Travelling
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Posted:Oct 13, 2016 7:58 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2016 6:21 pm
23447 Views
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So I have scraped together enough dough to spring for something special for my daughters birthday. We will be leaving the balmy south to head to the frozen capital of the province. With all the luck in the world I will get to spend some face to face time with missy as it has been far too long that we got to hang out together. Expect some laughs and hopefully some adult beverages being consumed.
I will keep you posted as to the shenanigans.
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Is sexiness fat soluble?
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Posted:Sep 21, 2016 7:06 am
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2016 8:28 am
25334 Views
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WTF? I know that is what you are thinking just from the title. Let me get a round to where my thoughts are on this.
It has been my experience and I stress this experience only no hard data that the skinnier the woman was the less satisfactory the sexual encounter was. Now my selection of the skinny is limited to about two of twenty partners so only a sample of 10 percent. I will say that neither had a sex drive worth talking about and when they could be bothered with sex they simply orgasmed and then lay there like a dead fish waiting for me to finish.
Now on the other end of the spectrum I have been with some women who both myself and others would characterize as being on the heavy side of the spectrum. These ladies were nigh on nymphos. Whether it was an innate desire for sex or a making up for lost sex they were women who wore me out in a very enjoyable way.
Now the rest of my own personal history fall into the category of your typical woman. They may be a few pounds from where they want to be. In my case almost all of them were fighting against an number of pounds that seemed to belong only in their imagination and not on their bodies. All of these women were fantastic partners and seemed to have appetites that matched mine quite well. They had bodies that I enjoyed bouncing off of and appreciated being bounced as well.
So what the hell does this mean. I married one of these women who thought they were horribly overweight. What did she have was hips and breast and ass. However she was determined and managed to trim 20 to 30 pounds off her and what did that do? It made her bony and seemed to kill her sex drive. We went from a couple times a week to once every couple of months.
My sassy answer is that sexiness is fat soluble. Now I acknowledge this a touchy subject. Weight is never a cool thing to talk about and I should know as an acknowledged fat fuck. Understand that this is my experience I am talking about. It would be the same if all of the blowjobs I got were shit and I wrote about how shitty blowjobs were.
There is a real split in the world where guys seems to want the skinny bitch with the giant tits and ass. This is a unicorn. A media made unicorn.
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What i know now.
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Posted:Sep 20, 2016 10:22 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2016 5:56 pm
25412 Views
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Wow I haven't written in a long time. I have the urge to see if my sunday story collection can get posted elsewhere and enjoyed by a new audience. Anyways on to the body of this post that has to do with the title. What I know now at approximately my middle age of my life.
1. Not every sexual encounter needs to be some amazing write home to mama sort of time. They can just be a quick little get your orgasm and go thing. Trying to draw it out into magic will generally frustrate you and your partner and kill the mood.
2. Pay attention to that girl or boy in high school that was pretty normal. Odds are they are the ones who deep undercover perverts. They are the ones into bondage and swinging and home movies and all that good stuff that keeps the wheels turning. That cheerleader captain and quarterback are fucking boring in bed.
3. No one is worth chasing to the point of frustration. No matter how wonderful you think they are or actually might be, they aren't into you and that is a huge red flag.
4. Do not be afraid of sex toys. They are great. There are a shit tonne of them out there and all of them will work for someone you are with or for you. Toys are fun, therefore more fun in the bedroom. Or carport. Or living room or wherever you are doing it.
5. Beds are great. But it is not the only place to make the sexy time. I found out that the ocean is pretty great provided she can deal with salt water for a bit.
6. There really is no nice way to tell someone they are shitty in the sack.
7. What you think is gross as a shows how little you really know as a .
8. Accept that the other person getting into a relationship is as vulnerable as they have ever been. Like newborn baby vulnerable. Do not fuck them up for the rest of their days.
9. The fantasy of lingerie is great. It looks amazing in pictures and on fetish models. The real world is a collection of straps and netting and confusion. Things that have to be removed and slid over and not come on. Fuck it naked rocks.
10. Music in the background doesn't always work for everyone. Neither does the tv showing porn.
11. There are three things you must never do during oral sex. The first is pass wind. (Been there. bit of a mood killer). The second is fall asleep. Again been there and so not cool when she curls up on your thigh like a pillow. And lastly it is considered the pinnacle of rudeness to burp during or after performing.
