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Blogs > susanbak > thoughts and stuff

6 years  

susanbak 48F
113 posts
1/20/2015 7:44 am

Last Read:
12/2/2016 11:40 am
6 years

it's been six long years since the death of my some days are better then others this ones not so good the pain the anger the sadness I'm still learning to deal the only good thing that came from the husband fucking around is it gave me a place to focus all that rage and finally let some of it go or redirect it anyway sure I made her life hell but why not she was fucking my husband I'll get over this and as soon as possible I will move on the only thing I am waiting for now is my to outgrow will intentioned misinformed grandparents it's my own damn fault I've covered for him so well and so completely that they still have no idea how deep his drinking problem is hell if I hadn't found his mistress I'd still be in denial of it myself ah well life goes on we live we learn some days I miss my rose colored glasses ignorance is bliss not acknowledging it meant I didn't have to deal with it I've told both his parents and mine but since I didn't say anything until after he had his affair I come off as a snarky jaded wife trying to get back at her husband he is very very sorry and it will never ever happen again I am to forgive and forget and return to the way things were before

BEEFARAMA 48M
Ask me for a photo
232 posts
7/12/2019 4:45 pm

 Sorry for your loss. I do give the best hugs.


rickandannie6975 56M
1 post
1/27/2015 11:28 pm

 Its been 4years cent's my only son past I do no what you're filling


susanbak replies on 1/30/2015 7:37 pm:
I wish I could tell you that time makes it easier and maybe it does but I am not finding that counseling is supposed to help but knowing the stages of grief certainly doesn't make them any easier to go through

CynicusMaximus 52M
1844 posts
1/27/2015 9:02 pm

 This is probably one of the toughest blogs I've ever read. I realize anything said by a stranger can be way off the mark and really there are no words that will ever bring total comfort, but i hope you find your happiness again some day.

Take care out there.


susanbak replies on 1/30/2015 7:31 pm:
I think without extreme sadness we do not appreciate the joy in life most of the time I remember to be grateful for the life that he had me wallowing in misery is no way to honor his memory

scoupe42 60M
Ask me for a photo

1/25/2015 11:35 am

 Sorry about your loss, losing a child is devastating thing. And being in a awful relationship doesn't help matter. I got my finger crossed, and wishing someone good happen for you in 2015.


khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
1/20/2015 8:59 pm

 Forgive but never forget.
Find pleasure in giving pleasure


susanbak replies on 1/21/2015 5:22 pm:
I am finding both extremely difficult

Negril43 71M
4037 posts
1/20/2015 1:53 pm

 A momma shouldn't have to bury her young . Everybody deals with grief different I watched my mom crawl into the bottle over my twin brother death . There really isn't anything to do I sure wish she would have seeked help instead of seeing how fast she could die . Seen people tiptoe around not mentioning the name even . I wish that you find the answer to handle your grief I know it is large . I am so sorry you are going through this . It shouldn't happen but it does again I feel for you .


susanbak replies on 1/20/2015 3:15 pm:
thank you

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