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No more guns in the valley
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No more guns in the valley We had our first significant snow here in the great state of Iowa . The good new is that my animal pal Pepito has returned . Although as much as I love Pepito it is a mixed blessing when I see him because he only comes this far south when it's going to be a really brutal winter . It's bittersweet when I get to hang with him .  The bad news is of course that as often happens with the first major snowfall the wolves were out in force . It makes sense , early in the season is when you can find the easy pickings - people who moved here from Florida who don't own an ice scraper , young folks driving for their first time in winter , older folks who are losing a step on the ice , etc. There's no sentiment in nature . Survive at any cost . I remember the first time I saw the wolves come for someone . I was 11 and I was out shoveling with my dad and my uncle Randalberry and a friend of his from college , Esau . My sisters were clowning around in the backyard . I remember the sound of my mom screaming from inside the house but what was all the more horrifying was the look on terror that came over my dad's face . The first time you see true fear in one of your parent's is a earthshaking experience . They're your parents , how could they be afraid of anything ? My mom was looking out the bay window in the back and saw a wolf snapping at my sister . Randallberry and my dad ran to the back , I think he told me to stay where I was but I just followed them out of instinct . A scrawny mottled wolf had my sister by the arm I thought , turned out it actually had a hold of her jacket , and her one mitten was off and blood was all over her hand . My older sister was holding onto her and kicking and failing at the wolf like crazy . It was madness . Sidenote it's interesting how much my sisters fight and scream at each other and legitimately seem to hate each other but as whenever something went down they always risked life and limb for each other . And it's easy to say well that's what family does , but I know plenty of families that fuck each other over all the time . So I'm curious how that happens . What makes someone lay down their life for a person they don't even really like ? I stood there frozen , the sight of blood on the ground was incomprehensible to me , but my dad and uncle chased the beast off . The way it would dash back and forth seemed crazy to me at the time . Down from my sister's coat was flying all over the place like snow and it seemed almost to me like the wolf was dancing or playing . I realize now what was going on . As my dad got my sisters trundled inside Randalberry and I went back around to the front yard - Esau was gone . Just a few drops of blood and wolf tracks all over the place . I've often wondered did it happen silently or did we just not hear over the commotion in the backyard ? It didn't seem real . One minute a man was there and the next he's gone - never to laugh or love or live again . Just gone . Forever . Since then I've seen them skulking about during the winters here and there but today was the first time I've had to deal with them . Pepito knew they were coming - either heard or smelled them - and he alerted me . He wanted to fight them , he always wants to fight , he's a squirrely little fellow but he as not fear in him . But he wouldn't last 4 seconds against even the smallest wolf . I sent him into the garage and shut the door while the pack gathered around me . I stood tall and strong , shovel in hand , showing them I wasn't going to go down easy - it should have been enough . They should have moved on to look for softer prey , but they didn't . Sometimes things just don't go your way you know ? Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows , it will kick you right in the ass if you let it . Many a wolf was slain today at my hands . And as always when you have to defend yourself you wonder , what's it all about ? What's the point of it all ? Are we fooling ourselves that it's anything other than nature bloody in tooth and claw ? They came at me because they needed food to live . I have food , I could have given them food . But where does it end ? If I give them all the food they need to survive will I have enough left for me ? Why do they deserve it more than I do ? They'd kill Pepito if they got the chance , does that make them evil ? Does it make me good that I protected him know that he'll eat hundreds of mice and baby birds next Spring ? Where does one life end and the next begin ? If we're all connected what are we doing to each other ? Where was Santa while all this was going down ? If he sees everything why didn't he help me ? Why don't documentary film crews help baby otters when the mamba comes for them ? Why don't I help old Crazy Pete when he stands on the corner begging for money ? Who I am ? Who are any of us ?  All I know is that in the end I enjoy life and it's pleasures and if someone tries to take that away from me I fight back . Is that right ? Is that wrong ? I don't know . I just know that it is . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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That's a very dark meditation on this Christmas Eve - but well written. I hope you'll do more like this. I just got through season 1 of Fargo (slow going when you're doing it via netflix DVD). What are your thoughts on wolf in the last episode? When he was first spotted in the middle of the road I almost thought it was Malvo (since characters had referred to him as being supernaturally evil). But then later he's looking out the window of the cabin and sees the wolf.   
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