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| Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
strange fruit
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strange fruit nightmares are curious things aren't they? sometimes they are so clearly not real that they're scary only in the moment but fade into nothing when you wake. others are so real they seem like they are the world and waking seems like moving into a dream. i've been having a series of varying but similarly themed dreams lately and i am having difficulty standing astride the two worlds. there is a book by Dekker called circle where a man dreams of another world in one world and when he wakes he is in that world and lives it as real until he dreams and wakes up back in the first world. the ideal of parallel worlds is not new but Dekker starts connecting emotion and content....bridging the two...if you consider string theory, not all that improbable. dimensional physics is less scifi than TV to me. so, who is to say that my "matrix" world is not my real world? me? well i guess, but what about the people in the two worlds..do they get a say? okay, a bit out there. but the fact is, the dreams are so vivid and so clear and so filled with the feelings that i struggle with. and my day, well, my day seems all about not dealing with those same feelings. just keep on moving...make sure you pay the bills...go to work...do the laundry...worry...feel tired... and the cosmic wonder of emotion is set aside, shelved... the mundane takes over. when i was in my twenties, i fell in love. i hadn't felt much of anything for the prior 5 years so this opening out was extraordinary to me. and nothing seemed mundane. i of course did all the crap we have to do to keep the people with nets at bay, but my reality, my world... was the magic of the emotions, the total connection with the world...that fact that i blossomed...lived. we grow up...or we shut down...call it what you will. but how often in your life right now, do you feel totally, wholly alive and connected? as if you are part of the gestalt, as if the universe is absolutely accessible and nothing is unachievable. there’s a line in an e.e.cummings poem where if i remember correctly, he is talking about seeing christ and says he was “made of nothing except loneliness”. I think a huge number of people are like that…sort of emptied out. so while i know that sitting at my computer typing this is “real”, i still FEEL the other world... and weep for the wanting of it. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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strange fruit but not forbidden...wow we...did you climb inside my head!!!!  []   Seduce my mind and my body
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Well I look at things a bit different. I am a spong, I soak up all things. What I choose to keep is entirely up to me. I'm 51 and MORE open today then I was 20 or 30 years go. How's that figure in?  -tm
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I love my dreams. I have always have such vivid ones...ever since I was a child and I think in some sort of level that is my place to go to, almost to visit the 'real me' Slightly similar to certain activities on this very site. My day is spent coping and trying to flourish..in my dreams I can experience and wallow in those experiences some good, some not so. I'm far more truthful to myself in my dreams. As for being connected, I feel that only fleetingly. I think I chase that. I long to feel truly part of something. And I don't mean a relationship. The made of lonelieness thing...resonates with me, but on good days there is a liberation in that. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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7/18/2009 4:40 pm |
Hum! On occasion, I dream of some thing or hear a phrase I will actually experience the very next day before sundown. I believe in a parallel universe. And, we have two lives going on - living one, and watching from another that had already done yesterday. I'm a Real sucker for nipples Originator of the Cock Salad
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I know whereof you speak. I frequently have dreams that are so vivid, so 'real,' that the waking world seems pale by comparison. AKA The Clit Whisperer. 
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Dang, WE, this is pretty deep stuff! Personally, I don't dream anymore. I think my dream brain cells have been killed off by the Macallan single-malt scotch (or maybe the Jack Daniels sour mash whiskey). As far as the keen edge of tingly, youthful love sensations, I think it has been dulled by the hard reality of life's experiences and observations. Once that keen edge has been ground down over time by the abrasives of life, it is very difficult to restore it. Therefore, no longer having the capacity to dream nor to sense those tingly, exhilarating feelings, I content myself by fishing, golfing and drinking more scotch.
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