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| Blogs > VenusRedux2 > Conversing with the Divine |
The Overuse of Non-Words as Conversation Filler; alternatively … Does Anyone Actually Drink Eggnog?
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The Overuse of Non-Words as Conversation Filler; alternatively … Does Anyone Actually Drink Eggnog? Doubly reprehensible for throwing non-words on the screen. So get out of your boring and lame conversations and start making an impression by eliminating needless word fluff. Look at his conversation and take particular note of the timestamps: 7:08 What are you up to today? 7:09 Nothing, just relaxing on the couch watching tv 7:09 lol 7:11 It’s cold out, it’s a good day to stay in 7:11 Yeah 7:13 What are you watching? 7:13 A documentary about the Andrea Doria sinking 7:13 lol 7:16 Is it any good? 7:17 It’s alright 7:17 lol 7:22 What do you do for a living? 7:22 Manager in a retail store 7:23 You like it? 7:24 It pays the bills 7:24 lol 7:27 I work for a roofing contractor 7:28 must be slow for you this time of year 7:29 rotflmao 7:30 yeah … crickets 7:38 Would you like to meet? 7:41 Thanks, but I don’t know you 7:42 lol 7:44 But how can you know me unless we meet? 7:47 I’m sorry to be blunt, but this is not going to work This was a friggin 40 minute conversation!!! The only thing fast about this conversation was how quickly it went nowhere. Let’s start with a discussion about LOL. It isn’t a word. Let me repeat that, it isn’t a word! It is meant to convey your reaction to what was said. Personally, I don’t quibble about whether or not anyone actually laughed out loud, I accept that, in the digital world, it is the socially accepted way of indicating that you found the statement amusing. Here’s the problem though, look at that conversation, was anything said that was funny? Look again. And again. It’s just not there. The constant laughing is not appropriate to the situation. So you end up coming across as a demented psychopath. Am I having a conversation with the Joker? You know what it sounds like on my end of the conversation? 7:08 What are you up to today? 7:09 Nothing, just relaxing on the couch watching tv 7:09 ... OMG! I’M TALKING TO A GIRL! THIS IS AMAZING! THIS SITE ROCKS! 7:09 ... Don’t blow this, play it cool… 7:09 lol 7:09 ... Damn I’m smooth! 7:10 … 7:11 ... 7:11 ... Oh no! She’s not responding. Quick, come up with something else to say before she loses interest! 7:11 ... Umm… 7:11 It’s cold out, it’s a good day to stay in 7:11... Oh God, please let her response be something I can turn into something sexual ... and maybe I shouldn’t bring God into this … Confident men simply don't sound like this. Losers sound like this. Don't be that guy. There’s no mystery as to what’s going on here. This is what’s known as conversation filler or word fluff. He doesn’t know how to respond, so he’s throwing text on the screen to fill in the silence. He’s trying to give me an opening to say something. But instead of coming across as polite, it comes across as conversationally lazy. What he’s ultimately doing, intentionally or not, is hoping I’m going to get the conversation going for him. It’s trying to make it my fault for him having nothing to say. Look, if you started the conversation, then you’re driving the car … so drive! Don’t wait on me to do it for you. Worse yet, this is the worst type of word fluff … it’s not even using words. It’s lazy. Do you really think anyone here is impressed by your knowledge and use of text abbreviations? It doesn’t give me anything to respond to. It is a conversational dead end. Little wonder I don’t say anything. I have no other choice but to wait for you to say more. So guess what I do? That’s right, I sit there and wait for you to say something more. Again, notice the timestamps. It’s taking him 2 to 3 minutes to come up with something to say. And what he does come up with is hardly scintillating. It’s not progressing the conversation, it’s just wasting time hoping something interesting magically falls out. At this point, there is no way to salvage the conversation. Too much time got wasted saying, quite literally, nothing. So what should you do? That’s the million dollar question. Understand that the “introductory” questions (how are you, what are you up to today, what’s new, etc) are likely to get vague and unspecific responses. You need to be ready to roll with that. When you get the single most expected response of all time, don’t get confused. Don’t linger too long on the parts neither of you want to talk about. Instead plan ahead for things to immediately jump to that will be more interesting. You don’t even need a good segue. Just do it. It actually comes across smoother than you think. 7:08 What are you up to today? 7:09 Nothing, just relaxing on the couch watching tv 7:10 I would suggest relaxing with some eggnog, but does anyone actually drink eggnog? This is already vastly more interesting than any of the above conversation, and we haven’t even gotten to the juicy parts yet. |
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I'm mildly confused on what you're trying to accomplish . I guess you want to have a non-boring conversation but don't you want boring people to be boring so you know they're boring and don't waste your time ? By telling people how to seem interesting you're just setting yourself up to waste time with boring people pretending to be interesting . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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You are absolutely right about folks using nonsense in online conversations when just proper words would work so much better. Speaking of fluff, I once watched a very enjoyable movie called " The Fluffer " highly recommend it. Can't say I've ever been much of a fan of Eggnog.
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"lol" is way overused, and it's not meant to be used at the end of every single sentence! Somewhat related, I remember hanging out on Yahoo Chat a long time ago, when it was cool. One day, a guy messaged me, said, "Hello how ru" or something like that. I said, "Fine." There was a long pause, then he asked, "Why aren't you talking?" I answered, "Why did you start this chat if you have nothing to say? I'm not going to carry the conversation for you. So don't message women if you have nothing to say." I could go for a mug of eggnog now. Yum.
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I could come up with several different reasons for the time delay - site glitches, slow typist, multi-chatter, his mom called - but the mental vacuity stands on its own. Well said. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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LOL
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I LOVE eggnog!!!! Makes me sleep great! Your commentary is 100% on point! 
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Personally, I like eggnog. I don't get the hate.
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12/20/2018 7:42 am |
The LOL was a reach especially when you only mentioned you were watching a documentary. This person could have said any number of things to get the conversation going. If you are unable to grab someone's attention within the first minute or two on this site, you might as well forget about. The crickets probably took place for any number of reasons. I know the HotMatch.com IM isn't the greatest and there is a lag on receiving messages. You cant go from indicating what you do for a living to asking to meet. At least you let him know this isn't going to work.
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