Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > passionately68 > My Blog |
I had no strenght for this.
|
I had no strenght for this. For those of you that left me messasges referring to the strenght I had during this........I hate to burst your bubble. I was not strong. I walked around as if I had a knife in my heart. I cried incessently, couldn't eat and could sleep. I had a million things going though my mind but I couldn't focus on even one of them. He had walked out on me and left me with all this debt. Even though I knew he was never coming home I missed him. He had been my rock and now he had crushed me. He had blind sided me and I just could deal with it. I had loved this man with all my heart and soul and I had believed that he loved me the same way. That first night alone I had gone though the house trying to find some I could take to ease this pain. I had a bottle of tequila and an old prescription of morphine, left over from my seond husband. I had the feeling that neither of those would work. I had stopped smoking for 15 years but that night I got in the car and drove to buy a pack. I sat in the patio and smoked and cried but nothing worked. Now 7 years later I am trying to quit again. About 7am one of my middle 's called and told me that Steve had called him that night. Mark said he was crying and told him he had left his mother and that he needed to take care of me. Mark was alway my grounded . All my 's liked Steven but my didn't. Mark told me he wouldn't say anything until I was ready to announce this. I told Mark that I didn't think I would ever be ready. I was such a mess and so embarrassed by it all. Mark said he was going to drive down. I didn't want him too but I knew he would anyway. He arrived about noon and he just came in and held me in his arms for the longest time. Then he said he was going to fix breakfast for me and I told him I just couldn't eat but that I needed to sleep. But he fixed me an egg and toast and I choked it down. I went to bed after that and cried myself to sleep. I woke up about 6pm and I was in a cold sweat thinking I had a nightmare. Mark was sitting in a chair in my room. He told me to get dressed and he was taking me to his home. I told him I didn't want to go there because I couldn't stop crying and I didn't want my grand to see me. Mark understood that but he was relunctant to leave. Finally I told him I would call if I needed anything. Mark didn't know about all the debt...he only knew that Steve left. The next morning I called Steven's mother. She was devasted that he had left me. She had always been so happy that he and I had found each other and were so in love. She had falled on hard time early in our marriage. She is a very intelligent woman though and had moved down to Tijuana, MX and had rented a lovely apartment with a view of the Pacific. She had a younger male room mate that she said was weird but he paid 1/2 of the rent. All she had was her social security and a little internet business that supplimented her income. She told me she was taking the train up to Irvine and she want me to meet her there and she would take me down to stay with her. I told her I would and I did. She knew that I was in debt and she paid for my train ticket and took me to her place. It's hard for me to remember all the things that happened but I am going to take my time with this segment of my life and gather more thoughts. I appreciate that you are reading this and I am grateful to those of you that leave me messages. I will be back to this tomorrow.    |
|||||
|
Looks like you have recovered from your loss. Very nice boudoir photos. Sexy! Woodrow J. Evers
| ||||
|
Just wanted to lighten it up. Not recovered in the story yet but don't want this to be all so serious at times. Thanks for stopping in and maybe go back and read some more. Judy{=}
| ||||
2/23/2016 10:53 am |
You are looking fabulous today that would of been a tough ordeal to go through alright
| ||||
|
no way are they 73 year old breasts and nipples, they are amazing.
| ||||
|
It is only natural to be completely devastated after being blindsided by such a terrible turn of events Judy. Talk about a triple whammy, the man you so passionately love deserts you, leaving behind crushing debts at a time your health wasn't its best either...most folks, including myself, would have drowned their sorrows in self pity, large amounts of alcohol & copious consumption of drugs...you have showed remarkable survival skills that in the end only reflect what a tremendous spirit you have in that you didn't spiral into what would have been the easy option of just giving up....those of us who know you are blessed that you have bounced back so gallantly. {=}
| ||||
|
I could have sworn you were talking about someone I knew.The smartest guy no college knew something about everything.Maybe that's why I said I wasn't moved.He left so much carnage in his wake despite my girlfriend telling friends and family that there just wasn't something right about this guy and all his charm.I was absolutely sick after reading some of the signs you wrote of.It all finally caught up to him when someone hired a private investigator that started trailing him.He was in the process of bilking someone else. Youth draws us in and makes us alive again and see things in a different perspective. I really had a hard time reading that.Sad thing is there a million stories like yours even as we speak.There is nothing else I can say because I am still reeling in shock and disgust.It's no wonder women don't like honest guys anymore.I came here a little less than two years ago that was the first time in my life I had a woman tell me she was sorry she missed my funeral. It was and is cold.Nothing left now!Have fun and watch your back! Using more than all the road!
| ||||
|
This has happened to more friends and family than I care to count. And it's always been the most terrible pain than anything else that we end up feeling. It's almost like that wonderful, magical, cloud 9 feeling that we have when we fall in love has to be balanced out by the exact opposite when it ends. But there's also something that I've noticed your story has in common............. Despite it all, you have family and friends who really, truly, honestly, without expectations or conditions, care about you. If you can find your way through the tempest of your other difficulties............. love will find it's way to your heart again. A woman like you is a jewel that any man worth his salt will crave. And the will lay themselves at your feet with the hopes of gaining your attention..............
| ||||
|
Hi Judy, don't want you thinking I have deserted you but I have been posting on here and notice my posts aren't on here anymore. I am sorry to hear about your daughter going thru a divorce and she has finally came back around to you and you two have grown closer again. Dixie had another colonoscopy done today, she was and is still passing blood but she got a good report no cancer has came back and Dr. said because of the radiation she will have this blood passing as long as she is alive, so will have to get use to it. She says the dilator still makes her bleed and she can only go so far with it. she is always telling me to find someone that I can go to bed with and enjoy myself and I keep telling her that isn't the reason I continue to see her, I like her company and being round her. Hope you are doing alright and will get back to the blog soon....Take care. xxx.....Jerry
| ||||
|
all nice pic mmmmmmmm,,,,,yum yum
| ||||
|
You are certainly one beautiful, sexy, sensual and alluring woman!!!! Sure wish I lived closer would love to spend some quality time with such a beautiful woman!!!!!!!!!!!
| ||||
|
WOW your picture are amazing , you are a gorgeous woman.
| ||||
3/9/2017 3:13 pm |
Very Elegant!
| ||||
|
A well fucked pussy........
|
Become a member to create a blog