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Tell me if i am wrong on this one.
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Posted:Jul 2, 2016 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2016 8:02 pm
29235 Views
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So I not only write the dirty stories but I am also a reader of these as well. I was perusing the latest titles when one jumped out at me enough to comment to a friend. It was called simply Alex sucks a cock for the first time.
I asked her what she thought the story was about. She replied "There is a guy named alex and I would bet somehow a cock ends up in his mouth."
I laughed and agree with her. Now would you read this story as the ending I given away like that. How about a movie called The neighbour kills her. It reminds me of some of the names here on the site. If one says suksallthedicks I am gonna assume oral sex comes into it at some point. Anyone have a favorite name they have come across?
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Fuck this
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Posted:Jun 23, 2016 9:15 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2016 7:17 pm
26133 Views
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So I have decided. It took me a while and lo and behold a sign from the elder gods (more this later) but I have decided to go celibate for awhile. Maybe it is because I have had my heart broke, maybe it is because I need to focus on the wreck that is my life but I cant be bothered with wooing the opposite sex right now.
There are the cynicals out there who are thinking that I am relyng on the old notion that if I am not chasing the women then they will all flock to me. Nope. Just couldn't be bothered right now. I will spend the time trying to turn into a better man and possibly licking my wounds over a whole lifetime of messed up relationships.
The sign that I talked about earlier was a co worker showing me his fish dates. For those of you who are wondering about that it is the old bunch of fish dating site. I had a moment of weakness about two months ago where I down loaded the app for my phone. I didn't open a profile but just had it sitting there on my phone, shit I never opened the damn thing up at all. To watch his face and have him explain to me how he was dating and who he was dating and watch the semi excitement in his face was enough to put me off it all. Thank the elders that I ditched the app about a month earlier.
So what am I gonna do you ask. Well if the worlds sexiest woman was to fall at the front door begging me to ring their bell I would. I am a weak man, no one can hold out forever. I will probably jack my dick like here is no tomorrow. But I am really just gonna take a break from wondering when and where my next companion is gonna come from. Instead I will reflect and spend some time with me. Who knows, maybe I will come to some sort of breakthrough. My fingers are crossed at least.
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Help
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Posted:May 25, 2016 6:10 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2016 5:41 am
26897 Views
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Dear readers my television and chair have sprung their insidious and well thought out plan. I am stuck in their grasp. The fuckers even baited the trap with snacks and a beverage. These clever fucks must die soon or all will be lost. Next I expect them to tempt me with pornography on the big screen. Save yourselves before it is too late.
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So.....
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Posted:May 24, 2016 12:51 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2016 5:39 am
27207 Views
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Over the course of the weekend I managed to have a delightful conversation with a lady from this site and it was quite fun. However that was not without its own trials.
The first being this site. It seems bound and determined to keep me from connecting with anyone. I have dropped my gold membership and am now seemingly reduced to being less than a human. So as a way around it I simply asked that people contact me. Instead the site checkmated me by not allowing me t respond to emails sent from others. Well played.
So I decided to use my collection of useless points and email the person who was getting in touch with me. It looked great until the site checkmated me again and I couldn't even read my own email. Oh you clever site.
Finally the aforementioned lady and I did connect off site. I was proposing a human hour without realizing that she was up nice and early. So a little chatting and life seems good. A whole lot of turmoil for a little chatting.
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Bahhhh!
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Posted:May 16, 2016 9:24 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2016 3:10 pm
27155 Views
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So have you ever had someone in your life that seems to infuriate you at every turn. Maybe it is someone you have a soft spot for or someone who you have hooked up with before but time and time again their drama or bullshit nixes your plans. There are only so many kidney infections and hangnails that you can take before you start to question whether or not they are just avoiding you or their health is really that fucked up. And if their health is really that fucked up, why would you ant to be with them unless you had a nurse fetish.
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Today
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Posted:May 8, 2016 10:34 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2016 5:26 pm
27297 Views
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It doesn't seem right to write porn today. Instead I will call my mom and see how she is making out. That is all. Enjoy your day mothers.
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When do you allow the dream to die?
