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Make my cock great again
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Make my cock great again A while back Amy Schumer was asking women what movie title describes their vagina and a black lady said "The Color Purple" and I had a whole bit I was going to do about that but then just moments ago I realized that I was mixing up the Color Purple with Purple Rain - which is silly nonsense you can make mock of whereas the Color Purple is not . So scratch that idea ! Did you know there's a stage version of the Hobbit ? I didn't . Since I now have my groceries delivered like a jerk and I haven't learned to sleep in yet I got up this morning to go for a run - I keep being told that running outside is somehow better than running on the treadmill , although the reasons given are vague to the point I suspect they're pure bullshit (not that Mexican shit they cut with mud) . It was early boy so I figured it would cool enough for exercise but man oh man was I wrong . I walk outside and it's like a punch in the face . According to my Batman wrist weatherputer it was 5000 degrees Celsius with 896% humidity . And I know what you're thinking "40 , you can't have higher than 100% humidity !" but that is widely believed misconception (which I just realized should be the term for when you make a mutant baby) . Humidity is a measure of the moisture content in the air , but 100% humidity doesn't mean you're underwater right ? It just means that the air is saturated , and it can be supersaturated I tell you what . In such a situation the introduction of impurities will provide condensation nuclei that will initiate cirrus cloud formation . Its like this , if my cock is in your mouth you can measure how much of it is in your mouth by percentage if you want (which would be weird , but whatever) and when its all the way you on could say that your mouth is 100% saturated with my cock . But there's still room for more cocks . You could probably get another small one in your mouth , plus there's the asshole , the vagina , you could pend your arm back and a dude could fuck your elbow cease , there's the knee crease , etc. the point is even though you're at 100% cock capacity there's still plenty of cocks that could in play .  And much like supersaturated air I bet its pretty uncomfortable . By the by which is worse , a cock that's bigger than you like or a cock that's smaller than you like ? I assume bigger is worse but that's probably just because I have a smaller one . As you all know I get into things about 7-11 years after the rest of the world , if you want to remember what people were like in 2007 we should hang . Anyway , I've gotten on the podcast bangwagon lately and lo and behold just this week my two favorite podcasts went from being free to costing $$$ . Its annoying , how dare people want something in return for their time and effort ! Seriously though , paying for a podcast episode seems like a real gamble . Even the ones I really like it depends on the guest , some of them suck and you never really know what you're going to get . In Our Time is always good , but who wants to listen to that while working out ? Media fragmentation is really starting to piss me off - how many different things am I supposed to pay for ? It may only be a couple bucks , but it begins to add up . Maybe I should just go back to when my main forms of entertainment were writing and reading . BAHAHAHA ! Can you even imagine ! Entertaining myself ! Madness ! I'll never go back ! I watched Me and Earl and the Dying Girl yesterday , it was a bummer of course but you know that going in . It was quite good but it bummed me out for a completely different reason . At one point Rachel tells the main dude that after she dies he can go back to being "Invisible , detached , and self-hating" . Which pretty well describes me to a T (what's the origin of that expression) . One of the undercurrents of this film was that the main dude , who was a , hated himself and avoiding engaging with the world and that this was childish behavior that he needed to grow out of in the next few years . Since I'm almost 40 and still like this its kind of depressing . But how do you stop hating yourself ? Anything I've read or been told about it just boils down to "just stop it" which is not very helpful advice . The other thing I took away from the movie is that I would totally bang Connie Britton - she's still looking pretty dang good .  I also caught an episode of Star Trek DS9 the other day - it was one I hadn't seen because it was in the period after the show started to suck . In the Pale Moonlight I believe it was called . DS9 was "darker" than most Star Trek shows , but that's like saying Big Bang Theory is more racy than NCIS - technically its true but ya know ? Anyway , this one was pretty cynical for Star Trek , in that the Federation cons the Romulans into entering the dumb war on their side and straight up murders a couple people to do it . Which is no big deal really compared to Breaking Bad or Narcos etc. but for Star Trek that's pretty messed up . DS9 was one of those shows that was really good in the beginning but got so bad at the end you forget how good it was . My favorite episode , which may also be one of my favorite TV episodes altogether is the one where the dude comes to the station and impersonates a war criminal so he can get caught - the big reveal being that he was a clerk at the camp where the war criminal dude (who was actually dead) was doing the stuff and he was traumatized by what happened there and he wanted the victims to get some kind of justice . That's pretty heady stuff for a basically upbeat sci-fi franchise . Also I thought the dude did a good job of portraying the unrepentant war criminal "I did what was best for my country so fuck y'all !" and the actual dude who was haunted by his small part in what happened . Yesterday my friend Bayonne got her aboveground pool (redneck ! ) set up and I was over there chilling with her and her crew - naked of course - and I realized that there's some liberating about being nude with a bunch of lesbians . I'm sure they found me disgusting , but it didn't matter you know ? I didn't have to worry about my disgustingness , it was nice . I tell you one thing , one of those lesbians had some really great tits . I hadn't seen hairy bushes in a while either - it was different . And finally , one of my friend's wives made me a totally cool painter of Slimer (you know , from Ghostgusters) and I think I'm going to hang it at work . That way when someone comes up to me and ask me if they can do something stupid I can turn to it and say "What do you think Slimer ?" and then turn back and go "Sorry man , Slimer's not into it , I fought for you but he's just not going for it" . And then they'll be like "40 you're a real asshole you know that ?" and then I can turn to Slimer and say "can you believe this guy ?!" . Oh man , its going to be great . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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^ that was a nice comment. You go, TheFunAsexual! 1) In my younger days I probably would have chosen "too big" over "too small". Now that my lady parts have become more delicate, that ruling would be reversed. 2) Coincidentally right after I read this post, I read an article in my health club magazine about how walking in nature reduces rumination (i.e. negative thoughts about yourself). I don't know if that's your thing or if you have any nature areas near where you live, but maybe it's a better early morning option than trying to run in 895% humidity. For what it's worth, I think you're pretty cool so can't you see that by hating yourself you are disliking something that I like and thereby offending me? Stop it!   
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40, everyone who hates them selves should just stop, they don't have to do that anymore, there are probably tons of other people who hate them so it's all good
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The dictionary definition is just to contemplate or think deeply about something, But apparently as used in psychology, it's to "obsessively think about something that is distressing you, focusing on negative consequences rather than solutions".
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