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The Undersexed Husband
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The Undersexed Husband I have a feeling this one may stir up some resistance, but please try to read with an open mind. Quite often, I hear men complain that the reason they're on the site is because they don't get enough sex from their wife. Quite often they claim to love their wife, don't wish to change their life, but have unmet needs. I get that...but I think most of those wives would say the same thing but their list of needs is several items long, including sex! I recognize that there is a very wide range of sex drives. My first thought when I hear this from a man who is spending hours each day online is "what if he put that time into his relationship with his wife?" As women, we're wired to be givers/nurturers and often have a difficult time asking for what we want/need sexually (as well as emotionally). Compound that with the messages that good girls don't have sex except under certain conditions, that you must be slutty if you do certain things...and boy does religion create a lot of sexual issues. I believe that the vast majority of women have never truly had GREAT sex! I can honestly say that if I had it to do over, I would pass on 90% of the partners I've had sex with. Partly because, as women, we haven't communicated (or likely even KNOW) what we really like/need. Compound that with men's tendencies go with whatever they've been complimented on in the past, not recognizing that each woman is different...and a woman's body will respond differently from one time to the next. And guess what, guys! WE LIE! If we talk in generalities or you had to fish for compliments, it's probably just us "taking care of" your ego. If she can give specifics, it's more likely to be genuine. Throw in our emotional/mental needs and wow...no wonder you guys have a hard time figuring us out! I find it interesting that many men claim to have a high sex drive but I find they're done before I'm even warmed up. "I want a bj or 10-15 mins of sex each day" does NOT equate " high sex drive". Might as well add that to my list between paying bills and washing dishes! I wonder how many men would want sex daily if their partner agreed on the condition that each session would last 2-3 hours, with multiple erections and a great deal of seduction, emotional intimacy, indirect and direct stimulation, several positions, etc. What if, instead of flirting with a woman you'll probably never meet, your flirted with your wife? What if, instead of meeting another woman for a clandestine lunch, you "dated" your wife? I like to think of it as a sexual savings account. Make regular deposits (without linking them directly to sex) and over time, you'll have the "Funds" saved up for what you want. And instead of finding out what turns other women on, why not find out what turns your woman on? She may not know...exploring is half the fun. It may take time and a great deal of patience to get her to let her naughty side be discovered....and a LOT of trust and feeling "safe". And just because I'm directing this at men, doesn't mean women are off the hook. I just don't talk to women much...and there are fewer on the site. I don't believe women love sex less than men...I just believe women want GOOD sex and most men feel any sex is good. Ok, putting on my armor now....let me have it! |
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there is a problem with your argument and the argument men make...when you make generic statements about the sexes there are always exceptions. I have met plenty of woman who don't like sex and I have met plenty of woman who love sex. I think it is person based symptom.....some men want sex daily, their 10 minutes of fun, while other men want to please their woman and do lots of foreplay. Some woman don't want sex, they only do their obligated time 1x a month or less, while other woman want their orgasms daily! HotMatch.com is a site marketed to men as a "sex" site- it tells men they can have sex immediately! Thus, lots of young men think this is going to happen! Great post! “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64 
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"I wonder how many men would want sex daily if their partner agreed on the condition that each session would last 2-3 hours, with multiple erections and a great deal of seduction, emotional intimacy, indirect and direct stimulation, several positions, etc." THIS is why, after six months or so of dating, hubby said to me "I'm really glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where we don't HAVE to have sex every time we're together." He was exhausted! I wore him out trying to teach him how I like my sex! Great post btw!
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A great Blog. I used to be like that and changed to devote my whole attention to partner
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