Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > > My Blog |
Member Deleted Post
|
Member Deleted Post This post has been deleted by |
|||
|
As any car dealer will tell you the hard sell is the best way to do a lot of volume - people don't like it but it works over time Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| ||
|
Yeah, they definitely do that. I would get really annoyed by men's erotica where they would imply that they can do just the very minimal of licking of fucking, and the woman just rolls from one orgasm into another. Uh? When does that ever happen? As for the squirting thing, it is definitely learnable - and the reactions that it gets from men is so much fun, that I would definitely recommend giving it a try. I didn't do it "naturally" and after research and talking to tons of men and women here over the years, I could experiment and it would happen on occasion. Now, I'm 100% sure how it works for me and it occurs every session with the right stimulation.
| ||
|
LOVE this post! I am always concerned that I will disappoint by - well, it is difficult for me to orgasm with a new partner. When men say that stuff to me it makes me feel like I am under pressure and then it isn't likely EVER gonna happen. Stuff like that is why women fake it. 2022... it HAS be better, right?!
| ||
|
I think the best way to respond to that is to say "Sure, and then we will . . .", and pile on some even more extravagant fantasies. You let him know that you know he is full of it, while keeping the mood light-hearted.
| ||
|
a guy that knows how to please a woman doesn't even discuss the matter . . . you are dealing with the wrong kinda dudes . . . Yes, these men are likely to be in need of some sex education. And I would say ignore them if we were talking about first approaches. But IntendaDiversion indicated she had in mind men whom she felt had potential. I wouldn't suggest dropping them just because of this. The key is to gently disabuse them of the macho assumption that males should emerge from the womb knowing everything about sex, and that females have that expectation. Let them know you don't think less of them for having things still to learn. In the e-mail stage, I would suggest telling them that before getting physical there will need to be an honest conversation about expectations, it will need to be in person, and you aren't comfortable with discussing it in e-mails. If they won't respect your clearly expressed preference, then it's time to drop them.
| ||
|
Regarding the "why", I think it's about a macho subculture that imagines sex as essentially a competition between men. In a competition, things are supposed to be designed to give every competitor an equal shot. Every runner starts on a mark that will have him run the same distance as the others. Goal posts are all same height. The assumption is that women's bodies are similarly all the same, so that any difference in sexual response reflects the male's prowess. They don't understand that they are pressuring you. They think they are just bragging on themselves. They don't expect these things to happen, or care. They just hope you'll buy into it enough for them to score. It sounds awful, but these aren't (necessarily) bad guys. They've just been under bad influences and have some things to learn.
| ||
|
"I never email a man and tell him I cannot wait for him to fuck me for an hour straight ,or cum five times, or do oral for an hour, or hope his cock is huge, etc. I let it all unfold as it happens. Whatever penis size comes out of his pants, however long it takes for him to cum, how every many times he can get it up, etc. is just what it is and I don’t set up expectations ahead of time. " I like what you have written and you're being honest and true to who you are and what you are capable of. Dont feel pressured. At the end of the day, it is the man offering you who will have to prove he can really DELIVER the service he is offering. Some are just full of words but are only loud as an empty can, bragging their prowess. They have to be TESTED to be PROVEN! 
| ||
|
Amen!!! Great post, and I fully agree.
| ||
|
Good conversation and a good cuddle the rest will take care of itself. Able202
| ||
|
Sometimes I feel sorry for men, they worry so much about if the woman they are with has an orgasm they can't focus on enjoying themselves. Maybe it's porn (and as someone else mentioned media) putting the pressure on them with articles giving them the idea that women are all multi-orgasmic and as a man they should be able to make it happen. I can't even begin to count how many men's profiles say they are more interested in making their partners orgasm than their own. They think that's what we want to hear. Sure I want a man to make me feel good....will not object to foreplay, fondling, oral sex, etc., but there are times, it's just not happening for me for various reasons. I may lend a helping hand or just enjoy it for what it is. It's not unchivalrous to cum when you are ready, as long as you've made a concerted effort for your partner to do the same.
| ||
|
I like the sitting together...talking...cuddling,,,taking things slow and if it progresses, I know it's right. Pressure is the last thing I want anyone to feel...including myself!
