DREAMS
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Posted:Nov 25, 2015 4:55 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2015 5:52 pm
24140 Views
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Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Langston Hughes
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VERY ODD -not judging
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Posted:May 19, 2016 2:48 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 2:4 pm
16087 Views
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NerdCouple
For many, it takes more than intercourse, foreplay or fellatio to become sexually aroused and orgasm. These select few are literally freaks and like to take their sexual activities to new heights that are beyond imaginable. Human sexuality has always been a fascinating topic and paraphilias is definitely interesting. This is a clinical term that refers to really unusual and bizarre sexual practices and forms of sexual expression.
There are many paraphilias, with some counting as many as 547 strange sexual acts that people engage in. Many are super rare and aren’t seen enough to be given their own clinical diagnoses or enough research to find out more about the sexual tendency. Some of the most popular ones include fetishes (where a person is sexually fixated on some object or body part) and sadomasochism (where people experience sexual pleasure by giving or receiving pain). But whatever the case is, many of these odd sexual expressions are anything but normal. Here are some of the most incredibly bizarre sexual practices around (and there’s still many more just as strange):
1. Cannibal Fantasies
Cannibalism
This one is super crazy! Also considered vorarephilia, this sexual act has a person getting off with the thought of either eating another person or being eaten themselves by someone else – hence its name cannibal fantasies. You’d have to be a secret serial killer to get pleasure from cannibal fantasies and some actually have went through with it. Apparently, a man in Germany had these kinds of sexual fantasies and actually went through with the killing and was arrested for murder. It’s one seriously disturbing fetish! But those who just like to fantasize about it eating someone else to gain pleasure can go about it in a number of ways. Some usually paint a bodies with dotted lines to represent cuts of meats, while there are places on the Internet that actually have photographs of models in big pans filled with veggies and all the trimmings coming out of every orifice. Guess this is way more practical than actually killing someone to fulfill this type of fantasy.
2. Pseudonecrophillia
Having sex with a dead person is really creepy and illegal. While necrophilia is frowned upon by society, pseudonecrophilia isn’t. This is a sexual act where one person remains absolutely quiet and plays dead during sex. They go limp and try to stay motionless so to give off the feeling that they are dead so that the crazy person they’re having sex with can get off on the notion. And to make it even more realistic that partner playing dead will even soak themselves in cold water right before the sexual act to make it seem as if they’re a cold, dead body.
3. Formicophilia
Army_of ants
Bugs aren’t exactly the first things that come to mind when you want to get aroused. But then there are a few people who can’t “release” themselves without some help from their insect friends. This type of bizarre sexual act has a person getting sexually aroused by having lots of bugs (usually ants) crawl all over and bite them, usually on their private parts. The thought alone just gives you the jitters! And we can only imagine the type of bite marks, pain and itchiness is incurred by such a crazy sexual act. This is totally not our cup of tea!
4. Emetophilia
This one makes us want to gag! Emetophilia or erotic vomiting is when a person imagines another vomiting to gain sexual pleasure or actually getting off while seeing someone else do it. Vomiting and sex are two things that should never go together, but for a select few, it’s the most pleasurable thing in existence! There have been cases where people will orgasm as they throw up themselves or others who find sexual release when seeing someone else does it. Then there some gross people who like to be vomited on, which is a type of sexual practice considered as “Roman-showers.” We’ll never look at throwing up the same ever again…
5. Paraphilic Infantilism
babyman
Babies are super cute and bundles of joy. But when a person practices paraphilic infantilism, it’s anything but cute. This is when a person is sexually excited when they’re dressed up as a baby or being treated as one. This includes being given a bottle or pacifier and even getting dressed up in a big diaper, which is also a fetish in itself. Some people are just really strange…
6. Omorashi
Many people actually get aroused when urinating on someone else or having the act done to them (which is considered urophilia), but then there are a few freaks that actually find pleasure from either having a full bladder themselves or watching someone else with a full bladder pee themselves. They must have lots of urinary infections because we all know how holding your pee for too long can end up in some serious and painful infections (ladies, we’re talking to you!). Plus, we can’t even fathom what kind of pleasure one would feel from a full bladder because for the majority of us it’s the worst feeling in the world.
