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Blogs > thegrlsnme > Thoughts from a late bloomer

I need some sound advice on this  

thegrlsnme 67F
2769 posts
8/20/2016 10:45 am
I need some sound advice on this

Good afternoon, I hope this finds you with that secret smile on your face.

I really could use some input here.

I have had an attached man, talking to me. One of the reasons for my interest, is that he travels extensively, and I would have the opportunity to see several places I have not.

He wants to fly me to his town for a meet n greet. Then go from there.

But, there is always a but.

We communicate on here. We have talked once on the phone, it was a land line.

He wants me to make all the arrangements for our meeting and he will send the money, through the mail.

I told him, I realize he is protecting himself, but it looks sketchy from my end.

He could be legitimate, but there is basically no trail, if he is not.

I explained my thoughts to him, we will see what he says.

I have had men fly me to them, but they make all the arrangements, and I have access to them by cell and on here.

There is time for him to send the money, and I can make the arrangements, but as time nears, prices change as well.

What would you do, or have you done, or what would you advise.

Have a great day.
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
spankandsquirt20 45F
10597 posts
8/20/2016 11:48 am

 Sounds a little fishy. Are you travelling to meet him? Sounds like. Lot of red flags to me. maybe try to at least have him FaceTime or video chat with you, so that you can see that he is who he claims to be. Just opulent want you to get hurt.


wjb1958 65M
3739 posts
8/20/2016 11:52 am

 To many RED FLAGS


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 12:10 pm
    Quoting mcmaniac:
    Dang girl, be careful. I don't wanna see your story on Forensic Files.
I will admit, I have done some stupid things when I first started on line dating. That's what I was thinking too, too many red flags......thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 12:11 pm
    Quoting spankandsquirt20:
    Sounds a little fishy. Are you travelling to meet him? Sounds like. Lot of red flags to me. maybe try to at least have him FaceTime or video chat with you, so that you can see that he is who he claims to be. Just opulent want you to get hurt.
Yes traveling to meet him, and he wanted me to make all the arrangements.....thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 12:14 pm

 That's the reason for this post. I was seeing to many red flags myself..?...thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


northshoretake2 50M  
1626 posts
8/20/2016 12:18 pm

 I think you need to tell him you're uncomfortable with this plan and ask him to come up with an alternative--one where he pays for everything.

And make sure you say, "At least for this first trip." That way you sound reasonable.

And then let him figure it out. Don't do anything else.
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 12:40 pm
    Quoting northshoretake2:
    I think you need to tell him you're uncomfortable with this plan and ask him to come up with an alternative--one where he pays for everything.

    And make sure you say, "At least for this first trip." That way you sound reasonable.

    And then let him figure it out. Don't do anything else.
Sound advice. I did send him an email to that effect. He is going to pay for everything, but I don't like how that is being handled. Thanks for the advice?.?.........thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
8/20/2016 1:26 pm

 Way too many warnings on here!! You make the plans, he sends you the money. What if you book a plane ticket and then he welches out on meeting you??/ Well your credit card has been charged and you are SOL. I would find someone else to start a communication with and skip this individual period- no more emails or anything.
(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


mindworker1970 53M
328 posts
8/20/2016 1:42 pm

 Be careful. Sounds very familiar to me, and that ended poorly for me. Keep your eyes open, be ready to bail at a moments notice.


Linc1912 47M
978 posts
8/20/2016 1:45 pm

 in a PERFECT world, us men could find females locally that wanted to meet,
or were interested in meeting atleast half way. That way it would be less of a financial strain if they choose to not show up.

if you have hesitations- move on. There are plenty of men here that would be able to pass your anxiety test.

FYI- i knew of ALOT of men in the 90s that would send a ticket to a female and then CASH THEM IN for cash and never see the guy. Thank goodness for nonrefundable tickets!
~Linc was here.~


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 2:38 pm
    Quoting pocogato12:
    Way too many warnings on here!! You make the plans, he sends you the money. What if you book a plane ticket and then he welches out on meeting you??/ Well your credit card has been charged and you are SOL. I would find someone else to start a communication with and skip this individual period- no more emails or anything.
I already decided not to book anything at all. Thanks for commenting.....thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 2:40 pm
    Quoting mindworker1970:
    Be careful. Sounds very familiar to me, and that ended poorly for me. Keep your eyes open, be ready to bail at a moments notice.
I had it happen 2 times, but didn't lose any money, but lesson learned...thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


Msmealsonheels 30F  
688 posts
8/20/2016 2:42 pm

 I agree with wjb1958. Besides, in the end, even if everything went right in your favor - what would you have? Someone you never really could have - or a new partner whom is alright with cheating, has done it before, but will never do it again? Maybe all you want is some company for some minutes at at time, and then he will leave?


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 2:42 pm
    Quoting  :
I totally agree. That is why I posted the blog, to see if my instincts were on...thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 2:48 pm
    Quoting Msmealsonheels:
    I agree with wjb1958. Besides, in the end, even if everything went right in your favor - what would you have? Someone you never really could have - or a new partner whom is alright with cheating, has done it before, but will never do it again? Maybe all you want is some company for some minutes at at time, and then he will leave?
I agree with the red flags. Yes he is attached, but supposedly travels extensively. I could go on three trips. I would do it for that reason...thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 3:51 pm
    Quoting Linc1912:
    in a PERFECT world, us men could find females locally that wanted to meet,
    or were interested in meeting atleast half way. That way it would be less of a financial strain if they choose to not show up.

    if you have hesitations- move on. There are plenty of men here that would be able to pass your anxiety test.

    FYI- i knew of ALOT of men in the 90s that would send a ticket to a female and then CASH THEM IN for cash and never see the guy. Thank goodness for nonrefundable tickets!
Actually, when they get the ticket, since they paid for it, i cannot cash it in. That is not my intention. I'm not one of those people that don't show up, and do other crazy shit. I don't have a lot of anxiety, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, but also concerned about myself. It was just the way he was handling things.......thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/20/2016 4:31 pm

 He travels extensively. Well, he could travel his happy ass to me to meet and greet.
If we connect, then go forward. Number 1, he is not trustworthy already. He is cheating. If you do it with me, you will do it to me. I think he is sketchy.


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/20/2016 5:56 pm
    Quoting positively4you:
    He travels extensively. Well, he could travel his happy ass to me to meet and greet.
    If we connect, then go forward. Number 1, he is not trustworthy already. He is cheating. If you do it with me, you will do it to me. I think he is sketchy.
I didn't have the issue of him being a cheater, it was the planning. Obviously I don't care that he's attached, or I wouldn't have been planning on seeing him. I appreciate the comment.....thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/21/2016 8:20 am
    Quoting  :
I appreciate the advice. One th8ng that won't happen, is the funds. When we talk tonight, I am going to explain to him how others have made the plane reservations......thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/21/2016 8:21 am
    Quoting  :
Great idea to have him travel here. You and al,osteoporosis everybody else.........thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


honeyholekissr 75M  
Ask me for a photo
36 posts
8/26/2016 11:18 am

 if he travels so much , why can't he make the arrangements. to fishy... time to forget it and move on


thegrlsnme 67F
1683 posts
8/29/2016 2:52 pm
    Quoting honeyholekissr:
    if he travels so much , why can't he make the arrangements. to fishy... time to forget it and move on
Thanks for the advice.......thegrls
Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls


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