Three Nuns
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Posted:Dec 16, 2007 3:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 12:34 pm
641 Views
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hree Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.
He says, “Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want.”
The first nun says, “I want-a to be Sophia Loren” and …poof! she’s gone.
The second says, “I want-a to be Madonna” and …poof! she’s gone.
The third says, “I want-a to be Sara Pipalini.”
St. Peter looks perplexed. “Who?” he says.
“Sara Pipalini” replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says “I’m sorry but that name just doesn’t ring a bell.”
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says “No Sister, this says `Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days’!” ........
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I Heard You (Joke)
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Posted:Oct 19, 2007 1:24 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 12:34 pm
563 Views
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A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white box which served as the bug's house.
He took his purchase home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND LEARN ABOUT THE LORD?"
(YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!)
And a little voice came out of the box.........
"I heard you the first time.......I' m putting on my shoes!"
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Men with beards are smelly
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Posted:Jul 3, 2007 1:09 am
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2007 1:22 am
627 Views
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Men with beards are smelly, scruffy and not to be trusted,
says a poll of 2, 000 women. They also reckon whiskers make
a fella look older and lazy.
Eight out of 10 women said bearded blokes
were a complete turn-off.
Only seven per cent would consider kissing
a fella with facial hair.
One in five said the clean-cut look made
a man more stylish, while half said a beard aged a man. A quarter
said it made him look unhygienic and unkempt.
A spokeswoman for razor firm Bic, which
carried out the poll, said: "If you want to impress
a lady, growing facial hair is not the way to do it."
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What Religion is Your Bra?
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Posted:Jul 2, 2007 11:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 12:34 pm
644 Views
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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.
What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?
Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.
Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:
There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enorm!ous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !
They forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen!
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I'llbe every thing what you need
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Posted:Jul 2, 2007 10:38 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 12:34 pm
608 Views
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a song from vengaboys
I'iilbe your dream..I'illbe your wish..I'illbe your fantasy..
I'iilbe your hope..I'iilbe your love..Be every thing that you need...
I'ill love you more with every breath Truly,Madly,Deeply do..
I will be strong..I will be faithful..'cause I'm counting on
a new begining..a reason for living..a deeper meaning..
Mmm..
I want to stand with you on a mountain..
I want to bathe with you in the sea..
I want to lay like this forever..
Untill the sky falls down on me..
And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky..
I'll make a wish to send it to heaven.Then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy for all the purpose in the certaininty..
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of..
The heighest powers..In lonely hours..The tears devour you..
I want to stand with you on a mountain..
I want to bathe with you in the sea..
I want to lay like this forever..
Untill the sky falls down on me..
Oh! can you see it baby ?
You don't have to close your eyes..
'cause it's standing right here before you..
All that you need will surely come..
I'iilbe your dream..I'willbe your wish..I'willbe your fantasy..
I'iilbe your hope..I'wiilbe your love..Be every thing that you need...
I'ill love you more with every breath Truly,Madly,Deeply do..
I want to stand with you on a mountain..
I want to bathe with you in the sea..
I want to lay like this forever..Untill the sky falls down on me..
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