Thinking Hard~
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Posted:Sep 9, 2012 10:43 am
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2012 9:29 pm
23221 Views
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As usual,there are often questions asked-within>> Why meeting strangers? why having intimacy? why getting detached and damn ~why doing all the 'unthinkable'?
Yes,perhaps there are pretty of excuses~ going with the flows? the right moment? curiousity? the desires?etc and etc... all these thoughts would throw me into that dark pit~ of course, if you do analyse alittle bit more...its so wrong and yet,so often, you still keep doing the 'wrongs'.
Lately, my little 'experiment' got me thinking deeper.In fact,I am pretty clueless about how what 'sincerity' we are talking about? 'Sincerely bedding me?' or sincerely 'knowing' me? These just got me abit 'cold feets' as I m fine as long as my inner walls are not 'pierced through'. I do have that 'retreating' habit once I feel that someone is reading me too close for comfort....
Guess, I m at this stage of ' reflection'..knowing very well that it was my 'bad'...
So,I did easy on my weekends and went to 'fill' my 'inner me' with music... gladly,it was so fruitful and found this album..Owl city - midsummer station. This number,Sihouette ,depicts exactly how I feel: THE MORE I WANT TO MOVE ON, THE MOVE I FEEL ALONE...BEC I WALK ALONE,NO MATTER WHERE I GO~~
Someone has just mentioned that he is here because he feels 'Empty'. I almost wanted to tell him, you cant 'fill' that gap here...this is certainly not the place... But again, we never know~
I shall keep things 'light' for the moment...of course with my music..
brave on...another new week ahead...
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Fun Friday~
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Posted:Aug 25, 2012 7:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2012 4:07 pm
21912 Views
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It had been such a long time tat I never club and last friday was such a good one! the dance,the music,the old frens i bumped into, the new frens i met~~ etc etc~
For a start, I have always love dancing~ its the ambience and music plus the alcohol tat often offer me tat mood of craziness & high. I dunt deny tat I have always been tat kind of fun-loving person with no reservation~~who needs tat anyway.
Tat nite,I just went along with the flows. There were new frens i made (i m happy)...old ones(some i couldnt recall) but was glad to see them again and though the dancing was not enough ( still have many FRIDAYS ahead)~ the whole thing was funs.
The bizzare encounter with a new 'fren' and the new discovery was indeed 'interesting'...He had indeed shown me new 'dimension' of himself and myself.Probably this is part of the journey and i must say...its a north and south pole between us.
well....the conclusion: nice discovery indeed~~
cheers
happy sunday...the sun is good and i m good ~~
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Ripples-- oNe, TwO ,ThrEe.....
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Posted:Aug 3, 2012 8:55 am
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2012 7:39 pm
23410 Views
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Ripple One- Gone too soon
Lost a family fren who was too nice,too heartbroken that he chose death.Wish that there was a second chance to reach and Save him.. but guess this is destiny... M beyond sadness...numb would be the feeling. So,I tend to view things lightly and easier for the time being. Life is indeed too fragile for some--- Sigh
Ripple Two - Second perfect Ten
Yes,Mr Gemini proven to be the second perfect Ten in my list... How could I be deceived by my own initial judgement- RIGID.. Definitely Not...especially when he performs on Bed...Its definitely with Thunders & Lightings!He 'MOVED' me..... Flipped me with surprises and I m speechless- I guess, I met my MATCH... Well, I just dance to the tune whenever the music plays and why not if its to my rythmn... Dance On.....weeeeeeeeeee
Ripple Three - Fren who turn FB
I have kind of lost my patience with my 'comfy' sofa...yup that long time fren who turn Lover...Probably we have been too 'mutual' that he just easily assumed that I would meet him every weekends. Nah, in fact, I dunt like that idea of assuming and just hinted that...I might just not wana see him again...
Yes..losing tat interest and should I say...Time to say GOODBYE?
Most likely----oooooo
Ripple Four - Time for travelling again
Yes, have packed and leaving tomorrow for a week vacation... I m sure I would be having funs and isnt thats wat life is all about?