7. Agalmatophplia
mannequins
Some sex dolls are so realistic these days, we totally get why some people might really be attracted to them. Considered agalmatophilia, a person can become sexually attracted to inanimate objects like dolls, mannequins, statues and other things of that nature. The sexual desire can just be a fantasy to have sex with these things (which is what sex dolls are for), but them there are instances when they only prefer to have encounters with the inanimate objects. Sexual tendencies also include feeling aroused by just thinking about being transformed into that object or even transforming someone else into it. We understand how sex dolls might play into these fantasies, but are totally clueless when it’s something random that the person is attracted to. There was once a man that loved car so much that he’d get sexually aroused by just touching them. Crazy stuff for sure!
8. Goatse
Anal sex is currently on the rise and quite a popular sexual act among many nowadays. Even though it’s an ancient practice, many are barely admitting that they partake and enjoy the sexual act. Well, “goatse” is to the term that’s used to describe anal stretching, which was made popular by Kirk Johnson (even though the act has been around for a while). Mr. Johnson has an entire website that’s devoted to the act and it’s not exactly pleasant. Anal stretching is really graphic and sort of gross, with its purpose supposedly being a way to better enjoy anal sex so that the object entering can have a better fit. We don’t know about you, but we’re perfectly satisfied with the size of our anus, thank you very much!
9. Shrimping
shrimp
This is a rather interesting sex act that involves homosexuals looking for a raging good time! Although it sounds like a fishing term, it’s anything but. Well, we take that back, it’s sort of inspired by it actually. So during “shrimping,” one man will be the “taker,” while a line of other men are “givers.” Then once everybody enjoyed themselves and blew their loads, one guy chosen at random or because of some special occasion (think birthday or something along those lines) and will get to place in a PVC pip into that one “taker’s” anus and withdraws all the deposits. That’s a pretty innovative way to go fishing, don’t you think?
10. Pony Play
Probably inspired by that popular R&B jam by Ginuwine, pony play is unusual sex act where people get off on pretending to ride human ponies. And the rolep laying gets pretty detailed, with the human horses in gear and all, including a saddle, a tail (which actually can hang from the end of some sort of butt plug sex toy) and other -like attributes. Then the rider is ids dressed in full equestrian gear and commands the human pony to perform a variety of acts like gallop, trot and more, which would then be rewarded with carrots and other sexual acts. Why not just engage in a sex act with a , right? But the strangeness doesn’t stop with horses, with others preferring different animals for roleplaying with, including wolves, dogs, pups, cats, kittens, lions and other animals.
People like to get freaky when they have sex and that’s totally cool, but then there are a few who go above and beyond the norms of freaky and are straight out weird when it comes to their sexual preferences. From cannibal fantasies to getting off thinking that you’re a baby, sexual expression is a very personal thing. But hey, who are we to judge, right? As long as those people aren’t harming anyone else and they find others who are cool with their sexual weirdness, then we’re all for an orgasm no matter how it’s achieved!
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A thought
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Posted:May 17, 2016 7:17 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2016 2:45 pm
14947 Views
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10 habits of highly sexual people
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Posted:May 16, 2016 7:15 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2016 7:15 am
15890 Views
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10 habits of highly sexual people
Pre-orgasmic. Someone who's not yet had an orgasm. It's astounding to think that Marilyn Monroe, that absolute icon of sexuality, fell into this category despite three husbands and a long line of highly accomplished lovers. Until her psychiatrist told her about masturbation, that is - after which she waxed lyrical about female orgasms to him.
Off-screen and on, Marilyn oozed sex in a way that few could ever hope to emulate. She used sex to boost her career and attain rich and powerful lovers - yet the ultimate sexual pleasure, sex for sex's sake, eluded her until she neared the end of her 36 years.
While most could never dream of attaining her luminosity and sex icon status, all of us have at some stage or another come across people who similarly ooze sex appeal, whether or not they meet our personal criteria of sexiness.
Some people are simply highly sexual. They tap into a sexual energy that vitalises them - to the extent that you can spot them a mile away. And without being able to put your finger on why, you know they'd be superb in bed. What habits do highly sexual people have that set them apart from the milling crowd of sexual wannabes?
1. They think of sex frequently and surround themselves with stimuli that trigger desire. Dwelling on thoughts of sex arouses desire, which is communicated non-verbally and heightens their sex appeal.
