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| Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
turn me on........not off
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turn me on........not off I Want a Man by smartass woman. well, it got me thinking....what do i want in a man? and if you prefer the ladies, what do you want in a woman? i was out last night with some galpals and of course we were dishing on men. one said, "how about the guy who showers AFTER sex, but not before" ......ick. and yeah, a sense of humor.....sure....we all do. i want the real deal here tell me about the little things that make you smile inside, that send that twist down through your belly. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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Ah jezzzzz... Now here's a prime example of the paradoxes presented by what women actually want: Here's one woman quoted by we... "how about the guy who showers AFTER sex, but not before..." (for this comparison purpose, I assume before is the preferred modus operandi) Then, we have smartass woman stipulating... "i want a man who smells like the ocean and moss in a forest" News-Flash! Ya can't have both, ladies! Wait: come to think of it, Old Spice has some new man-juice out these days--ya know... take a shower to wash all the rock-cod forest stink off ya and then splash on a little Old Spice Coastal Climes Cologne. Yeah. That way you can satisfy both the shower AND the oceanfront pine-pitch fetishes.  You babes actually believe those commercials; don't you? I know ya do. Solar...
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WE ... Building on Solar's comment, guys smell one way on the first date and maybe a couple more after that. We splash that smell-good stuff on real liberally at first. Then after awhile, we figure you ladies like us for who we are, not what we smell like. So we cut back on that nice-smellin' stuff. We figure we might as well save some money somewhere 'cause the florist bills are pilin' up and those candlelight dinners are pretty damned expensive too. We figure you want us to keep our beer bellies toned down, so we go to the gym or jog or walk or at least cut back to Bud Light. If we don't run out of time before a date, we do shower. But sometimes the football game goes into O.T. and we're havin' a good time with our buds down at Buffalo Wild Wings, so we don't have time for a pre-date shower. 'Hope you can understand how hard it is to be a man!
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I gotta expand MUTi's viewpoint a tad further... As to "...after awhile, we figure you ladies like us for who we are, not what we smell like..."; that appears to work out as long as you're dating (and dumb-as-dirt... no offense intended, MUTi.) However, once that knot is tied, familiarity begins to breed contempt; and contempt, allowed to mature into its extremes (over some period of years), simultaneously seems to evolve into allergies. I know; I've witnessed it first-hand. My ex-wife was always sneezin' and coughin'. After being gone for some few months, her symptoms subsided, and after about a year, she was completely free of any signs of irritation caused by my particular "aroma". Of course, showers had little to do with her condition. She clarified that for me by informing me it was more an issue with my abusiveness. Now, I never knew (until a year after she left) that "brutal" honesty had been incorporated into the psychological toolkit and was to be considered... are ya ready(?)... spousal abuse (no; not the physical sort.) For some unGodly reason, I had labored my entire adult life under the (apparently) false assumption that honesty was always the best policy. Just goes to show how freakin' wrong a man can be, these days. I've learned my lesson well, though. From that very point... I decided I ain't never bein' "brutally" honest (or even gently honest--can't be too careful) with any woman--ever--period. They're allergic to it. But... I'm pickin' me up a case of that Old Spice man-juice just to be on the really safe side. I've been known to slip... now, and again. Solar...
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Ya mean this question?... "tell me about the little things that make you smile inside, that send that twist down through your belly." 1) popcorn... with butter (not margarine) 2) cheap tacos... with Sysco Foods Jalapeno Sauce (the best in the freakin' world) 3) bein' able to login, here... without having to retype my username and password every freakin' time! 4) workin' 5-8's instead of 4-10's. That extra half-hour in the morning is just like wakin' up with a hard-on... when someone else is there. 5) wakin' up with a hard-on... when someone else is there. Is five enough? Well, it's gonna have to be, 'cause that's all yer gettin'. Solar... BTW: Oh yeah... as to what I said; she asked me what was wrong (for years) and I told her (for years.) Apparently, that ain't a kosher thing to do. So, now... when I'm asked what's wrong (not that I am), I just say... 'not a freakin' thing, Baby. Life's just a bowl, full of cherries.' BTW#2: MUTi and I are NOT compatible. Not in the hitchin' kinda way. BTW#3: Danica Patrick took third at Indy! Way to go, ya sexy little go-kart bitch...
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WE, I can't add much to what ol' Solar said! I agree with him almost 100% ..... except I prefer Whoppers to tacos. I will take your advice and start showering before I go out on an official date. 
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diXXXie... It's a little something from the Clinton era, Lady! Care ta sample it?  Solar...
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we... "oh and waking up to a man with a hardon.......sorta....can he brush his teeth first?" Don't tell me--it's a shower-related issue; am I right... or what!?Well, so much for that magical boner. We'll try again in a month or two; mKay? Gadzooks, we; that's why God invented Listerine strips. They're a lot more compatible with those rare-as-clean air hard-ons than a freakin' toothbrush is.  Solar...
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5/30/2009 9:19 am |
his laugh...just the sound of his voice when he say "hey" on the phone and he knows it's me calling... his sense of humor his optimistic outlook on life, even when things could be better his adoration of his children and grandchildren...appreciating their spirit and not trying to change them... his ability to find humor and joy in every day and the sexy way his mind thinks.  "All you'll get from strangers is surface pleasantry or indifference. Only someone who loves you will criticize you." - Judith Crist, crack film critic
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6/4/2009 9:38 am |
 awww...thank you  "All you'll get from strangers is surface pleasantry or indifference. Only someone who loves you will criticize you." - Judith Crist, crack film critic
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