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One thing I like about AFF  

GoldenRetrieverX 61M
34 posts
11/2/2010 9:58 am
One thing I like about AFF


When I'm on HotMatch.com I don't see the other guys just like me. And that's OK by me. I don't want to see them, I want to see the ladies et al. that I am interested in.

Even though I know there are tons of guys out there, I'd rather ignore them and pretend they are not there. Maybe I should be doing some competitive research, but I don't.

I wonder why? Is it some unwritten rule among the brotherhood that we stand alone? Do women size up the competition? No, I think it is depressing and stressful to think about the competition. When I look at the "Friends Network" on the profiles of potential adult friends, I get this yuck feeling. It is somewhere between envy and despondence. I'm thinking, look at all these guys, some of them even have good pitches, and they are already on the list! Shit...

That's why I do not show my "Friends" on my profile, at least to non-friends. It could be discouraging to a potential adult friend. What do you think?

Yeah I'm happy to be in my bubble and stand for who I am. To hell with the competition. I've got a monopoly on Me

At least that's what I tell myself.

firegryphon 54F
5903 posts
11/2/2010 11:25 am

I'm going to be brutally honest here. The whole ignoring other men thing...screams insecurity to me. I filter out those guys - I don't have the patience for it. Part of that is because I'm in a relationship and we're both swingers, so if a guy is insecure - he's going to be a problem. But, to some extent - insecure men have always been a problem for me even before I got into this relationship. If a guy can't even be sociable with other men, he's REALLY not going to be able to socialize with me.

Let's face it - this is a social networking site with an adult bent on it. They can advertise it as a free whorehouse all they want, but it doesn't change what this site REALLLY is.

The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.


GoldenRetrieverX replies on 11/2/2010 1:46 pm:
FG - You are probably right. But, don't we all have our insecurities? At least I'm willing to examine mine, in a very public forum.

Most of what I was saying is that I like HotMatch.com because it does not prey on my insecurities. When, I'm on here I rarely think about the other guys. I'm much more focused on establishing contacts with people that interest me. I relax, have a little fun and fantasy, and leave the stress at work.

Thanks for your comments.

Msboobsy 70F
5972 posts
11/3/2010 3:57 am

When I'm interested in someone, if they have their friends showing I will look at some of the profiles just to see what kind of woman they are interested in. I don't feel like it is competition, because if their list is like mine they don't even chat with most of them. I go though my list every couple of months to weed out the ones I've never chatted with.


GoldenRetrieverX replies on 11/3/2010 5:39 am:
Msboobsy, don't you know I only have eyes for you... ...those tarts on my "friends" lists are just fantasy girls. You are the real deal

Oh and I be sending the "Friend" invite shortly...

mouillet2 61F

11/3/2010 7:02 am

I am with Msboobsy.
I have cyber friendships with some of my network, but not that many.
I also check out the profiles of people in a network of someone who looks interesting.
And may I just say.....When someone answers a blog post they should answer it in a polite manner. One can get a point across while being polite and respectful of the blogger.
Remember the ''Block'' feature.

https://secureimage.securedataimages.com/images/common/chat/smilies/wave.gif


GoldenRetrieverX replies on 11/3/2010 9:01 am:
Bad manners always reflects poorly on the impolite. I have a thick skin, and it would take a lot for me to ban someone. (Please, nobody take that as a challenge.)

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

firegryphon 54F
5903 posts
11/3/2010 11:46 am

    Quoting firegryphon:
    I'm going to be brutally honest here. The whole ignoring other men thing...screams insecurity to me. I filter out those guys - I don't have the patience for it. Part of that is because I'm in a relationship and we're both swingers, so if a guy is insecure - he's going to be a problem. But, to some extent - insecure men have always been a problem for me even before I got into this relationship. If a guy can't even be sociable with other men, he's REALLY not going to be able to socialize with me.

    Let's face it - this is a social networking site with an adult bent on it. They can advertise it as a free whorehouse all they want, but it doesn't change what this site REALLLY is.
We do indeed. I think I better understand what you were saying. I don't think it is so obvious how sites like this can play on a man's insecurities in general.

The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.


GoldenRetrieverX replies on 11/3/2010 5:04 pm:
It is hard not to play on men's insecurities. We are constantly bombarded with messages to compete, keep up and stand out. Viagra, sports, money, cars, watches, women, etc. Especially, in the American culture of individual exceptionalism.

It should be no surprise that so many men on HotMatch.com have enormous penises, washboard abs and limitless wealth. Or at least their profiles and fake pics say they do. And, it is not just HotMatch.com. I think it is worse on other sites. (Of course my profile is the exception )

You know you ladies ought to think about all the competitive pressure you put on us guys. The crap we go through to get laid is unbelievable! And it is wired into us, we are totally helpless. Think about the poor guys at the low end of the spectrum. No wonder they go off the deep end so often.

So, next time you are out pick up some poor schmoe who looks like he has the charm of a gnat and sex appeal of a frog. Shimmy up to him and throw him the proverbial bone! He probably gets no attention at all and will look on your attention like water in the dessert. That will be one happy grateful bastard

Insecurely yours, CT

firegryphon 54F
5903 posts
11/5/2010 7:06 am

    Quoting firegryphon:
    We do indeed. I think I better understand what you were saying. I don't think it is so obvious how sites like this can play on a man's insecurities in general.
Aahhh there we agree. I think in general women create most of their own headaches. This concept that men should NOT do what is natural and be their "doggish" selves is ridiculous. Let them be themselves and you'll have fewer headaches and a lot more fun (My Fiance's penis always has the bestest ideas!)

I lack the fortitude and patience to be bothered with the greek god types. Most of my female friends I've met through here think the same way I do.

The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.


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