King of the Road
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Posted:Oct 30, 2014 10:24 am
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2014 8:54 am
18925 Views
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Hello everyone!
What do you think of it so far?
Pretty good, huh?
Well if you think that was good, just wait.... It gets better
Wait for it.... Wait for it....
How have you been?
See? Wasn't that awesome??
Aren't I fascinating? Aren't you glad you came?
In case you were wondering, this is what happens when I have nothing of interest to say... Or inspiration hasn't hit yet... Or I'm trying to remember what it was I was going to write about lol
My memory is good...it's just short
Like my penis
As the old song goes: "Short, but not too big around"
"Trailer for sale or rent, rooms to let - fifty cents. No phone, no pool, no pets, Ain't got no cigarettes"
Hah!
Get that tune out of your head for the next three days
You're welcome!
.....and I bet you sang it as you were reading it too
Anyway...enough of this malarkey....
That's a funny word, isn't it?
Malarkey.... Malarkey.... Malarkey....
It's such a cool word....
Wonder where that came from? According to the internet, it's etymology is unknown....
Personally I think that's a bunch of malarkey...
I also am fond of the word shenanigans
Shenanigans.... Shenanigans.... Shenanigans....
So cool....
Do you feel like you've fallen into an episode of Sesame Street?? lol
Hey! Maybe we should start an HotMatch.com version...
We could sell Fuck Me Elmo dolls and make a fortune!! It's only a small step to take.... You do know why they call him BIG Bird, don't you?? Let me give you a clue....it has nothing to do with height
And as for The Count...what a useful guy to have around when you're keeping track of the length of a "train"
Vun gang banger... Two gang banger... Sree gang banger....
And then there's Bert and Ernie....well you can figure that one out on your own
And now that I've spoiled all your treasured memories, I'll say "adieu"...
Adieu!
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Layin' pipe, all night long....
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Posted:Oct 6, 2014 5:45 am
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2014 1:00 pm
18861 Views
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Hello folks!
As you may or may not have noticed...I've been AWOL again
Busier than hell at work right now and no time (or energy lol) to come on here
Rest assured, normal service will be resumed soon (I hope)
In the meantime I have a couple of things to say:
1. I'm not dead
2. I haven't abandoned you
3. The email issue still isn't resolved from the last time I was here lol
4. I'm still horny as hell
5. I miss you all
There...done... Catch up with you soon!
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All You Need Is Just A Little Patience
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Posted:Sep 11, 2014 11:03 am
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2014 10:21 am
20478 Views
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Good afternoon my sexy beasts!
Feeling frisky? Juices flowing? Horns horning?
So what do you think about that? Two days in a row, huh? Aren't you honoured?? lol
No? Well don't blame me.... And don't blame it on the sunshine, or the moonlight, or even on the good times...
Blame it on the boogie, I say
Hee hee hee
I bet you have that song in your head now
Good luck getting rid of it
Oh I do love messing with your minds It's all part of my plan for world domination
I have a masterplan, you see.... I intend to brainwash you into lusting after me....
Is it working yet??
Have you been craving potatoes and potato products lately? Are you finding yourself searching the internet for pictures of potatoes instead of your normal diet of porn? Does peeling them get you moist in the panty department?
If so, you're falling victim to my subliminal conditioning program hidden deep within my blog
Oh yes....you will be mine.....
But enough of this witty banter...
In all seriousness....are you familiar with the expression "you have to watch out for the quiet ones"? I'm sure you are...
Have you ever wondered why that is?
Well I'm going to tell you....
You see , it's like this:
While the "talkers" are talking up their game, and the boasters are boasting, and the players are playing.....we quiet fellows are busy....
Busy with what?, I hear you ask in edge of your seat desperation....
Well, we're busy thinking....thinking up ways to have better sex of course!
I don't know what your experience with this is, but I think the less time spent talking about how great you are, and the more time you spend figuring out the best method of pleasing your partner, the better lover you make....right?