2. They pursue - and usually attain - frequent sex. Sex is good for our health, both physically and psychologically, and the results show. It's also self-reinforcing because the more sex we have, the more we want it.
3. They practise spontaneity, seeking sex whenever a good opportunity arises - and even when it doesn't. This often involves some risk-taking, especially when it comes to sex outdoors or in semi-public places. The thrill of being caught in the act adds sexual tension and heightens sensation.
4. They are sexually adventurous and constantly seek new sexual paths, which keeps things fresh. Their openness to explore new techniques, new venues and new positions makes them an exciting partner.
5. They laugh frequently and use humour in the bedroom to dispel any tension or to defuse potentially embarrassing situations, which are inevitable with sex. People are drawn to laughter, and it bonds them as partners.
6. They're not afraid to ask for what they want in bed, no matter how risqué or taboo the sexual activity may seem. They're confident enough to be themselves and risk rejection. When faced with a negative response, are likely to think of another risqué request.
7. They look after their bodies in an effort to attract mates. They usually exercise and eat healthily. How they look is important - because if we look good, we tend feel good. They often dress to flatter their best assets and pay attention to personal grooming.
8. They are highly tactile people who squeeze, cuddle and kiss their partners frequently even when not initiating sex. This intimate contact out of the bedroom reinforces their prowess between the sheets because it conveys love and affection.
9. Instead of worrying about their physical shortcomings, they focus on giving and receiving sexual pleasure. Their self acceptance gives them confidence and sexual self-esteem, which increases their success between the sheets.
10. They relish pleasure in all forms, devouring food that delights their senses, pursuing relaxation activities with gusto, admiring and appreciating beauty for beauty's sake. Their passion for life draws people to them, especially potential lovers, and further enhances their sex appeal.
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15 Fascinating sexual rituals from around the world---interesting
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Posted:Apr 27, 2016 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Jun 8, 2016 6:58 am
16532 Views
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The 15 Most Fascinating Sex Rituals Around the World
KATE HAKALA•@EXPLIKATEME• MAR. 27, 2014 ••
Do your genitals have their own chant?
Here in the United States in the year 2014, we have a pretty standard set of mating rituals: mill around a bar looking for attractive strangers who then purchase alcoholic beverages for you in hopes that you engage in friendly conversation and later, some sex. To an outsider, contemporary sex rituals might seem bizarre, but a deep dive into history books will tell you that in times of yore, throughout the world, the things we've done to get it on have been downright peculiar.
1. In pre-contact Hawaiian culture, everyone had public names for their genitals. Hawaiian royalty and commoners each had their own genital chants which described their sex organs both figuratively and literally. Called mele ma‘is, the genital chants were a celebration of the future generations boys and girls would sire. Plus, naming your genitals sounds a lot better than this euphemistic va-jay-jay business.
2. In the Sambian tribe of New Guinea, young men are kept away from women for a set period of time and must fellate and then swallow the semen of the tribe's mightiest warriors. It's just a part of growing up.
3. In the Trobriander tribe of Papa New Guinea, start engaging in sexual activity as early as age 6 to 12. Women are just as active as men in pursuing sexual encounters. There's no social stigma involved.
4. Some believe that in ancient Egypt, it was thought that the ebb and flow of the Nile was caused by the creation god Atum's ejaculation. Because of this, pharaohs ritually masturbated into the famous river.
5. Homosexuality was socially significant in ancient Greece (this isn't the weird part), with a particular focus on relationships between older gentlemen and , or pederasty. The real stigma was when the two men of the same age and social class were getting it on, because being the bottom was thought to be feminizing, and sex was better off between people who already had a skewed power dynamic. Yeah, it's weird.
6. The Guajiro people of Colombia engage in a ceremonial dance in which if a young lady trips a young man while dancing, they must have sex.
7. Male homosexuality and same-sex marriages were prominent for centuries in the Siwa tribe of Egypt. If men didn't act gay, they were considered outcasts.
8. The little island of Inis Beag, off the coast of Ireland, is considered to be one of the most sexually repressed societies ever. Adults keep their underwear on during all sexual encounters and people consider intercourse to be hard on their health.
9. Mangaia, a tiny island in the South Pacific, is home to some of the earliest and most advanced sexual education. Starting at 13, boys have sex with older women who teach them restraint and how to last longer to please a woman. Amen.
