Sticking it to The Man
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Posted:Aug 8, 2010 4:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2015 10:10 am
4422 Views
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*cue soundtrack of cicadas on a monsoon night.
It took approximately an hour for me to come up with anything to write about. Such is the state that my once fertile (albeit fresh) mind is in right now. Allow me to declare that an accomplished scribe is not what I consider myself to be; not even a half-competent one. At least not as it were before or that which I had set out to be. With that out of the way, let's begin this incoherent rambling of a person seeking the last vestiges of his relevancy.
I used to rebel for the sake of being a rebel; as people immune or oblivious to clichs would call, "a rebel without a cause". As much as one would love to detest one's self looking back at all that naivety, suffice to say that during those formative years and up to this day, I can truly divulge that I have come full circle philosophically. That is to say, I went from being a staunch Marxist all the way to an Objectivist; and what a turbulent journey for my conscience it was.
I have found that after all these years, there is still one thing that I vehemently oppose: religion -- or as I would like to deconstruct as "Self perpetuating, organized indoctrination of hate, mysticism and blind faith". On that note, maybe I should re-title this post as "Sticking it to God", but it would be fitting if I were to save it for one of my future posts. Besides, I don't exactly oppose the concept of God as a transcendental form of existence; just the way it is portrayed and understood by lay people who have been unfortunate enough to be victims of organized religion.
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Something to remember
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Posted:Jan 29, 2010 3:02 am
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2014 5:13 am
4207 Views
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I suddenly realized that something significant had happened to me and for the love of mankind, I would never allow the memory of it to disappear after a meth binge. It’s about a girl, a girl who has got me tossing and turning in my bed for the past couple of days. I’m just gonna go straight to the part where I meet her for the first time.
It was 4.30pm on the last day of the year, the last day of the decade. On a busy road in KL, the main thoroughfare of the city, named after the country’s second prime minister. Right in front of Istana Budaya, as I was walking with the traffic, I heard that honking which sounded like music to my ears. It was her. As she drove up to me and stopped, I took a few steps to her car and opened the door. There she was, looking at me with those spellbinding eyes. She was wearing a black tudung which framed her magnificent face so well; a black top and grey leggings. There I was, sitting on the passenger side trying my best to look cool, as if meeting her meant nothing to me. But it wasn’t so. It meant everything.
Ever since I saw her profile on facebook, I was captivated. But as with all beautiful women like her, I knew best to play it safe. She was with someone, and God forbid if I ever became a stalker on facebook, so I played it cool. A few well intentioned comments on her photos and what do you know, she responded! A quick scan of her photos reveals that she already has her share of admirers and stalkers. I felt sorry for her then boyfriend. She must have been a handful. Fast forward a few months, she broke it off with her beau. I still thought it was best to play it cool. Let all her stalkers and admirers have their way then I’ll slowly slide through. The next thing I knew, we started chatting, and sure enough she mostly went on about her break up. I was being a gentleman and offered her a shoulder to lean on with my advice and cheering her up with my not so funny sense of humor. Still, never in my mind I thought I would have a chance with her.
We had small talk in her car on our way to Pavillion in Bukit Bintang. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and felt blessed to be sitting in the passenger seat that enabled me to do so. As we were talking, she almost drove into traffic at the Jalan Imbi-Jalan Bukit Bintang intersection. It was a moment when I saw her quirky side. She was a klutz after all. After we parked, we went straight to the cinema. I thought, “she wants to get this over with because she probably had plans with some other guy” but I didn’t care. As we were queuing to buy the tickets, we had some more small talk. I felt what I haven’t felt like in a long time. I was out on a date with a beautiful girl, the last time I did that was a long time ago I couldn’t remember. We wanted to watch Avatar, well, she wasn’t up to it but I was going to surprise her that it was a pretty good movie after all. As we got to the end of the line, I thought this was going to be the most perfect movie date I am ever going to be on. “Damn!” as I reached for my back pocket, I realized I had left my wallet inside my sling bag which was in her car. That has got to be the most embarrassing moment of my life. As I composed myself, we requested the tickets and guess what? Avatar has sold out! We finally bought tickets to Alvin and The Chipmunks, which was NOT what I had in mind. Screw you, fate!
After we got the tickets, it was time to move on to our next agenda. Our stomachs, especially mine, needed attention. I hadn’t anything to eat the whole day except a couple of steamed buns (pau kaya) in the morning. Before we settled on a place to eat, I made us descend four floors down to the parking lot to get my wallet. Silly old forgetful me. Prior to that we had settled on Dome’s because I heard the fish and chips were nice and I was craving for it. I don’t know why, but being back in KL after a while makes me hungry for fish and chips. She had fish as well, but with rice and a sort of chocolate sundae to drink. We had an insightful conversation over dinner, I took every bite as composed as I could so that the whole dinner would last that much longer. I finally began to open up to her. All this while, she was the one who had been revealing herself to me. By then, I had already knew her quite well from our conversations on the phone.