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Posted:May 6, 2016 2:13 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2016 4:00 pm
27646 Views
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So a small conversation with the mini spider and I led to the title of this blog. We were laughing about how teachers hobbies have become classes at school and I joked that my class would be pornography. Laughs later I confessed I would be a director of porn instead of a performer just due to physical short comings. (oh no my secret not porn sized dick is now public, watch the women flee in outrage)
So that got me to thinking about when you allow that dream to die. I watch a good number of people numbly go about their routines and know that some of them had a kick ass dream in them at one time. Maybe it was Olympian, or artist, or rodeo clown. At what point does it seem prudent that you put away that set of parallel bars, or pack away that sculpting clay and retire your face paint.
I can argue that for some it is the family that makes it happen. That when you stop thinking about yourself and put others first your dreams are knifed in the back much like Caesar. But is it really that that takes the dream away from you or the sudden realization that the /spouse thing is way longer term than dream fufillment?
I wrestle with this notion sometimes on my nightshifts. I wonder if it is too late for me, for my generation to be great and to make our mark. But then I see my and know that I have done ok. I mean I have achieved my dream of being a semi viewed blogger of no real importance. Who can stop me know?
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The New 10 Commandments
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Posted:Apr 28, 2016 5:54 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2016 5:09 pm
29088 Views
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So here they are. I wish I could say that I got them from a flaming bush but there was no gingers involved in the making of these. Also they are not in stone at all but instead in a fancy electronic form for everyones personal use.
Without further ado The 10 Commandments of online Dating
1. Thou shalt use a current photo. You cannot go back to your high school graduation if you are over 40.
2. Thou shalt respond to all contacts. Even if it is to say "no thank you". Respect each individual who has sent you a message enough to respond.
3. Thou shall flirt. Do not be a stick in the mud.
4. Thou shalt not bring up other disastrous dates or people who have scorned you on a first date.
5. Thou must show up to the date even if it is for coffee. You are not allowed to peek in the window and not like what you see and leave.
6. Always dress for the date. If going camping leave the gown at home. If going for supper leave the sweat pants and wife beater .
7. Thou shalt be honest. Honesty about living situations, , how you feel about each other as well as your kinks. Honesty is awesome.
8 Thou shalt assume that you will see the other person naked at some point, and they will see you as well.
9. Thou shalt not send pictures of your junk unless she has requested it. Especially if it looks like there was a lawn mower accident.
10. Thou shall always use protection. No diseases shall be passed to someone new.
and as a bonus for all of us.
11. Keep the laughing in the bedroom to a minimum. Feelings get hurt.
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17
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Random Bullshit
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Posted:Apr 27, 2016 5:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2016 5:39 am
23287 Views
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I find it very amusing that the last few videos I have watched black women (I don't care if that isn't this weeks term) have used white dildoes and the white women have been using black ones. Thankfully our masturbation sessions are what the civil rights have accomplished.
If you haven't watched the slow motion facial compilations then you are missing out on great comedy. I don't care if you are the most seasoned slut out there, you all still seem to recoil in a moment of fear and revulsion. Bless you slo mo.
I understand exhibitionism. I understand cross dressing. What I don't understand is how closely those two fetishes go together. I guess you don't get dressed up and just stay home.
I love the names people have one hear. They are clever and witty and very descriptive. However how do you actually meet someone in public "Nice to meet you superslutsucker78? Likewise giantdongmaster."
Driving home yesterday someone on the radio was proposing a new set of commandments. I feel like doing ones for online dating. Anyone interested or is it just more bullshit.
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Sunday Story time
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Posted:Apr 24, 2016 5:19 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2016 8:15 am
23835 Views
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Alright I have been remiss lately with these so here you go. Something nice and smutty for a rainy sunday my way.
God he loved these conferences. It seemed like at least twice a year everyone came in from the furthest reaches of the company into the main hub to hob nob and learn a little from each other. Don was a hot shit salesman and as a result was usually rewarded with the conferences. It was great, hotel and food paid for as well as receiving his normal wage for what was really a paid vacation. It also came with some pretty good side benefits as well.
One of those side benefits was face down on his hotel bed right now. She was naked and he loved her position and her body even more. She was pressed face down on the mattress. Her ass was high in the air and her thick thighs were spread ever so slightly open. She was excited and he could smell her excitement in the dim hotel room.
