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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
And You Give Yourself Away
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And You Give Yourself Away Sorry for my morbid and negative posts from Friday, Dear Readers. I'm an open book and not all chapters come with a comic strip and light pornographic overtones. But you're in it for the long haul I guess, since none of you appeared to jump ship (which is much appreciated). It was a rough couple of days, no doubt about it. And on top of all the crap you already read about, I also ended up hearing from a dude I had written off last year. His behavior during our last encounter (a Blogger meet and greet) was totally inappropriate and I was DONE trying to get him to toe the friendship line. Now he's back and it's really bad timing on his part- I'm emphatically NOT in the mood to play politely. But on the upside, it would also seem that my plot to disallow comments on some blogs is having the intended effect- I'm slowly but surely losing rank on the list of watched blogs! Pretty soon the only people who will be able to find me will be the card-carrying members of the Holding Cell, and y'all don't insult me (to my face), so I'm pretty happy about that  . Unfortunately, it also seems that I need to change my profile picture again- this one has been prompting copious offers for bouts of anal sex. Back to the eyeball pic- unless anyone has a better suggestion?But while I have your attention for a moment, I do have a serious question to pose. Have you ever asked a question you didn't want to hear the answer to? I actively try to avoid such a practice as it never seems to work in my favor. But this weekend, Hubby asked me if I was mad at him and I found myself weighing my answer very carefully because I wasn't sure he really wanted the truth. He can read me like the open book I am, though. So he knew the answer just by looking at my face. He probed further and I unleashed the hounds of hell...bet he's sorry he ever asked. It wasn't a fight- we don't fight, we negotiate. And while he claimed to understand my position and he took full responsibility, it isn't going to solve the issue at hand. But all that aside, I want to know if you ever find yourself doing this- asking a question you already know the answer to, or a question you really don't want the answer to. If so, what's your motivation? Has it ever backfired in a GOOD way, I.e., you received an answer you weren't expecting? And to go one step further, are any of you as easy to read as I am? Is that a bad thing? How in the hell can it ever be a GOOD thing? ****** When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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2/15/2012 8:13 pm |
Being easy to read can be a good thing... in that it tends to not let you get away with letting things fester. Regardless of the answers to the questions we'd rather not always ask, dealing with issues and solving problems is the healthier way in the long run. "I reject your version of reality & substitute my own"  Offended Yet? Sign Here: [post 2929227] I mean seriously, DO IT!! Have you ever tried Sloggin' it? Blogger Slogger The best of some of the Canucks I love: [blog CanadaWeek]
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less popular. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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to be Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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and aspirations Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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your plans Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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can defeat Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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doing this Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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I think Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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Also, Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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I'm sorry for the rough patch you're going through honey. If you need an ear I'm always around. As for your questions I am very good at not showing my true feelings unless I want them known but for the most part I'm not bothered to hide them. I'm a very good actor but it isn't an easy thing for me to do in real life. For example; my daughter's bday & party was the day after I found out we'd lost the baby but I refused to spoil her special time. Anyone who didn't know me and what was going on would have thought it was a great celebration and Lil Bit had no clue until I told her the next week. My Viking knows what's going on no matter what I do to hide it and never lets me run from how I'm feeling. I read him like an open book as well although I don't think it's as easy for me as it is for him. He swears I have super powers that make it impossible for him to lie to me..lmao...As for those pesky questions we know the answers to or don't want to hear the answers to I am a firm believer in asking and finding out for sure. I'd always rather know the truth than wonder or speculate. Sometimes I've been surprised in a good way when I expected a bad answer and got a good one. My Viking is a prime example of this. During our courtship I was sure I was not the woman he wanted or needed long term and that he would walk away in Dec. When I finally got the nerve to ask the hard questions I was flabbergasted that he was madly in love with me, thought I was the perfect woman and looking for a way to make our lives work together forever. Most of my life those questions have just been confirmed heartaches and hard truths to swallow but even then I'd rather have the truth and deal with reality than live in a lie. Kisses, LeeAnn Kisses, LA   
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It's been my experience that those sorts of questions are destined to bring trouble. However, I suspect we always know the answer, so NOT asking will not address and solve the issue, either. SO, the question is, really, push the issue down and wait until it explodes in a meltdown the likes of which the Old Testament speak of, or push it up front so you have a chance of handling it. You should have fights with the hubby. That leads to make up sex. Everybody knows this. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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And now, because I always come up with responses after I hit send, round two! One last thing on asking a question you know the answer to, Kipling said it first, "Them that ask no questions isn't told a lie." (A Smugglers Song). I can be very hard to read if I try, usually I don't try. Having emotions is part of being human and sharing them, for better or worse is part of that too. Maybe that is being simple, but if I look mad, chances are I'm mad. Of course my standard expession has been called intimidating, which is just how my face settles. It's a little like having the mark of Cain. No one wants to really mess with you, but no one wants to be close to you either. All right, I guess you get four cents today! Take it easy, guns are cold.Take it easy, guns are cold. 
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I tend to bite my tongue and generally won't ask a question if I allready know the answer.
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If I know the answer I don't ask the question. And if I don't want to hear the answer then I likely know the answer already. That doesn't mean I wont bring it up and talk about it to try and fix whatever the issue is. Or at least talk about it. But I don't play dumb and ask. I like to think I'm fairly easy to read. But then who knows. Guess you would have to find someone that deals with me on a daily basis to ask if I'm as easy to read as you are. But it isn't a bad thing all the time. in fact it can mean things are addressed sooner if something is bothering you. Where with some people they might be left to fester for weeks, months or even years longer.
