69
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Posted:Oct 5, 2014 9:17 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2014 5:43 am
8797 Views
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oh the 69, easily one of the biggest punchlines in jokes or commonly identified sexual terms, however I have found its not as practiced as it is talked about. I love it, I like to idea of concentrating on pleasing while feeling pleasure, I also like a challenge to make my partner orgasm before I do!
Some people like to give and some like to receive, but with the 69 position you can have the best of both worlds. This position is designed for mutual, simultaneous oral sex. It may be a little difficult to concentrate on what you’re doing with your tongue when she’s busy at work between your legs, but the novelty of being pleasured while pleasuring her is well worth the effort.
I found this article, hits on some good points but misses others.
When it comes to 69ing, there are some dos and don’ts in order to make it a pleasurable experience for both of you. For the purposes of this article, we’re referring to 69ing as foreplay, so we won’t cover ejaculation etiquette, which inspired an entire article of its own.
Take A Shower
As with all sexual acts, especially those involving oral stimulation, it’s imperative to be clean and well groomed down below. Nobody wants to be greeted by unpleasant odors or a jungle of hair; this is bad 69 etiquette. So if you’re going to try out the 69 position, clean up and keep it trimmed. Better yet, jump in the shower together so you can ensure both of you smell and taste fresh and clean.
Initiate Gradually
You should make a point of easing her into it, especially if it’s the first time you’ve 69ed with her. Don’t just throw her on top. Make the transition part of your foreplay and gradually get into position. She should take the hint from there.
She Goes On Top
If one of you has to be on top in the 69 position, it should always be the girl. Chances are, you are heavier than she is, and allowing her to take the top position will prevent her from being crushed if the 69 session takes a while or if you get too carried away. This also helps you to avoid accidentally kneeling on her hair. Another benefit of her being on top is that she can control the speed, depth and angle of penetration, so you’re less likely to accidentally gag her. Letting her have control means better oral pleasure for you, so this is really a no-brainer in terms of 69 etiquette.
The 69 position can also be done with both of you laying on your sides, which may be a more comfortable option if you plan to keep it going for a longer period of time. This way, you can use each other’s inner thighs as pillows for your heads, making the arrangement very comfy for a more drawn out 69 session.
Don’t Forget Her
When you’re trying out the 69 position, it’s important to not let the good feelings you are getting distract you from the ones you’re supposed to be giving. This is a mutual oral sex arrangement, so it’s not fair if one of you starts concentrating too hard on receiving oral sex and neglects to perform as well. If this is a problem for you and you find your mouth constantly becoming lazy while hers is busy, you might be better off performing oral sex on each other separately, so your partner can have your full and undivided attention. This is common sense 69 etiquette.
Stay Away From Her Bum ( if that is what she wants)
This position may give you easy access to all her private parts, but it’s part of 69 etiquette to make sure she’s comfortable with it before you explore beyond her vagina. Some people find anal stimulation very pleasurable, but others find it horribly disgusting, so getting an idea of where she stands on the issue before you go anywhere near her bum is a good approach. If she invites you to go there and you’re all for it, then you can let your tongue wander wherever it wants. If you don’t establish this beforehand, you may experience a very abrupt ending to your 69 session.
By following these 69 etiquette tips, you can have a mutually satisfying oral sex experience and be a considerate gentleman at the same time, which greatly increases your chances of 69ing again. It is a truly unique sensation to be giving and receiving oral pleasure simultaneously — one that no one should miss out on.
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Some good positions!
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Posted:Oct 1, 2014 6:20 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2014 7:48 am
9365 Views
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These crazy sex positions may look intimidating at first, but with a bit of practice you’ll be glad you stepped over into the wild side!
Orgasmic Reflections
Place a long and thin door mirror between her legs while she's in doggy style. While you're doing the deed, look down (make sure she does too) and see the penetration happening from an angle you've never seen before, says author of Sex in South Beach, Dr. Sonjia.
GI Jane
Dr. Sonjia says this position is only for the fitness-minded folks! She should lay on her “strong” side and straighten the arm closest to the ground to prop up her torso. Grab her upper leg, step over her lower leg and lifts her body into the air by her upper leg. She uses her strong arm to balance her upper body and you place your other arm under her hips to hold her steady. As soon as she feels stable, start thrusting before her strong arm wears out!
All-Access Pass
One of dating coach Laurel House’s favorite all-access positions is when you are on your knees with your hands pressed up against the headboard or wall and she is laying on her back between your legs. This gives her the ability to suck your penis while she gently plays with your balls with one hand and simultaneously presses just the tip of her finger into your anus, giving you three times the stimulation.
Add a little unexpected but amazingly erotic and orgasmic excitement and change up the All-Access Pass when she uses one hand to quickly handle your shaft — your base to tip, the other hand has just the tip of one finger pressing into your anus, and here’s the best part —- she is licking and gently sucking your ball sack.
The Flying Buttress
A variation on the Cowgirl, this position is great for show-offs: She’s on top but facing away from you, with her head at your feet, says Claire Cavanah, Babeland co-founder and co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex. This position gives her total control of depth and movement. You may be pinned down with little control, but you do get a chance to rest. Get ready for an amazing view as she straddles you!
Head Over Heels
Have her kneel on the floor with her arms bent by her sides (think bottom in the 's Pose from yoga class), says Lisa Sweet, author of 365 Sex Thrills: Positions, Tricks and Techniques for an Erotic Year. You then stand behind her and, bending slightly, grasp her knees and lift her until she is almost completely vertical. You can then maneuver yourself inside of her. The upside-down head rush will intensify her orgasm while the lifted angle will add new friction to your penis. If she has strong arms, give sex in every room of the house new meaning by taking a walk-a-thon during the action.
The Reverse Dugout
This is a spicy and unique woman-on-top position where the two of you are intertwined in ways that you've never been before, says Nikki Ransom-Alfred, certified Sex Expert and author of 30 Sex Positions and Tips for Getting Wild, Rough, and Kinky. She is on top with her rear facing you. With your penis inside of her vagina, she can lean forward to where her breasts are touching your legs and wrap her arms under your legs while she moves her hips. You can lie there and enjoy the "ride" and also caress and spank her bottom. You get a great view of her beautiful bottom and she gets to feel your penis penetrate and stimulate her vaginal walls in a completely different way. Add a little spanking to this position if you two want to get extra kinky.
The Diamond
Ransom-Alfred says in this position she lies on her back and forms a diamond with her legs, with her knees pointed outward and feet together. This allows you to get deeper into her vagina and stimulate her G-spot and her A-spot. Stimulate her clitoris, too, to drive her wild and give her an intense orgasm.
