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A blog for nuns and virgins
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A blog for nuns and virgins It's been said that the unexamined life isn't worth living , which isn't true but I like a little life examination every now and then . I spent yesterday night in quiet self reflection and I realized that there's something missing , something that is going to change everything . This is the decisive moment of my life where for good or ill things will never be the same . What does every person you admire , every successful person , ever person that's got the "it" factor have in common ? They have an iconic look . The look is key . Whether it be (note to self , also change name to Weathersby) David Bowie with his lightening bolt facepaint , Michael Jackson with one sequined white glove , Captain American with his shield , John Wayne with his cowboy hat , Kate Upton with her tits , Jerry Seinfeld with his puffy shirt or my buddy Cowlick with his red sash you can't deny that the reason for their success is linked directly to their fostered of a specific look . And that's the kind of the mojo I need risin' for me . So my signature look will be a white dress shirt tucked into pink sweatpants , Five Ten Dragon Lace-Up Climbing Shoes , a Nightwing symbol beanie and my GI Joe dogtags from when I was a wee lad . I'm about to be rich bitches ! I mean can you even spot me in this picture from my old life ?  No you can not because I look exactly like every other unsuccessful chubby moron in the world . But that's gonna change ya dig ? Dream alert ! Some people say “last night I dreamt that . . .” I always say “I had a dream last night” and then launch into the particulars . Which isn’t quite grammatically correct , it should be “I had a dream last night and it consisted of the following” . Also if you believe science we have dreams every night so really it should be “I remember one dream that I had last night and it consisted of the following .” Anyway , I had a dream last night that my company had a big conference in London . Why in London ? Dream bro . Also how did I know it was in London ? No one said it . There was no sign that said “London” of course since you can’t read in a dream . Keep that in mind for when an evil dreammaster starts messing with you and you’re not sure if you’re in a dream or not – pick up a book , if the words in it are just weird squiggles you’re dreamin’ mate . So myself and some of the other deadbeats are sitting around snarking and through his big bay window we see a dude with a pistol approaching the building . And we’re like “huh , there’s a gun with a gun out there” and we watch him enter in the building and we hear shots and we go “I guess we should run or something right ?” So we exit the building in a calm and orderly manner and we’re moving from cover to cover and keeping a watch and things that seem logical and appropriate instead of what surely would really happen in that situation which is everyone screaming their heads off and tear-ass running in random directions . There’s no open spaces , the city has something of a maze-like aspect (which I have heard about London , so good job making it “realistic” dream architect) so we’re kind of trapped but we’re trying to move about . So we see a dude coming out of an apartment building and we bum rush the door and file inside . Most realistic part of the dream – as we’re surging into the building like semen into a vagina one person forgets to hold the door open and it nearly swings shut before I can get in . Once we’re in the building and hanging around the stairwell I wonder why no one is on their cellphone telephone . You really blew it there dream architect , although I wonder if that’s because I’m one of the 4 non-smartphone people in the world so my subconscious doesn’t have that piece in its toolkit . Because dreams can’t stay unweird for too long the redhead from Grounded For Life (I loved that show you know , remember how one of the just disappeared in the final season ? ) comes out of one of the apartments and says she has a key to an empty “flat” on the top floor . So we go in there and wouldn’t you know it there’s no exterior walls – the thing is just open to the air . And much like the skycells at the Eyrie the floor is sloped towards the edge . So I says to the redhead from grounded for life I says “No wonder you have trouble renting this one , know what I’m saying ?” Then I woke up , but just for the sake of dreaminess let’s saying a bunch of crows flew into the room and turned into Victoria’s Secret models and they were like “Ah man , VS is going out of business we need money” so we worked together and built a rocket that blew up the moon and we got all the gold in the middle and we were all rich and we totally banged . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Re, the new look, have you considered baton twirling in a silvery suit? [image] Granted it wouldn't be entirely original. Better stick with the white dress shirt and pink sweatpants.   
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Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I closed my eyes as soon as I read your title (since I'm not a nun nor a virgin). Am I gonna be in trouble? Can I open them now, is the blog over? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I analysed your dream. You feel pursued by a titty honking woman. Vive La Difference
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