10. In the Mehinaku village in Brazil, men compete for sex with women by giving them gifts of fish.
11. The Kreung tribe in Cambodia built love huts for their girls when they reached their mid-teens. Different boys spend a night in the hut with the until she finally finds a match. Divorce is illegal here, so think of the love hut as the sexual Sorting Hat.
12. In the Middle Ages, the church dictated that the missionary position was the only proper way to have sex. Coitus a tergo (you know, doing it from behind) was, of course, listed as the most shameful.
13. The Aweikoma of Brazil play it real simple and use the same word for eating and sex, since both involve taking something into your body. Great things, might I add.
14. Some tribes in the Himalayas practice polyandry, where brothers all share one sex partner. It's done so that their farm land doesn't become overpopulated with .
15. In the Marquesas Islands, it was considered just fine to witness your parents doing the deed.
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10 most popular sexual fetishes
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Posted:Apr 22, 2016 10:31 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2016 7:03 am
17644 Views
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10. Adult Babies
via hotdamncharlotteann.wordpress.com
via hotdamncharlotteann.wordpress.com
Adult babies are those individuals that enjoy being a baby again. They may enjoy regressing partially or completely, participating in the act of wearing diapers, being fed by an adult, sucking on a baby bottle or pacifier, dressing up in baby clothes, crawling instead of walking and speaking in “baby” talk. Individuals interested in infantilism most likely enjoy the nurturing aspect. They may be seeking attention or have too many responsibilities in their daily lives, which they wish to escape from.
9. Swinging and Group Sex
01GUIDE4-superJumbo
Swinging refers to the act of a committed, usually married couple indulging in sex with another couple or individual with the full consent of both partners. The idea of swinging or experimentation with group sex is usually driven by the male in the relationship, research showing over 75 percent of the time. This particular preference presents many challenges to a relationship including possible feelings of jealousy, low self-esteem, and issues with trust. Some couples, however, report that the act of swinging or indulging in group sex does the opposite for them, increasing the women’s confidence and allowing husbands to see their wives in a new light, strengthening their commitment to one another. It all depends on the couple and their reasons for participating.
8. Water Sports
watersports
Part of what is termed “Water Sports” in the sexual arena is Urolagnia, a more common fetish than you might think. Urolagnia is the act of being aroused by urine, whether it is the feel or smell of it. It may involve the consummation or act of bathing in urine as well. Common types of Urolagnia include: wetting one’s self or the observation of another person wetting themselves while fully clothed, watching the act of someone relieving themselves in the bathroom or even acting as a human urinal, also known as receiving or giving a “golden shower”. It may involve the desire to urinate in public or watch someone else do so. What causes this type of fetish? No one really knows what causes these associations and needs to become lodged in our brains, but individuals that are into this type of fetish describe feelings of liberation when urinating in public and regression to childhood where they feel “loved” when they wet themselves or watch another, “helpless” person. It also involves some elements of control and humiliation, especially when someone enjoys relieving themselves on someone else.
7. Cross-Dressing
crossdressing
Individuals that cross-dress wear clothing and accessories of the “opposite sex.” Cross-dressing is more common than you might think, predominantly affecting heterosexual and gay men. There are a variety of reasons for cross-dressing; it may be that the individual does not feel the gender they were born into fits who they are as a person. It may be that they are aroused by the radical idea of wearing something “forbidden” to them. It may be that they simply enjoy the different aspect of fashion not usually available to them in society. Cross-dressing has become more accepted by society in the last 10–15 years with shops and internet boutiques marketing specifically to cross-dressers. Cross-dressing has found its way into popular movies and TV shows as well including Some Like It Hot, Hairspray, Bosom Buddies, etc.
6. Foot Worship
FootFetish068
Foot fetishism is surprisingly common. It is the most common fetish of the non-genital body parts and non-sexual objects. Sigmund Freud offered the explanation that people develop this fetish due to the fact that the human foot resembles a penis. No matter what the reason, foot worshiping is a popular fetish with 90 percent of the fetishists being male. It can involve the foot alone or feet, shoes and socks or stockings. Perhaps it has to do with how we are wired, with our brains reacting to different pleasure centers on our bodies. Even individuals that are not into this fetish may enjoy having their toes sucked once in a while.