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I've asked questions I thought I knew the answer to just to confirm them. Oddly enough, there's only about a 50-50 chance what I think is the answer is actually right. Sometimes I'm just not as smart as I think I am! I've also gotten answers to questions that started with a variation on the song lyric, "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's what I'm going to say". A lot of times it's dang tough to hear, but it's the truth and it's real and down the road of avoiding reality lies madness. Also, what does not kill us makes us stranger! That is how that goes right? Well that's my two cents worth, guns are cold.Take it easy, guns are cold.
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Have I ever asked a question that I did not want to know the answer to? I believe I have at least once in my life. I remember more of me being afraid of the answer than not wanting to know it. Plenty of those asked throughout the years. Am I an easy read? I am if one knows the language. I do wear my emotions like it was the latest fashions. It can be quite easy for someone to see what is going on with me if they know what to look for. Otherwise, I'm pretty safe. "For a woman there is nothing more erotic than being understood." ~ Molly Haskell Read about Me Being Naughty o-o
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People who don't know me will be none the wiser, but se second I walk through the door, hubby knows - exactly! Good or bad? Dunno, but guess down in my heart (wont admit it to hubby!), I like it that someone cares enough to know me - inside out.... And yes, I ask, even if I know the answer, because the air will not be cleared till we have talked about it and I cannot sleep till the air is cleared (either through a fight - very seldom - or negotiation - normally). But as you said in your previous post... life can be much shorter than we think, and if I really love my partner, it must be "right" between us, cause there might not be a tomorrow to fix it... Good luck my friend - hope things turn around - just show him clips of hermaphrodites!  - you'll only understand if you have read my (2nd)last post?Something interesting in my life: A surprise on my naked body this morning Come visit my blog to know what I get up to from time to time: [blog 4jasmine2]
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Most folks have said they ask to be sure -- I'm pretty sure already before I ask; so with me; it's the ripping the band-aid off to expose the wound and get the work of healing it. You have to communicate to fix what ails you and the first step in that process is to admit you have an ailment. I hope hubby dear get back in your good graces soon -- while I don't have a firm mental grasp on your relationship, I've smiled quite a bit at the peeks you've given into it. Now, will you have copious amounts of anal sex with me? 
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Unless you ask you never know for sure. This is not meant to offend any one in any way.     
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I did that once when I was younger and much more naive. I was met with awkward silence and, "well I'm not sure but if I were to be in love with anyone I think it would be you". Ooof. So um, yeah, I don't do that anymore. I can slap the best face on any situation *as long as you don't know me well*. If you know me my big brow eyes apparently give everything away. Needless to say, I don't play much poker. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing except that it pretty much forces you to be honest about stuff so I guess that's a good thing. Right?
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Yes I've asked the questions where I didnt want to know the answer or where I already knew the answer but just needed to hear it from them, to have it confirmed, to move on and deal with it. I am usually not an easy person to read. I play my cards close to my chest as the saying goes. Something that was taught to me by my father from a young age, you dont reveal everything. Its still very hard to deal with that type of mentality, to let it go. I can honestly say there is only 1 person, my lover, who can read me and it really freaks me out at times. He'll ask me something and I gape at him and ask how did you know? Perhaps because this has been the most honest and open relationship I have ever had.
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2/12/2012 8:14 pm |
To answer your questions: yes, yes and yes. I'm masochistic sometimes. But even if I don't like the answer, it is better than not knowing the truth. That bugs me more than knowing and being hurt about it for a little while. I guess that'd be my motivation - getting to know the truth, even if it's hurtful. Also, Puppy reads me like a book. He sometimes knows what I'm thinking way before I even say it. I told him if he ever became a psychologist, it'd be scary because then he'd be trained to know how to get into people's heads, especially mine. Right now he's already so good at it and that's without training. Swimmy & Puppy Big News Milestone Windows to the Soul Coitus Interruptus Finding Love Here Yes, it39s possible ~Diving into the Mind~
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2/12/2012 8:08 pm |
If I know the answer I'm not going to ask the question. I don't need their confirmation to deal with the issue. I'm a quiet guy normally so I suppose people would say I'm hard to read. Unless I'm close to you, then I am an open Nook.
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According to my spouse, I may actually be even easier to read than you are. Can't lie worth a damn, can't hide my feelings - man, that sucks from time to time! Yeah, I have asked questions I damn well knew the answer to - but I did it typically to hear her have to say it. It's one thing to have a suspicion; it's totally to different to admit it to yourself; but to get her to own up to it, well, sometimes it's where I have to start. Has it ever been good? No, but that's usually because the fecal material had already hit the bladed cooling device. But, for me, it is usually a place where I can start to work past it. I hope it works out for you, Gotta. Work for what's important to you, ok?
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I ask questions. Sometimes I truly DON'T wish to know the answer, but damnit.. if I don't I drive myself crazy with the "whatif's" I ask and deal with the answer mostly to put myself out of my misery. Otherwise my mind wont shut off at night. I am NOT a nice person following a sleepless night. And, as my mother once told me "Everything you are feeling and thinking shows on your face... don't ever play poker." "You've seen my descent, Now watch my rising!" - Rumi Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are forged from it - Michele K.
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