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Eighteenth Virtual Symposium: Query “Is Secrets Resorts A Swingers’ Place?” Offers Views On Swinging
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Eighteenth Virtual Symposium: Query “Is Secrets Resorts A Swingers’ Place?” Offers Views On Swinging This blog entry is part of the eighteenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted for a single topic (“Secrets”) and agreed, on or about April 3, to post their interpretations of that topic. A continually updated list of participants can be found here: Participants List For The Eighteenth Virtual Symposium Secrets The Tr1pAdvis0r topic board which addresses the query “Is Secrets resorts a swingers place” is closed for comment, so we won’t have the opportunity to offer our two cents. But the comments are still up, and they give an interesting cross-section of reactions to swinging. Before we get into the responses, a note: It’s easy to see why the questioner was confused. A quick search revealed two adult stores called “Secrets” – one in Denver (tagline: “It’s Cheaper Than Dating”) and the other in Pleasant Hill, CA. The comments for Secrets in Pleasant Hill offer a sterling example of the value of customer service: There’s an inordinate amount of space dedicated to bashing one particularly unreceptive retail-level employee. As for Tr1pAdvis0r: On Nov. 19, 2012, a would-be vacationer asked “Is Secrets resorts a swingers place? My wife and I are looking to book a vacation to Cancun or Cozumel and love the concept of Adult only.” The short answer: No, unlike the Desire and Hedonism resorts, it’s not. As the open-minded Llisa from Calgary, Alberta noted, “I don't believe that participation is mandatory as it appears from a couple of forum threads that some people enjoy just the clothing-optional aspect of those resorts.” But on an internet chat board, posters are rarely content leaving well enough alone. The puritanical KKJACKS from Oklahoma City jumped in with “Let's certainly hope not!!! I read up [on the resort before it was rebranded Secrets] and … it sounded like maybe they wanted it to be...but that was years ago and it seemed mosts [sic] posts indicated that idea fell flat…Thank goodness… I can assure you if I get the hint that is going on, even if it isn't ‘mandatory’ I'll be relocating. It bothers me to even know that is out there and going on.” The libertines weren’t going to let that lie, of course: Froglegs55 responded “‘Thank Goodness?’ Some people want what you don't....evidently...and you shouldn't look down on them.” That didn’t sit well with at least one reader. DIVESD of Presho, SD asked “Is there no behavior we are "allowed" to look down on anymore? Geeesh.....” Llisa to the rescue! She quoted KKJACKS sentiment "It bothers me to even know that is out there and going on" and added – almost certainly correctly – “Oh, it's out there and it's going on - maybe even in your very own neighbourhood.” But haters gonna hate, as the say, and CO_Pilot54 from Colorado Springs, Colo., had to add his two cents: “A previous ‘plan’ [an early rebranding effort which included a different name] was geared towards deviant behavior. Yep, looking down on perversion.” Aww, really, CO_Pilot54? Because pretty much anything that ain’t missionary sex for the purpose of procreation is going to be looked down on by someone, somewhere. Hell, even the Shakers eschewed sex entirely – which is why there are very few Shakers these days. (they replenish their ranks through recruitment, for the curious.) Desmei from Ontario weighed in with a fair question: “Does adults only=swingers? I'm sorta naive, so maybe it does. There's always Temptations in Cancun. Or hey, just ask your waiter...he might be game!” Up jumped Llisa with an answer! “Not so far as I know. If any sort of risque behaviour occurs, you'll typically see a whole spate of postings about it on these forums and in the reviews. By all accounts, Temptations is VERY tame compared to Desires.” Quoting Desmei’s “Or hey, just ask your waiter...he might be game!" she replied “OK, now that's funny - but do I tip him before or after and should that be in dollars or pesos?” The worldly kclady66 observed “I think you tip the waiter after. You don't ususaly [sic] tip unless you get good SERVICE. LOL?” 20WorldTraveler11 tried to get the conversation back on track. “It's very entertaining reading all of the