5. Spanking
o-SPANKING-facebook
Why do people like being spanked? It has more to do with just the feeling of pain one feels. The area of the buttocks that meets the back of the thigh is considered an erogenous zone and if contact is made with the right amount of pressure and frequency, it can result in arousal for many people. Spanking though elicits a whole array of psychological responses as well. It can take us back to our childhood, make us feel loved or humiliated, which many people find a turn on. It can also be a part of domination and submission with the partner administering the spankings taking total control. Whatever it is that we enjoy about spanking, it’s a common fetish, making it number five on the list.
4. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
Screen-Shot-2013-11-06-at-7.57.23-PM
According to researchers at the Carolina Institute, one out of three individuals enjoys watching sex or exposing themselves in public. Studies show that men are more voyeuristic than women with 12 percent of men being aroused while watching sexual acts compared to 4 percent of women. As demonstrated by the adult entertainment industry, 80 percent of their audience is men. Exhibitionism is a different story though. How many of us have worn revealing clothing at some point or another or showed our bodies off a bit at the gym or beach? There may be a bit of exhibitionist in all of us. Although exposing yourself and having sex in public is illegal, as a society, we seem to almost encourage it with the existence of nude beaches, fetish clubs, and even certain festivals such as Mardi Gras, where women are encouraged to flash their breasts for beads and trinkets.
3. Rubber/Latex/Leather
color_designer_latex_suit_for_woman_7953_10
This fetish relates to those that gain sexual enjoyment by wearing or having their partner wear rubber, latex or leather material. They refer to themselves as “rubberists”. The tight material acts as a type of sexual bondage. For some, the smell of rubber/latex/leather may also be a turn on. The fetish can range from wearing the more conventional types of items such as a cat suit to something more unusual such as a gas mask.
2. Sexual Role-play
pk120022
Sexual role-play involves two or more individuals acting out different roles in a sexual scenario. It can be any type of sexual fantasy. It may be as involved as the participating individuals wish. Couples could choose to act the role-play out at a specific location, dressing up in detailed costumes or using different props. It may involve individuals assuming a participating role or that of a spectator. Technology has now brought about the possibility of sexual role-playing on the Internet as well, which many individuals and couples indulge in. Not quite the same as the real thing, but it allows someone with a specific fantasy fetish to indulge with a degree of anonymity.
1. Domination and Submission
signe-nordstrom-for-50-shades-of-gray-lingerie-collection-by-kappahl-7
Domination and submission is a part of an acronym most people may be familiar with called BDSM. It stands for bondage, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. The dictionary defines domination and submission as “a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the giving by one individual to another individual control over them”. It involves the power exchange between two consenting adults. This can be in the form of a one-time occurrence, a specific part time situation or a full time arrangement. The submissive does what the dominant requires of her within their agreed boundaries of comfort.
According to Debby Herbenick, a sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute and author of Sex Made Easy, “BDSM is a huge umbrella term for a wide range of activities, from fuzzy handcuffs you can buy at a women-oriented sex boutique to the more extreme sexual dungeon set-up.” Interestingly enough BDSM has become more mainstream within the last 20 years as evidenced by the very popular 50 Shades of Grey novel. More than you might think have a penchant for these behaviors, which is why it makes the number one spot on our list. Next time you are in the grocery store waiting in line, take a look around. You never know who might be enjoying this particular “fetish or kink.”
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A nice day to
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Posted:Apr 20, 2016 8:37 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2016 10:25 am
16328 Views
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keep it simple....
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About to loose a lover, now what?
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Posted:Apr 17, 2016 2:38 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2016 5:41 pm
16525 Views
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Addicted to You
I don't know just how it happened,
I let down my guard...
Swore I'd never fall in love again
But I fell hard.
Guess I should have seen it coming,
Caught me by surprise...
I wasn't looking where I was going,
I fell into your eyes.
You came into my crazy world like a cool and cleansing wave.
Before I, I knew what hit me baby you were flowing through my veins...
I'm addicted to you,
Hooked on your love,
Like a powerful drug
I can't get enough of,
Lost in your eyes,
Drowning in blue
Out of control,
What can I do?
I'm addicted to you!
Midnight blows in through the window,
Dances round the room...
Got me hypnotized,
I'm getting high on the perfume.