The best lover has imagination, pays attention to your responses and has patience....don't you think?
I don't think the "Hokey Cokey" method of lovemaking is anything to be proud of
What's the "Hokey Cokey" method?
It's when you "stick it in, you take it out, you stick it in and you shake it all about" LMFAO
Wouldn't you agree?
Or maybe it's just me
It's a bit like playing in a band....when you finally get a gig, so to speak, you better put on a good show or you won't get asked back for a repeat performance, never mind get an encore
Or a standing ovation...or is that just me too??
LMFAO
Oh boy...guess what mood I'M in today
Ok...time to go...
I'm off to think up better ways to please a woman....later, folks!
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Sympathy For The Devil
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Posted:Sep 10, 2014 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2014 3:28 pm
20300 Views
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Hey everyone! ....and not just the horses
Here we are, closing in on 300 300 what? I hear you ask...
Well it ain't 300 watcher's let me tell you I appeal to a very select few So think of yourselves as the Elite of the blogwatching community
.....or the Crazed Whichever fits best
I have a feeling I know which it is....
Elite of course!!
*Ahem*
Good catch, huh?
Nope....it's 300 posts I think this is 292.... So in about December, at this rate, we might be having a party in my pants Who want's to be the guest of honour??
Hee hee hee
Anyway, apparently I'm making a reputation for myself around Blogville
I know, I know...I've ALWAYS had a reputation around Blogville
But this is different!
It's NOT for being a Blog Hog
Apparently Halo's don't suit me
Can you imagine?? The cheek! The affrontery! The gall!
The truth lol
Yeah...I admit that one....
I may be a nice guy...but I do have a devil inside me
See?
There he is! lol
Sorry, but I can't help it Beautiful, sexy, intelligent, confident women have always brought that out in me lol
It's just my nature You have no one to blame but yourselves!!
If you weren't also so "eatable" I'd be sitting here quietly in my own little corner here
Yes, yes I know! Before you all start writing in to complain, it should be Edible But I think "eatable" works better in this context
Don't mind me...I just make shit up to suit myself I have a habit of inventing new words and mixing up grammar to make things sound better
Sometimes you won't even notice Sometimes I don't even notice lmao
Whatever turns your crank, right??
Right!!
So why not throw your thinking caps on, and think up some way to make post 300 special If I like some of the suggestions I might even do it!! ....especially if it involves female nudity!
Catch you all next time!
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We Will Rock You/ We Are The Champions
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Posted:Sep 6, 2014 5:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2014 3:27 pm
20332 Views
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Hey folks!
I missed a very important day yesterday.....
It would have been Freddie Mercury's 68th birthday! Can you believe that? Wow....
The years sure fly by.... I was quite taken aback when I realised he wasn't much older than I am now when he died.....
He was only 45, and I was only 18 at the time, and that seemed so old lol It seemed so far away, yet looking back it seems like yesterday lol
I was a huge Queen fan, and still am. The first record I bought was Queen's Greatest Hits, I have all the albums and had all the VHS concerts etc etc.
But Freddie was probably my first and most enduring musical icon..... Unbelievable singer, phenomenal pianist, the perfect frontman and a composer of some note
He doesn't really get the recognition he deserves.... it seems to me that many more less deserving, less talented people who died relatively young became legends while Freddie has been somewhat overlooked...
I'm not sure if it's a hangover from the "bad old days" when homosexuality wasn't "cool", or at least acceptable... or if it's to do with the stigma attached to AIDS and HIV that still hovers around even today....
Is drinking yourself to death or overdosing or committing suicide a more socially acceptable way to die young?
Or maybe his outrageous overshadowed his undoubted talent..... I don't know....
Whatever the reason, he was a musician who should be in the top rank of artists taken too soon...
I happened to watch Queen's Live Aid performance from 1985 yesterday, by complete chance, before I found out it was Freddie's birthday...
