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Some things We Just Don't Understand.....
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Some things We Just Don't Understand..... Recently P and I were talking about some recent things happening here that have us somewhat perplexed. Over the last month or two, we have had a number of flirts from folks overseas. Just today, one from the Philippines. Now we don't get this. Why would someone in Germany flirt? There is nothing that says we will be traveling overseas, nor that they are coming to the area. Strange..... And while we were talking, P commented on the number of flirts we have gotten from single men. Our profile states pretty clearly we aren't seeking single guys. Yet, the flirts keep coming. And usually from someone who hasn't even read our profile.....Only thing I can think is that these guys are playing the numbers game....send out enough, someone is sure to respond eventually..... Which leads me to the topics of flirts and hotlists. Why do Gold Members do that instead of just sending an email and saying Hi? That is what we do. Only reason I can come up with is that given the number of non responses to the emails we send, this is less threatening to the ego. And now on to that topic: Why is it people don't have the courtesy to at least reply with a no thanks? Getting no response to us means one of two things: either they didn't get the email, or they are so completely lacking in common courtesy we made a mistake sending it! Humorous incident- I had made contact with and had a couple of conversations with a couple- P didn't realize it and sent them another intro email - haven't heard from them since! Had they commented on it, would have made a good story that we BOTH liked the profile. Instead..... Funny thing - we don't meet all the folks who respond, quite a few of the ones we have met we have become friends with. Granted, there were a few we didn't click with, but for the most part we have met some really great folks. With the holidays rapidly approaching (Happy HallowThanksMas!) we know time becomes an issue. People are much busier (and in some cases much more stressed) and we get that. I know we are. (I've been Christmas shopping for a few months now - almost done!). P and I were discussing what is next for us. We are open to ideas about where our next adventure should take us. One thing is for certain - it will be fun! |
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MissCInders, as a couple we have no understanding of the experiences of a single woman. And from what you are saying, there is a risk of abuse and/or continued unwanted communication if you reply. However, we did find it quite humorous your status is currently "What is wrong with saying 'no thanks'?" For a person who feels you don't have to respond - who perpetuates the no response - to make that statement is somewhat hypocritical don't you think? We do understand you get bombarded with email. We get it. You can't respond to all. You pick and choose. And based on the unwanted email we get from single men, they are mostly one liners or crude. We agree those don't warrant a reply. However when someone does take the time to have read our profile, craft an email, they deserve a response. And we send it. And when we do that, we feel a response is appropriate. When we receive a No thanks, we wish them well and move on. Common courtesy and respect go a long way.
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I think that the all of you need to read the blogs here. You might have a different opinion when you see what women have to go through in each of these instances. It really makes my butt twitch when I get messages from men, women and even couples that are in foreign countries. Magic carpets do not exist and I have no desire to deal with them. I call them the Far and the Furious. Because thats what they are and that is how they get when rejected. I have come to the conclusion that it makes not one particle of difference what someone has written in their profile. Most can't read profiles and the ones that can read, simply do not comprehend. I am not or never will be interested in married men but yet, they seem to overlook that part of my profile. And, yes, I know, I don't know what I am missing. Flirts/hotlist is a waste of time in my opinion. Serves no purpose and I never pay attention to them. I often wonder the same thing. If you are a gold member, what is the purpose of hotlisting/flirting when you can reach out and touch someone. Gold members should be using their membership to their advantage. Now for the "no response" issue. Part One. I don't feel that I have to reply to anything that I do not want to. I don't feel that anyone is obligated to do so. This is where you should read the blogs about this very topic. Do you realize how many messages we can get at any given time? Who has time to respond to every piece of communication? I know I don't. I would need to hire a secretary to do this for me. Part Two. If you are brave enough to respond with "no thanks or not interested" then here comes the name calling. Or, the other thing that happens is when you respond with a "no thanks or not interested" the next question is "why not" or "whats the problem"? Really, you need a reason? "No" isnt sufficient? Remember that secretary I mentioned above? Now, I would need to pay her overtime to reply to the replies. No reply = not interested. Move on.
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