Funny
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Posted:Apr 2, 2017 9:14 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2021 12:10 pm
3448 Views
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So, a young, married couple are up against the financial wall and about to lose the house and car, etc. After discussion, they agreed the wife, a looker, could work a corner for a while to raise money fast.
That weekend, she got all done up in her best, sexy, slutty dress and they drove to 'that' part of town. She gets out and the husband parks up the street for protection.
Not too long, a guy comes by and asks how much.
Hold a second, she says and goes to ask her husband.
She comes back and says: 100.00.
"I can afford that, how much for a blowjob?"
She goes up and comes back with 50.00
"I can't afford that. How much for just a hand job?"
She comes back with: 20.00.
"Ok", he says, so she gets the money and gets in the car.
He pulls down his pants to reveal the biggest dick she'd ever seen.
"Hold on a second", she says and walks up to the husband's car.
"Honey", she asks, "can we loan this guy 80.00?"
Thank you...thank you...I'll be here all week.
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The meadow
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Posted:Mar 10, 2017 1:53 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2018 8:09 pm
4810 Views
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It was a beautiful, sunny and unseasonable warm spring day. I was feeling mischievous and called in sick. I mean, who could possibly be expected to be confined into a cubicle bathed in artificial light and recirculated air? Luckily, I have a partner in crime, who had the same thoughts.
I arrived at her place in the mid morning to pick her up. When she opened the door to greet me, it was as if the doors of Heaven themselves parted to present this angel, standing before me. To the casual observer, she looked like the girl next door, clad in a loose fitting shirt, shorts and hiking boots. To me...she was an angel, with her blond hair cascading down upon her shoulders, highlighting her hazel eyes, high cheekbones and pouty, full lips. As always, I stood there a moment transfixed by her radiant beauty.
She broke my trance by thrusting her backpack at me and went to my car.
We drove into the mountains for a great hike with a picnic in a secluded area I had seen previously.
After a pleasant ride to the trailhead, we gathered our gear and began our adventure. A couple of miles in, she looked at me, said she was hot, winked at me and took off her shirt to reveal her beautiful breasts. God, I love a woman who loves nature! Every chance I got, I'd steal a look to see those two orbs bounce and sway just a little with each step she took. Nature, is a natural aphrodisiac. She'd 'catch me looking, not very difficult, really. She would smile and reach over to feel my growing package to see what kind of effect she was having on me.
Finally, we reached that secluded spot I had been waiting for. A little cove of trees next to a meandering creek that offered seclusion from prying eyes. Taking her hand into mine, I guided her to where I wanted her.
Our breathing was a little labored due to the strenuous hike, which caused her chest to rise and fall noticeably as well as adding a slight sheen of perspiration glistened off her silky skin.
Taking her angelic face into my hands, I began to passionately kiss that succulent mouth of hers, as she kissed me back. Our mouths were meshed together and tongues were intertwined. My fingers slid down her graceful neck and down her chest to encompass her breasts. Hmm.......nirvana.
She pulled away, looked into my eyes as only a woman in lust could. Her fingers rand down my chest and came to a rest on the waistband of my shorts, which now contained my aching erection. Smiling a devilish grin, all she said was: "Take me."
Wasting no time, I reached around and grabbed her by her ass, gently picked her up and lay her on the soft, grassy bank of the creek, removed my clothes and knelt between her legs and helped her wiggle out of her shorts.
Pulling me atop her warm, sun kissed body, her hands found their way to my now hard and ready cock. Smiling at me, she guided my cock to the opening of her wet and yearning pussy.
The moment I pushed inside was orgasmic. Gasps of pleasure escaped both of us as my cock slowly slid all the way into I could go no further. We didn't have much time, as we were next to a popular trail, which made it that much more exciting.
"Fuck me hard, lover," she said into my ear. I obliged. Strong, deep thrusts. Her legs wrapped around my waist drew me in deep...
My excitement was building as was hers.
That feeling from deep within started building. Sensing my impending explosion, she growled into my ear: "give me what I want"
What felt like an eternity, it built, I pumped harder, faster, deeper. She dug her fingers into my back and held on and with a final thrust, I exploded deep within her, my quivering orgasm triggered hers and she joined me in shuddering bliss. When the convulsions relented, we both collapsed, spent. It seemed like forever, I looked into your gentle eyes. The fierce look of passion faded, replaced by tranquility. It seemed we lay like that forever, neither one wanting to release the other.
The sun shone down upon us with a blanket of warmth with just enough of a breeze to make it perfect. After while, we moved to the creek and washed off, redressed and had our picnic, just as a group of hikers passed us....had they only known what had happened not too long before...
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Ever Send Nudes to the wrong person?
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Posted:Feb 27, 2017 9:50 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2021 12:05 pm
3918 Views
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Title is pretty self explanatory.
Have you ever?
Me: Once...
No shit, there I was...in a relationship with a girl and she sent me some great shots of her that left nothing to the imagination. After a few emails back and forth of how great she looks and when the next time we can see each other, she sent back: I want to see some of you.
So, I obliged. I took some different shots, close up, further away, different angles, etc to make her happy. I attached them to the email and clicked 'send'.
Hmm....maybe she didn't like? So....I emailed again to see if she got them.
