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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Hard pubes and shriveled balls
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Hard pubes and shriveled balls That's what I'm bringing to the table . Eat up ! As I was driving to work I passed a church and their sign out front , its not a billboard but you know what I mean - the analog FB status , said "Jesus : Making America Great Again" . And it got me thinking to how Jesus would fair in a US political campaign . Not very well I don't think . A message of love and peace in this day and age ? He'd be crucified . I just have this image in my head of Jesus at the debate podium being berated by some bible-thumping Republican telling him what God wants and the King of Kings just looking sad and hanging his head . Poor Jesus , he's too gentle for the world of politics . Every year someone asks me "What are you doing for Saint Patrick's Day ?" and I say "Oh is that today ?" No offense (well some) to whoever but I don't consider that a "real" holiday , its like Flag Day or Arbor Day , its a thing but its not a holiday . If you want to get blind ass drunk and vomit green just do it , you don't need to pretend it has anything to do with anything . My point is this , I said something about Saint Patrick driving all the snakes out of Ireland and everyone gave me blank stares . I thought what was a generally known thing . The more I thought about it though the more I decided that is a really weird miracle . Some people don't like snakes and once every 17 years someone dies from a snakebite but mostly snakes aren't a big deal . If anything in an agrarian society snakes are an important tool for rat suppression . If anything getting rid of all the snakes was a bad idea . Its probably what caused the potato famine - without the snakes around to eat the rats the rats ate all the potatoes .  Millions of people died 40 you shouldn't make mock of famines ! Saint Urho casting all the grasshoppers out of Finland is more practical - they're a real pest to farmers , but on the other hand Finland isn't an island so I assume they just came back like when that one girl cast me out of her apartment . I just hopped back later . Maybe he banished them to the Phantom zone . A girl did that to me once too . But I hooked up with Ursa so it was cool . At first . I was chatting today with my buddy Monogram Ken about the whole "are there negative emotions thing" and he said that you need sadness to be able to appreciate when you're not sad . I call bullshit on that . Let say I put a vise on your head and tighten it down as much as I can without killing you - that's going to make you appreciate then times in your life when you didn't have a vise on your head a lot more , but you still don't want to submit to regular head-visery . And I submit to you that you would be able to enjoy non head vising without experiencing it or even knowing what it was . "But 40 , head vise or not I know what pain is , that's the point" . Is it ? Maybe it is . I just can't factor it , if you meet some dude on an island who knows nothing and has never felt pain somehow would you stomp on his dick thinking that would make him happier overall ? I don't think it works like that . Is vise-head sex a thing bondage people do ? Seems like it would be . Is it ignorant and offensive that whenever I talk about some weird painful thing I ask if its something bondage people do ? Seems like it is . This is the kind of head vise I like ;  So sparkly ! Now for the best part of a blog . You know a joke is good when you have to explain why its funny ahead of time . As you all know I play Magic (the Gathering) because I am a huge dork . There's several different formants of competitive Magic and the one I've been doing a lot lately is "Standard" . So the other day I says to my pals Peppercorn and Alpha-Mail "Who's ready for some Standard action ?" and it occurred to me that's what I should ask the ladies . Because my action is pretty standard . There's going to be some kissing , some stroking , a little nipple stuff , I'll go down on you until a minute or two after I get bored , then we smash for a couple minutes , I ejaculate like crazy and then wonder if you were pleased at all and if I should do more stuff but I don't really know what that stuff would be , then I think "eh if she wanted more stuff she'd ask" , then some cuddling , then I start asking weird hypothetical questions . You know pretty standard stuff . That's what women want right ? Predictable mechanical sex . JK I know women don't like sex ! LOL right ? And finally , I read an article in Vanity Faire the other day about how women aren't funny . I am so sick of that argument I never want to hear about it again BUT setting aside the main premise the article did have some interesting points . Such as when a babe is talking about her new man how often does she say "I met this guy and he's SO funny ?" A goodly proportion of the time yeah ? Have you ever heard a dude say that about his new woman ? I haven't . The idea was that being funny is a way to impress people that doesn't rely on physical appearance and that's a dude thing - just trying to impress people in general and doing it with actions rather than looks in specific . Which seems like a thing . Dudes are always coming up with ways to scam on women , but women generally aren't - and when they are the scam is usually the same scam - shove boobs in face . Probably because its a scam that works - like the old Dallas Flop and Drop . My chum Stevie Walrus and I used to run that all the time down in Harrisburg . Til the sheriff took a blast at us with a shotgun full of rock salt . I didn't get hit but Stevie got an assfull of salt - and that's no joke . Speaking of assfulls the other day I had a physical and when the lady had her finger up my butt I says to her I says "Sometimes I think I might like assplay , can you move it back and forth a little bit ?" But she wouldn't do it . Whatever happened to service in this country ? Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I knew about St. Patrick and the snakes but no one has ever told me .... where did the snakes go? Finland? Is that how St. Urho got rid of the locusts? They were eaten by snakes? Weird philosophical question - you owe me a cuddle. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Love the sexy photos
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Hey if I could become a blowjob queen at the age of 48, it's not too late for you to move past Standard Sex. But then you don't seem to really mind that it plays out that way.  
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