I was struck by how YOUNG he looked lol He would have been 38 or 39 at the time....younger than I am now lmao
I remember sitting watching that performance live on TV....I was all of 12 years old....and I remember the impact it had on me... I had been listening to Queen for a few years already, but this was the first time I'd seen them perform live... I was blown away....it was amazing!
No one else come's close to how "on" they were.
Looking back now, I realise what a big deal this performance was... no soundcheck, no lights or stageshow (they went on around six o'clock in the evening as I recall), and weren't performing to their normal audience.... yet Freddie held the whole of Wembley Stadium (and millions of people watching on TV) rapt for 25 minutes...
The sight of the fans doing the Radio Ga Ga handclap will stay with me forever...or Freddie's vocal exercise call and response with the audience....and don't forget..this wasn't "their" audience
That was the only performance I watched that day, but I've since seen others, and no one else could compete....
I highly recommend you search it out on the internet...it is AMAZING!
I defy you not to be blown away Don't forget, this is almost 30 years ago now and it still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up
So take a minute, throw on a Queen album or video and reflect on how much more there could have been.... and how much there was You won't be sorry
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I Was Made For Lovin' You, Baby.....
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Posted:Sep 5, 2014 12:50 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2014 5:51 am
20226 Views
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Hello Peeps and Peepettes!
Having a good day?
I do hope so.... You deserve it!
In fact...take the rest of the day off If anyone asks, just tell them I said it was ok
And if they don't like it, tell them to come see me
Sound like a good plan?
It does to me.....
Yeah, I could do with an early day.....I've had enough for one week, even if it was a short one lol
Now what could I do with the "extra" time??
Welllll......
I could try and get laid..... Find a cute girl and seduce her.... What do you think my chances are??
(Slim to none)
Yeah...that's what I thought
I'd give it the good,old college try though
I'm nothing if not a tryer
I'm the Ron Jeremy of HotMatch.com
With my mullet and questionable dress sense, I'm quite the catch!
....and you don't have to run too fast to catch me either lmao
I mean, come on ladies.....
Who doesn't want a dude in "old man" jeans??
They're HOT
I bet my ass would look great in them...if you could see it, that is
And as for the stomach overhang?
SEX-EEEEE
Actually, now that I read that I'm beginning to realise why I can't get laid around here
It's the Ron Jeremy bit isn't it??
You're all afraid you won't be able to handle me, right?? LMFAO
Think I'll change my screen name to SuperHungStudStallionManBeast
I bet that'll get the offers rolling in
I'll be beating the girls off with a stick! I'm sure of it!!
If I do that and buy a one week membership and send out an email blast to about a thousand girls at once.....
Yeah...that'll do it, right??
Oh! I have to remember to steal a pic of a hot guy off the internet to use as my profile pic..... and stop spelling and using grammar correctly
Ok then...I'm off to get ball rolling on that
Brace yourselves ladies..... I'm coming in
Oh wait.... I should practise my typing...
Brass urselfs ladees I comeing
So...ya wanna?
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Knowing You, Knowing Me (The Remix)
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Posted:Aug 25, 2014 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2014 2:17 pm
19881 Views
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Since we have a bunch of folks around who maybe don't know me from years gone by, I thought I should put this up here just in case any of you were remotely curious
The completely awesome Flirty™ did an interview with me waaaaay back as part of her world famous Blog Interview series
Apparently the link doesn't work for most folks ( oops sorry peeps!) So I copied and pasted it for you
So without further ado (or even any adon't )...... May I present, for your delectation, titillation and general amusement:
An Interview with Spudsy1000
Here is what you've all been so anxiously waiting for...an interview with the ever popular Mr. Potato Head. Well sorry to say that he is unavailable. He was lost to a horrible poutine accident so in his place is an interview with spudsy1000
What can I say about spudsy? He's smart, funny...one time he had a photo of a cock on his profile and then an ass and now a potato but lucky for us he recently posted his real photo so we could see him. I think he uses lots of emoticons when he's nervous as you will see below on certain questions he really emotes it up!