| ||
|
OK. Women, I can't wait to meet you, talk to you, connect, touch your body, kiss you, ignite some passion and see where it goes. I follow good thoughtful instruction well  Great post, pity the men who need to read this the most, won't. Find pleasure in giving pleasure
| ||
|
Men should not, when an orgasm happens, stand up, raise their two hands and scream, "Gooooaaaaaal!" This was a gag on the TV sitcom "Friends". Monica was talking about her exes, and she called one of them "the 'I win' guy." She said that when he climaxed, he would cry out "I win! I win!" She added that while they were together, "I didn't get to win once."
| ||
7/7/2014 12:37 am |
You are what you are and damned if anyone should make you feel less for that. What is teh saying its not getting to the destination its the journey. Sex is that its all about how much you enjoy what is happening and not the cumming, I got a new one today, never had any form of communication and he sends I love you Oh wow I should rush to him  An orgasm a day , makes you so much happier at work and play
| ||
|
Such pressure, as you perceptively describe, is always counter-productive. Sex without pressure is the only way.
| ||
|
Up until now, I've heard of squirting as a rare talent prized by some porn producers. So, lil_whimsical, and any other ladies who have experienced it, does it feel better? A lot better?
| ||
|
Interesting... women have told me off for not "selling" myself in my profile and here you are complaining about men who try to sell themselves too hard The fact of the matter is that the site is very competitive - men are contending against at least twenty other men all vying for the attention of the same woman. It's a sex site, so you're "selling" satisfaction. How do you judge satisfaction? Orgasms. And it's an arms race - if one man says he will go down on you "for hours" then every other man must too otherwise he'll be left out. Though I believe that if you know what you're doing it won't take hours Women do the same - "I give the best BJs" is a very common line in women's profiles. Now I'd say that anyone who measures satisfaction purely by orgasm is missing out on the more sensuous possibilities, but there are plenty of people (men and women) who don't think beyond "You came, you enjoyed it" 
| ||
|
Yeah, they definitely do that. I would get really annoyed by men's erotica where they would imply that they can do just the very minimal of licking of fucking, and the woman just rolls from one orgasm into another. Uh? When does that ever happen? As for the squirting thing, it is definitely learnable - and the reactions that it gets from men is so much fun, that I would definitely recommend giving it a try. I didn't do it "naturally" and after research and talking to tons of men and women here over the years, I could experiment and it would happen on occasion. Now, I'm 100% sure how it works for me and it occurs every session with the right stimulation. "I do this, you cum. I do that, you cum. I turn you over and do this and you cum harder than you've ever cum before" I know what sex is like from the male perspective, I'm curious about the aspect of sex I'll never experience - the woman's experience. Which is why I like the blogs
| ||
|
Because most females here suffer from short attention span! So we have to throw ALL THE GRENADES in one bag and throw the In her direction. all for her then complain she has too many emails to read... So she just DELETES Them and asks "Wheres the real men? " Smh ~Linc was here.~
| ||
|
I agree it is best to enjoy each other's company and then let things unfold naturally.
| ||
|
Sometimes I like to talk about what's going to happen. I might say softly in her ear: "I think I want to brush my fingertips gently across your skin. But I just can't decide where. Maybe your neck? Or maybe your shoulder? Or your shoulder blade, along the ridge and over the tip . . . ?"
| ||
|
your posts....brings Queen's song..."Under Pressure" to mind! “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64 
| ||
|
FINE! I take it all back lol!
| ||
|
Agree take every experience and enjoy it. Borntobeefree72?* Know what you want, ask for it! The pleasure is worth it.
| ||
|
Every woman is different. I will tell a woman that I will stay with it as long as she wants trying to help her cum as often as she can or wants, but no one is so good that they have magical dicks or tongues. The most orgasmic women in the world have bad nights or just don't want to cum that much that night. All I can promise is that I want to help you to the best orgasm you can have, and with luck maybe it will be different, but that depends on the spark and the moment as much as skill. You are a woman, not a performing seal, I want you to enjoy being with me the most you can, not teach you to spin plates on your nose. "I will make you cum and cum and ..." Think he might have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell too?  Lust brings you together, love keeps you there, sex keeps the mechanism lubricated. 
| ||
|
@kinkyfem73 Thanks for sharing.
| ||
|
The whole idea is to have fun and enjoy, not be in a competition. This also goes hand in hand with your post about not wanting to get together again. Expectations may be too high. Oh well, their loss, as I just like the whole process and having fun.