posts. All of the names seem similar Secrets, Desires, Temptations, Dreams and we haven't visited any of them. We aren't into the swinging thing, don't care if someone else is, but didn't want to end up at a resort where we were uncomfortable.” Llisa, who Sseems to know a thing or two about the branding of adult resorts, responded “Dreams is a very popular FAMILY FRIENDLY resort; the last place I'd associate with any sort of swinging activity! As stated above, Desires is the ONLY resort I know that actively touts itself as a ‘lifestyle’ resort and even they've toned down their website of late… Temptations' website byline states: adults only + topless optional + all inclusive + sexy + fun. It also talks about "’dults only oriented shows and games’. Secrets does NOT specifically cater to the "sexy" side of adult only; their focus tends to be more "romantic" and they're a very popular choice with honeymooners. All kidding aside, I think anyone dismissing Secrets resorts out of hand due to some mistaken idea that they specifically target and attract a swinging clientele is doing themselves a disservice.” At this point the “comment deleted” notifications started appearing fairly frequently. The next which appeared intact fell squarely in the “live and let live” category, when Fort Macmurray, Alberta-based PalaceHo wrote: “Just avoid any "Too-Friendly" couples. Lol…Secrets Resorts are NOT Hedonism or Temptation type resorts….Hubby and I will be staying at Aura in June, we enjoy the Secrets chain because of the Adults Only environment and the generally quiet atmosphere… And we don't share so I guess you could say we don't play nice with others.” I’ll give the final word here (although the thread went on for a few more responses) to BrandiLove of Raleigh, N.C.: “I'm astonished by some of the replies in here. Are we really this threatened by people who live outside the ‘norm’? “All kidding aside, I think anyone dismissing Secrets resorts out of hand due to some mistaken idea that they specifically target and attract a swinging clientele is doing themselves a disservice. “I think anyone dismissing a resort because there may be people in The Lifestyle there is a sign that one needs to evolve. Contrary to popular belief, just because one is a swinger doesn't mean they want to sleep with everyone. Additionally, all research supports the position that swingers tend to be happily adjusted, upper middle class Christians. That doesn't sound like a horrible demographic.” BrandiLove quoted KKJACKS’s sentiment “I can assure you if I get the hint that is going on, even if it isn't ‘mandatory’ I'll be relocating. It bothers me to even know that is out there and going on.” BrandiLove then postulated “So if I was there vacationing and you found out you would actually move resorts? You should at least get to know someone before dismissing them. Never know.. you may actually like me! “I think I may just plan a trip to Secrets with my swinger & adult industry friends. It sounds like this place could use an infusion of life , tolerance and FUN!” No word on what KKJACKS thought of the whole mess, but I know which responders I’m going to for travel suggestions… Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic |
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One more reason I don't typically read Internet reviews... anonymity always seems to sink things to the lowest common denominator Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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One more reason I don't typically read Internet reviews... anonymity always seems to sink things to the lowest common denominator Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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hahaha - awww, the fear of the unknown, the judgement of things one knows nothing about. It's become a sport - like let's see who can be the most ignorant. It's sad really. The world must be such a scary place for such people. Always tell the truth Use kind words Keep your promises Giggle and laugh Be positive Love one another Always be grateful Forgiveness is mandatory Try new things Say please and thank you Say your prayers Smile ~Author unknown
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A well crafted post. Some people just can't seem to understand that swinging is optional, consenting and generally privately practiced, as well as being great fun!  