1. How did you choose your handle?
To be honest it just seemed like a good idea at the time lol
I have no imagination when it comes to that kind of thing. I see all these people with clever names and I think “Why didn’t I think of something cool like that?”. I can’t complain though, it’s been good to me, all those Tater Tot/French Fry terms of endearment lol And let’s face it….there’s hundreds of Hard4U and 14andahalfinchers out there…but there’s only one Spudsy (as far as I know )
2. Why did you join this site? Are you on any other similar sites?
Someone I used to talk to many, many, many years ago on yahell referred the site to me….at that time you used to get points if you got someone to sign up (2004 believe it or not 8 years ago!!!) I signed up but wasn’t very active, that was when yahell chat was still active, before it went down the toilet completely, and besides that, this site never worked very well, compared to now (cough, cough). That’s a note to all the newer folks by the way…you think it’s got issues NOW…you should have seen it THEN lmao I was bored so I thought I’d check it out….
Sorry folks…I know you were hoping to be regaled with salacious tales of kink and debauchery lol
No I’m not on any other sites…I have a hard enough time keeping up with this one never mind any others…and I’m not even “active” lol
3. What were your expectations when joining and has the site lived up to that?
I had no expectations so….yes it’s lived up to them and then some lol
I didn’t come here looking for sex, or to “find” someone. I didn’t intend coming here at all, it just sort of happened lol. Of course the lure of female nudity probably played a part too…. I am human after all….no…really I am
4. Do any non Passion.com family or friends know that you're on the site?
Absolutely not lol Even the Affer’s barely know I’m here I keep myself to myself. If you’re not watching carefully you wouldn’t even know I was around…that’s how quiet I am Honest… Although now you’ve done this I’m gonna be famous You know you’ve “made it” when you get interviewed by Flirty Kinda like the Larry King or Diane Sawyer of the Adult world
5. You seem extremely private, have you met anyone in person from the site?
Actually I’ve met a couple of people for lunch/coffee in the last year or so….truly awesome people. They know who they are And no before you say anything that’s NOT “code” for something lol Like I say above, I’m not here “on the prowl” so to speak, so the meeting of people is pretty well kept to a minimum, very select group who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty Although to be honest, even if I was “on the prowl” I’d still be the same lol
6. And what everyone wants to know...have you gotten any...from the site that is?
I’ve gotten headaches…do they count?? I’ve gotten many a laugh and interesting conversation…. I’ve even gotten email…… I must admit I’ve had offers…lol…not many but a few which I think is pretty amazing considering up till last week’s HNW blog post no one had any idea what I looked like…. Actually…now that I think about it, Passion.com should pay me to be their poster boy….the ad would run “Even if you look like THIS….you’ll get offers” LMFAO I think that’s deserving of a free gold ball don’t you? I mean that’s much more tricky than arranging gingerbread men isn’t it??? Sorry Charmer You know I love you I just couldn’t resist that
7. If you were a flavour of ice cream, which flavour would you be? What toppings if any?
Mint Choccy chip….just because I like saying Mint Choccy Chip….go on try it…you’ll see what I mean Faster…faster…say it faster….isn’t that cool? Doesn’t it make your mouth feel all weird?? Lmao Almost as good as “bubble gum tongue girl” Try THAT one fast Seriously….it’s got to be Rocky Road lol Why? Just because that’s what being around me is like lol I’m hard work, I must admit….believe me people can only take me in small doses – I’m either full of the joys or down in the dumps, I’m aggravating and bad tempered and a total smart arse. Hmmmm now that I think about it – I can’t even take me lol As for toppings there’s only one answer….Chopped Nuts!!!!! LMFAO
8. Other than classic rock, cooking and your love of straight laced porn, what else does Spudsy like to do in his spare time?