360 Squat
This position is hot for the men who love ladies that love squats. You go flat on your back on the bed or floor. She starts by squatting over you, facing you. She sits onto your penis ever so slowly and squeezes her vaginal walls as soon as she makes contact with your shaft. She squats shallow, shallow, then deep, taking all of you inside of her. On the next shallow squat, she turns 1/4 of a turn clockwise, so her side is facing you now. Repeat the shallow, shallow, and then deep squat, with her squeezing her vaginal walls each time she makes contact with your shaft. Then she makes another 1/4 turn clockwise, so now her rear is towards your face. Repeat the shallow, shallow, and then deep squats before making another 1/4 turn. Dr. Sonjia says that with this position, chances are you’ll climax before she makes the full 360 turn. Hot. The best part about this is that she is in complete control and can experience different angles, some of which she'll find are much more likely to bring her to climax.
Lift Off
This is a standing position you often see in the movies when the couple so urgently want to get down to business that they don’t even bother to get undressed or to lie down! You are standing and facing her and holding her up while she straddles you, which can take a lot of strength. If you’re not feeling so superhuman that day, try backing her up against the wall for a little support, suggests Cavanah. This position can be all about location, location, location — get out of the bedroom and try it in the kitchen, your office, or the living room!
Raised Doggy
Also known as the Wheelbarrow, this delightful position will bring out your inner gymnast! She’s got her hands on the floor while you’re holding onto her hips or thighs and running the show from behind. Cavanah recommends this position as one where you’ll get an amazing view from behind, with the added bonus that it often gives a tighter fit than facing positions.
The Cow
This is a very sexually raw pose, focused much more on stimulation than intimacy, says Dr. Ava Cadell, founder of Loveology University and author of Idiot's Guides: Kama Sutra. She stands with her legs shoulder-width apart and bends at the waist to place her hands on the floor or around her ankles. You approach from behind, and, as you thrust, you can reach around to fondle her breasts or even her clitoris as long as you have solid footing.
Which are your favourites???
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Sex! for your health!
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Posted:Sep 26, 2014 5:48 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2014 6:06 am
9436 Views
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Sex the cure for everything!
not sure these are all super factual, but who wants to stay healthy with me! lots of sex!
Check out the following list of 22 diseases you can fight with passionate love making:
#1 Sex protects against prostate cancer
Research suggests that frequent ejaculations (at least five times per week) in males reduces the risk of prostate cancer.
#2 Sex helps with keeping fit
There is nothing like having fun (and having pleasure) while playing sports! Making love is good for your heart activity. It also helps to naturally tone the muscles of the body. That seems hard to believe, but while making love you burn about 200 calories in half an hour. If you make love three times a week, you can burn up to 600 calories in total. And it’s much more engaging and fun than a diet!
#3 Sex relieves headaches
During sex, a hormone called oxytocin; it increases the level of endorphins, acting as a natural painkiller. The body then goes into a more relaxed state.
Many people notice that their aches and pains (headaches, cramps, etc.) disappear after sex.
#4 Sex helps fight depression
Women who have regular orgasms are generally more relaxed, less depressed, also physically and emotionally more satisfied.
Sex assists with creating better sleep patterns and relaxes nervous tension by producing, serotonin in the brain – which controls mood elevation.
#5 Sex keeps you young
Sex is one of the key components to looking at least 10 years younger than your age! In his book, “Secrets of the super young,” Dr. David Weeks, a psychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, compiled the lifestyle of about 3,500 people, aged 18 to 102 years. Respondents were having sex at least three times a week and they all seemed to appear years younger than their actual ages. These beneficial effects have also been confirmed by numerous other studies.
#6 Sex protects against incontinence
In women, regular sex promotes exceptional health of the pelvic floor, thereby reducing the risk of age-related incontinence.
#7 Sex heals the mind
Making love is a welcomed pleasure of life, an offering where we share physical closeness and depth. Making love is a healthy desire of the body, heart and spirit that fills us with energy, tenderness and life. It’s a way of communicating with all your senses and feelings. A meeting place where creativity intersects, healing and peace.
#8 Sex makes you happy
People who are sexually active are generally happier (which is great for the immune system) and less prone to depression.
#9 Sex protects against insomnia
Lack of sleep has a negative impact on our daily lives. For insomnia, experts recommend, among other things, to quit alcohol and caffeine, watch TV less often and take a relaxing bath before going to bed. Making love can be added to this list of tips for sleeping well. Men fall asleep almost instantly after sex, and toxins released during the act have a tranquilizing effect on women.
#10 Sex protects against diseases of the skin
Making love regularly releases a flood of hormones in the body, called “hormones of happiness.” They contain testosterone. With age, testosterone levels decrease. So having sex provides a good level of testosterone in the body.
This hormone plays another important role: it keeps the bones and muscles healthy, not to mention the youthful appearance of the skin.
#11 Sex protects against breast cancer
Orgasm can help to prevent the onset of breast cancer. An Australian study suggests that breast stimulation in women releases a hormone called oxytocin. The precise study states due to oxytocin being released in large quantities during orgasm, frequent sexual activity could have a protective role against this type of cancer.
#12 Sex protects against cardiovascular disease
Sex is very beneficial for your heart. A study at Queen’s University Belfast shows that making love three times a week reduces by half the risk of heart attack or stroke. In women, sex increases the production of estrogen, known to fight against heart disease. And there’s good news for men too: another study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health says that sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack; 50% more compared to men who have sex only once a month.
#13 Sex improves esteem
It is known that as appetite increases eating; the more you have sex, the more you’ll crave it. To enhance sexual arousal, the body gives off a very large amount of pheromones, which, like an aphrodisiac, make you even more attractive for your partner.
Feeling wanted makes women and guys feel attractive and proves that it’s an excellent tonic for our self-esteem!
#14 Sex increases self-control
Having sex regularly soothes and reduces stress. It provides mutual fulfillment and self-confidence among both partners. A recent study in Scotland showed that sexually active people are more likely to keep their cool and manage stressful situations.
#15 Sex protects against Influenza and asthma
According to researchers, making love at least once or twice a week increases the production of antibodies (immunoglobulin A) that protects us from viral infections such as Influenza. Sex is a natural antihistamine: it fights asthma as well as hay fever.
#16 Having sex increases your lifetime
Sex not only makes you feel younger but research shows it can actually slow the aging process. When you reach orgasm, the body secretes DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone or prasterone), a hormone known to improve the health of the immune system, while also repairing tissue that helps keep skin supple. DHEA also promotes the production of other hormones such as estrogen, which can prolong life by improving cardiovascular health. This indeed proves that sex truly rejuvenates!