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hahaha - awww, the fear of the unknown, the judgement of things one knows nothing about. It's become a sport - like let's see who can be the most ignorant. It's sad really. The world must be such a scary place for such people. Look, there are some people for whom swinging is not appropriate. They wouldn't enjoy it, they are threatened by it... or their particular kink is monogamy, which is a perfectly fine kink. But... no rock throwing, verbal or otherwise, at those who set aside places where they can indulge, if you please... And yes, for people who feel the need to pee on variant sexuality, the world must indeed be a scary place... they're surrounded by enemies! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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A well crafted post. Some people just can't seem to understand that swinging is optional, consenting and generally privately practiced, as well as being great fun! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Bonjour Humorlife Il y aura toujours ceux qui aiment le sexe et ceux qui n'aiment rien . Et entre les deux une multitude de pensées différentes , presque une par être humains . ♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Humorlife There will always be those who love sex and those who love nothing. And in between a multitude of different thoughts, almost one by human being. ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥
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Bonjour Humorlife Il y aura toujours ceux qui aiment le sexe et ceux qui n'aiment rien . Et entre les deux une multitude de pensées différentes , presque une par être humains . ♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Humorlife There will always be those who love sex and those who love nothing. And in between a multitude of different thoughts, almost one by human being. ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥ If I have to choose between those who love sex and those who love nothing, I know who I'm choosing to be with, every time! But I disagree that these people love nothing. I think they love telling other people not to love sex! Bonjour Annie: Si je dois choisir entre ceux qui aiment le sexe et ceux qui aiment rien, je sais qui je choisis d'être avec, à chaque fois! Mais je suis en désaccord que ces gens aiment rien. Je pense qu'ils aiment dire aux autres personnes de ne pas aimer le sexe! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Shhh... you'll give away another of the secrets... half of the fun is that it is "unapproved"... by exactly the sort of people who one would like to annoy! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Well put, and thank you, but... are there other groups in the world subject to ignorance-driven intolerance besides people who like variant sex? Who knew? *Sigh* Don't forget to rise above online spats whenever possible... they're bad for the digestion. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Nice read, as usual.... You give such nice perspectives. So sad that we are still in the stone age when it comes to anything pleasurably sexual....
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Nice read, as usual.... You give such nice perspectives. So sad that we are still in the stone age when it comes to anything pleasurably sexual.... And those who would take offense at it are exactly the sort of people under whose saddles I'd want to place a burr... Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I think that the commenters on ANYTHING tend to run the gamut from hilarious to very stuffy. This was proved by your choice of comments on this post. I for one would love to accompany you and any of your chosen friends to one of the resorts where we could frolic all day long... Great post and thank you for putting this post on the symposium AND for putting the symposium together again, Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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I think that the commenters on ANYTHING tend to run the gamut from hilarious to very stuffy. This was proved by your choice of comments on this post. I for one would love to accompany you and any of your chosen friends to one of the resorts where we could frolic all day long... Great post and thank you for putting this post on the symposium AND for putting the symposium together again, Kitkat Thank YOU for supporting, promoting, and contributing to the symposium! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I do not speak English, so I hope I understood with the translator. I feel we are moving backwards. The world is increasingly intolerant. Some want imposed their thoughts to others. It's sad. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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As I understand it, swinger-friendly resorts do cater to a mature crowd. While the resorts themselves won't give you demographics, reviews often have indications of the age of the reviewers, so that's a start... I may be blinded (or hopeful) here, but it seems to me that once someone embraces a variant sexual lifestyle for him/herself, he/she is more likely to appreciate variance in others. No, this isn't universal, and I've met people who don't fit this mold, but by and large it holds -- again, even if folks don't participate, they appreciate. Here's a fun one: Most libertarians I've spoken with (and I am NOT one) are fairly cool about sexual variance. Anyone want to step up and affirm or deny this? Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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And all this time I thought travel was for the purpose of expanding one's horizons.