I couldn't live without you now,
Oh, I know I'd go insane,
I wouldn't last one night alone baby,
I couldn't…
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1951 Amazing that a song like this came out so long ago
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Posted:Apr 14, 2016 4:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2016 2:39 pm
17043 Views
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Billy Ward & His Dominoes - "Sixty Minute Man" lyrics
Billy Ward & His Dominoes: CD's Sheet Music Tablature
Sixty-minute man, sixty-minute man
Look a here girls I'm telling you now
They call me "Lovin' Dan"
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I'm a sixty-minute man
If you don't believe I'mm all that I say
Come up and take my hand
When I let you go you'll cry "Oh yes,"
"He's a sixty-minute man
There'll be 15 minutes of kissing
Then you'll holler "please don't stop"
There'll be 15 minutes of teasing
And 15 minutes of squeezing
And 15 minutes of blowing my top
If your man ain't treating you right
Come up and see ol' Dan
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I'm a sixty-minute man
Sixty-minute man
They call me Lovin' Dan
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I'm a sixty-minute man
Sixty-minute man
They call me Lovin' Dan
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I'm a sixty-minute man
There'll be 15 minutes of kissing
Then you'll holler "please don't stop"
There'll be 15 minutes of teasing
And 15 minutes of squeezing
And 15 minutes of blowing my top
If your man ain't treating you right
Come up and see ol' Dan
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I'm a sixty-minute man, oh yeah
SIXTY-MINUTE MAN
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Human Sexuality
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Posted:Apr 13, 2016 3:15 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2016 8:16 am
17815 Views
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. Human Sexuality Today Verses Ancient Greece9
Human sexuality has been understood in widely different ways in history. It is only the current era that it is truly understand as a result of a mixture of genetics, upbringing and culture. In history, different portions of this have had prominence at different times. We have gone through periods of considering sexuality to be purely fixed by our genes - as being purely biological. The theory of evolution propelled our understanding forwards in leaps and bounds. Sigmund Freud ushered in an era where sexuality was mostly seen as a driving energy that we subconsciously channelled into various behaviours. Therefore, that most of the colourful variation in sexual practices in our species was the result of psychological processes10,11. Since then, evolutionary theory and genetics have worked hand in hand with social science to produce our current, much fuller, picture of sexuality: Our genes, upbringing and culture define our inner sexuality in about equal parts, but mostly, in ways that are beyond our own control; whereas our outward expressions of sexuality are mostly the result of upbringing, culture and personality.
In human history, the very concept of 'having' a 'sexuality' is modern, and is not universal across human cultures12. It results from the modern desire to catalogue and index human behaviours. There have been times and places where there was no sexuality: people had sexual encounters with other people, in different ways in different situations, and there simply was no worry about 'sexuality'. "The ways in which different cultures and different time periods have made sense of erotic pleasures and dangers vary widely", says the sociologist Veronique Mottier13.
Many cultures have come and gone without leaving clear records of their attitudes towards sexuality. We can see evidence of ancient practices, from brothels to sex toys, but we often have little idea of their opinions and concerns. The one famous exception is ancient Greece, where widespread literacy and a long record of social commentary have given us much insight into a culture where sexuality was understood in very different ways than in the Western world today. Everything was about social status, rather than about gender.
“... the classical world has been described as a world 'before sexuality' by historians such as Michel Foucault, Paul Veyne, David Halperin, or John Winkler. The ways in which sex was conceptualized and the cultural meanings that were attached to it were radically different from today. [...] For most Graeco-Romans, the idea of classifying people according to the gender of the person they have sex with would have seemed downright bizarre. [...]
Questions of sexual etiquette centred instead on penetration. Penetration symbolized male as well as social status, but it mattered little whether the penetrated was a woman or a boy. What did matter was who penetrated whom. Penetration was seen as active, submission to penetration as passive. It was considered unnatural and demeaning for a free-born man to desire to be penetrated, since that would reduce him to the socially inferior role of a woman or slave. 'Proper' objects of penetration were women, boys, foreigners, and slaves, all categories of people who did not enjoy the same political or social citizenship rights as the free Athenian male citizens. Social status was negotiated around the active/passive distinction, not on the basis of heterosexual/homosexual categorization, which only emerged much later in history. [...]