Nobody to please...except Myself...
cheeze...
till I m BACK...
smile
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Take it EASY~~
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Posted:Jun 23, 2012 11:56 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2012 9:16 am
24065 Views
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Lately, tat 'partner-of-crime'pal has been asking me out. I love his company~his pampering ways ,his 'easy-going'attitude and most of all,he accepts my 'busy' schedules, inconsistent patterns and accomodating 'ALL.
We have been pals for so long and before lately 'intimacy' came into the picture.Somehow,it truly wasnt about SEX ~ its all about matching the same liking, be it food,wine..and thoughts. In one simple word...we are deadly 'COMFORTABLE' like that old sofa chair that FITS...silently.
So,he is married and awfully successful and financially well-off. He shared all and watever with me at times ..there is no secret.
But somehow,the more I know,the further I want to be there.Having his company over the weekends,dunt seem to 'thrill' me much. Honestly, I am sure I have 'others' in mind. But I love the company and familiarity that both of us are sharing.Its not the SEX but both of us interacting and sharing! Lately,he even proposes trips together....
OH,my mind is pulling an invisible handbrake somewhere... should I start doing a raincheck as I m not going to be falling for a /married' man..aka...BORROWING TIMES... I shouldnt be so 'DUMB' ya....
Fortunately, I m kind of cool now.. I have much more plans ahead...
Sure...its time to do some distancing....
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Oops...Unexpectedly...Perfect Fitting~~
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Posted:Jun 4, 2012 5:29 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2012 9:15 am
22928 Views
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At times,the least expected,the outcome could be just that perfect fitting. Here it goes:
Few chats with Mr Gemini but he wasnt as spontaneous as I thought. Rigid, dull and kind of boring were the impression that I had.So, I was prepared to put him in the shelving...lol. Moreover, we were both leaving town for few weeks vacation.
So,after my vacation,I was thrown back to hectic work immediately. Nothing in my mind except works~ both of us must have forgotten abt each existence. Oh,hey, he was easy as me...nothing to expect and he havent met anyone from this site yet....I Hate newbies you know....lol
Then,he ping me to checkme out.Of course,I was kind of surprised and truly not excited.I cant meet but we might the next round. The next day, he ping and I said 'SURE'...hahaha. But immediately I was abit regretting my impulsiveness...didnt he sound 'DULL' and 'RIGID'? Seriously,I dunt wana spoil my beautiful weekend ... moreover, I cant remember his looks and blah blah blah....
Damn,I was again in that 'nervous' mode. Sure,he will bring some drinks while we planned to soak and have a good afternoon by the pool.Gosh,he was already reaching before my thoughts were racing upside down.Damn, I didnt know he is so Tall and so good looking! Damn,I dunt even know what to say...except,let me drown a bottle before I could tame my nervousness~~
Yes, he was 'Rigid' at first.Bet we were both trying to balance things out.Guess, the alcohol helped to loosen things abit and I could sense that both of us were having good conversations.Perfect gentleman as he is.We were both having a good start.
Oops...to be continued....(hopefully)
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Here I am^^
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Posted:Apr 28, 2012 11:49 am
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2012 9:13 am
23828 Views
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Didnt realise I have lost tat 'flow of words' tat used to come so easily when I blog...Must be the hectic working life tat was killing all my thoughts...or I was just mindlessly 'living' yet cant deny tat 'PLAY' has never been neglected.
So,I was working hard and along the way, having 'funs' at times. Oh, not forgetting tat I would be leaving town soon for a two wks vacation....YES, a holi..holi days~~~
Workplace has never failed to give me the challenges and I take it with tat attitude...'dunt sweat the small stuffs....look into the BIG Picture which matters in the end. Indeed, my co-workers still never fail to show me, how tough and complicated human relationship....but hey...this is common ya...dunt expect everyone to think and behave as expected..