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And all this time I thought travel was for the purpose of expanding one's horizons. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Thank you, as always! And yeah, wouldn't it be great if one or two of those I quote were part of the blogosphere here? Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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When looking at the whole scope of what you shared ...my thoughts begin to wonder where the people making the snap judgements got their believes it was ok to judge another ....I was raised to believe as long as someone is not hurting you , and it doesn't affect you ....then there should be no judgement . What does the good book say ....Judge not , lest ye be judged enjoyed the post Not a lot of jokes, though. I always thought it would sell better if it had more jokes, and possibly a car chase or two. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I am so far behind on my blog reading it's not funny... I'm still addressing posts from last month's symposium! (It's been a very busy month.) I can't wait to read about sexual Fantasy Island... or is it Sexual Fantasy Island? Yes, there are swinger-only resorts: Hedo I,II, and III come to mind, along the the various Desire locations (I've heard that Pearl is supposed to be nice, albeit expensive.) There are online accounts of 'em... might be interesting to read your reaction to the published accounts, especially in light of your post... Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I love this post! It entertains and baffles me at the same time that so many people just cannot live and let live. Give me liberty or give me death, but keep those fucking swingers the hell away from me! And we have such prejudice all across the social spectrum, from the folks who are certain gay marriage will destroy their own- which it won't, unless one of you is gay- to the perverts who join this site to cheat on a spouse but disapprove of sluts. Especially the really picky, bitchy ones who won't fuck them. I was surprised and delighted that you worked the Shakers into your post! I'm enthralled by the Shaker style- their communal living and their dedication to the simple and unadorned, both in the lifestyle and in particular their woodworking. And I'm appalled that they eschewed sex! I visited Hancock Shaker Village- I covet the magnificent blue workbench there- and PD and I toured the village. One guide was a little non-plussed that I brought up the Shaker celibacy and expressed my dismay at it. They had so many things right- how could they fuck THIS up...and without ever actually fucking! It would have been the perfect lifestyle resort for me, if only they had been sluts! Such an opportunity missed. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I love this post! It entertains and baffles me at the same time that so many people just cannot live and let live. Give me liberty or give me death, but keep those fucking swingers the hell away from me! And we have such prejudice all across the social spectrum, from the folks who are certain gay marriage will destroy their own- which it won't, unless one of you is gay- to the perverts who join this site to cheat on a spouse but disapprove of sluts. Especially the really picky, bitchy ones who won't fuck them. I was surprised and delighted that you worked the Shakers into your post! I'm enthralled by the Shaker style- their communal living and their dedication to the simple and unadorned, both in the lifestyle and in particular their woodworking. And I'm appalled that they eschewed sex! I visited Hancock Shaker Village- I covet the magnificent blue workbench there- and PD and I toured the village. One guide was a little non-plussed that I brought up the Shaker celibacy and expressed my dismay at it. They had so many things right- how could they fuck THIS up...and without ever actually fucking! It would have been the perfect lifestyle resort for me, if only they had been sluts! Such an opportunity missed. As for the Shakers: I kid you not, that was a nod to you. You'd written about them a while back in one of your posts, and in a previous life had indicated your own level of crafti- and handiness. So yes, that was a definite tip of the chapeau in your direction. Well spotted! I'd driven by the Shaker Village in Massachusetts several times, but never had an opportunity to stop and visit, which is a shame. That said, the idea of combining your fascination with their woodwork with a lifestyle getaway is a very, very, good one. Y'know, all we'd need is a few acres and a power source... if it's near a stream we could make the resort hydro-powered AND have a place for skinny dipping. I've even got the perfect name for it: What do you think of "Lather and Lathe"? You in? Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Delighted to have been of delight! As I've said elsewhere, the anonymity of the internet emboldens. Add that to the fact that there is a certain class of people -- and this isn't a political class, it's a personality-type class -- who are very concerned that someone, somewhere out there is having more fun than they are. As for the Shakers: I kid you not, that was a nod to you. You'd written about them a while back in one of your posts, and in a previous life had indicated your own level of crafti- and handiness. So yes, that was a definite tip of the chapeau in your direction. Well spotted! I'd driven by the Shaker Village in Massachusetts several times, but never had an opportunity to stop and visit, which is a shame. That said, the idea of combining your fascination with their woodwork with a lifestyle getaway is a very, very, good one. Y'know, all we'd need is a few acres and a power source... if it's near a stream we could make the resort hydro-powered AND have a place for skinny dipping. I've even got the perfect name for it: What do you think of "Lather and Lathe"? You in? I can easily understand why the Shakers were celibate. I still think it's a shame. A society like the Shakers created had to be a godsend to women of the time. Being a woman has always been hazardous to your health, but it was a near death sentence for women in times past. Childbirth alone was arduous and dangerous, and women were not only chattel as labor but as sex objects. The time now is right for an egalitarian community that celebrates sexuality and sharing, and sharing sexuality. We might have called it "Quakers"....but that name's already taken. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Aww... Yup, I remember those neighbors coming out of the closet as swingers on the show... much to Kurtwood Smith's discomfort... Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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