Attitudes on male-to-male sex were not homogeneous, however, and disputes on whether desire for young men or for women was superior abounded. Some argued that love for men was superior to that for women, since love between equals was preferable to that for inferior creatures. As the Erotes, an ancient Greek dialogue of uncertain authorship on the respective advantages of love for men and for women, puts it: Marriage is a remedy devised by the necessity of procreation, but male love alone must rule the heart of a philosopher. [...]
Given the importance of the penetrative role for male social and political status, relationships between adult men were a source of great anxiety, since one of the partners would have to adopt the submissive role. Relationships with boys solved this problem to some degree, since adolescent men achieved citizenship status only when reaching adult age. Classical culture had a sexual revulsion towards the idea of hair growing on a young man's cheeks or thighs. Boys were considered sexually desirable from the start of puberty until late adolescence, but stopped being so at the appearance of the beard and pubic hair. Athenians considered love affairs between adult and adolescent males as natural and honourable, on condition that sexual etiquette was respected. The term used to describe the sexual pursuit of adolescent males by adult males was 'paederastia'. In stark contrast to modern attitudes towards sex between teachers and students, paederastia was usually conceptualized as a pedagogic and erotic mentoring relationship between an adult male, the 'erastes' (lover), and a young, passive 'pais' (boy) called the 'eromenos'.”
"Sexuality: A Very Short Introduction" by Veronique Mottier (200 14
It is hard to imagine such a society, being as it was, so different to our own. In modern Western society, sexuality is expressed between equals. Someone with authority and a duty of care (a teacher, for example) are judged to be grossly immoral if they engage with sexual activity with someone in their care. Likewise, we do not tolerate much of an age difference between partners. Nor do we even think that it is possible for people to move on from homosexual to heterosexual relationships based purely on changing social statuses! The main lesson that we should learn is that our current categorisation scheme for human sexualities is too simplistic. People don't have "a sexuality". Modern culture, in enforcing us to tie our self-identity to "a sexuality" is itself forming that sexuality. This is why, nowadays, we understand sexuality to be a mixture of genetics, upbringing and culture.
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Emotional V.S Physical Attraction
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Posted:Apr 6, 2016 2:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2016 12:39 pm
17697 Views
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“Emotional Attraction” vs. “Physical Attraction”
Emotional vs physicalWhat is the difference between “emotional attraction” and “physical attraction?” While there are varying opinions on this matter, I’ll share the general consensus from men I have asked to put their feelings into words.
Physical attraction is the desire to look and touch because what you see is pleasant to look at or arousing on a biological level. Basically, your sexual desire is triggered.
Emotional attraction is a feeling that you want to kiss someone on the mouth and meld the story of your life with hers. You want her to love you back and you feel a possessive romantic drive to be important to her–to share life with her.
Physical attraction is far simpler, and far less sustainable than emotional attraction. It is more of a one-sided attraction (at least the way men feel it). This may or may not be a surprise to you, but men can feel a sexual attraction toward a woman without necessarily feeling a need to posses her exclusively. It’s kind of like he can feel a wild biological drive to have sex with a woman without much concern for what she does the next day (non-possessive physical attraction).
On the opposite side, emotional attraction is driven by the respect a man feels for a woman he would like to experience a two-way relationship with. He wants her to think highly of him and respect him. He wants her to value him above all the other men she could be with. Emotional attraction is necessary for him to experience a true, deep sort of jealousy when her interest seems to be drifting toward another man. It is a possessive desire for shared oneness.
While physical attraction can turn heads, it is emotional attraction that binds his heart to yours in a way that causes him to desire commitment. If you’re not sure how to pull for that binding desire for commitment, allow me to suggest you start with my program on the unique way men respond to crucial relationship cues women do not pay attention to. Click here to learn more about it.
I’m always rooting for your happiness. I believe emotional attraction trumps physical attraction when it comes to finding the kind of relationship that yields the most happiness. The good news is you can increase the odds he will feel emotionally attracted to you with a few tweaks to the way you approach men.
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What do you think the difference is in sex for men and women
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Posted:Mar 31, 2016 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2016 3:19 pm
7846 Views
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Do men and women have separate reasons for having sex?
Meston’s [Cindy M Meston, Ph.D., Professor, The University of Texas at Austin; Director, The Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory] lab recently examined that question. In a large sample questionnaire study, she and her colleagues looked at all the reasons folks from eighteen to seventy might have for getting busy. The results surprised them.