Now, talking about the 'FUN' part...not tat I have deliberately chosen that..but i have been meeting 'younger' guys..>>> Yes, it used to bother me alot but these days...i SERIOUSLY find that they are totally much funs and easier to 'get' along.... Especially those who are much mature in thoughts....
Guess,I was always too judgemental about 'younger' guys till the fews who just changed my 'firm perspective'. Yes, I m sure they could teach me things I never realise...
And few more days to go...and it would be tat long needed VACATION!!!
Everyone needs a vacation ya~~~
cheers
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mARRied and~~
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Posted:Mar 15, 2012 4:36 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2012 9:11 am
24439 Views
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Lately,I m back into chatting with my good buddy in australia. Yes,we were so busy and its kind of nice to catchup again. Knowing him for the past three years and seeing him getting hitched, married,and now a new born baby~
Well,he has always been a 'good' guy although I dunt rate him as 100% 'faithfully yours' to the other half.As we were chatting, he told me of lately he got into 'sex' with an ex-collegue. Well, he claimed that both of them were drunk.Ya ya ya, I told him , need not explained it further as I knew it all too well. Of course he said, the moment was so right and who wont bite that piece of sizzling 'forbidden' meat.
Sure,I understand, I had seen many...oh..still seeing many as it is all out there. My buddy told me the other part of frustration of not getting 'READY' hot gals whom he could just jump into and minus all the wooing and time consuming time of getting to know each other better.Of course he emphasised that CHEMISTRY is impt.
Now I cant help not thinking...faithfully yours is certainly a myth afterall~~ of course,thats my personal view and honestly, this whole site is filled with almost 99% married ones~~
its all your choice~~
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feel....
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Posted:Feb 17, 2012 7:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2012 6:31 pm
24309 Views
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he told me he is going thru depression~ seeking treatment for his state of mind~ i m stunned but not so alarm~ the 'bomb' has exploded~ I sensed it long time ago~~ but didnt know it could be so 'BAD'
Lost is my mind~ Care is the 'word' and sadness came in a wave~ as much as I wana care~ I dunt know where to start~ I stay 'still' as tears swell in my eyes~ we were so 'close' before and still close in hearts~
i cant pull him closer i m as lost as him~ DEPRESSION~~ the word tat could mightly eat 'one' UP I cant walk towards but i will cry with him if he needs me to
if he needs me to~ i will choose to as i understand him better than he knew~ and he knew we were tat close before~ to tell me ALL~
i feel sadness tonite~ this is an infection tat i cant stop it spreading~ will he be fine? I will be FINE~~ Just tat Sadness~~ Sinking into my heart~~
nite
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Beautiful~
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Posted:Dec 30, 2011 1:17 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2012 6:34 am
25113 Views
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The previous nite was another round of drinks session with my 'partner in crime' for 15 years, we just enjoyed simply just the 'two' of us for company.The nite was easy and I was sharing with him my 'bleak' outlook in relationships with MEN and he was sharing some of his with me.
After he went back almost midnite,I was kind of surprised to receive his numerous texts.We were just easy and comfy,nothing sexual in thoughts except the nice parting kissings again~~ such gentle and softness with only 'comfortable' feels. It didnt occured to me that he would be thinking of me or missing me ya~~ well he did! hmmmm
The next day,I was supposed to be out partying with him and some others...he texted to tell me,he would just be happy to chill with me. Well,the thoughts of just HE & ME was kind of 'sudden' as we have been friends for more than 15 years and only got back in touch for the past two years. Never would have thought of him as 'one' of the interest as both of us were always 'busy' in the party scene. Of course,its really nice feelings when we started kissing just few days back and its puzzling why this took so long~~
I texted to tell him my confused thoughts and agreed when he said 'just enjoy the company'...True,I was thinking too much again~~ So,he brought dinner~so damn expensive one~~and we had drinks~ Just simply conversations with food and drinks~~great flow!