A 1981 study showed that the mortality rate among those over seventy years was lower among men who were still sexually active …
#17 Sex invigorates your pelvis
Kegel exercises involve contracting and relaxing the pelvic muscles. Experts recommend that women practice kegels every day to prepare for the demands of pregnancy. However, in order for results to be effective, your pelvic muscles must be exercised daily. Fortunately, there is another way to strengthen these muscles. In fact, without realizing it, making love tones your pelvis. And the more the muscles are toned, the greater the pleasure during sex is.
#18 Sex helps to protects women against mental illness
According to a study, sperm, when absorbed by a woman, assists with regulating her hormones and thereby reducing the risk of mental illness.
#19 Sex heals back pain
It has been shown in studies that vaginal stimulation has the effect of increasing tolerance to pain. Self-stimulation of the clitoris also exerts an analgesic effect. According to researchers, this type of stimulation can relieve pain caused by menstrual cramps, arthritis, back pain and various other ailments.
#20 Sex and kissing protects against cavities
Kissing each day keeps the dentist away. Saliva cleanses and decreases the level of acid which causes cavities and prevents against dental plaque.
According to a French study, analgesic, in saliva, called Opiorphin relieves physical pain and inflammation-related pain.
#21 Sex assists with easing the symptoms of Sickle cell disease
During intercourse, the heart beats faster and thus increases the oxygen level in the blood and the rate of blood flow. These two natural responses help to prevent sickling of red blood cells and thrombosis.
#22 Sex contributes to overall happiness
The moments of pleasure and affection that we share with our partner remains invaluable. These moments of close intimacy strengthen your relationship with your partner and with yourself.
Economists from the University of Warwick had fun comparing how sex and money contributed to happiness. After interviewing 16,000 people, the main finding is that those who are happiest are also those who have sex the most. And the impact appears to be stronger among individuals with higher levels of education. In addition, a higher income…
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Slow pussy sucking
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Posted:Sep 23, 2014 5:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2015 1:40 pm
9305 Views
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This was pretty hot to read so I figured I would share!
I would love to explore this with a woman, I love slowly sucking a pussy!
this is from my tiny secrets!
Women naturally desire sex that is connected, earthy, sensual, and artistic.
They want permission to be turned on. The rules are simple:
1. GO SLOW
Slower than you could ever imagine. Slow so you can feel her, smell her, taste her every cell.
2. BE UNPREDICTABLE:
Her orgasm responds to the elements of surprise. Just let yourself feel, don’t think too much. Follow your own sensation and where it wants to take you. Desire co-arises, so whatever feels best to you will be the most sensational for her too.
3. LEARN TO HOLD:
Once you’ve gotten her to a place of intense sensation, don’t move.
Hold there as long as possible so she can absorb all the pleasure that’s available.
MAKE THESE GUIDELINES YOUR ONLY TECHNIQUE:
Let your desire be your compass. Connect to your senses and let them guide you. You’ve honed your skills through OM; there’s nothing to do except trust. The orgasm is there.
Exercise: Slow Oral Sex For Her.
PART ONE: PREPARATION
Consider OMing first. After being stroked a woman’s body will be fat with orgasm. If you choose to begin this way SAFEPORT her first. Tell her you intend to stroke her and you will not give her grounding strokes at the end like you usually do. Instead leave her high and full and ready. Draw her out physically and with your words.
PART TWO: COAXING HER ORGASM INTO BLOOM
Help your woman take her clothes off. Go slowly. Linger. Show care with every button, every hook, every zipper. Lay her down on the bed and begin with her feet.
Press your thumbs into her arches until you feel her let go and relax. Ask her to communicate sensations to you. Ask her to tell you what it feels like in her body. Keep drawing out her sensation until you feel that she is truly ready to begin.
Treat her whole body as a sex organ and put as much attention on her neck, her chest, her nipples, her stomach. Don’t just go straight for her pussy.
Spend some time teasing and coaxing her body to open and surrender to your touch and confidence.
Firmly and gently place a hand on each knee and press her legs open. Feel the heat increase between you. If she moves, tell her to be still.
PART THREE: DRAWING OUT HER ORGASM
With one soft finger, gently skim along her inner labia. Add lubrication if that would feel good. Feel how soft her labia are, like tissue paper. Feel how, when you stroke very lightly, you can almost feel the ridges of your own fingerprints.
Bring your finger to rest just below her clit but without touching it. Ask her to tell you a secret. Tell her you won’t budge your finger until she tells you something confidential. As she starts talking slowly move your finger closer to her clit getting as close as you can without actually reaching it.
Draw out her desire with soft kisses, firm intention, and gentle pressure on her inner thighs. Ask her to tell you how her pussy feels. Tell her a sensation in exchange, be specific.
Lick the outer rim of her labia on both sides. Lick just enough to feel the blood pumping in your lips. Then slowly, starting at her introitus, draw your tongue up the centerline of her pussy.
After a few gentle strokes take the whole of her clit into your mouth. Draw it in. Move your tongue along the bottom ridge of her clit, where the inner labia begin to separate. Up and down in the ridge, as gently as you can. Pause and feel how her clit extends itself father into your mouth.
Now take the whole of your mouth and engulf her clit. Move the soft inside of your lips around her hood while keeping the center of your lips wrapped around her clit. Make your mouth big and soft. Try pulling back and exhaling heat onto her clit before diving in and sucking some more.
PART FOUR: GOING DEEPER
Curve your tongue and insert it into the pocket that forms under her hood, just above her clit. There is a spot somewhere along the top ridge of the clit where you can feel a slight electrical current, like when you rub your tongue over a copper wire. Keep moving your tongue over that spot.
Fuck her there, digging deeply as if you were burrowing inside her. The more attention you give the more the spot expands until its pulsing under your tongue. Once it’s pulsing you know she’s open. Wrap your mouth around the whole of her hood as you move your tongue around this spot, just above the clit.
While you are sucking her, take two fingers and slide them inside of her reaching up to the spot that would be the back of her clit. Rest your fingers there. Don’t move, just press very gently. Notice how the pressure pushes her clit from behind, how it pops forward into your mouth. Suck it as if you were sucking all the juices out of it. Feel the flow all the way down to your cock.
Begin to move your tongue in a slow rhythm that she can catch on to. If it starts to feel tight or tense, pull back and breath. Exhale. Ask her if she desires a climax, if she wants you to suck her until she comes. If she says yes, tell her you will be drawing her over rather than pressing her over. Gently ask her to communicate if she would like you to move faster or apply more pressure.
