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Cheating - the emotional & visceral response
Cheating - the emotional & visceral response This post is only viewable by HotMatch.com members. Join HotMatch.com now! |
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This topic is never going to go away or change. I do not see married men as I am not here to help anyone cheat. It is my preference and I am entitled to it. I do not judge those that are married. It's their life and no skin off my nose. However, I have a hissy fit when I get challenged or questioned "why not". As if they need an answer from me. When they don't get the answer they are looking for well look out. Here comes the name calling, or the preverbial response "I don't know what I'm missing" blah blah blah. Kinda hard NOT to judge or tear them a new one when being attacked. Not to mention the multitude of emails I get. I think I need to hire a secretary to handle these types of people as they are surely a waste of my time.
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One small correction, I never told our children what happened or talk badly about their father. They were told by a relative against my wishes. Furthermore I have encouraged in every way for them to have a positive relationship with him and include him in all family holidays and activities should he care to attend. I write here about whatever I wish for my own entertainment and release. My opinions are my own. Agree, disagree, debate, its all interesting. One post doesn't show all of whom a person is or what they're made of, but that's whays so great about blogland, peeking inside anothers head and getting different ideas and views.
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I agree with the sentiment that good people sometimes do bad things. It was a child that told mine as she was seeing, or at least hearing it, in the house across from mine. It was all very unfortunate. The custody stuff was and is actually seperate. While I laugh at the karma I get to see with other adults that know some or part of the story from either here or because I'm in a small community that knew what was going on before I did, I don't add to his own self harm. Maybe its petty, but being betrayed so thouroughly changes a person. The abuse... is a seperate issue. We are actually on fairly good terms now as he has supervised visits in my home once a week and has had it so for several years now. My blog wasn't even about him, but in the comments I did mention the biggest reason I feel so strongly against cheating. For the record, I have known cheaters deeply sorry for their actions, and do not think they are horrible people. I guess its a matter of selfish callousnes that makes the difference to me. But then again, that's just me. All due respect for the polite discussion.
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It is a bit odd that in a realm devoted to eros - so much judgement about 'extra marital' lustful desires exists. I get the sense of anger by a lover being lied to about a paramours true status - but amongst the grown up, willing and informed - why would others weigh in with objection? sadly the whole cheating thing is perhaps more comment on the breakdown of communication than anything. so many relationships grow dysfunctional, while a strong societal ethos treats separation as failure - leaving people cope as best they can and often seeking solace and passion where they can find it. the old adage of loneliness being even more so when not alone is as true today as ever - and just as apt to see the same response - only now women are equally liberated to partake. nice writing guys.
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Well written .. kudos
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Life is complicated. Some married women do cheat because their husbands are uninterested in sex with them. Some married people cheat so they can remain married. Why remain married if you have to cheat? Children, jobs, better lifestyle than you can afford on your own. Avoidance of legal costs and damages from divorce, etc. Some spouses prefer the other spouse to get sex elsewhere. Yes, really... Life is complicated.
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Very well said. I used to be close minded, as I was the one cheated on. Since being on here and in the dating world again, I am not. With that being said, there is that percentage of people, men and women, that do cheat. It is what it is. and yes life is complicated.................thegrls Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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