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It's Been Building for a long time....
It's Been Building for a long time.... Actually, my wife (you did know I had one, right?) came home from the local drug store bitching about this "haired BITCH" who had the nerve to treat her like shit while she was in the store. Going to the store after her, I was curious to whom she had been so critical, so I approached her, more than a year ago, with a question. "Did someone give you a hard time a little while ago because you were reading a magazine and didn't see her standing to check out?" That is what I asked her. Then I said, "Well, that BITCH was my wife...just pay her no mind..she is crazy and hateful and mean." The look on her face was priceless. She responded in a very polite way and careful not to insult me or my wife, she simply said it was shocking to have someone be so critical of her and she was sorry for not being more attentive. I said to her, "No, really...she is hard to get along with on a good day and today is not a good day. You just received the kind of abusive speech I live with day in and day out!" A year later.....she has become a barber and it is with the other female barber where I have gotten my hair cut the last 6-7 years. At first, I always was seated at the barber's chair whose shop it was. Gradually, however, she allowed me to let "Hair" cut my hair. I liked her cut better to be honest. Gradually over time, I learned she was there on Mondays alone and so I started to get my hair cut there on Mondays. Like the other lady I paid $20 for the $15 hair cut. She always seemed appreciative. In time she opened up about her life some and the day came when she talked to me about her bf. It was just after Christmas and he had really spent the wad on her for Christmas, but then she told me, "He is such a baby...he has never kissed me or tried anything...I want a man in my life to experience. Gifts are sweet, but I want something more" Was that an open door? Not really. She wanted to talk about her experience with this guy she liked and dated, her bf not knowing. He did make a move on her and they made out some, but did not sleep together. "I am a good girl and still a virgin, but I really want to experience more. I wish my bf would grow up." "Maybe you should come on to him?" That day I was feeling pretty frisky and we talked about how if she had sex with her bf, she would get over him and move on to the guy she dated. Then she dropped the bomb. "I don't want to lose my bf...he is a great guy, just immature. The other guy has moved away and he is married to a girl I grew up with who I know is a real bad ass." Her speech was fluid and it was like she had all of this bottled up for a long time and just needed to talk. "I could never have anything with the married guy and I would not want to be a part of breaking up a marriage. I go to church and I am a Christian, Good Girl," she protested...."It was just a one time opportunity to make out with him, but I know he wanted me and I wanted him. I felt his, well, you know...I touched the area of his jeans that were bulging and I had never felt anything at all with my bf like that." Subsequent visits for hair cutting....more conversation...she is still a virgin...loves the beach...loves to dress evocative...loves it when men look at her in a bikini....enjoys a beer or two when she goes out...likes to dance....likes the attention she gets from other men.....bf still adores her, but has never done anything....and now....her guy that she made out with has separated from the bad ass wife and moved back and they have been talking. So this week, Monday, we are all alone at the barbershop and I am getting my hair cut and she asks me, "Can I ask you something?" "Sure," I say, "I would be more than happy to show you about sex, if that is what you want to know?" She turned red in the face. I could see her look away from me as I saw her in the double mirror. Then she walked around in front of the barber chair with her scissors and comb in her hands and said to me, "You think you are funny, don't you?" I laughed to cut the tension in the conversation and told her "No, just letting you know that you are an amazing, attractive girl who needs to just have some experiences and enjoy yourself." Then she looked very serious and told me..."Well, I'd be lying if I told you I had not thought about what it would be like to be with you...ever since you told me about taking that cruise with three other women...you have made me think about it." "But what I want to ask you is this...."she stammered a bit, looked away when she spoke these words like she was embarrassed...."Do you think I would go to Hell for sleeping with a married man?" "You mean me or the other guy you made out with?" I asked her. "Either one?" She looked intense, but then said more. "He is only separated, not divorced and the reason he left her is she told him she was pregnant, but not with his . And I told him that he would not have to worry about that with me....I am on the pill...and I know what you are thinking...you have been nothing but straight with me about your feelings for me and how bad your old lady treats you and how you play around with women." I interrupted her to say, "I didn't realize I ever led you to believe that I wanted to have sex with you?" "That's not what I need to know ....just listen to me....I want him..I want to experience a man who wants me as much as I want him, sexually. I want to know what it feels like, but I am afraid, because of my religious upbringing that if I have sex with him it will damage me and my relationship with Jesus....and there is something else...." she got real quiet, but walked back behind me to start resuming my haircut"...."What if I like having sex with him and he falls in love with me and I want him for real... and he wants me...what then?" As she settled back into cutting my hair, I spoke tenderly to her. "You know, I have no right to tell you what to do...or seriously, what is right for you to do. You have to make your own decision. No, I don't believe you would go to hell to have sexual intercourse with a man. But yes, it will complicate your thinking and your relationship with God." And then, getting my own interest back into the conversation, because I really am attracted to this young woman, I asked her, "How old are you?" "Twenty-six...and still a virgin....ain't that abnormal or something?" She was serious. "No," I responded, "It just means you have chosen a more excellent way than most your age in this area. "You are such a beautiful woman, but your biological time piece is clicking...tick...tock...and I admire you for knowing what you want." "But that's just it. I don't know what I want?" she said as if asking me to tell her. "May I speak plainly?" I was ready to make myself vulnerable to her. "You say you are on the pill....you want to have sex...you have even thought about having sex with an older man just for the experience..with someone who would teach you...when are you free for a "date?" I would love to be the one to show you some things and give you the experience you seek." At that point she got really quiet, shook the hair off the apron. Then she prepared me for shaving my neck with the razor....the lather felt warm on my neck...the razor was so sharp....and it was an awkward moment. But I managed to make the point. "Here I sit with you knowing I want you...you hold a razor sharp blade to my neck...I trust you to cut my hair...to shave my neck....you must trust me to be gentle and not hurt you. We communicate very well and I am not out to hurt you any more than you would seek to hurt me. You won't fall in love with me. You know my wife and my situation. That is all I can say. She finished her job without another word. When she turned me around to look into the mirror to see the cut, she spoke in a broken voice to me. "I am ready to fuck you, but I don't know what I am doing or how to go about it." "Please know this," and I called her by name as I stood up in front of her. "I don't want to fuck you. I don't want to fuck up your life. I am very much interested in making love with you in a private setting where you learn about sex and have a sexual experience. But you need to make sure of what you want and even if we make a date and you can't go through with anything sexual with me, I would accept that." "You are so sweet to me," she teared up as if to cry and I reached out massaged her shoulders and pulled her to me for a hug. "Take your time...think about it overnight...we will talk soon." And we exchanged . That was Monday...today is Friday....there has been no further communication. |
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