Actually I have to correct you slightly there, I love ALL music ( I almost said except hip hop – but I did say MUSIC lmao just kidding, I even like some of that ) My CD collection runs through folk, classical, country, show tunes, rock, metal, soul, you name it I probably have a CD of it lol Straight laced porn?? Define straight laced lol Where on earth did you get that idea from???? Lol I’m feverishly trying to think how you’d get that impression lol I must admit I do love to cook…well, actually it’s not so much the act of cooking itself as the eating I don’t even mind the washing up because then I get my headphones on
Did I mention I love music?? Other than that…I read…I read LOTS….I read standing up, I read in bed…I read when I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. I read when I take the out…I read everywhere and anytime lol I read books over and over and over and over…and I can’t part with one…even the bad ones….OMG I’m a Book and CD Hoarder!!! Lmao I play guitars and sing too, and I love DIY….sheesh I’m talking renovation projects, people!!… Actually DIY is pretty good too ...geez when do I find time for anything else?? Did I mention I love music???
9. What is your favourite position?
Any one that involves me and a pretty female I love them all….front, back, sideways, top, bottom, standing, sitting, lying down If I could do them all at once I would I must say though the one that always puts a smile on my face when I think of it is sitting on the floor with the lady standing over me and my face……*ahem* Well, I think you get the picture If you asked me my favourite sexual moment I’d have to say that was definitely in the top three lol I’m grinning right now just thinking about it
10. Do you shave or trim?
I’m a trimmer I did try shaving once but all it did was make me hornier than ever…and I’m hornier than most to start with lol I couldn’t stand it…it was like overdosing on Viagra lmfao So now I restrict myself to trimming on top and shaving underneath if you get my drift lol
11. Why do you love animal print undies so much? How many pairs do you own?
LMFAO I don’t own ANY!! Believe it or not….. That’s an “in joke” which turned into a bit of a gimmick lol That and whipped cream bikinis LMAO And I don’t own one of THOSE either !! LMAO
12. What kind of woman turns you on?
Ummmmm…… the breathing kind LMAO Actually I’ve been contemplating a “Perfect Woman” blog post for a long time, just never got around to actually doing it…watch my space people…it’ll show up sooner or later But since you asked…here’s the short version….. She is FUN first and foremost, happy and intelligent. Confident but not OVER confident, if you know what I mean…. She has an amazing sense of humour and is up for anything….not just in sexual terms either…. This will sound really shallow but she must be beautiful….lol Not beautiful in the conventional “cover of a magazine” sense perhaps, but you should be able to look into her face and see it glow….I can’t describe it adequately, let’s just say you know it when you see it There’s a certain type of woman that just “shines” and it really doesn’t have to do with looks…. Arrrrgggghhh!!!! I’m tying myself in knots here…maybe I’ll just give up trying to explain it… Now you see why that “Perfect Woman” post hasn’t materialized lmao
13. What are some of your fantasies?
Hmmmmm….interesting question….I don’t really have fantasies as such….. To be honest I’ve done pretty much everything I ever imagined I ever could….and I have an amazing imagination let me tell you lol My fantasies are not so much about “situations” or ways of doing it…they run more to the “WHO” rather than the “WHERE or “HOW”….and I think we’ll leave it at that
14. What is your most embarassing moment?
My life…..lmao Actually I can’t think of anything really, really cringe worthy…. Just the run of the mill stuff…open zipper, food stained shirt type of thing lol Oh wait……actually now that I think about it…..there was this one time I was caught lying on top of a girl on her bed with my hand down her trousers and her hand down mine…. by her mother….we were 10 or 11….lmao my first sexually related experience…and my last for a loooooong time lol I haven’t thought of that in years lol It’s funny now, but it wasn’t at the time lol Damn it if I’d only known then what I know now it might even have been fun