It was like the women became totally different people at these conferences. She was in shipping at one of the satellite offices. He didn’t know if she was a boss or an underling but he did know that her body rang all his bells. She was short and thick. Thick in the thighs and ass and he confirmed earlier that she needed an industrial marvel of elastic and satin to contain her breasts. A few drinks and her giggling became touching and her touching led to his touching and here on this bed is where his touching led to.
His cock was thick and rampant with blood. Her seemingly slutty side that came out after a few doubles was part of the equation. The fact that she grabbed his cock through his pants in the elevator was another. Mostly it was her body though. It was like someone had attached an air hose and just pumped it up a little. He didn’t mind her little belly, or the jiggle her body had when she moved quickly. He really didn’t mind the fact that she had a pretty face as well. Her dark bob hair cut was framing a lovely pair of dark green eyes. Centering her face was a pert nose and underneath was a mouth to die for. She knew it and had accented it with dark wine colored lipstick. He could taste that lipstick from their elevator ride.
Mostly it was her ass that fascinated him. It was soft and firm at the same time. It yielded slightly to the pressure of his hands and his hands couldn’t stop from roaming on it. He slid a hand between her thighs and was rewarded with her wet heat. He pressed slightly upwards and could feel her open slightly to the pressure and moan aloud. He sawed back and forth a little and was rewarded with more moaning. His hand was taking on her wetness and her scent.
He reared back and smacked each ass cheek. He reveled in the way they moved under his hands. He loved the pink color that came about and he could feel the precum bubble out of his cock. She was ready for him. Only one thing would make it perfect for him. He reached for the dresser drawer and brought the small bottle of massage oil out. He liberally spread it on her until her ass shone in the dim lights of the room. Oh what a glorious sight for him. His cock bobbed and throbbed in front of him. It was all he could do to get the condom on without exploding all over his hands. Finally encased in latex he was ready.
One hand on each side of her ass opened her slightly and then he was riding momentum into her as she took his cock to the hilt. He didn’t stop until he could no longer get any more of him into her. He even flexed his ass and tried to stuff all of himself into her. Her pussy just seemed to swallow him whole and keep right on wanting more. He stayed bottomed out and then slowly withdrew until just the head of his dick was left inside her. Then slowly he reversed direction and plowed into her again. Oh how he loved this friction.
His hands gripped her flesh tightly and dug into her fleshiness. He was in heaven. He could only just hear her gasps and moans as he fed his cock into her. The slipperiness of the oil made them slide together so well and soon she was thrusting back onto him. They were totally in sync. He wanted to feed more to her and she wanted every inch that he had. His hips were just starting to speed up when her pussy clenched him tight and she had her first orgasm. He paused buried inside her only to give her a short break and then he sped up his thrusts.
In a short while he was a blur of hips and slaps on her cheeks and she was orgasming again quickly after the first. He could feel his sack getting wetter and wetter as her juiced saturated them as well as the bed below her. Finally when he felt she couldn’t take being pounded into much longer his hips found yet another gear and with a slippery hand he stroked down her crack until his thumb rested against her rear opening.
He pressed forward and her head came off the bed and she pushed hard against him. Once his thumb was fully engulfed in her asshole he knew that he didn’t have long. The heat of her ass on his thumb combined with the wonderful milking sensations of her pussy was too much. With one last bellow he thrust into her and stayed there as he erupted and filled the condom with his cum. It was powerful and he felt himself get a little light headed it was so strong.
He eased himself from her, first his thumb and then his cock. He staggered to the bathroom and the last thing he saw was her collapse on the bed in a heap. He fought with the condom and finally succeeded in getting it off and into the garbage. In the bathroom light he could see the sweat trails on his chest and he splashed some water on himself and into a glass to drink and attempt to rehydrate.
Coming out of the bathroom he stood and looked down at her magnificent body. Her hair was a mess and her lipstick smeared but she was still a sight to behold. He was gazing at all this loveliness when she craned her neck up and took his limp cock into her mouth as if to say “time for another round”. He smiled and thought again of how much he loved these conferences.
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To link to this blog (spiderj72) use [blog spiderj72] in your messages.
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