Continue to push her clit slightly from behind, while sucking and moving your tongue over her. You do not need to add speed or pressure unless she asks for it. Keep sucking, but pull your tongue back on top of her clit so she can lock into you. You can create a beautiful arc where you hold her in total stillness as she comes.
If or as she goes over stay present and connected, do not try to make anything happen.
Simply magnetize her orgasm towards you. As you release the sucking, feel her body go into familiar contractions. The longer you stay in the stillness the more powerful the contractions will be.
As the contractions slow, move back slowly so that you can apply pressure anywhere on her body. Heavy pressure feels very good and grounding after she’s climax. Put pressure on her thighs, her legs, her chest. When you feel her relax, stretch out and lie on top of her until you can feel every part of her body exhale. Do not worry if she begins to cry. Wrap your arms around her so she knows you are still there.
Then, tell her a secret.
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a joke!
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Posted:Sep 15, 2014 6:10 am
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2014 6:16 am
9122 Views
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Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year.
One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named after soda pops.
The first one i called 7up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up.
The second one i called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do.
The third i called Jack Daniels." Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. Isn’t Jack Daniels hard liquor?" The girl smiles and says "Yes it is"
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Cosmo sex positions that wouldn't work???
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Posted:Sep 9, 2014 6:13 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2014 11:04 am
10100 Views
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long time no post, the summer was just so busy!
I read this article that said these positions won't work, I have done some of them and they have worked but I found the "what would happen" section funny!
have you tried any of these?
Passion Propeller
What Cosmo says: “Once you make the 360-degree jaw-dropping journey, you and your man will feel like sexual dynamos and may even keep on spinning for rounds two, three, and four!”
What would happen: After unimaginable pain and discomfort, both of you will agree to never try anything outside of missionary ever again.
2. V For Vixen
What Cosmo says: “Most men are so inflexible, they think a knee bend is an Olympic feat, so he’ll worship you as a sex goddess.”
What would happen: You’ll discover most women are as inflexible as men.
3. Submarine
What Cosmo says: “The feeling of weightlessness combined with the sensual deprivation of not being able to hear since your ears are submerged will allow you to surrender to the bliss of your partner’s member throbbing inside you.”
What would happen: Having your head partially submerged, with the water filling your ears and blocking your hearing, is all part of the charm of this position. Along with, you know, one strong thrust away from accidental drowning.
4. Torrid Tug of War
What Cosmo says: “Lower yourself onto his penis and wrap your legs around his back. As you’re sitting face-to-face, grab each other’s elbows and lean back against the other person’s weight — like a coy tug-of-war game.”
What would happen: You’ll soon discover you’re both holding in gas. A lot of gas.
5. Vibrating V
What Cosmo says: “Straddle him, face-to-face, in a chair. Grasp the back of his neck or shoulders for balance, then lift your legs so your calves are on his shoulders, and ride him. Since his hands will be free and your clitoris will be front and center, have him use a vibrator on it for a killer simultaneous orgasm.”
What would happen: The fear of falling backwards off a chair will all but consume what could have been a nice, quiet night.
6. Sexy Scissors
What Cosmo says: “No other love lock will offer you such a body-rockin’ range of sensations. One second your limbs are in an erotic X and you’re supertight for a snug fit — then suddenly you’re wide open and able to take him in deliciously deep.”
What would happen: Surprisingly, the realization that being treated like a household tool is both not sexy and takes a lot more coordination than anyone expected.
7. Downward-Facing Doggie
What Cosmo says: “Take doggie-style to a new level of XXX by mixing in a little yoga. Have him disengage for a second, then get into a low downward-facing position — your butt is high in the air, with your hands and feet the only parts of you touching the bed.”
What would happen: The realization that your years of yoga have contributed nothing to your flexibility will kill the mood for the rest of the night.
8. Rock His Boat
What Cosmo says: “Have your guy sit against the side of a small boat. He should lean back and keep his knees bent and legs apart while resting his arms on the edge of the boat. Straddle his lap and take him inside you.”
What would happen: Seasickness? Drowning? Being listed as a sex offender for having sex on a public lake?
9. Ladder Lovin’
What Cosmo says: “In this half-in, half-out-of-the-water position, only your lower bodies are submerged. So each time your man thrusts, cold water will splash against your exposed skin, electrifying all of your nerve endings.”
What would happen: Some awkward half thrusts and slipping on rungs before deciding having sex in the public pool probably isn’t the best decision anyway.
10. Yes! Yes! Yes!
What Cosmo says: “With your guy’s legs confined between yours, you’ll be treated to lots of quick, in-and-out moves — sending a tsunami of sensation to the nerve-rich first few inches of your pleasure zone. And because of the upside-down pose, the instant blood rush to your head will heighten each thrust…”
What would happen: Awkward sliding, the discovery that blood in your head during sex is the last place you want it, and an eventual collapse onto the floor.
11. The Hot Rod
What Cosmo says: “Rest one foot on the edge of the tub as you reach up and check that the rod is securely fastened to the wall. If so, grip the rod with both hands to steady yourself (not to hang on).”
What would happen: A wet floor, a needed trip to Home Depot, and a future lifelong anxiety around showers.
12. The Erotic Accordion
What Cosmo says: “This position is the ultimate rev-your-engines role reversal: He’s curled up on his back; you’ve mounted him like a Harley. The switcharoo will kick-start your sense of power and allow him to show his more submissive side.”
What would happen: You’ll quickly wear yourself out before entering a shame spiral about how you always skip leg day at the gym.
13. Love Triangle
What Cosmo says: “Lie on your back on the floor or the bed with your left leg sticking straight up in the air. Take your right leg and stretch it out to your right side, so that it rests at a ninety degree angle to your body.”
What would happen: Charley horses. Just, so many different charley horses.
14. The Lusty Leg Lift
What Cosmo says: “There’s a reason guys are drawn to a kick line of cheerleaders: Flexibility is h-o-t. Most men are so stiff, they think a knee bend is an Olympic feat — so pull this one on him and he’ll worship you as a sex goddess who knows how to stretch sexual boundaries.”
What would happen: You’ll be raring to try this, only to become despondent over the fact that your “bliss button” is actually a foot lower than his “rod” while standing.
15. The Head Game
What Cosmo says: “Getting into this position, you may feel like you’re headed nowhere — but it’s totally worth it once you experience the results. The blood rush from your thighs will intensify the sensations in the pelvic region.”
What would happen: A lot of awkward attempts at making a penis bend downwards, a severe neck ache, and the inability to ever be aroused by the idea of getting head again.
16. Twist-a-Girl
What Cosmo says: “If his head is propped up with a pillow, he can watch you as you move up, down, and around his penis — a surefire guy turn-on. Seeing you work your magic on his member will have him hot and heavy and dying to touch you.”