15. What is a typical day in the life of spudsy?
A typical day?? Is there such a thing?? Lol Well I get up, perform my daily ablutions, get dressed, have breakfast, take the out, have a smoke, go to work, log into Passion.com check the blogs, make annoying comments on other peoples blogs, work, go home, take the out, possibly cook dinner, wash dishes, read or play guitar, go to bed, sleep, get up, perform my daily ablutions, get dressed, have breakfast, take the out……need I go on???? LMAO I’m a very boring individual lmao Don’t let the windswept and interesting, International Man of Mystery façade fool you
16. What is the kinkiest thing you've done?
Hmmm….define kinky lol I don’t really think of anything I’ve done as kinky….others might beg to differ though….lol It’s all dependent on your point of view I suppose…..I just don’t see me as kinky, the things I do are pretty normal to me lol Compared to some people around here I’m pretty “vanilla” , if I can use that term….although on the other hand compared to what I’ve heard some people say their experiences up to this point have been I sound like a Sex Fiend lmao
17. I noticed on your profile that you said you'd be into threesomes...have you ever done that? Please explain and if not then say if you want to and feel free to suggest 2 bloggers who you'd like to have one with?
No actually I haven’t….is that still on there?? Lol Shows how often I update my profile lol I think the concept is more intriguing than the reality would be….. If I was young and single….sure…why not?? I’m very open minded….I’ll try anything at least once Well…..most things And I’d like to take this opportunity to commend you on the “loadedness(?)” of the second part of that question as I quickly skip by it… Besides, how could I pick just 2????
18. If you could change one thing about yourself what would that be?
I honestly don’t know…I’m pretty happy with myself the way I am if I’m honest. I’ve learned to live with myself and my faults and my good points( yes I do have some ). I’ve had a pretty good life up till now just the way I am, so why change? I have no complaints A more interesting question would be what would YOU change about ME if you could?
19. How do you feel about poutine?
I like it lol I know it’s not to everyone’s taste but there you go Did no one ever tell you everything is better with cheese??? Well….everything except genitalia LMFAO Feel free to cut that last comment out, I never could resist a joke…even a disgusting one like that lol
20. Tell us a secret about you and make it real.
A secret?? I don’t really think I have anything interesting to share…. Let me think….something the Passion.com public don’t know and probably wouldn’t believe? I’m very shy….chronically shy in fact….blushing red, tongue tied, fall over my own feet shy Which is weird considering I can stand and give a speech or sing in front of a room full of people no problem lol But yes….I’m shy… Remember all those eighties High School type movies?? With the wallflower nerdy type guy no girl will look at?? That’s me lol Didn’t have a proper girlfriend till I was 19… I’m more Leonard Hofstaeder than Leonard Hofstaeder is lmao
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Rainy Day Women #13 & 35
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Posted:Aug 23, 2014 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2014 3:49 pm
17298 Views
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Well, happy Saturday, my freaky friends
Hope the weekend is treating you well
I'm having a bit of a TV fest today lol Thank god for HBO shows on DVD
Bit miserable outside today.....but don't let that spoil your fun
There's plenty of work for idle hands If you know what I mean lol
And my hands have NOT been idle, let me tell you
There's been chafing... Yes...chafing...
*sigh*
Oh well....can't be helped Long, slow masturbation IS a risk...but it's usually worth it lol
Don't worry...none of you lot were involved
Well...maybe one or two of you lmao
Spent a little time in Chat last night and today....been a few years since I did any more than stick my nose in the door and leave... It was pretty good...a few old friends...a few new ones....and a good time had by all I think
Or at least I had a good time...can't vouch for the folks that had to listen to me
As you may be aware, I can be a little bit of an attention .... Just a little...
Oh alright....a LOT
Yeah...I kinda tend to take over them room when I'm in full flight lol
Oh well...can't be helped....you just need to give me more attention, is all.....
That's how it works, you give me attention, I get happy....simple!
It's a recipe for success , let me tell you!
See how easy that was??
I'm pretty easily pleased you know....
Pizza...a drink...and a movie with a pretty girl...that's all I ask....
Any takers??
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To link to this blog (spudsy1000) use [blog spudsy1000] in your messages.
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