| ||
|
fuck yeah
| ||
|
Your title is "Why do some guys put so much pressure on us" and now you say you want touching, foreplay, intercourse, cuddle, passion and friendship  Talk about pressure!
| ||
|
Sometimes I feel sorry for men, they worry so much about if the woman they are with has an orgasm they can't focus on enjoying themselves. Maybe it's porn (and as someone else mentioned media) putting the pressure on them with articles giving them the idea that women are all multi-orgasmic and as a man they should be able to make it happen. I can't even begin to count how many men's profiles say they are more interested in making their partners orgasm than their own. They think that's what we want to hear. Sure I want a man to make me feel good....will not object to foreplay, fondling, oral sex, etc., but there are times, it's just not happening for me for various reasons. I may lend a helping hand or just enjoy it for what it is. It's not unchivalrous to cum when you are ready, as long as you've made a concerted effort for your partner to do the same.
| ||
7/12/2014 8:57 am |
Women do the same thing... like "I'm gonna suck your brains out through your dick," and the like. I just find it all amusing when they can't follow through.
| ||
|
Realistically, how often is sex "perfect", except in memory or fantasy? So, when it is promised, why do we believe it? We don't. It's a sales pitch, and a lame one. But we live in that kind of world now, where you gotta make the sale in the first 30 seconds or lose. And people buy into it. Your last sentence:"Men, how about tell the woman you cannot wait to get her into bed, to touch bodies, to enjoy each other, etc and leave the specifics out of it because I don’t want to hear what you have pictured will happen between us as I know I will not measure up." speaks volumes. We are constantly counseled on selling ourselves- in job interviews, when meeting people, in dating and there are countless posts on how to write a profile, how to approach the opposite sex ad nauseum. Humans are social animals and crave contact and AFFECTION. When Camus wrote that "Hell is other people" he was expressing alienation, and it is alienation that is hell. These responses that people complain about are a sad reflection of the state of the human condition. We have so much trouble relating to other people, let alone male to female communication. There are too many of us, and we have created a world where one can be completely alone in a city of ten million. Hold someone's hand for Christ's sake, give some poor so-of-a-bitch a hug. And ignore all of that 'sell yourself' horseshit. This is not gender specific- we are all emotionally bereft, in some degree. When making promises, promise compassion, and understanding. If that isn't selling you, nothing is. And somebody will probably spit on you for it. I'll crawl back into my corner again. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||
|
Yes- not always, for sure. But this is what we have come to. We hesitate to trust one another, because we don't recognize one another. We are wary of trust. Recall that I stated 'this is not gender specific'. I am not pointing a finger at one sex. This wariness is not unjustified, either. Western civilization may not have come to a dead end, but American culture is perilously close. I think that the exaltation of the profit motive, of the 'it's a jungle out there', every man for himself mantra has left us as a people spiritually bankrupt. Human beings did not always live this way, and were not designed to live like this. The existence of websites promising to connect us with one another, like this one, is a positive thing, viewed from the right perspective. It affirms our need for one another. We need to learn how to do that. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||
7/13/2014 6:13 am |
intendadiversion replies on 7/12/2014 11:57 pm: LOL...I need to use that line.. "I'm gonna suck your brains out through your dick" I like it, but is that technically another insinuation that this is where your brain is located? I don't know if that was her intention... I never even took that into consideration when she said it! Lol
| ||
|
As a man I have been told ive been blessed but that doesn't matter when it comes to pleasing a woman all the time.I have had 2 back surgeries and my sexual apatite changes night to night depending on how my back is. If im all pinched up and cant totally rise to the occasion then she will get a night of oral and toys, other nights I might stay hard forever and never get off,other nights the minute man lasts longer than I do BUT the important thing is that everyone should be happy in the situation and remember that make up sex isn't just for fights. You don't have to brag about your package because that's probably not what got her talking to you in the first place. NOW shut up guys,let her come to her own conclusion. Its better to let her wonder if your going to work out as an asshole than open your mouth right off the bat and prove it. Great post by the way.A lot of my buddys think that's the way to get a girl or they send em a dick pic right off the bat when they first txt each other. That's normally a quick break check too.
