets and gizmos that fill the room, starting with this computer. I'm not a Anti-Technology guy, but I do remember a time when a person had to use a telephone to talk to someone and I'm not talking cell phone and you actually had to use the mail system.
I'm kind of a Gamer when I have the time, which isn't very often anymore and I have to actually force myself to stop and play.(Sad isn't it?) But even that create's a whole new problem in itself as I have WAAAYYY to many choices! AWWWW! SUX to be you is what you're thinking and you'd be right except for the reason. It's not that I have too many games to choose from, Oh hell no, I have Hundreds of games to choose from. It's the game system to play, and then what game.
Do I play the Atari, Sega Genesis, PlayStation, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Or Online? Where am I headed you ask? Well allow me to explain.
Once technology begins, it starts to snowball, catching any and everyone up in it's path once they reach out and touch it. Good example is this computer. I've lived 54 yrs without one because I really had no need until my little girl moved to Australia, and my boy to New York so I use it to video chat with them and of course talk to you. So, computer= need for wireless modem, Printer, Mouse & Pad, computer table, various software, and of course Internet Provider. But I digress,
The Atari I have had since I was a , the Nintendo was the first one to be purchased as a tool and entertainment thing for the when daddy needed some rest as a single parent. But then daddy would get talked into playing and then IT BEGAN. I guess the next big thing is always better than the original, which is usually true when it comes to technology, so it made sense to buy the Super Nintendo, and then the PlayStation, followed by the Sega. Wooptie you say, except for the fact that when I got around to buying them, about 3-4 months later the makers stopped making the games and came out with the new Systems so I was always trying to catch up, which I never did and finally gave up.
My point is this, Companies do these things on purpose not only to boost their bottom lines, but also they know that the American people are gullible enough that if they change their product even slightly that they'll run out and buy it! Don't believe me? Look at the evolution of Computer's and Cell Phone's and how many you have purchased over the year's!!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Yes, I'll Have The Sushi, Well Done Please?
|
Posted:Aug 10, 2013 5:26 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:19 pm
3791 Views
|
Yes, the title matches the content this time! Stupidity, It runs rampant in our society! It starts at the top with our government and filter's its way down until it attacks us on a person level. Now, I have my own warped views on our governmental system but, today is not the day to share them besides you tuned in to maybe get a chuckle or a laugh, and that is what I try to do! Now, If you read one of my stories, I fit into this category as well as probably everyone else on the planet! We all do stupid things that when we look back we shake our heads and try to figure out what we were thinking, but then there are those that actually go out of their way to do some of the most stupid, insane, and down right head shaking things that at least for me, have me rooting for the bad to actually happen. Now don't get me wrong, I don't endorse or like to see anyone suffer or get hurt in any way BUT, If your stupid enough to be leaning out of a small raft and petting a 2000 lb Great White Shark, I'm sorry but I want to see the shark win. If you're not smart enough and have a death wish to actually GO swimming with Reef Sharks and not be behind any kind of protection, I'm sorry I still want to see the sharks win!
If, for some unknown reason to me, Getting onto a really small bicycle and going really fast down a ramp to jump a bunch of whatever gets your motor running, I'm sorry I want to see you crash.
And, if getting on a piece of fancy styro-foam and paddling out into the ocean to ride a 40 foot wave gets your heart pumping, I'm sorry I want to see you wipe out.
I like to watch all these things as much as everyone else and one could say because you can't do any of those things that I'm jealous, but believe me I'm not and have done my fair share of really stupid and dangerous things in my life. It just baffles me though that, we are here for such a short time anyway, why anyone would go out of their way to shorten that time!
OK, Fine, call me a killjoy, BUT, You don't watch a NASCAR race to watch 40 cars on a 1.5 mile oval make constant left turns, you watch to see them WRECK!!!! BE HONEST!!
Tune in as there is more to come on this subject!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Sign,Sign,Everywhere a Sign
|
Posted:Aug 9, 2013 5:22 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:29 pm
3629 Views
|
So, wouldn't it be cool to have control over a freeway sign for a day? Think of all the things you could post for drivers to ponder over. You could use it as your own personal ad, Guy/gal looking for same and a phone number to call or sell personal items as motorist fly by wondering what it was that they just saw. Or you could just put up Have A Nice Day!
Me though. I'm a touch devilish and would probably put up all roads North, South, East, and West closed until further notice so just go home and save some gas!!
I tend to root for the little guy so the message on this sign is appropriate! If you gotta go, go out with a bang!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
If I Brain Fart. Does It Smell???
|
Posted:Aug 8, 2013 7:30 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:20 pm
3678 Views
|
Is there a certain food group that smart people eat that the rest of us are not privy to? Or. maybe they're just better at hiding their screw-ups! I remember once going to the store to go shopping and locking my key's in the car with no spare! You know that feeling of complete and utter helplessness as you grab for the door in a futile effort to stop it from shutting only to stand there like an idiot with that sheepish smile and I meant to do that attitude! #1. Then there was the time that I was putting away the groceries and in the quickest effort to get done I swooshed all the garbage, including my car/house keys, into the trash and of course not finding this out till after garbage pick-up and I needed to go somewhere! (Think I'd learn?, NAWWWW)#2. See a reoccurring theme here? And of course there was the time that I locked my key's in the car just before I had to go to work!#3. So. all in all I've spent about $500.00 in locksmith fees, where I could have spent $10.00 and bought 10 spare key's and felt like a smart person instead of a moron! "Here's My Sign!" as Bill Engvall put's it!
Which brings me to this:
Really nice Mountain bike; $350.00
Chain w/ lock and key; $35.00
Having it become a homeless
Mans new transportation to
the nearest Pawn Shop; $75.00
Coming back to find it gone
With that OMG WTF look on
the owners Face; PRICELESS
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
"You Might Wanna Back-up Just A Bit"
|
Posted:Aug 7, 2013 9:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:21 pm
4358 Views
|
Picture this if you can!
