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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
The clit vacuum is real people - and it's here
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The clit vacuum is real people - and it's here One of my staple blog posts is making fun of a listicle . It works on two levels - first I talk about how stupid listicles are and then I post what essentially is a listicle . And second I'm not creating anything I'm just tearing down the work of others . It's a formula but it works . I had the perfect target in mind - 40 ways to enhance your sex life after 40 . It was an easy target for many reasons to the least of which was that they clearly only had about 20 items (is there a term for the elements of a list ? I feel like there is) and stretched it out to 40 because people like doing that thing where you use a number twice . However I was de-railed in mid-snark by item #16 - Try a clit vacuum . And I quote "According to Harvard University, the Eros Clitoral Therapy Device uses a gentle vacuum to increase genital flow to the area — and in clinical trials, women were super impressed: 90% felt more sensation in the area after using it, and 80% had increased sexual satisfaction." Sidenote the article said nothing about 40 ways for women to enhance their sex life after 40 but several of the list pieces were things like that that clearly are for women only . And what's the implication there ? That only women need to worry about enhancing their sex life after 40 . And what's the implication there ? Clearly that women can skate by on their looks until 40 at which point they really need to get with it sexually to interest men . Which is shameful . Bestlifeonline you should be ashamed . Anyway , back to the clit vacuum . The listicle said that it was $250 but it looks like it's now $280 . Damn inflation . Eros Therapy is available by prescription only ! Don't be fooled if you're buying it off Amazon you're not get the REAL clit vacuum because only a doctor can dispense the power of the true clit vacuum . Here's what the website says about this product "Thousands of women have experienced the benefits of Eros Therapy that include: increased lubrication, clitoral sensation, ability to achieve an orgasm, and overall improvement in sexual satisfaction. Eros Therapy is a device that provides a natural way to recondition your sexual response." Sadly there are no reviews . My question is this - the literature is all about increasing your ability to enjoy sex with a partner but once you have the clit vacuum what do you need a partner for am I right ladies ? And check this shit out - Eros therapy may be covered through your medical insurance ! Aw snap . If you're not asking your doctor about a clit vacuum right now I don't understand why . From the FAQ - "At first, it may feel strange to use a device. However, with time, it gets to be like second nature. If you feel hesitant or scared at first, don’t worry. It may help to talk about your feelings with your partner. This is an opportunity to for you to start reconditioning your body’s response. You are seeking a solution that can help you feel empowered and back in control of your sexual response, and that’s a good thing." That's actually not some bad language to use in my profile "It may feel strange at first to have sex with 40deuce , however with time you'll get used to it . This is an opportunity to start reconditing your body to awkward foreplay . It's a good thing . " "Vibrators are sex-aids used for sexual and sensual stimulation to the female genitalia; however, they do not improve blood flow or lubrication. Eros works longer-term, improves sensation and improves lubrication. Many women in the clinical study failed self-stimulation and vibrator usage but had good results with Eros therapy." Many women failed self-stimulation and vibrator usage - that makes it sound like those are classes . "Wendy why weren't you in self-stimulation class today ?" "Oh I skipped to study for vibrator usage ." "We had a pop quiz ! And since you weren't there you're probably going to fail self-stimulation !" "Shit, looks like I'll be taking self-stimulation in summer school . But at least I aced my vibrator usage final - I broke that fucker in half ." The website also says this 'You are not alone. Join other women and learn more about this condition. Take our quiz." But I could find no quiz . I was going to take the hell out of that quiz . Please note this post is in no way intended to make light of anyone experiencing symptoms of sexual arousal disorder , such as vaginal dryness , reduced genital sensation , and/or inability to achieve orgasm . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I told y'all, I'm livin' my best life (woo) I told y'all, I said I'm livin' my best life (ayy) I made a couple M's with my best friends Turned all my L's into lessons (skrrt, skrrt) You see the whip pullin' up, it's like "skrrt" (like skrrt) Dreams pullin' up, it's like "skrrt" (like skrrt) I'm livin' my best life Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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9/1/2018 8:22 am |
Many women failed self-stimulation and vibrator usage - that makes it sound like those are classes . "Wendy why weren't you in self-stimulation class today ?" "Oh I skipped to study for vibrator usage ." "We had a pop quiz ! And since you weren't there you're probably going to fail self-stimulation !"
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I didnt fail at all
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Hm, that is very interesting, but I need more scientific details on how a device that increases blood flow to your clit manages to make you produce more lubrication (that is, more lubrication than would be produced via "normal" arousal with a vibrator?). But heck, if it's covered by insurance...or even if I could get it reimbursed out of my health savings account...sign me up. For science!   
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Thats interesting, but I've always just brought my own clit vacuum along where ever I go. I keep it right under my nose. It seems to work pretty good, and it's almost guaranteed to take care of the lubrication issues brought up by smartass woman. Biggest benefit, it's not only free, I usually will even buy you a nice dinner before.  Seriously though, it is amazing what they come up with. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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OMG! I didn't realize that my clit was dusty! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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9/1/2018 1:42 pm |
DUH! Clit pumps have been around for years! U need to get ur listicles untangled! 
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9/1/2018 2:26 pm |
Thats interesting, but I've always just brought my own clit vacuum along where ever I go. I keep it right under my nose. It seems to work pretty good, and it's almost guaranteed to take care of the lubrication issues brought up by smartass woman. Biggest benefit, it's not only free, I usually will even buy you a nice dinner before. Seriously though, it is amazing what they come up with. Cums completely assembled, fully charged, lubed and ready for service!
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I'm pretty sure that was TicklePlease. But I can't remember if the sex toy in question was a clit pump.
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