“You always hear that women are more likely to have sex for love, men for physical gratification. And we did see some of that,” said Meston. “For example, men were more likely to engage in opportunistic sex and women in sympathy sex. But across that age range, we found many more gender similarities than differences. The top three reasons for having sex were the same in both genders—they were having it for love, for commitment, and for physical gratification.”
You heard it here. Sure, gender differences are seen in a variety of studies. Many of them support the ideas we have about the ways men and women view sex. But there are a lot of similarities there too. Subjective reports of arousal, our reasons for having sex, show a lot of overlap between the genders.
“Some of these differences may be explained simply by differences are aroused. That is a pretty hard thing to ignore. It is a strong, apparent signal grabbing his attention, probably distracting him from other things that he may need to get done. With women, the sexual response is tucked away, and the vagina does not hold as much blood as the penis. It may not be as strong a signal. So in this case, it may be what is going on in the rest of the world that is the distraction, not the arousal itself. Those anatomical differences might explain a lot of the gender differences you hear about.”
Love remains the same
What about love itself? Is what I experience when I feel love qualitatively different from what a man experiences? If I consider Semir Zeki [Professor of Neuroesthetics at University College, London]’s hypothesis that literature and art across the ages show a common substrate for love in the mind, I might suggest that descriptions of sex by male and female authors and artists are sometimes different. But descriptions of love by writers of both genders? They aren’t all that dissimilar.
Although previous neuroimaging studies of romantic love by Zeki and Fisher included members of both sexes, a precise comparison of brain activation between the two was not undertaken. Zeki and his collaborator John Paul Romaya decided to take a closer look to determine whether there were gender differences in the way men and women experience love.
They compared cerebral blood flow in twenty-four people in committed relationships who claimed to be passionately in love (and scored high enough on a passionate love questionnaire to back that claim). Twelve of those participants were men, and six of those men were gay. The remaining group of twelve women was also made up equally of gay and straight women. The study paradigm was identical to Zeki’s initial romantic love study: each participant’s brain was scanned as he or she passively viewed photos of his or her partner and a familiar acquaintance matched in gender and age to their true love.
Zeki and Romaya found similar patterns of brain activation and deactivation across all participants, replicating the findings from Zeki’s original romantic love study. Once again measurements of cerebral blood flow support the idea that love is both rewarding and blind. But there were no significant differences between activation patterns in men and women. Considering the sexual dimorphism seen in many parts of the brain, it’s an intriguing result. It appears that love is love, no matter what gender you are.
When I asked Zeki if he was surprised by the finding, he chuckled. “To be honest, I was entirely agnostic,” he said. “I cannot say I was surprised by the results. But I think this is one of these studies where people would have said, ‘I’m not surprised,’ even if the results had gone the other way.”
So are Men and Women Different or not?
It is easy to fall back on old stereotypes, to simply say that men and women are poles apart. And perhaps those differences are enough to fuel those storms you commonly see in relationships. It would almost be easier if we could say that male and female brains are just too dissimilar, that they perceive and process love and sexual stimuli separately; it would give us something to hold on to when no other explanation for our love-related woes seems available. Alas, it is not quite so simple.
“When we talk about sex differences in the brain, people want to go all ‘Mars, Venus’ on you. They want to take these results and try to spread males and females way apart on function and ability,” said Cahill [Professor, Neurobiology and Behavior, School of Biological Sciences at UC Irvine]. “It is not like that. When you are talking about sex influences on brain function, you may have two bell curves that are significantly different from one another in certain instances. But those bell curves are still overlapping.”
Goldstein [Jill Goldstein, Ph.D., director of The Clinical Neuroscience Laboratory of Sex Differences in the Brain] concurred. “There is more variability within a given sex than between sexes in cognitive behavior and the brain. That is important. In fact, I always say it twice so that people really understand that,” she said. “There is more variability observed between women than between women and men in both the size of different brain regions as well as the function.”
Meston saw the same kinds of overlapping bell curves in her research.
“Every person brings their own individual history to any sexual situation,” she said. “The reasons why they are having sex, the way they feel about the sex, and the consequences of having sex are all very different across individuals no matter what gender they happen to be.”
That’s something to consider the next time you want to chalk up your partner’s quirks and shortcomings to his or her gender alone.
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