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>>> Tom foolery and fun
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Born with Bullets A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital where she was fixed up. As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor says, "Oh! You're going to have triplets. They're fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don't worry though the bullets will pass through their system through normal metabolism." As time goes on the woman has three children, two girls and a boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother and says "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing!" Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies, "I passed a bullet into the toilet." The woman comforts her and explains all about the accident at the bank. A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with tears streaming from her eyes. "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing!" The mother says, "Let me guess. You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?" The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says, "Yes, how did you know?" The mother comforts her child and explains about the incident at the bank. A month later the boy comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing!" "You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?" "No, I was masturbating and I shot the dog."
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Almost Halloween coming up hugsssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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HiYa Pal
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The first word I see is - Joy. Cheers! A única alegria isenta de amargura é a de bem proceder.
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Almost Halloween coming up hugsssssssssss V [image]
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HiYa Pal [image]
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The first word I see is - Joy. Cheers!
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Another joke that is cute The Washcloth This little boy walked in on his mom in the bathroom and noticed the hair on her private area. The little boy asked, "Mommy, what is that?" She replied, "this is my washcloth." The little boy went on his way. One evening the woman and her husband were beginning to make love and he asked her to do something different and shave her hair off. She agreed. A week or so after that the little boy had walked in on his mother again but this time she didn't have any hair. So the little boy asked with concern, "Mommy, what happen to your washcloth?" She replied, "I lost it." Later that day the little boy came running up to his mom and said, "Mommy, I found your washcloth." She replied confused, "Where did you find it?" He told her that the lady next door was washing Daddy's face with it
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Another joke that is cute The Washcloth This little boy walked in on his mom in the bathroom and noticed the hair on her private area. The little boy asked, "Mommy, what is that?" She replied, "this is my washcloth." The little boy went on his way. One evening the woman and her husband were beginning to make love and he asked her to do something different and shave her hair off. She agreed. A week or so after that the little boy had walked in on his mother again but this time she didn't have any hair. So the little boy asked with concern, "Mommy, what happen to your washcloth?" She replied, "I lost it." Later that day the little boy came running up to his mom and said, "Mommy, I found your washcloth." She replied confused, "Where did you find it?" He told her that the lady next door was washing Daddy's face with it Why Men Stand and Pee Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing", God told the couple, "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very ability." Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability, It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..." On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability. And so Adam was given the ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. "Fine," God said looking back into his bag of leftovers, "What's left here? Oh yes, 'multiple orgasms' . . ."
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Why Men Stand and Pee Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing", God told the couple, "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very ability." Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability, It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..." On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability. And so Adam was given the ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. "Fine," God said looking back into his bag of leftovers, "What's left here? Oh yes, 'multiple orgasms' . . ."
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Forgot about Halloween, how about these? Halloween Jokes Q: What do ghosts eat for supper? A: Spooketi Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it’s Halloween!! Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? A: Spelling. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school? A: His heart wasn’t in it. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn’t have any guts! Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
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a great morning laugh HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: 1. Compliment her, 2. cuddle her, 3. kiss her, 4. caress her, 5. love her, 6. stroke her, 7. tease her, 8. Comfort her, 9. protect her, 10. hug her, 11. hold her, 12. spend money on her, 13. wine & dine her, 14. buy things for her, 15. listen to her, 16. care for her, 17. stand by her, 18. support her, 19. go to the ends of the earth for her.... HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: 1.Show up naked. a). Bring beer.
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Happy Halloween Pal .. hugsssssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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a great morning laugh HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: 1. Compliment her, 2. cuddle her, 3. kiss her, 4. caress her, 5. love her, 6. stroke her, 7. tease her, 8. Comfort her, 9. protect her, 10. hug her, 11. hold her, 12. spend money on her, 13. wine & dine her, 14. buy things for her, 15. listen to her, 16. care for her, 17. stand by her, 18. support her, 19. go to the ends of the earth for her.... HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: 1.Show up naked. a). Bring beer. [image]
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Happy Halloween Pal .. hugsssssssssssss V [image]
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[image]
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Happy Sunday.. Did you remember to change your clocks back last night? hugssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Here is a clock change funny Twice a year, we change the clocks for daylight-savings time. And twice a year, my normally punctual blonde assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why. "Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?" I asked. "Oh, no, " she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change all my clocks."
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Happy Sunday.. Did you remember to change your clocks back last night? hugssssss V [image]
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Here is a clock change funny Twice a year, we change the clocks for daylight-savings time. And twice a year, my normally punctual blonde assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why. "Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?" I asked. "Oh, no, " she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change all my clocks." [image]
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Some cum jokes The husband says to wife: "My Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear gold tonight." The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change ........ I was speaking to Emile Heskey's wife the other day "Wow you have a really beautiful face, your skin is perfect" I said "Thank you" she replied with a smile "how do you keep your face looking so young?"I asked "Emile likes to cum on my tits after sex" she replied
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here is another one Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Some cum jokes The husband says to wife: "My Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear gold tonight." The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change ........ I was speaking to Emile Heskey's wife the other day "Wow you have a really beautiful face, your skin is perfect" I said "Thank you" she replied with a smile "how do you keep your face looking so young?"I asked "Emile likes to cum on my tits after sex" she replied [image]
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here is another one [image]
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