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Kindle the Sizzle...
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Kindle the Sizzle... Has the sizzle fizzled out of your romantic relationship? Valentine’s Day is near, so why not reignite the spark and enjoy all the benefits your romantic bond can bring, which studies say include greater happiness and higher self-esteem. Many couples believe “companionship love” is a natural progression of a successful relationship, says Bianca P. Acevedo, Ph.D., lead author of a study published in Review of General Psychology. But that may be an unnecessary compromise, says Acevedo, of the University of California, Santa Barbara, and formerly Stoney Brook University. After reviewing 25 studies with 6,070 individuals in short- and long-term relationships, researchers determined that “romantic love” can indeed endure. It is associated with more satisfaction in the relationship as well as greater happiness and higher self-esteem, reported Science Daily. “Couples should strive for love with all the trimmings,” Acevedo said. “And couples who've been together a long time and wish to get back their romantic edge should know it is an attainable goal that, like most good things in life, requires energy and devotion.” The ideal place to begin is knowing and understanding your partner’s preferred “love language” or communication style. The field of neuro-linguistic programming has revealed three primary styles: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. To discover the love language of your partner, consider this advice from our Creating Sparks Paraliminal. Ask him or her three questions: 1) In order to feel loved, is it absolutely necessary that I look at you in a certain way? (visual) 2) In order to feel loved, is it absolutely necessary that I tell you I love you? (auditory) 3) In order to feel loved, is it absolutely necessary that I touch you in in a certain way? (kinesthetic) Every person has preference for how they like to receive love. In addition, people tend to give romantic expressions in the ways they prefer to receive them. For instance, visual romantics express love, caring, and affection by looking at their partner adoringly or sharing a beautiful sunset. Auditory romantics express love by telling their partner they love and appreciate them in a loving voice. Kinesthetic romantics express love by touching their partner in certain ways and embracing them lovingly. If you innately possess the same love language as your partner, intuitive expression of love can work naturally, almost effortlessly. But if you speak in a different love language from your partner, there’s an opportunity to move outside your comfort zone as you communicate in their preferred style. For example, if your partner is a visual romantic, plan activities you can enjoy together, such as a painting class, visiting a museum, or sightseeing where there are colorful and beautiful vistas—even if you’re colorblind. If your partner is an auditory romantic, treat him or her to a symphony or play, say kind, loving words often, read to each other, or recite poetry—even if the technique feels awkward at first. If your partner is a kinesthetic romantic, touch him or her lovingly, play sports or go dancing, or wear soft clothing such as cashmere—even if you are not the “touchy-feely” type. Apply the right love language to your relationship and you’ll keep the<b> romance </font></b>alive for as long as you both shall live! |
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