-to be continued
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Klbunny was here :D
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Posted:Feb 25, 2007 12:49 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2009 4:34 pm
4415 Views
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“He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back–that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory.”
–Death of a Salesman
I can't sleep. 3 weeks into this job and I'm lying in bed strategizing for my next promotional blitz. Never in a milion years did i thought I'd be a salesman; a faithful minion of capitalism, a slave for King Profit. My only reference to a life of a salesman is ironically, death of a salesman, the play by Arthur Miller.
I almost forgot the joy of meeting new people until I stumbled upon the chance to be a credit card salesman, a week into the job. There I was, aproaching strangers, not before profiling them in a glance, trying hard to hold their attention while being careful not make them feel manipulated. It felt great that i finally put all the things i read about psychology and human behaviour to good use. In my first week, almost all of my prospective were women. Not that I'm saying that i communicate better with women than with men; I dont, hell I'm always groping with words when I'm talking (or trying) to a beautiful woman (and women with ample, rounded breasts -I still am a sex addict) -it's just that I wanted to feel like a million bucks again everytime I talk to them in my salesman atire (shirt & tie, spiffy pants with spiffy shoes) and looking them straight in their eyes, when I smile and then get a smile in return. But most of the time I'm purely motivated by the thought that maybe somehow I'd get lucky with one of them  (again, I'm still a sex addict). Oh, how all those countless number of times i masturbated to porn had made me so distant to the gentler sex....
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Metaphysics...schmetaphysics
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Posted:Feb 24, 2007 11:39 am
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2014 5:11 am
4703 Views
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I just read klbunny's blog. The whole shebang.... I should be in be bed dreaming about women like her.... Tommorow's a working sunday for me. Years of self-abuse have turned my mind into what it is today.... Now, the great Malaysian novel will never ever be completed.
Geez, women like klbunny is the main reason i scour the depths of this God-forsaken sex personals site.... I just wish i had the vocabulary to describe how she blows my mind. I used to, but the drugs i used to consume really did kill my brain cells, i always knew that. Cross my fingers and hope that this journey of self-salvation will do me good. Pray to God that this career path I've taken (albeit temporary) in the corporate financial world, something completely new to me, will finally straighten me out. Only then will i contemplate my lifelong passion to be a writer.....
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A little cushion for the pushin'
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Posted:Nov 2, 2006 12:22 am
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2014 5:11 am
4561 Views
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Eros n.
1. Greek Mythology. The god of love, of Aphrodite.
2. often eros Creative, often sexual yearning, love, or desire: The new playful eros means that impulses and modes from other spheres enter the relations between men and women (Herbert Gold).
3. a. Psychiatry. Sexual drive; libido.
b. The sum of all instincts for self-preservation
I believe that eros determines our intelligence. The libido is the root or base of all human thoughts. Nowhere is that more evident than in reading some of the blogs in here. I myself admit to having a high sexual drive, and my new fetish, is big beautiful (or is it bouncy?) women. A few times i find myself checking out females of Amazonian proportions and wanting more. I've always had some attraction to big women but held back because of the social conditioning of the stigma that comes with the idea of a guy like me being seen with, bouncy women. I think a recent love interest of mine may have caused my current fixation with big beautiful women. Also, a movie i recently watched (Roma, by Frederico Fellini) featured mature prostitutes in a brothel in Rome. They wore sexy costumes with an emphasis on bulging flesh parading around a room full of men who were sizing them up like cattle. The combination of bulging flesh and their unbridled sexuality was the attraction for that particular scene. I met this wonderful lady whom i chatted with for quite a while and we had coffe and went to catch a movie together and who has long legs to die for with a gratuitous waistline and an ample amount of flesh elsewhere. I hope she wont be reading this but boy, she really turns me on.
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Egomania, anyone?
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Posted:Nov 2, 2006 12:10 am
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2014 5:11 am
4510 Views
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e·go ,
1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
3.
a. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.
Let's talk about ego, my ego. That first sentence is self-explainatory, dont u think? I think I'm guilty of having an ego the size of Gilbraltar, but this past month though, my ego has been put under scrutiny by non other than the self-declared egomaniac himself, yours truly. I have begun to write again and in some ways, it does help me get through everything whilst keeping my mind intact. I've always been expressive throughout my life. I started singing when i was 4 years old and although i never had any formal training, i do believe i was born with soul (My name means soul in arabic). Hell, i got the blues early on in my life when i was diagnosed with jaundice and had to be incubated for 2 weeks, right after i popped out from my mother. I have a natural flair for language but it boggles me that i sit and stare at the goddamn computer screen and go dumb. Maybe on my next post i'll write things down firts beforehand. In the mean time...je suis horny?
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To link to this blog (KLStudMuffin) use [blog KLStudMuffin] in your messages.
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