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The Funks0uL's ...
 
The place where crazy/insane, horny/lonely, fallin love/broken hearted, drunk/sober, upper/downer... ANYONE!.. just be anything you wanna be..

Everyone's welcome
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FOREPLAY SECRETS!!!
Posted:May 23, 2005 12:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2257 Views
Let me tell you..
Always start sumthin with FOREPLAY!
Never ever forget that!

Base on my experiences, most women are need to
be seduced to bring up their big big libido.

So..
Let me tell you my secrets..
Well..
it’s worth to try

Start with Her Hands!
1. Hold her hand gently in yours. Kiss the backs of her fingers. Fingers are a woman's most ignored erogenous zone, according to our local manicurist.

2. Turn her hand over and work your way to her wrist. Keep your mouth closed. Press your lips gently into that tender area above her palm. Do this until you can feel her pulse. She should have one.
Time required: 1 minute

Move on to Light Kissing!
1. Start with her bottom lip. Put it between your lips and kiss it lightly. She should hardly know you're there. (If she falls asleep, she doesn't know you're there. Kiss a little harder)

2. Move on to her upper lip, then her throat, earlobes, and eyelids, in that order.
Keep your lips together, your eyes open, and your tongue in your mouth. For now.
3. As you kiss, stroke her arms and back using your fingernails.
Not too hard, please!
hehehehe...
Time required: 3 minutes

Next: Heavy Kissing (Now you're talking!)
A common complaint: TOO MUCH TOUNGE.

Never extend yours more than a third of the way into her mouth. Instead, use the tip of it to play with the tip of her tongue, the inside of her lips, and the edges of her teeth.
Time required: 2 minutes

Now Kiss All of Her (very gentle, pleaaaaase!)
Most men simply work their way down a woman's body: mouth, breasts, belly button, and so on.

It's not arousing because she knows exactly where you're headed. Surprise her...
1. Focus on overlooked areas: her inner thighs, the backs of her knees, behind her earlobes, and the tops of her breasts (not her nipples).
Jump from spot to spot.

2. Use small, sucking kisses. Add pressure with the tip of your tongue.

3. After kissing one area, gently blow on it. She'll get a chill; that's a good thing.
Time required: 4 minutes. But hey.. if you think it’s too long, or too short, just add some time yourself. Hahahaha!

Start Using Your Hands.. It's gettin more skill from you!
1. Don't be rough with her breasts. If her nipples aren't erect, don't clamp down or twist them. Instead, use the flat of your palm to rub her entire breast in a circular motion. Start lightly and increase the pressure as she becomes more excited.

2. Once her nipples are firm, take them between two wet fingers and slide back and forth. Don't squeeze.
Time required: 2 minutes

Head South
1. Rather than going straight for the clitoris, spend some time stroking her outer lips with one or two fingers. That will provide indirect stimulation to the clitoris, which is all she's ready for right now. Use long, slow strokes.

2. Gently part her labia and use your thumb and forefinger to stroke along the sides of her clitoris and her inner lips. Don't actually touch the clitoris yet... you'll know when she's ready.
Time required: 3 minutes

The Last Thing to Do... (VERY IMPORTANT!)
Check her for signs of arousal:
- Erect nipples
- Heavy breathing
- Firm clitoris

If they're all present, kiss her deeply as you slowly enter her. Pause for several seconds, then start thrusting. Foreplay's over.

Three More Moves... (then you'll score!)

Score with foreplay If you want to light her fire, you've gotta have the right kindling
First impressions count just as much in the bedroom as they do anywhere else. Even if it's the thousandth time you've taken her to bed. See, as far as she's concerned, the real satisfaction comes long before your underwear hits the floor. Women need foreplay a lot more than men do to help them get turned on. A cursory backrub or a lingering gaze are fine when you're flirting, but they don't even tip the scale when it comes to foreplay.

Most women are going to need more than that if they're going to orgasm later on, and that’s for sure!! Trust me on this.

We know you're making an effort. And we know that sometimes you're just so eager to get to the main course that you skimp a little on the appetizers. It's natural. So in case you need a little help applying the brakes, we've developed three plans to liven up what you do during those critical first 15 minutes
(yup, you should be aiming for 15).

Execute these correctly and she'll be begging for real sex.
Harness the power of massage.
Massage is one of the best ways to form an intimate connection with partner. And since its something everyone can do, and that everyone enjoys, its an unbeatable form of foreplay -- as long as spend a few minutes working on your technique.

The trick to giving a good massage, and to making sure your partner gets the most out of it, is to start away from the genitals.

You know why? Because the goal here is not to give the kind of relaxing deep-muscle massage you'd get at a spa.

You want something more stimulating. Try focusing more on your partner's skin and less on her muscles. Think feather-like touching, not deep muscle kneading.

Take her time and go over every inch of her body. By the time you get to her vulva, she should already be halfway to orgasm. Slide your finger along her vulva from time to time to see if she's wet. When she is, that's your cue to move on.

Take her to Fantasy Island (hhhmmmmmmmm?!!!)
You should think of this as though you're putting on a play, not going out on a date. Once you've decided on a fantasy (preferably one that you know turns her on), gather your props and dress for your role just as you would if you were an actor on stage. I could say that the fantasy you plan can be as simple or elaborate as you like, just make sure you commit fully to the role.

And also, act like you don't know each other just to make things more intense. If you're doing a first meeting fantasy, start talking to each other like you just met. Ask questions about who you are, what you do, and that sort of thing. Just make any conversation you can think at that moment, just don’t be nervous!