What would happen: You’ll discover, as you attempt to spin around on a rod that only bends one way, things you would never assume can break. Good-bye, libido.
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Hang ten position
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Posted:Aug 8, 2014 5:45 am
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2014 5:55 am
10564 Views
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Hang ten!
I love positions where I get to stand, the leverage I can get means I can thrust hard and deep! enjoy
While standing up, bend forward with your legs spread slightly, your back straight, and your hands resting on your knees for balance. Your guy enters you from behind, pulling himself as close to you as possible while holding your torso for support. Have him bring you even closer until your bodies come into full contact. He leans slightly over you to gain pumping power.
This hang-over pose is excellent for that need for fast, frenzied sex. Being bent forward gives your guy maximum depth and control, and the angle allows for incredible pleasure. Since his hands are wrapped around your body, he'll be itching to wander over your breasts, hips, tummy, and thighs. And unlike typical from behind positions that can leave you feeling disconnected from your dude, your lower torsos and legs are always touching — making the position feel secure and intimate.
Urge him to stay still while you grind your behind in circles; the sudden sensation alteration will take your breath away. When he starts up again, you slow it down for a while — with both of you moving, it could easily get too hot to handle. Then again, maybe that's the goal.
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Ride of your life!
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Posted:Aug 7, 2014 6:27 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2014 5:26 am
9293 Views
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I love a woman who knows how to ride, but honestly I have been with way too many woman who really had no clue what they were doing on top, but I found giving some helpful tips really made them pro. There is nothing hotter then looking up at your partners breast bouncing as she stares you in the eyes while riding you!
some tips!
Your guy lies on his back. Facing him, lower yourself onto his penis in a kneeling position. Keeping your knees on the bed, curl your feet around the inside of his legs, likely around his knees. Lean forward and grab the bedsheets on either side of his head. While holding the sheets — and your feet wrapped around your man's calves — squeeze your butt, tilt your pelvis, and move in small, tight motions.
Giddy up! By gripping the bedsheets and using the self-created "stirrups," this quasi-cowgirl configuration offers lots of leverage — you'll maintain a steady rhythm without losing momentum before reaching orgasmville. And since your body is positioned higher than in the typical girl-on-top, your clitoris can easily rub against his pubic bone.
By grinding in quick, controlled motions, your private parts stay in constant contact with his, making you and your man feel oh-so carnally connected. You can up the ante as you like, taking the wild ride from slow and sweet to bucking bronco. Best of all, you get to pick the pace.
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teasing tips!
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Posted:Jul 29, 2014 11:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 5, 2014 6:01 am
9883 Views
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6 teasing tips!
1. Bite her lip
When both of your clothes are still on and you’re kissing in the bedroom, bite her bottom lip slowly and hold on to it for a couple of seconds. Be VERY gentle, the softer you can do this the more passionate it will feel and the more turned on she will become.
2. Kiss her neck (and earlobes)
Move from her lips on her cheek and then onto her neck and earlobes. Both licking and kissing at the same time. The earlobes are very sensitive so, spend a minute on those before going back to the next.
3. Tickle her back
Whilst you’re kissing her, use both hands to tickle her back (over her clothes) then put your hands directly under her top. Lightly scratch her back whilst still kissing her… this will make her shiver a little.
With either hand, gently and slowly unclasp her bra (if you can do it with one hand it looks much better) but two are fine. If you can’t undo a bra, then start practicing !
4. Be firm
Every now and again you need to mix the teasing up with being both firm AND gentle, so she doesn’t know what’s coming next (this will spice things up in no time).
Grab her hands, lay her down on the bed and put her arms above her head… if she struggles then hold her arms.. and slowly run your hands down her arms… kissing her all the way down to her belly button.
5. Don’t be predictable
Stop going straight for the boobs and pussy straight away, that’s not teasing… it’s just being predictable. Only go for the boobs when her top is off and you’ve kiss her neck, chest and stomach.
When you start kissing her boobs, always kiss around the nipples first on either side, then look up at her as you FINALLY lick her nipples. She’ll let out a groan and arch her back, which is great sign she’s enjoying it.
You can also gently bite one nipple with the lightest of bites and twiddle the other one, giving her double the pleasure, heck throw in a pinch if you want… and gauge her reaction to everything so you can see what’s best.
6. Bottom to top
With her top and bra removed, the only things left are her panties (and jeans or whatever she’s wearing). Go back up to her head and kiss her again, working your way down past the boobs and stomach, then hover over her pussy.
Slowly remove her jeans or whatever she has on (and also her knickers), then begin kissing from her left (or right) foot all the way up her leg.
Take a good 2 to 3 minutes per leg, because she’ll be getting so turned on by this point, she’ll be ready to eat you up.
Once you’ve done the first leg and you’re back near the pussy, brush your lips over her little lady garden… making sure you breathe heavily on her along the way.
Start again on the other foot and work your way up
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Breast pleasure!
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Posted:Jul 24, 2014 11:56 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2014 5:07 pm
8192 Views
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I just want to say I love breast! I don't consider myself a breast man because why would you limit yourself to one part of the body when the whole thing is amazing! Also like the penis another area where size does not matter!
A woman’s breasts are undeniably one of the best ways to ignite her sexual arousal. The nipples and the surrounding area are so sensitive that the right stimulation can be enough to give her an orgasm.
When you learn how to play with her breasts, you can open a whole new door and explore the limitless pleasure possibilities – with her breasts and her mind.
Why She’s Craving for You to Know How to Play with Her Breast
The breasts and nipples are often a very much overlooked erogenous zone on her body. Many times men play with breast in a way that doesn’t turn her on – in fact depending on her sensitivity it can be downright painful.
Did you know…
The nipple itself is not the most sensitive part of her breasts. It’s the area surrounding the nipples that hold the most promise of pleasure.
Opening a New World of Sensations
Before our modern cars, it was necessary to warm the engine before you drive around in cold temperatures, or the car wouldn’t run properly.
The same applies for her. If you don’t warm her up beforehand, you’re missing out on a whole range of amazing sensations she’ll experience with her breasts.
Tease Her
how to play with her breasts
Photo by fuckcemetery.
A great way to begin playing with her breasts is to gently trace your fingers around her breasts in a circle without actually touching them. This is especially effective when you are behind her, as you can simultaneously kiss her neck to drive her senses crazy.
The Invisible Touch
Touch is such a misunderstood process. Around 99.99999 percent of our atoms is empty space. That means the only way we can touch at all is because of repulsing energy.
But our bodies are remarkably sensitive and able to pick up the slightest hint of energy – of course if we pay attention.