She replied with a 'no'.
WTH, I was thinking to myself, when a response to said email came back into my inbox. It wasn't the girlfriend's email.
You know that holy shit, lump you get in you throat when you know you have screwed up?
Little back story: I was a realtor at the time....and I kept two, separate email accounts. A business account and my fun account. Well, I must have been sending this lady email with listings, or whatever, (must have had copied her email) and somehow pasted HER address into my play account's 'To' line. So....the got my cock shots.
...Did not go over well. After a lot of profuse apologies and told her those were meant for my girlfriend....all cleared up. However...did lose the sale.
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6
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Recognize
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Posted:Feb 16, 2017 2:37 pm
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2021 12:05 pm
3460 Views
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So, while browsing among profiles of all the amazing people on this site both near and afar, I occasionally wonder if I will ever come across the profile of someone I know.
So far, it hasn't happened, but who knows.
Have you ever been browsing and come across someone you know?
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Toy
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Posted:Nov 1, 2016 1:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2021 12:05 pm
4490 Views
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Saw this on another blog...seems fitting 
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3
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Creed
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Posted:Nov 29, 2015 11:59 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2015 9:46 am
7202 Views
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Went and saw the movie Creed the other night.
If you have not seen it, go....go right now.
Rocky movies...have gotten better.
Rocky Marathon was on yesterday.
Was telling a friend who hasn't seen any of them that she should...
It is a love story of an underdog who falls in love with a woman and they support each other all they to and thru the grave.
Guess more of a man's point of view...
as opposed to watching The Notebook.
Also, I still say, that Mr an Mrs Smith is a great relationship movie.
But I digress
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Snow
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Posted:Nov 29, 2015 11:53 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2015 9:47 am
7061 Views
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So, not a big fan of winter anymore. Just finished my classes, so time to update the resume and look for work in warmer climes.
On another note....I had an AWD SUV. it loved snow...sure footed and kept me safe.
However, it wasn't 'fun'. Sometimes, you just want to find a big, empty parking lot or empty street and go get your 'Drift King' on...nope. Not in the sure footed SUV.
.....enter the new truck. 4X4! Not SUV! Wahoo! It snowed! Bring on the parking lots!
Started into my first doughnut....was envisioning moving from the basic doughnut, up to figure 8's, and then weaving through the islands and lamp posts, whooping like Bo Duke after jumping the General Lee!
Alas....NEW trucks come with...traction control. FML! My fun has been thwarted! It cannot be disabled....ugg....ok, time to move...eff the snow.
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Hygiene
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Posted:Jan 26, 2015 12:30 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2016 8:33 pm
11353 Views
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So...there I was.....
years ago, when I was first a member on this site, I had been chatting up a girl for a while, and things progressed to having her come over one night.
Wahoo! Self high-five!
However, when she arrived, things weren't as awesome as I would have hoped for.
Now, I am a pretty clean guy. I normally shower once a day or twice when I go to the gym. When I go out on a date....yeah, a good shower is in order. If I hadn't that day, I will shave. My nails are clipped and clean and void of jagged edges. I man-scape and will touch up any place that needs to be addressed.
That is just a regular date. Now...for a date for the sole purpose is to meet up and fuck...I doubly make sure everything is right, and clean and ready for a good time.
I thought this was the norm?
This girl comes over...immediately, I could smell the chicken fast food fried grease smell on her. No need to guess what or where she last ate .....
When we moved to the bedroom a time later and clothes came off...my nose was immediately assaulted by what could only be described as the dumpster behind a fish cannery.
Still young, dumb and wanting to get my groove on...we started to get busy. Another bad decision, I started out going raw. Two reasons why bad decision:
1: unknown STD status...
2: When I stopped to put the rubber on a couple minutes later...I had to touch my now foul smelling dick.
As I put on the rubber, I looked down at my lil buddy...and I swear...if he could talk, he would say: WHY?!!?!? WTF have I done to deserve this??????
I'm surprised I was able to keep it up....
It could have been a great time, except in the back of my mind, I kept picturing a fog enclosed wharf with the sound of a lonely fog horn off in the distance. Evidently, that was the girl moaning...(At least she was enjoying herself...so...take one for the team high-five!)
Eventually....we finished. Thank God she wasn't a snuggler...she rolled over and went to sleep....I went to the bathroom and with great amounts of TP, removed my condom and washed off...and crept back to bed...taking a 'Crying Game' fetal position on my side.
The next morning, I woke, peed and put my shorts back on...cause now my junk smelled like her...
And...it seemed to take an act of divine intervention to get her to leave.
She was babbling on about something after I mentioned that I had to get started to head to the office...
In my mind....I was screaming: GET.THE.FUQ.OUT!
Finally! She left.
Immediately...I sprang into action!
Sheets and comforter ripped from my bed and put into the wash with a healthy dose of bleach. Color be damned!
Lysol'ed the room, windows open (was winter, didn't care)
I had to exercise the demon!
Then took a LONG and HOT shower...and triple scrubbed everything...
Purged.
Moral of the story: If you are going on a date...and especially a date with the sole purpose of getting naked and fucking...please....SHOWER.
And that's....how the cookie crumbles....
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To link to this blog (Mykes70) use [blog Mykes70] in your messages.
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