What followed was beautiful moments with least intention but yes it happened~~ yes,I did it again. But this time round is kind of special as he had been around for so long and yet~ why it took so long? He was such a gentle lover and the feeling was simply 'beautiful'. I would put tis as 'sex with an added touch'~
Well, I know that messing friendship with sex is often not the good choice~~ I dunt regret this time as I would put it as 'enjoying each other' alittle deeper now~
It was a beautiful nite and just so close to a new year and new beginning~
oh..not forgetting to wish everyone 'happy new year' especially for those who have a 'tough time' this year~~ make a great start the coming year and life is a journey~~ treasure and enjoy~~
cheers~~
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So We Met~~
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Posted:Dec 28, 2011 6:01 am
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2012 7:45 am
24999 Views
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Let me recall how often meets ended in 'bitter' notes. Despite my constant reminders before meets that.. DUNT EXPECT SEX~ but most guys took it the hard way~
Here were some that could really amuse me and some just pissed me off~~
Mr so-called good looking, insisted that he wana dropby to say Hi. Blamed my 'feather mind' and his three hours of endless pestering..finally,I agreed to say 'HI' . After saying 'hi',he refused to go and insisted that I spent some time together.... Finally,I was able to 'push'him away despite his 30 mins of pleadings..coaxings and 'sweet-talkings'!
Lesson learnt: DEEPLY AMUSED and No, I wont be 'pushed' to do such ridiculous meet anymore~~ Men..could be so desperate at times...~~ arrrghhh
Mr first timer~` yeah yeah,I was the first HotMatch.com woman he met~(how I hate to be the 1st) Again,before meet, I told him it would be just simply easy afternoon coffee and nothing more.After spending my precious two hours chatting with him,I signalled that I got to go~~ Mr first timer seemed to be kind of upset. Upset because there was no intimacy? Upset because there was no Sex~~
Halo people...Count yourself lucky that I m spending my precious time meeting and I m real. Why would I be offering you SEX just because we meet in the sex site? If that is a 'MUST'have in your agenda,you should have said... NO,dunt waste my time when i had specified....NO SEX before the meet~~ Arrrghhhh....woof woof...be grateful that at least I had offered good conversations and company~~
Lesson learnt~~when are these guys going to learn to appreciate and not assuming that SEX is compulsory in the menu~~ arrrgghhh....
At least,I did have some guys who texted me and thank me for the lovely company~~ at least they appreciated!!!
Well,for those who still think that meets would come with SEX...I m sorry~ and please do indicate clearly before our real meet~` because, nobody would be there to even say 'HI'....
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Droplets of Funs~
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Posted:Dec 27, 2011 8:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2012 12:41 pm
24421 Views
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Just as I thought this xmas would be as 'calm' as I wana it to be~~ despite my attempt to 'lie low' for the season~~ hahaha indeed , i did try~ but the devil just wana come out and play~
So, one nite was of clubbing and nothing really happening~ The following nite was resting and yet I was seduced to 'play'. This 'cutie pie' just got me to the mood and after few rounds of drinks, I seriously cant really remember much~ 'High' was the word and both of us just indulged into that world of just ' u & me'... Guess, its speechless time when he was just looking into 'ME' with tat warmest and knowing smile~~ and me, just staring at his 'pretty face'..everything just seemed so RIGHT ~~
Yes, Santas answered my prayer and sent an angel to warm me up~~ oops, the price to pay~~ had to wake up the early morning to puke and it was so damned awful~~ i hate to drink but i like the 'HIGH' ARRRGHHH~~
Yes, this is pre xmas fuck and tat was 'AWESOME'~
So,last nite, one of my party kaki for years rang me up to meet. We were partners 'in crime' more than fifteen years back.He is tat guy with the 'beautiful' face but just alittle lacking in height(just 1.7m)~and i never dated guys below 1.8m at tat time. Guess tats part of the reason I never let him come any closer to me~~ But I had seen enough of gals falling for his 'beautiful' face and I must say, he is pretty selective too...