Try slowly running your finger down your arm, am close to your arm you can get without touching. Can you feel that? That slight tickle?
Now imagine now amazing that would feel on her breasts. This is a great way to begin warming her up and raising her receptiveness to sensations – and make it more pleasurable for her when you begin to touch her.
The Pleasure Circle
A great technique for playing with her breasts is to trace your fingers in a circular motion around her breasts, slowly moving towards her nipples. This will allow the sensations to accumulate slowly and build on each other as you get closer to her highly sensitive nipples.
Make sure you spent a good amount of time building the pleasure in her breasts before you actually touch the nipple. The longer it takes the more sexual tension she’ll accumulate.
Remember where not only stimulating her breasts, but also her mind.
Fine-tune the Amount of Pressure
How much pressure you apply when you play with her breasts can make a world of difference. And since every woman is unique, the amount will vary. You should always make a point of sensing her reactions.
How does she react when you lightly trace your fingers around her breasts?
How does she respond when you move faster?
How does she respond when you press more firmly?
Use her moans, body movements, and reactions as a guideline to find just the right amount of pressure to keep her lost in the wonderful sensations.
Using Your Hands to Play With Her Breasts
how to touch her breasts
Photo by viababy.
As she begins to become more aroused, you can start rubbing her breasts lightly with your palm. Again when you are just starting to use your hands, just lightly glancing over her nipples and breast will feel BETTER than if you applied more pressure.
Use Your Mouth to Play With Her Breasts
When she’s dripping wet with excitement and arousal, it’s a great time to use your mouth. Gently kissing is a great way to introduce your mouth. Light sucking can also feel really amazing, especially when you simultaneously message her breasts.
Explore Her Most Sensual Exogenous Zone
One of the most important factors when you play with her breasts is realizing that the entire breast can be explored and used to give her pleasure. Focusing on her nipples only limits her enjoyment.
Also take your time – the breasts aren’t just a pit stop on the road that leads between her legs. Take the time to properly arouse her breasts and you’ll be shocked how much this can turn her on.
What's your favourite?
have you had a orgasm from just breast play?
any other tips?
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21 unsexiest and sexiest things about sex
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Posted:Jul 22, 2014 2:17 pm
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2014 5:48 am
8953 Views
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This is pretty funny two fairly young ladies wrote these, the first on in the METRO a online urban media outlet from the UK so then VICE had one of their writers to a response to it!
Metro article:
The 21 unsexiest things about sex (because it’s not all making ‘love’ and orgasms is it?)
1. The smell. That smell. You know the one. The indescribable combination of semen, lady juice and sweat. Nice.
2. Removing socks. Hey, let me just try and hop around naked while I pull a sock printed with dinosaurs off my foot. Especially unsexy when your partner is trying to continue the foreplay by latching onto your nipple while you wrestle with your ankle.
3. Fanny farts.
4. Or even worse, those real farts that slip out when you least suspect it.
5. Getting sex cramp in your leg. Feeling like someone may have slipped a dagger into your thigh and not knowing the best way to respond.
6. Getting semen in your eye. Or in your hair. Or anywhere that isn’t your private parts. How long are you supposed to wait until you start the thorough clean-up process?
7. Also, swallowing semen and trying to pretend that it tastes like a peanut butter milkshake rather than, well, a slimy, salty bogey.
8. Your underwear. Because however much you try and plan it, you’ll always get laid when you’re wearing the greying pants with a hole in the back. You should really throw those bad boys out.
9. The awkward ‘oh… you’re bleeding’. It’s never actual blood though, just that brown-coloured discharge *shudders*.
10. The crab shuffle off the bed, and the race against time to make it to the toilet without leaving a stream of semen in your wake.
11. But failing, and having a nice trickle of the white stuff down your leg.
12. Trying to talk dirty. What words are you supposed to use? ‘I want you to stick your willy in my pussy’ *is sick all over self*
13. Trying to strip, while sober and in silence. Oh, you don’t get an erection from me battling with my jumpsuit?
14. Orgasm faces. They’re probably quite similar to the face of someone who’s just been shot. Probably.
15. Pubes. They’re scratchy and wirey. They get in your mouth. They need grooming. They’re just a sex hazard aren’t they?
16. The sweat. The sweat that makes your perfectly placed fringe stick to your forehead like a greasy pre-, and your make-up melt down your face until you look like a serial killer. Cute.
17. Dryness. Trying to approach foreplay with the excitement levels of the Sahara Desert. It sorta hurts.
18. Doggy style. Just, doggy style. What horrible person invented this?
19. The crippling jaw ache that comes with too much blowing. Imagine if you put that much energy into the gym, eh?
20. Willies and vaginas in general. No, really, think about this one. Are they not just the ugliest things on your entire body? Why couldn’t they just look more like your arm or something?
21. And finally, rolling into a wet patch you had no idea was still there.
VICE article:
PARIS LEES' 21 SEXIEST THINGS ABOUT SEX
1 – The smell. If you don't like the smell of sex, I don't know, maybe you're not human? Sex smells… sexy?
2 – Socks. When your trusted fuck-buddy stuffs socks inside your mouth and ties your hands behind your back while ramming you like a champ. You people all do that, right?
3 – When a guy cums inside you and leaves himself inside and then you feel it getting hard again and he fucks you and cums again without ever taking it out. Not only is that sexy, you don’t have to worry about fanny farts that way, Hannah.
4 – Squeezing a guy while he’s inside you. It’s kind of like your pussy/butt saying, "I got you, homie."
5 – Speaking of which, when he puts it in. And it feels like you’re sitting on an air freshener canister. Oh. My. Lord. What do you mean it’s "not all in yet"? Go, go gadget dick!
6 – When you can tell your lover is really into it. When they groan. And it’s genuine. When a guy looks like all his birthdays came at once because he’s here, with you, Paris “Yes it’s really me, and yes I really am like this in real life” Lees, and cumming like a Roman candle. You know that’s how it goes down in a PL session.
7 – Semen. Is great. I probably like it best when it comes as a surprise (no pun intended) like when you’re shagging some guy at a house party and some next dude walks in and you’re like “Hey, come join the fun!” but he’s so horny as he pulls his dick out he just ends up jizzing over the both of you (seriously, what had we all taken that night?)—or maybe like when you’re wanking some stranger off in a dark room and you suddenly feel this warm, wet dripping in-between your legs and down your thighs onto your leather miniskirt. Dude, you didn’t tell me you were close! Hot!
8 – Your underwear. Call me old-fashioned if you like, but I really don’t think you can go wrong slutting it up with lingerie, champagne, and copious amounts of you-know-what. It’s traditional, right?