Somewhere deep in the mountains where none of us would ever go or find if we tried, is a man sitting on his porch in a bucket seat of a 1976 Dodge Charger. Next to him sits a vintage mason jar of moonshine that he finished making earlier that day. As he picks up the jar and takes a sip He suddenly has a realization. "If I build it, They'll surely buy it!" is his thought. So following in the footsteps of those that came before him he pursues the American dream of success, never giving up until his idea came to fruition. And this is what he came up with and damn I think I want one!!!! Why can't I think of this stuff? Gotta be the moonshine!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
I Don't Understand, It Was A Good Idea At The Time
|
Posted:Aug 6, 2013 9:04 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:30 pm
3566 Views
|
Some of the greatest inventions have come from trial and error, but those were done by people who actually had an idea of what they were trying to accomplish, whether it was to make life easier or improve on an existing product. NOT to make a fast buck as it is today! Examples:
The Egg Cracker, Those jean sweats, any headlight restoration product, And The Chia Pet. Yes,I said, The Chia Pet. Think of the millions of dollars spent every Christmas on these damn things that I cant get to grow to save my life. And don't try to deny that pretend happy face you put on when you open that gift from the in-laws and see one as I know it ends up being re-gifted or in the back of the closet with all the other crap that you been conned into buying over the years!! Jean sweats? Give me a f#^*ing break, for the $30.00 you spent you could have bought a real pair! And if for some unknown reason you need a tool to crack open an egg, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING IN THE KITCHEN! As for the headlight products, I'm guilty as hell on this one as I think I've bought all of them hoping somehow that it lives up to the promise's that the commercials say but never do! I guess my point is that P.T. Barnum was correct when he said that; "There's a sucker born every minute", and unfortunately I even fit into that category!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Please Excuse Me, I've Got Gas
|
Posted:Aug 5, 2013 8:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:31 pm
3466 Views
|
You know, back in the day; OMG did I just say that? I remember sitting in a 1964 Ford Galaxy 500 and listening to my dad about to lose his mind over the fact that we had been sitting in line at the local gas station for over an hour to purchase 10 gallons of gas at $0.77 a gallon. He was pissed because of two reasons:
1. As he put it; Those greedy motherf@#$er's at the oil companies had come up with a new way to screw the little people by creating a fuel shortage to drive up the price of a gallon of gas and a loaf of bread. (Where the hell a loaf of bread fit in I'll never know to this day)
And 2. He was pissed because he was too stupid to buy stock in Exxon or Mobile oil before they created the shortage!
My father, God rest his soul, endlessly bitched, moaned and complained about the price of gas all throughout my up-bringing. And even after I moved away and would come home to visit he would eventually have to bring up the price of gas. I think to this day that, that was the one thing he could never get over and got his goat. I'm not sure though if it was really the price or the stock because I sure as hell wasn't going to ask!!!God bless you Dad RIP!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
What, Dating Sites Not Working And You Think This Will?
|
Posted:Aug 4, 2013 9:55 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:32 pm
3523 Views
|
I'm really not sure which way to go on this one! Is it desperation on his part or the 's part?
I find it humorous that we have to let everyone driving behind us know how many are in the family including pets! When did this begin? It's cute I admit until I saw this one mini-van which had Dad, Mom, boy, girl, 4 dogs , and 12, yes I said 12, cats! I almost wrecked trying to count them! Best of luck in filling the position!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Oh Friend Where Have You Gone?
|
Posted:Aug 3, 2013 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:33 pm
3640 Views
|
Are Your Friend's "TRUE"?
In my life I've had one "TRUE" friend , someone who would always be there, support me in times of need, Pick me up when I was down, Laugh, Cry, Counsel, or be the better side of reason. Someone who would agree, disagree, or compromise. Never afraid to say anything good or bad, and could always keep a secret. Someone who was always themselves no matter what, transparent, trusting, and above all loyal to the end and I also in return, but that person was sadly taken so abruptly and I never got to tell them what a "TRUE" friend they were or got to say goodbye!
Normally, I keep things up-beat here on the Other Side but today is the Anniversary of their passing of what seems just like yesterday!
If you are one of the very fortunate to have such a friend whether it be your Spouse, Significant Other, Bro, Sis, Boyfriend or Girlfriend, I implore you to take the time and effort to tell them just how much you appreciate them and the friendship that you share. Don't EVER take them for granted for tomorrow is promised to no one and our time here is limited. Appreciate them for who they are and what they do; For good friends are easy to come by but, "TRUE" friends are there to the end!!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Now Run That By Me Again, You Want What For What?
|
Posted:Aug 2, 2013 5:31 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:33 pm
3812 Views
|
Homelessness in America is really no laughing matter!! I was Homeless at one point in my life, but I just have to laugh at the ingenious way's that they are able coax money out of us! Most are pretty straight forward, but then there are those who are quite a bit more creative like this fine Gentleman!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow!
|
Posted:Aug 1, 2013 6:11 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 6:22 pm
3394 Views
|
Yesterday was one of those day's and today was not much better, but then I thought of this:
My problems are insignificant compared to that poor person and thing's will always get better ,or, Thing's could always get worse!! But a Good Dose of Laughter Help's!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
MAMA Said There'd Be Days Like This!
|
Posted:Jul 31, 2013 6:41 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 10:20 pm
3644 Views
|
This picture sums up my day quite well, but thank goodness they're all not like it!!
Too many Monday's this week, but the beginning of a new month, and two weeks till VACATION!!! Pretty sure I can make it!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (Rdyguy4u) use [blog Rdyguy4u] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
11
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
