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My name is 40Deuce , I'm 34 years old and I don't know what 3rd base is
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My name is 40Deuce , I'm 34 years old and I don't know what 3rd base is In my long and illustrious sexual shenanigans , in which I've gotten totally nude and did "stuff" with literally ones of sexy ladies , I have never been able to figure out the whole baseball/sex metaphor . Part of if it is probably because I hate baseball . A lot . But also probably some of if is my own obliviousness . I don't feel so bad because I've asked plenty of ladies and they didn't know either . Plus I'm sure these days don't even use this metaphor anymore , but I would like to know . Here's what I've figured out ; 1st Base - Kissing (Can be nice for a while but my lips start to vibrate and feel really weird after a couple minutes) 2nd Base - Boobytown (A lovely gated community that I wish I could visit more , but I'm not the sort they let into those fancy establishments very often) 3rd Base - ? Home Base - Combining to form Voltron (as the say) The less said about 5th base the better . So obviously I'm missing something . Some people say that 3rd base is the same as 2nd , only under the shirt/bare breasted . Others say that its touching home base but not actually going all the way . I find neither of these explanations plausible . Look at the evidence - a clear line is formed down the body . You go from the lips , to the chest , to the other lips . And what's in between ? The belly button ? 3rd base is the belly button ? Sick Seriously you people are messed up . I have nothing against the belly button per say , but I don't want to have sex with it either . Or really mess with it at all . You know that's basically an umbilical hole right ? And you're working that into your love making ? I kind of want to throw up right now . Not that I'm judging you belly button humping weirdos - this is America , you do your thing . But I want no part of your dirty dealings - even though I would defend to my death your right to deal them . Are there any other logical possibilities ? Well , a baseball field is a diamond , so if the lips are first base base maybe the left boob is 2nd base and the vagina is 3rd ? But then the right breast would be home base , which doesn't make a lot of sense if you think about it . "Dude , I'm totally sliding into home base tonight bra !" "But you've already had sex a bunch of times ." "Yeah , but tonight I'm gonna tough her other titty !" "Score broheim , score" Just doesn't seem right . So maybe kissing isn't first base ? Eye contact maybe ? Seems pretty weak , but it does keep in fitting with the pattern . Start at the eyes , down to the mouth , down to the boobs , down to moma's silk purse (as the are saying) . Seems logical , but I doubt that its . Anyway , if you want to enlighten me please include a diagram and/or schematic of some type . Thanks in advance Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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1st base - kissing 2nd base - boob action 3rd base - feeling on the kitty HOME base or HOME RUN - getting it in... that's how i always understood it 
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I wish I could believe that Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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