9 – Fucking weirdoes. Literally fucking them. Like people you truly wouldn't want to introduce to your mates. Some of my most leg-shakingly good shags have been one-offs with pot-bellied perverts wearing dirty band T-shirts from the 90s. When you don't care what they think, you can let go and let loose! You might want to ask them to double up on the condoms, though.
10 – Using all the sex juices to get yourself off again. Fuck me that’s good.
11 – Watching yourself be a bad girl in the mirror. I really feel like a spit roast is wasted if the person in the middle doesn’t get to see how it looks, ’cause it looks fucking horny.
12 – Talking dirty. Agreed, it takes some chutzpah and genuine passion to pull it off, but what are you? A mouse? Or a fucker? You’re a fucker—so call me a slut and tell me to suck it.
13 – When you’ve been kissing and fondling for a while and getting really quite sticky down there and you look at your partner with a sense of urgency and tell them to rip your knickers off, at which point they know that you really, really want it, and down they come, right past your ankles, while the hot space between your legs throbs in anticipation. You know those hands are coming up.
14 – Looking into someone’s eyes as they cum and watching their pupils dilate. It’s really beautiful.
15 – Hearing your neighbors at it. Wow, turns me on. And fuck me, if anyone ever needed a good shag it was those miserable cunts next door.
16 – The sweat. Hannah has sweat on her list of unsexy things but Hannah is wrong. Just. Wrong. If you find someone attractive enough to let them bump uglies with you, Hannah, you really need to be down with their sweat. As do they with yours. Seriously sweetheart, this isn’t choir practice. It’s sex. If you’re doing it right, people perspire.
17 – Wetness. Man or woman, it's really hot when your lover starts leaking. If you're too grossed out by bodily fluids, I have to ask, what are you doing having sex? Sex is juicy. Good sex is even juicier. If you wanna know if he loves you so, forget his kiss—it's in his precum. Although kissing's hot too. Just all of it, I guess.
18 – Doggy style. This is hot when you just want to get fucked like an animal—a dog, say—and it has the added bonus of leaving your hands and mouth free should his friends require simultaneous servicing.
19 – Number 19 on Hannah’s list is “jawlock,” which I do sympathize with, really, I do. I’m a feminist. But then she’s like, “Imagine if you put that much effort into the gym, eh?” and I’m like, really? You’re thinking about going to the gym while you’re giving head? But anyway, Hannah’s list is WACK and number 19 on my list is “manhandling,” which is when a man with big strong hands and vein-y arms handles you. Grab my throat! Pull me hair! I can take it!
20 – "Willies and vaginas," as Hannah so quaintly puts it. She thinks they're weird and ugly, but I think they're special buttons of never-ending pleasure. And I don’t care if you’re homosexual, heterosexual, or Capricorn—eating out is glorious. Warm wet tongues were made for warm wet clits.
21 – Rolling over back onto his dick again. Hannah rolled onto a wet patch. Hannah rolled the wrong way.
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Penis size!
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Posted:Jul 21, 2014 11:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2015 1:40 pm
7953 Views
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In a world of supersize cars, jobs, meals, and just about everything else, it's hard to stop thinking about whether bigger is actually better for everything. Men are competitive when it comes to their ability to satisfy women, and unfortunately after years of locker-room comparisons, the go-to source of pride or shame is the size of that with which they're working. So, does penis size really matter? Well, yes, but you'll be shocked to find out who for.
Striving to be the best is par for the course; while your date-night antics don't necessarily qualify as a sport, and you won't be in the running for an Olympic medal this year, peak performance is always on your mind, especially when it comes to sex. As we all know, it takes more than height to make a great basketball player, and more than biceps to make a standout football star. The same can be said for savvy lovers who have better sex — physical equipment isn't everything when it comes to knocking it out of the park, and women aren't shy about singing the praise of skill over size.
Unfortunately, not all guys seem to believe those women, so lets rely on science to reassure you that the size of the package matters less than the method of delivery.
It's All In Your Head
OK, it's time for some scientific facts and figures to put to rest some of the outlandish myths circulating about whether or not penis size matters and what's normal for the vast majority of men out there. A comprehensive worldwide study of more than 40 independent penis size research projects, undertaken since 1942, has come up with a general penis size guideline. With over 11,000 participants, the survey puts the average erect size of the adult penis between 5.5 inches and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 inches and 5.1 inches in girth.
If the science doesn't do it for you, and you're still wondering "does penis size matter," then the study also took a look at perceptions of size and asked more than 50,000 heterosexual men and women how they rated their own size or the size of their partner. They found that 85% of women were satisfied with their partner's penile size, but only 55% of men were satisfied. Notice anything? The women were much more forgiving and didn't feel like they were dealing with inferior goods if they weren't being bludgeoned with porn star-worthy penises. Chances are that women within measuring distance usually have better things on their minds than finding a ruler, and if they don't, penis size probably shouldn't be your first concern.
What She's Thinking
Do you think you could accurately identify what 5.0 inches looks like within ¼ inch? Yeah, I didn't think so. And guess what, most women couldn't do it either. The variances in the middle ranges of penis sizes only offer about ¾ of an inch from the low-end to the high-end of the scale, including the supposed racial variances that have seeped into popular culture but remain largely unsubstantiated in the scientific community. So, unless you are the proud owner of a significantly smaller (under 4.0 inches erect) or significantly larger (over 7.5 inches), your partner's ability to identify your exact size and judge you on it are pretty slim.
Every penis is different, and just like women's breasts, each has its own set of characteristics, and there isn't much consensus on what makes an ideal member. Even so, women seem to be in agreement on a few things in this department: If given the choice between larger-than-average size with below-average skills and average size with above-average skills, there is no contest: Skill beats size every time. However, if it makes you feel better, keep her perspective in mind. When you look down and catch a glimpse of yourself, the vantage point won't be as kind as when she's seeing it up close and personal. If you've ever used your fingers on a woman, you'll know that they are much smaller than a penis and that she seems to like them just fine.
Logistical Notes On Penis Size
Now that you have a handle on your size and what she thinks of it, it's time to put her under the microscope. The vagina is a pretty adaptable thing and can comfortably accommodate both large and small penises with the same relative degree of comfort. Translation: There's no physiological reason for a large penis being inherently preferred over a more modest one. In fact, the vagina of a woman who hasn't had a is only 3.0 inches long when she's not sexually excited, and even when she's aroused the average increase in size is only about another inch.
