Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > tazzerman2000 > Cosmic Debris Part Three! |
How to email
|
How to email  Oh lord is THIS a can of worms but Ol Tazzerman is fearless and well, I think there's a serious need around here for a little 'course' on email ettiquite in general and how to email someone on this site. Of course I'm talking about men emailing women here. LOL I see examples of how NOT TO DO IT on a daily basis and it was one of those posts [post 3471002] that spurred this post today. (ExoticBeach1, I hope you don't mind me using your post as an example?) Here's what the guy wrote initially: "Wow! You are truly a beautiful woman! I want a girl that can relax with me after a hard days work and talk with me while we both drink a glass of wine together. Then while I'm giving you a back message I start to kiss you and caress you breasts. Then we both get naked and make love all night long. Does that sound good to you? If so, call fireman Adam. Or at least mail me back lol!!! Xoxoxoxo" On the surface this email doesn't seem TOO bad. Lord knows we've ALL seen a lot worse right? I'm sure the guy in question felt that he was being nice and offering a good time to the woman in question. When we look at this email a bit closer however, we see a LOT of problems. First off, this guy is assuming a WHOLE lot of things which I'm betting stems from the fact that he NEVER read her profile. Problem #1: You have GOT to read the girls profile! How in the world could you possibly know what she likes, who she likes, what she's looking for etc, without reading her PROFILE! This girl is actually kind enough to post her profile in her blog so that Standard members can see it. (A nice touch IMH  Problem #2: While this email sounds 'nice', it is in fact VERY self-centered and that comes shining through immediatly! The word 'I' is used way to many times. Instead, he should be ASKING HER what she's looking for and/or wants? Sure you can give her some information about yourself but you have GOT to understand HER and her needs and the initial email is the perfect time to start that 'learning curve'. Problem #3 He goes from nothing to having sex in zero flat. As it turns out, she doesn't like wine and doesn't like strangers 'massaging her back', two facts she tells him clearly in her response. BTW, in her profile she SAYS "Be ready for the truth if you want to get to know me, I don't hold back." and well, she doesn't. Imagine that... Resist the urge to 'go' sexual right off the bat! Regardless of how 'nice' your intentions might be, it's generall a bad idea and a total turn off at this stage my friends! His response to HER response? "Wow! You a fucking bitch! Fuck off!!!" Problem #3: Be GRACIOUS at all times! Just because you've been turned down or 'rejected' doesn't mean you have to go off the deep end. This response speaks VOLUMES about this guy and clearly shows that her initial response to this guy was dead on. (Good for you ExoticBeach1) The initial email should be gracious. You should be looking to ask questions about HER. The object here is to get to know HER a bit while at the same time, letting her know a bit about yourself! IMHO the main goal of the initial email is to get a 2nd, 3rd and more emails. You can't possibly learn enough in just one short email conversation! Look at that initial email as an introduction. Be nice, read her profile so you at least have SOME Idea about what she's 'about' and looking for. Mentioning items from her profile that you might have in common is a perfect way to go. Don't be pushy, don't be rude and crude and NEVER ever start off going from Hi there gorgeous to 'making love all night long' right off the fucking bat! There's a WHOLE lot more of course but this should give you guys who have read this post at least some idea of how to go about sending an email to the women on this site!  -tm |
||||
|
I really appreciate your blogs and it's comments posted specifically by men. It's nice to see that there are some men out there that understand how a woman feels, thinks and what she wants. I've had several irritated men express their frustration. And I simply say, that here in my area, the ratio of men to women is 30:1. The ball is in my court, in choosing who I think fits my criteria of a sexual partner. I have experienced problem #2 many many times. If a guy wants success in my geographical area, he must pay attention exactly how Tazzerman has explained things above.
| |||
|
Tazzerman: Great post, as usual: One suggestion: I'd have loved to have seen the original listing the "gentleman" in question was responding to. Why? Because it would have better allowed me to determine if he was sending out a cookie-cutter email (which it sure sounds like he was) featuring his little fantasy without -- as you note in Problem #3 -- incorporate ANY of the hints she offered about herself in her profile. You've done a damned good job of showing how he screwed up... maybe, for a future post, you -- or some other blogger -- could walk folks through how to read and respond to a profile? Or should this be let alone, as these types of outreaches help people separate the jerks from the catches? Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
| |||
|
Tazz if they ever did read the profile they would realize if the person was meeting or not and why they are on this site in the first place. I think they write before they are thinking with their little head because of a pic on the girls profile. I have seen over the years some really bad emails on here sent to me.. What are they thinking before sending.. Normally those type of emails I wouldn't even send a responds back. Not worth the efforts. Good post ty hugsssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
| |||
|
TM and JustHere2Cam, you're both absolutely correct. And, frankly, if a woman really is that desperate I can't see why she hasn't just hopped on down to the local bar and picked someone up. It would be easier and a lot quicker. My personal opinion is that those types of emails, where it's obvious that they have made or are unwilling to make an effort, are just a waste of time and really do turn women off of giving a guy, any guy, a chance. The insult after injury just makes it harder for those who do it right or are at least willing to learn.
| |||
|
I wrote a long post a while back about "The Rules of Introduction Etiquette". It has been my popular post ever. Another observation about that email is that it's completely impersonal. There is nothing in there at all about her. It could be sent to any woman in this site... and that's probably just what he does. He's probably one of those guys who spambombs every woman for 1,000 miles in any direction with the same generic, impersonal message, hoping that *someone* will be desperate enough to respond. Personally, I wouldn't want to find the most desperate woman on here because... well, I'm not that desperate! [post 3097853] Come join the half-nekkid fun! Check out HNW Bloggers.  
|
Become a member to create a blog
