When Do..... - a Blog Post by Massage_Man_00

Blogs > Massage_Man_00 > Confessions Of A Trouser Clown

10813 posts
2/21/2009 2:45 pm

When Do.....

So when do you learn from your mistakes?

I'll admit it's taken me a few times to learn from mine in my life, but because of some of the things that I've seen and been through in my life, I have countless friends ask me on how to get through things and they look for advice on things they are going through.

The abusive boyfriend/husband,
Drugs, of the not so legal kind,
How to work on something,
How to spot lies,
etc, etc etc.....

And what's sad, I see the same mistakes made over and over. As I've said, I've made a few of those mistakes myself, as we all have. But you'd think that when someone turns to you to ask for your help to get something straightened out, that they might actually take heed to your advice.

Frankly I just feel like giving up on helping people. They won't listen, I wont advise

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rm_ShyUTGal 64F

11101 posts
2/21/2009 3:17 pm

awww now don't do that (give up helping people). They ARE listening you know, they just may not be ready to take your advise. And also they may be looking for advise that fits what they already know they're going to do. Help when and if you feel inspired to, and share your knowledge and great compassion that way. If you try to help EVERYONE who dumps their troubles on you, you'll burn out. What's that old song? You can't please everyone, so you better please yourself (first). And abusive relationships are hard to break out of, those persons (in them) are deluded and in denial a lot of times. Sounds like you need a vacation from the people who are leaning on you. Take a break. I think you're fabulous and I don't even really know you!

firegryphon 54F

5903 posts
2/21/2009 5:29 pm

My son said this of himself and i think it applies to us both.

"I'm a fuck-up..I fuck up alot, but never at the same thing twice.

The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.

LustyTaurus 56M

21250 posts
2/21/2009 8:39 pm

some of it will stick, eventually...I get the same as you...people asking questions or help or advice.

rm_buttonboks 67F

1691 posts
2/22/2009 12:58 am

Sadly there are times we must learn through our mistakes. Good advice not withstanding. If it involves the heart even with the best of advice the mistakes need to be made. All you can do is be there when the time comes that a shoulder is needed,,,,,and no I told you so.

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72wantyou 113F

2/22/2009 8:49 am

Hun, you can't take their actions personally. Yes, they asked for your input on a given situation and you gave advice. That's where your responsibility ends. If people want change, it will happen. I think the trouble is that people don't know how to change their life for the better. Sometimes it is easier to complain rather than making the effort to change. That's how I was...until my mental health suffered so much from the lack of doing anything about it that I spoke up. Yes, my life was hell for a time....but I haven't been happier in the last few years. It's scary to create change, to cause disruption in one's life....but when the time is right....they will do it. It's just a matter of how badly they want it.