Even if you happened to be packing an impressively long barreled pistol, anything over the average is going to waste anyway — there wouldn't be anywhere for those inches to go. Couple that with the fact that the first third of her vagina (the third closest to the opening) is the area that houses all of the nerve endings — therefore, it's the only area that actually registers sensation. The end result: According to a recent survey, 90% of women prefer a wide penis to a long one because increases in length do little to enhance her physical pleasure.
Get In The Game
Worrying about your penis size or lamenting your lack of it won't do you much good in the long run. If anything it will hurt you — and your chances for better sex. Being self-conscious will put a kink in your confidence and will probably prevent your next sexy encounter from having any kink in it. While studies report higher numbers of sexual conquests for men with larger-than-average penis sizes, that statistic can be a bit misleading. Since it's doubtful that the women were aware of the size prior to getting into bed, it can be argued that the increased number of sexual partners was a result of confidence and comfort rather than size itself. Fortunately for you, confidence is a much easier thing to come by than a few extra inches.
If you are truly concerned with your ability to fulfill women, try to learn all you can about satisfying her all round, and learning tips, techniques and positions that can maximize what you've got. If that doesn't work, a quick manscaping can give you an extra visual inch to impress her with — not that you should really care about penis size that much in the first place.
What do you think? does size matter to you? anyone want to help me measure mine and experiment to see how much it satisfies you????
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good? bad? sextips?
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Posted:Jul 9, 2014 7:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2015 1:39 pm
8644 Views
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20 tips for men???
I saw this and thought I would share, I want to be clear I did not write this or agree with a lot of it, what do you think? is this just shitty men's magazine stuff or is there some merit?
1. Everyone is bisexual. Everyone has thought about it, fantasised about it, wondered if a gun were held to their head, could they do it? If they tell you otherwise, they’re a liar. My sexual preference is ‘often’. That’s the only box i’m ticking.
2. Dirty talk is not completely necessary. Statements of fact can be surprisingly effective e.g. “you’re so hot/hard/wet”. And by all means alert the church elders with a pre-climax warning “i’m going to cum, i’m going to cum, Oh Jesus i’m going to cum.” But sex is one of the only times in our excessively over-articulated lives that it is perfectly ok, indeed, preferable to shut your mouth and let your hands do the talking.
3. Don’t try to make up for the size of your dick by slapping me across the face with it. Would you find it a turn-on if I whipped you up-side the head with my saggy tit? Think about it. And furthermore if you grab the back of my hair whilst i’m sucking your cock, your chances of getting head again, EVER, will diminish by at least 98%. Check if face -fucking turns a girl on before you grab her ponytail and ram your cock down her throat so hard that you give her an involuntary tonsillectomy.
4. What is this obsession with men removing all their pubes? Why the ever-loving-fuck do you think it looks better? Your balls are UGLAY. Hide them. Hairless genitals look odd (on men AND women). Don’t let society make you think that your short and curlies are dirty. If you don’t fancy dripping hot wax on to your sack and crack every few weeks, that is fine by me.
5. We can tell if you’re giving us oral purely as a cursory prelude to sex, a “do I have to do this?” reciprocation of the head we’ve just given you. We can tell if you aren’t enjoying it, and it will make us tense and less likely to enjoy the penetration that you are so keen to fast-forward to. A guy once asked if I “took a long time to orgasm?” as if the problem was with my vagina, rather than his shit technique. Get comfy down there, cos chances are you’re going to be in it for the long haul.
6. This is more of a general rule about how to treat your partner, based on trust and sensitivity. If we do/say/eat something stupid when we’re having sex/drunk/high/hormonal, we don’t need reminding of it the next morning. Saying really loudly on the bus “remember when you did a really loud fanny fart and then cried after you orgasmed” will make me hate you forever x infinity.
7. Another general rule: If your mate says something derogatory and you don’t defend us, even if it’s true, we will hold it against you. Forever x infinity
8. Real boobs are fun to play with but look like flappy spaniels ears. Fake boobs look nice but feel like shit.
9. ‘Jack Rabbit’ sex is never good (aka pow-pow-pow-poke-poke-poke-the-quicker-i-ram-the-faster-she’ll-orgasm). This method, reminiscent of teenage fumbles when he had no idea what he was doing and you were too embarrassed to tell him, will hurt and annoy us. Slow and steady wins the race.
10. If a girl is dry, it’s not her problem, it’s yours. Spit. Lube. Slow and steady caresses. If she’s Saharan it’s time to add a new ingredient to the recipe.
11. Don’t complain endlessly if we want to use a condom despite being on the pill. Sometimes we don’t want to ruin yet another pair of knickers from your semen seeping from our lady-garden for the next 12 hours.
12. Drunk sex is better than no sex. But do try to limit your intake of WKD. Intoxicated banging will climax with nothing but sore genitals and possibly an incurable STD.
13. If you call me ‘bitch’ in the street I will punch you in the neck. If you growl it in my ear whilst flipping me over in bed, i’ll get highly aroused. Same goes for slapping, biting, and using the word ‘pussy’. None of these things are appropriate in everyday situations but can be highly effective in the bedroom. Though I may want you want to fuck me like a , I still want you to treat me like a lady.
14. What you think of as ‘no make-up’ is actually a carefully devised cosmetic procedure including cheek stain, translucent mascara, combed eyebrows, sparing concealer and subtly glossed lips. Don’t be surprised that when we wake up we actually look like Tim Minchin.
15. Finger banging is not the one.
16. We don’t want to hear about your ex-girlfriend, ever, even if you’re bitching about her.
17. Eye contact is the best way to say “I want to fuck you.”
18. It is highly unlikely that any of places are where your soul mate is hiding on a social networking site. But if you do happen to ‘stumbleupon’ a potential lover, don’t kill the romance by obsessively refreshing their facebook wall. There’s a fine line between following and stalking and chances are, every single one of us has pissed all over it at some point. It’s tempting to over-analyse every detail so don’t take the internet too seriously.
19. Not letting a woman kiss you after she gives you head is a surefire sign that you’re a selfish, sucky lover. Ditto cuming in a girl’s mouth without giving her the option.
20. The media is forever telling us to be light-hearted about sex, to play, to giggle. But here’s the thing: sex isn’t funny. My breasts don’t ‘honk’ when you squeeze them. Pulling your penis out of your zipper and turning your pockets inside-out is not a hilarious impression of an elephant. When my vagina makes that noise like a vacuum cleaner back-firing it’s because i’m super turned-on and wet. It’s highly common and indeed fairly hilarious (in the pub, not in the bedroom). Ultimately, it’s not embarrassing it simply shows enthusiasm (and, possibly, a wide-set cervix). The most important thing on a date is a good sense of humour, the most important thing in bed, is that you’re good in bed.
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To link to this blog (heywpg) use [blog heywpg] in your messages.
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