| ||
|
Sex texting is so popular today I think it's created a feeling of I need to impress. I have a guy I sextext with and we do it on a regular basis. We will come up with a million different things we will do when having sex from the amount of times, sultry, seductive and even dirty. Do we do it all? Nah, we could chalk it up to being too busy, too tired or just not feeling at our best but the truth is sex talk is just that, talk. Does he talk about being rough sure but there isn't something he's going to do that makes me so uncomfortable or annoyed that I don't want to continue or play again and while I put out a dare or a fantasy I'm not looking to follow a script. Take the talk for what it is, something to turn the biggest body part on, the brain. It should be fun and get you excited but is that really what's going to happen? Nooo, enjoy the sex talk as much or as little as you want, take it and fit it into actual play but don't think you're going to get or you NEED to measure up to it. It doesn't have to be a must take place, just like a sexy romance novel or Penthouse story, they turn you on but it's never like that! A porn video is the same thing, it adds to the fun but I doubt that's going to happen in real life either, there's no edit button lmao
| ||
|
Bravo! Thank you, I know exactly what you are saying. Too many guys seem to get their ideas about sex and women's reactions from porno films. XXX
| ||
|
Two reasons. 1 - They are selfish. 2 - They think that's what you want to hear. Many men are completely devoid of understanding that the difference between a man and a woman are far greater than what's between a person's legs. They think that if that's the sort of thing that THEY would like to hear from a woman, then that's the sort of thing that a woman wants to hear from them. They couldn't be more wrong.
| ||
|
No pressure no pleasure? No guarantees of cumming. No assurance of chemistry. Not a hint if you will enjoy it. Not a chance you may have climax at all. But what I can guarantee is when you come, you come and if you don't, you don't. Good enough? Fun and Pleasure in Sunny Side Singapore. Come visit my blog and let's chat and explore.
| ||
|
Ms I... I agree with you in all that you've stated. But as I've read through countless female profiles I keep seeing statements about wanting "totally, awesome, mind blowing sex," hours of toe-curling sex," ...etc.. I find those remarks place a great pressure on men perusing potential partners.
| ||
|
Some guys are just full of themselves probably because girls they were with have been faking it for years
| ||
|
It's not pressure, it's called D.A.S=Dumb Ass Syndrome, it comes from ladies as well when they don't know what to really say.
| ||
|
Great post !! I feel that these kinds of men are only insecure if they have to try to tell you what they are going to do.... to you.... if they said nothing and then devoured your body and did things to it that were magical then alright!! But stating it before is not a good sign.... Thanks for sharing.
| ||
|
well i was told that some women where to shy to skirt on their own . so as a gentlemen that want to see the women have some fun to . you kinda feel the need to tell the women she can skirt when she want to . not to put any pressure on , but just to allow the women to have an orgasm of her own . so that both partner can have fun while having sex . but i agree , asking for it to much , man to women or women to men can be turn off . you need to be free to cum on your own free will .
| ||
|
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that, if we go by the messages in the media, women are obsessed with having orgasms. One of the central themes of Sex and the City, for example, was women in a constant search for a man who could make them come the right way. Look at the covers of women's magazines at the grocery store checkout counter and you will see headlines like "Take Your Sex Life to the Next Level!" and "The Best Sex Life Ever!" I agree it's all silly, but you have to understand that men are bombarded with these messages just as women are.
| ||
|
Most men are trying to feed their own ego's by telling you that. I will tell a woman I think she is sexy, tell her I will try my best to get her off, but promise nothing except the fact I will do my best.
| ||
|
I can make you s.........mile All the cool people visit my blog
| ||
|
This is a great post. And I love the response comments, too. Lots of insightful stuff, and some funny as hell stuff. Really, this blog says something about some of us men being chest pounding gorillas. Sad to miss the adventure of getting to know a woman as a unique, singular individual. Everyone is original and different, both men and women. None of us have the same needs, thoughts, sense of humor, sensitivities, or focus. The joy of finding someone who gets you and likes you as you do them, has no chance with the automatic gorillas. Sorry guys, I said it. I couldn't imagine promising a potential lover what I was going to make her feel. That is up to her. Finding someone you can share life with, whether it is forever, or for awhile because we aren't quite right for each other. Maybe that is the on going search we all have here. Finding a fit with another person, not just body parts with operating instructions. But someone who fits us mentally, physically and spiritually. Good luck to all in the search.
| ||
|
Another factor is that guys who were shy growing up saw all the attractive girls go out with brash, loud, obnoxious jerks. So some of those guys as adults think that is the way to be if you want to get with a woman.
| ||
|
Good post. But for me, I never pushed that hard.
|
Become a member to create a blog