Then, start stroking each other in public. Move to the car and make out there for a while. Then invite her in like it's your first time together. Have her put on something sexy and don't let her take off her makeup or do any household chores before you move to the bedroom. You want everything to be as natural and real as possible.

Don't forget to keep up the act after the foreplay's over. Talk to each other as though you were still getting to know each other sexually. Sex talk is a part of foreplay. That’s the most verbal stimulation and it can be very vital to drag her into your fantasies or anything you’re trying to do throughout the entire evening.
Never forget this!!

Undress for success (You're the MAN!)
It's a common misconception that women don't appreciate a good striptease. Done sincerely and lightheartedly, stripping can be both fun and erotic, even if you don't have washboard abs.
Pick a time when your partner won't be expecting a surprise. Then, start your planning. Set the stage in advance and get your props ready. Don't rely on the radio for music. Find a favorite song with a good beat and have it ready in advance. Pick out an outfit without a lot of buttons or zippers.. something you look good in and can get out of quickly.

The whole idea with stripping is to take the sameness and make it different. Then, when you're ready and your partner comes home, sit her down in a chair, tell her she can't get up until you tell her to, and hit the music. Don't worry about feeling foolish, or having your partner laugh at you. Just concentrate on your act, and your partner's eyes. You want to make your motions as sexy and intimate as possible. You don't have to know how to move to do a great strip for your girl. If your dancing doesn't seem to be working, move in closer and try being a little more sensual.

For most women, whatever effort you make will be enough to get their juices flowing. Step in towards the chair and swing your pelvis around, but don't do any touching. If she touches you, that's OK, but don't let things progress until your act is over.

Stripping is an art form in which you can reveal the real you.. so don't dive into the lovemaking until the strip is over. Keep it simple and time it to end when the music does. Trust me, five or six minutes will be plenty and it'll be time to shift your focus to getting her clothes off.

Well, those are basically just what’s I’ve been going through, plus the knowledge I’ve learnt.

So..
Nothing to lose peps!
GOOD LUCK
0 Comments
SEX.. SEX.. SEX..
Posted:May 23, 2005 10:58 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1542 Views
The Greatest trick the Devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he never existed. Hence, I prefer staying in the background, blend with the surroundings with the occasional pop-ups and chew a chump of your ass with a sarcastic one liner. Me emerge too for the occasional organic substance, you know what..

Drugs.. Drugs.. Drugs..
I don't do cocaine, coz it messes up my brain.
For the sake of having a good time, I do pop pills (dumster..dumster..dumster)
I dont do no LSD (too often).. but candy flip would do just great!
But I dont mind a kiss, from the lovely Miss Mary (Mary Jane).

Sex.. Sex..Sex..
Me obsessed with sex?
That's such a stereotype fiction!
hahaha...

Blaming women for thinking with her heart is like blaming the compass for pointing North!
Am I right, guys?!

Besides, I'm not a player, I just crush a lot!
Well.. that's what I think at least

Honestly, I'm not like that.
I don't blame you guys for thinking of such too as I tend to project it superficially.
Me is a one woman man.
a many one woman man.
Hahaha...

I believe, in the philosophy of intercourse, there are 3 categories to be observed. Firstly, there's f**king, having sex and lastly Making Love. And you happen to be fixed at the third.
Yeah... you there!

The one's that looking through my profile...
So how you doing?

Well..
That's all from me..
ENJOY THE RIDE !!!

DISCLAIMER:
All the sexually orientated contents laid down in this profile is sheer fictional and does not portray the lifestyle of the Author. It was created for the entertainment of the readers but the role could be brought to life with merely a drop of mobile numbers into my message inbox.
0 Comments
Just be good to everyone.. Let's make friends?!
Posted:May 14, 2005 4:30 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1147 Views
"Take fly boss walk jam nitty gritty
You're listening to the boy from the big bad city
This is Jam Hot !!! "

People always talk about
REPUTATION !
I don't care about your others..
Just be good to me...
Just be good to me

Friends are always telling me
I'm a user
I dont care what you do to them
Just be good to me

Love is a game of chances
So I'll take my chance with you
And you I won't try to change
We talk about it and I'd
Rather have a piece of you
Than out of nothing

Just be good to me in the morning
Just be good to me in the afternoon or evening
Yeah just be good to me
I'm not the jealous kind
I won't tie you down
When you need me I'll be around
I'll be good to you
You'll be good to me
We could be together, be together

- Dub Be Good To Me (Beats International) -

Well..
That's all from me.

Cheers
0 Comments
Just be good to everyone.. Let
Posted:May 14, 2005 4:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1153 Views

"Take fly boss walk jam nitty gritty
You're listening to the boy from the big bad city
This is Jam Hot !!! "

People always talk about
REPUTATION !
I don't care about your others..
Just be good to me...
Just be good to me

Friends are always telling me
I'm a user
I dont care what you do to them
Just be good to me

Love is a game of chances
So I'll take my chance with you
And you I won't try to change
We talk about it and I'd
Rather have a piece of you
Than out of nothing

Just be good to me in the morning
Just be good to me in the afternoon or evening
Yeah just be good to me
I'm not the jealous kind
I won't tie you down
When you need me I'll be around
I'll be good to you
You'll be good to me
We could be together, be together

- Dub Be Good To Me (Beats International) -

Well..
That's all from me.

Cheers
0 Comments

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FOREPLAY SECRETS!!! (3)rm_papijkt
Jun 27, 2005 9:31 pm