We met and had drinks with his friends in his club~ nice feelings especially we were having so much funs in our younger days~ Now we had aged, its really kind of interesting feelings to 'remember' how 'young' we were then~~ In the middle of the drinking session,my exbf..aka FB1 called. Damned,I think he is tipsy and was trying to have some serious conversation~
In fact, I was planning to leave my 'good' partner to meet up with my FB1..but i cant.My good partner wanted to do dinner with me~ So,he brought me to this really nice japanese restaurant and we had a 'feast'.I must salute to his 'knowledge' in choices of food~ although I m pretty selective and exposed to 'exclusive' ones, this guy had taught me 'new' things~ Nothings beat meeting a 'match' who just got tat similar passion and taste~~ oh, we couldnt even finish our second bottle of sake~~
Now,surprisingly,I wasnt high after having the countless cups of sake. We walked to his car and hop in before he made it topless~~ (yeah,it was a sleek SLK). But too bad,my car was just next door and it was certainly a short ride there.
Before we parted,we did the usual friendly kisses on the cheeks~ Somehow,the kissings became lingering ones and then we started having soft, warm,gentle kisses on the lips ~ It wasnt those hungry,passionate kissings...but more of the nice, gentle, romantic ones~~ Didnt kiss too long as we were 'roofless' and there were 'eyes' on the street~~
We laughed and I cant help not feeling that sense of romances~~
Yes...feeling that romances but I m not in love~~ I just love the kissing part~~ endless kissing please~~
OH...I M LYING LOW FOR THE COMING NEW YEAR~~
I feel the warmth of friendships surrounding me~~
cheers~~
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Not Seeking~
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Posted:Nov 28, 2011 6:35 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2012 12:43 pm
25713 Views
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Guess I reached my limit and updated my profile as 'not seeking'. Indeed, this site has too many 'married men' and you cant expect anything more than tat 'superficial connection'. Reality would be simply 'non existence' till the needs arisen.
For me, connections would mean Lover& Fren!!! Of course,if he is a keeper,then I would gladly stay as friends. I just need someone for companionship and its not restricted only to that four walls of the room...and not only SEX! As I had mentioned,each day of ignorance could turn any warm heart into icy cold~~ I can live with that. Dunt expect me to be nice if you only call for sex...I wont be there...not any sane ppl would do tat~~
Recent chats with some guys really tested my limit~~oh,btw ,these are the married ones..I seriously think that they should learn to have some lessons on chatting. This married one started blasting me with lots of questions: wat i work as,where i live,where i swim, what car i drive~~ hell, I think he must be working with the income tax department!
When he uttered this: rich single and capable...great, I like~
I cut him out and said, sorry,I think you are a typical sporean to judge a person by what he/she has~~ you dunt even bother to know the person for who he/she is~~ Damn, I must be mad to chat with him for the past five mins~~ This really dampened my mood ~
Then another married one....started the first two questions with HOW MANY HotMatch.com MEN I Had met~~ hahaha...again ..number questions~ How many...blah blah blah... Arrgghhh~~ Of course,I cant go further with tat...because I dunt count...
Ok, i admit i m difficult but if anyone wanted to chat with that first most evil intention~ I just cant tolerate that! Cant it be easy going and just go with the flow? No~~? ya ya ya..this is a sex site...what would you expect?
Well,i m better off sticking to my blogland~~ and with my 'selected' ones, I could live with tat...
Oh Santas, my first Xmas wish would be~~ i need real warmth for my cold lips,cold hands,cold feets and icy cold heart~~~
ho ho ho ho, i think he got my request in line~~~
soon....i heard his answer~~
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i fell
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Posted:Nov 21, 2011 9:16 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2011 8:29 pm
10114 Views
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i tripped and fell,,, yes, a shocking one~~ i tripped and my knee hit the hard ground~~ for tat long moments, i couldnt move~~ its not the pain, but the 'shock' tat i got... I m fragile and I m feeling beyond pains~~
I M VULNERABLE TO HURTS~~
yes,it was the shock tat hit me and I almost tear~
its a sad day indeed~~
but i promise, tomorrow would be a sunny day again~~
rest~~
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